


Grief Counseling

by orphan_account



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, I don't ship Zoomlin even though I put it down as a relationship, I just updated these tags because I realized I forgot to include Wally!, Jesse is Original Harrison Wells' daughter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-01
Updated: 2017-01-11
Packaged: 2018-08-12 11:03:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 58
Words: 144,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7932184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jesse Thawne misses her father. But she'd miss him more if he wasn't a supervillain who had lied to her for her whole life.</p><p>Caitlin Snow wants to be okay. The trouble is, it's hard to move on when everyone's worried about you.</p><p>Cisco Ramon is trying to keep his team together. He just wishes that they would start to trust him more.</p><p>Harrison Wells is adrift from everything he knows. Anyone, at any moment, could figure out what he's hiding, and he can't let that happen.</p><p>Hunter Zolomon has a secret. But he doesn't want to let it get in the way of his plan to make Caitlin love him.</p><p>A mostly canon-compliant retelling of Season 2 of The Flash, from the perspective of characters who got shafted by the plot. Be warned: strong feminism. Also, only minimal superheroics.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Jesse, Cisco

**Author's Note:**

> I really don't own literally any of this.

_**Jesse** _

_Sure wish durability was a little higher up on the list of super strength benefits_ , Jesse Wells reflected as her spine collided with the cement wall. She gritted her teeth, dodged her opponent's oncoming boot, and grabbed his arm, twisting it until she felt a satisfying crunch. The man yelped in pain and fumbled for his gun. Ducking behind crates, she counted shots. 16 chambers, he'd used 3 already. Four...Five...Six...Seven...

Jesse heard his startled scream, felt a breeze across her face, and knew she was in for it. The cavalry had come.

Barry jogged over to her pile of crates, the unmasked half of his face frozen in frustration.  
“So, how was it today, Jesse? 3 broken bones? Four? If it’s anything under eleven, then I suppose you’re improving!” Jesse slowly heaved herself upright, steeling her nerves against the stabbing pain in her back. “I guess that’s a no, then.”

“Barry, I have powers. I’m using them.”

“Jesse, there’s a difference between using your powers and volunteering yourself to be someone’s punching bag!”

“I had him!” Jesse protested, even as her shoulder gave a nasty throb. From the look on Barry’s face, his eyebrows were raised under the mask.

“Come back to STAR Labs, and I’ll have Caitlin patch you up.” This was hardly an olive branch, since getting patched up generally involved listening to another rant, but Jesse couldn’t afford to refuse the help with her injuries again.

“I’m going to keep doing this.”

“No, you’re not.”

“I’m helping!”

“No, you’re not.”

“Is all you can say ‘no, you’re not?’”

“No, it isn’t.” Jesse began an exasperated sigh, then cringed as the fracture in her ribs made itself alarmingly apparent.

* * *

 

_**Cisco** _

  
Cisco Ramon stared at his workstation and worried. Lately, he’d been doing a lot of that. Being the metahuman advisor to the CCPD wasn’t exactly a walk in the park, but he’d sure forgotten the stress that came from helping out Barry. Dude was a bundle of nerves. He’d recommended his yoga instructor, but somehow Barry hadn’t seemed interested. Hey, even the Flash needs some Zen time! So Barry was overworking (as if that was a surprise), and that was a small drop in the cosmic ocean of worry Cisco was drowning in.

  1. Barry is overworking.
  2. The reason Barry is overworking is because there _were_ two guys walking around with the same face--until the one with powers murdered the one without powers.
  3. Cisco had been having really odd fainting fits recently. Like, Inception-level weird, and he was actively ignoring what they might mean about him.
  4. Speaking of fainting fits, Barry’s probably famished.
  5. Does STAR labs even have the funds to buy food for Barry??????
  6. Jesse Wells is going to kill herself crime-fighting. _But, yeah, looks like Barry’s got that covered._
  7. If Barry keeps on yelling at Jesse that way, he’ll make his throat hoarse, and he might not be able to vibrate his vocal chords, and so someone might out him as the Flash.
  8. Where’s Dante? It’s actually pretty weird… usually, when Dante shouldn’t be around, he’s everywhere. But he hasn’t shown up once today. Actually, come to think of it, that might not be the worst thing in the world. Couldn’t have his bro making a pass at Caitlin after Ronnie…
  9. Is Professor Stein going to be okay without Ronnie? 
  10. There is no Worry 10.



That last one wasn’t precisely true. Usually, he could suppress Worry 10, but it’s hard to suppress something you’re staring right at. In fact, Cisco had honed in on worries 1-9 purely to distract him from Worry 10.

Worry 10 was Cait.

Cisco knew his bestie--or he thought he did. Hell, he’d known Cait even longer than her boyfr-fian—husb—Ronnie had. But Cisco had never seen anyone act like Caitlin was acting right now. When his abuela became a widow, she’d cried for almost a week. His mom had gone over to keep the house clean, answer the condoling notes, and remind Abuela to eat.

Then again, Abuela had been a widow at seventy-five, after a fifty-four year marriage. Caitlin was a widow at twenty-seven, after a marriage of--did it really count as a day? More like several minutes. But still, she should have cried a bit, right? Cait had done something similar the last time Ronnie died--hidden herself inside a little turtle shell, spoken to no one, and been viciously icy to anyone who tried to reach her. But he had thought she had realized how bad that had been for her. And Cisco had to admit that this time was worse. Instead of lashing out at everyone, she put on a fakey smile and pretended that everything was okay. Did Barry not realize? How were all the geniuses on this team so freaking oblivious? Where was Barry again? _Oh, still yelling at Jesse._ Okay.

But the day after Ronnie died, Cisco had showed up at Caitlin’s apartment to find that she had moved out. It took him nearly a week to track her down. Central was a big city, and, to be fair, Cisco had been very busy. He’d knocked on her door with his mother’s miraculous breakup stew--he knew it didn’t quite fit the situation, but it was close enough, he’d be careful not to let the title slip, and holy Pac-man, it was good. Cisco had expected to find Caitlin icy, withdrawn, and staring at a wall. Instead, she had answered the door in a very ill-fitting smile. She’d taken the soup, thanked him for coming, told him that she was sorry they wouldn’t be working together anymore--and before Cisco knew it, he was on her doorstep, staring at the wrong side of red-painted hardwood.

He hadn’t seen her since then, right up until he’d gone to Mercury Labs to recruit her back to the team. But he knew Caitlin, and he knew that she was not over Ronnie. She was overworking, far more than Barry, finding more jobs to do around STAR Labs than those idiots in the Nationwide retirement commercial. The other day, he’d happened on her running Barry’s blood samples at 4:30 AM. She’d set up a cot downstairs, and she couldn’t be getting more than 3 hours of sleep. Cisco, unlike Caitlin, had been on actual business at the lab, packing up tools for one of the CCPD’s early-morning metahuman arrests, and he’d crashed for 6 hours after.

He’d even set up a drone system to keep tabs on Cait when he couldn’t. Since she wasn’t dealing with her grief normally in front of people, he thought he’d see how she acted when no one was around. He’d expected teary breakdowns over a photo of Ronnie at night. That’s how he’d always dealt with a bad breakup--well, that and breakup stew--and he imagined that watching someone you loved die would probably require a similar coping routine. In fact, that was how he had coped with losing Ronnie--lots of crying in memory of one of his best friends ever. But instead of being reassured by footage of Caitlin displaying normal human emotion, he had been treated to hours upon hours of Caitlin working. She must have been on to him. Even when she did go home, she didn’t let down, not for one second. She just went about her life as though there had never been anyone else in it. He’d even tried mentioning Ronnie to her, and she’d given him a confused look as though she didn’t know the name. He decided to ask Barry to try to get through to her--sometimes she talked to him, maybe because he’d also lost people close to him. At the moment, however, Barry was still yelling at Jesse, so that would have to wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just so everybody knows, here's Jesse Thawne's deal:  
> She's the daughter of original Wells, born just before the car crash and raised by Thawne. She got superstrength in the accelerator explosion, but didn't really work very much with the team. She's really struggling right now with Thawne's betrayal.  
> The reason I didn't use Jesse from Earth-2 is that a) I wanted a female hero character with powers, (it's kind of sad that Flash doesn't have one yet), and b) I wasn't sure how to go about writing the trauma of someone who was held captive for 8 (!) months. I felt like the show really glossed over that, but I didn't think I could do it justice either. So I used a sort of other Jesse.


	2. Caitlin, Hunter, Caitlin

_**Caitlin** _

Caitlin was sick and tired of being worried over, so when Jesse Wells had shown up on her doorstep three nights before, she had sympathized. She hadn’t clucked, fussed, or scolded. Instead, she’d cleaned Jesse up and agreed not to tell Barry. As far as he knew, Jesse was done crime-fighting. In reality, she was still going strong with the aid of some prototype body armor Caitlin had swiped from Cisco’s workstation. Caitlin hadn’t told Cisco about helping Jesse. She might have, if it weren’t for the fact that by telling him, she would have to admit that she’d asked a hacker friend of hers to make those supposedly-undetectable drones he’d sicced on her display only footage of her working or sleeping.

Jesse was here now, sitting quietly in a chair as Caitlin ran tests on her injuries. They didn’t have much time before Caitlin had to go to work.

“Well, luckily for you, you’re a quick healer. Not as fast as Barry, but fast. You’ll be decent enough to fight by tonight, especially if you stay off your feet today. You expecting anyone at home?”

“No.”

“Good. Take my bed, eat, rest. You’ll feel better. I’ll see you tomorrow night, Jesse.”

“See you. Thanks for the help.”

“You’re welcome.”

* * *

 

_**Hunter** _

Hunter Zolomon couldn't quite control himself as he prepared to step through the door. He had seen the back of Barry Allen’s head, he had photographed him from a distance, he had tailed Barry Allen’s associates. He had plotted and planned and prepared for this very moment. This was when he would know if it was going to work out. He stepped through the door, holding his hands above his head in a “I mean you no harm” gesture.

The first to react was Cisco Ramon. Twenty-five, long greasy hair, a casual T-shirt. Metahuman ability to see through breaches and across time and space, as well as open breaches and project vibration waves. He just didn’t know it yet.

For a split second, Hunter was paralyzed. He hadn’t realized that almost everyone would be here. Martin Stein, half of Firestorm. He’d better find a new half fast, or there wouldn’t be a Firestorm. Joe and Iris West--Hunter knew the most about them. He had spent most of his effort researching Barry, not his friends. However, since Barry lived with the Wests, Hunter had spent a significant amount of time observing them. They were the most important figures in Barry’s life. _Has she gotten over Thawne yet?_ Judging by the ring she wore on a chain under her shirt, evidently not. Joe West had drawn a gun. Was that the man’s reaction to everything?

And then the head of brown hair he knew like the back of his hand turned around, and Barry Allen stood facing him accusingly. Suddenly, Hunter felt at ease. This kid was going to be no problem. He began to rattle off the speech he had practiced, keeping his tone calm, and his eyes level and honest.

Across the room, the last person present turned around. He gazed at her with an interest he tried not to betray.

Of all Barry’s teammates, she was the one he knew least about. He had only seen her in person once, very briefly. After the explosion that had sent him here, the team had all gone their separate ways. By the time he’d known to look for her, she’d hidden herself well--working at Mercury Labs, living half a block away. She never went out in public but to drive to and from work in a car with tinted windows, early in the morning and late at night so that nobody else was around. Running into her at the Flash Day ceremony had been a surprise, but he’d barely gotten more than a passing glimpse at her. She’d lost her husband in the singularity, he knew.

Now he looked at her from the corner of his eye, continuing to meet Barry’s gaze as he sized her up. She stood slightly apart from the others. While they leaned on desks comfortably--except for Joe West, who was still pointing the gun, and Barry (honestly, Hunter was surprised Barry hadn’t attacked him yet--wasn’t he supposed to be a little bit trigger-happy with his powers?)--she stood awkwardly, twirling her hair around her finger, plucking at her dress, playing with her nails. She had a worn, cardboard smile, pasted on so often she’d forgotten to take it off. _She’s not okay--but she wants everyone to think so._ He knew a thing or two about that. After an initial glance at him, she’d looked back down, her eyebrows furrowed in intense concentration. She still wore her wedding ring, he saw. Judging by her footwear, she wasn’t in the field often. Her makeup was heavy, as if she was trying to hide something. Peering slightly forward, he saw dark circles under her concealer. Now she looked up again, and flashed him a brilliant, warm smile. She remembers me. She rolled her eyes ever so slightly in the direction of Barry, as if to say, “Can you believe this guy?” He grinned back at her.

She was brunette, thin and tall. Despite her awkwardness, she held herself with an unconscious grace, a sort of pride. But whenever Barry, Stein, or Cisco looked at her, her movements assumed a sort of feverish vivacity, as if she were the only one at a party, trying to have enough fun to make up for all the absent guests. Resting, as she had been when he first saw her, she lost that frantic quality, gazing languidly at whatever happened to be in front of her. Despite the slight nervousness of her demeanor, her hands were steady as they fidgeted--not the slightest of tremors. A surgeon’s hands. Her shoulders were thin and square, with a hint of long-held tension.

Her eyes as she gazed at him were liquid brown, but he could see a buried depth of hurt in them. It reminded him of his mother when she’d been hit too hard.

He wanted to help her, protect her, keep her safe. Judging by the dark circles, she didn’t care much about keeping herself safe. Hunter made a pact with himself. _If all goes according to plan, don’t kill Caitlin Snow. Save her._

Hunter Zolomon--Zoom--had found an adversary worthy of his steel. Someone who could exert absolute power over him. With one gaze, she had beat him, left him defenseless. Now, he had to break down her guard, make her willing to bend. This was going to be the best fight of his life, with an infinitely precious reward at the end.

Barry Allen? Conquering the multiverse? Ruling it? That was going to be easy. Getting Caitlin Snow by his side would be harder. 

* * *

**_ Caitlin _ **

It had been a long day at work. Caitlin had spent the day updating the entire STAR Labs security and surveillance system— installing recoded, double-firewalled electronic lock sets— while Cisco’s entire day’s work had consisted of changing the color of the emblem on Barry’s suit from red to white. It had taken longer than one would think. Caitlin had suggested painting it, but apparently that wasn’t “legit”. She leaned over the workstation, pulling on a cheery smile as Barry walked through the door.

Unsurprisingly, Barry was more interested in the emblem than the security. Just like a guy. Cisco tried to back her up, explaining at length to Barry how awesome it was that nobody was able to “waltz in”, and eventually he mustered up some enthusiasm. She began to allow her mind to drift away from the present.

_Should Jesse have an outfit? Like, Barry’s type of easily recognizable, highly distinctive outfit? Or would street clothes make it easier for Jesse to blend into a crowd? Jesse definitely needs some sort of a mask...Maybe it would work to repurpose that big stack of black clothing and veils Grandmother sent when--he passed—_

Out of the blue, she heard Cisco gasp. Whirling around a split second after everyone else, Caitlin saw a man silhouetted in the doorway. She edged slightly forward to get a look at his face. Where had she seen it before? College? The coffee shop? No, it was more recent than that. He had stood in the crowd at the Flash Day celebration. Caitlin had tripped running from Atom Smasher and he had helped her up. She began to tell Barry that he couldn’t possibly be an evil metahuman, then bit her tongue. What was the point? Barry rarely listened to her. Caitlin remembered all too well that Barry and Cisco had kept from her the knowledge that Harrison Wells was not who he seemed. And besides, the man--Jay Garrick, as he had introduced himself to Barry while she deliberated--was speaking for himself, weaving an impossible-sounding tale of another Earth, another Flash--another dangerous speedster called Zoom.

Barry, as usual, was having a temper tantrum. Having his dad leave town must have gotten to him. _Why is it that men get to express how they’re feeling whenever they want, and everyone else has to watch them do it and wait for them to finish?_ She remembered her mom coming home from work the day after the divorce papers went through, when Carla Snow became Carla Tannhauser once more, with her head held high and her eyes dry. Her mother, a brilliant scientist, cheated out of a Nobel when her co-workers fired her from the project for “unprofessional behavior”. The day Caitlin left for med school, her mother had told her the three self-evident truths of being a woman in a man’s world:

  1. If you want to be respected the same as any given man, you have to be able to do everything they can, only better.
  2. If you want to be respected the same as any given man, you have to put up with being treated as lesser than that given man--being paid less, having to clean up their messes, having to tiptoe around their weaknesses to avoid making them mad, and having to smile while you do it.
  3. If you show emotion as a woman in a man’s world, they will think it is because you are weak. No matter what is going on in your life, everyone has to think that you are OK. Men like to think that they are stronger than women, but they don’t want to respect or even work with somebody who is weaker than them.



Caitlin had laughed then. She’d laughed a whole lot less after one of her chemistry professors made a pass at her in tutorial, and she’d stopped laughing altogether when she was nearly expelled for slapping that professor. And by the time she was about to graduate, she had practically forgotten how to laugh. When her (male) lab partner had thrown a beaker at her for accidentally misrecording a measurement, he’d gotten off with a detention, and a sudden uptick in popularity. When she had yelled at him for it, she’d been branded a bitch. And when her boyfriend had broken up with her over the label and she had come to class crying, she’d been told that if she was incapable of keeping herself under control, she’d best pursue a career in acting.

Harrison Wells--Eobard Thawne--and his team had seen her as a scientist first, a human second, and a woman third. Caitlin was lucky to be where she was, but somewhere deep inside, she knew that it would deeply unsettle her friends if she were to act the way Barry was acting— refusing to believe common sense and storming around in a huff. And if she had reacted to Ronnie’s death as much as Barry reacted to things, nobody would ever have believed she was capable of holding up to adversity. STAR Labs was better than almost anywhere else. But it sure wasn’t perfect.

Cisco nudged her. “Caitlin. Tests. Jay. I get he’s hot, but stop staring.”

He really had no clue. How could Cisco imagine that she’d be looking at anyone that way so soon after Ronnie had died? Then again, it was better than him tiptoeing around the topic of anything related to hot guys. Or even heat in general. She shot him an angry glance. He returned it with a solemn, concerned gaze. _He's testing the waters--trying to see if I’m okay for real._ Typical Cisco--that the bar for “okay” was “considering a new romantic relationship.” How was she ever going to get him off her back? At this point, all Caitlin wanted was for everyone to stop being sympathetic and telling her how amazing Ronnie was. (She knew that Ronnie had been amazing; after all, she was the one who had married him, not them.) For the week it had taken her to find a new apartment after Ronnie’s death, she hadn’t been able to go thirty seconds without verbose condolences, heart-to-heart talks, or random but well-meaning gifts being showered on her from people she didn’t even know, much less move an inch without that motion being scrutinized for signs of mourning. Sometimes, she had felt more like a circus sideshow than anything else— _Come one, come all! Gather round, step right up to see the widow of the man who saved Central City! Just twenty-seven years old, married for twenty-five minutes! Step right up, step right up!_  
So maybe it was that comment from Cisco more than anything else that had gotten the ball rolling.


	3. Hunter, Cisco

_**Hunter** _

Hunter Zolomon, now alias Jay Garrick, was not enjoying his stay in the STAR Labs pipeline. He had known that Barry wouldn’t trust him immediately. What he hadn’t counted on was incarceration without due process. He needed to get out--and soon. If he was stranded on this Earth for too long, his associates on Earth-2 would riot. Black Siren could only keep Reverb under control for so long. And he was fairly certain Deathstorm would turn out to be the worst sort of trouble. He needed to not be in a cell so he could move freely between Earths.

Footsteps. High heels--Caitlin or the West girl. But it was the middle of the day. Iris West would be working at the paper. So it was Caitlin. He took slow, deep breaths. _Controlling my breathing controls my heartbeat._ He needed to be more confident than this, whether to win her or to defeat the Flash. She was merely human, after all. No need to work himself up. He had practically conquered Earth-2. She shouldn’t make him nervous or unsettled.

That didn’t explain the knot that tied itself in his stomach as she rounded the corner. She smiled at him--the genuine smile, not the fake. There was a small sack slung over her shoulder. Moving towards the control panel, she opened the door of his cell with a few swift keystrokes, then ducked inside. The door shut behind her. Hunter scooted over to make room for her. _I was right. She really doesn’t take care of herself._ “Aren’t you not supposed to be doing that?”

She laughed. He’d heard people say that womens’ laughs sounded like bells. Caitlin’s was more like a glissando on a harpsichord. “I’m not technically supposed to be doing this, and usually I stay out of the cells. But I think Barry’s overreacting. Even if we can’t trust you, locking you up isn’t going to help. Besides, you don’t have powers, so the pipeline is overkill. I’m not afraid of you, at any rate.” She paused, shyly. “Should I be?”

Hunter shook his head. “Of course not, Caitlin. I want to help Barry defeat Zoom. I just wish he’d see that.”

Caitlin nodded solemnly. “Anyway, if we’d known you were coming, we’d have ordered you food, but, obviously, that didn’t happen. So I brought my lunch down, and I thought we could share it.” As she spoke, she unpacked the contents of the bag, laying out a white napkin ( _so she values cleanliness_ ), a few fresh strawberries, an egg salad sandwich cut into triangular halves, and green snap peas with some sort of dip. All in all, he would have pronounced it a perfect appetizer at any Earth-2 restaurant. Still, it was a veritable feast, considering how hungry he’d been for the past few days. She split it up, giving him a slightly bigger portion. He gave her a quizzical look, and she defensively responded, “I’m a doctor, and you’re clearly malnourished.”

They ate in a companionable silence. He couldn’t help but be confused by her. She was so guarded with her friends, and so open and genuine with him. _It’s because we’ve both lost things that made us whole. My speed, her husband._

“So, what do you do on the team? The diploma in your lab said you’re a bioengineer, but you seemed to have a lot of general-practice equipment.” He scooted a little closer, but she didn’t draw back. It was odd to not be feared.

“Oh, I do a little of everything. I was hired by Harrison Wells, who founded the lab, as a bioengineer for a particle accelerator he was building.” He’d known that things weren’t very different on this Earth, but it was strange to hear her mention his old arch-nemesis. “But once Barry became the Flash, I stayed on to help. So I alternate between patching up his injuries, running analyses, and bioengineering any substance he needs. What sorts of people were on your team?”

 _Well, I can hardly tell her about my network!_ “I didn’t have any real allies, nobody I worked with closely. Being the Flash didn’t come with a team, for me. I mostly did my own work, but if I needed any help, I asked for it on a limited basis.”

She nodded. “So you never had someone to trust. It sounds lonely.” Caitlin folded up the napkin, putting it back in her bag. “Did people trust you? Barry locking you in a cell must be a bit of a change from being a city’s hero.”

He smiled ruefully, watching her until he saw an answering gleam in her eye. “Well, my story’s hardly very credible-sounding.”

Caitlin suddenly leaned over and put her hand on his gently. “I believe you.” A thrill ran through Hunter. _She cares._ He hadn’t been quite sure.

Cisco’s voice came through over the intercom. “Hey, Cait, can I get you up here? The test algorithm on those culture cells came through, and I don’t know what to do next.”

She got up, hastily. “Don’t tell anyone I came. I’ll try and convince Barry to let you out. Goodbye, Jay.” He nodded assent. There was a warm pressure on his shoulder, and then she was gone, pelting down the hall.

Hunter leaned back against the wall of his cell. He wanted to savor these moments, unfolding her personality layer by layer. And yet he also couldn’t wait to hear her say she loved him, to kiss her for the first time. Over and over in his mind, he replayed her hand on his. _I believe you._ The way her deep eyes looked into his, walls dropped around black pools. Her whole self had shone in her face in that moment, trusting, beautiful, and kind.

He couldn’t let her distract him from the task at hand...

No, that wasn't true. He was Zoom. Surely the fastest man in the multiverse could fight two battles at once.

* * *

  ** _Cisco_**

What was wrong with Caitlin? No, scratch that--was Caitlin so romance-deprived that she would flirt with Jay mere months after losing Ronnie? And the guy wasn’t even close to Ronnie for looks, personality, awesome superpowers--anything! Caitlin was wrecking the love of her life’s memory for a thirty-fiveish, blond ex-speedster with the charisma of stale bread. How in the name of Yoda had he done it? What quality did Jay Garrick have that made Caitlin open up to him when she had ignored all other attempts to get her to open up? Was it because he was a physicist? _Do biologists think physicists are smarter than engineers or crime techs?_ Or was the reason Caitlin opened up to Jay and not Cisco because Cisco was an engineer and Ronnie had been an engineer as well? Maybe it was because with Jay, who she barely knew, she could talk vaguely about “losing something she cared about”, but anyone who actually knew her would instantly know what she meant.

It was getting ridiculous. Caitlin was one of the smartest, most independent people he knew. Did she really feel so insecure that she needed a boyfriend to stroke her ego? Because that was ludicrous. He had failed as a bestie. Caitlin Snow, the woman who he knew better than his own brother, the cool older sister he had never had, couldn’t get the life help she needed from him. He thought of all Cait had done for him: been kind to him his first day on the job, bailed him out that one time his car got towed, given him her lunch when he forgot his. She was an ear he could trust, and she had listened to everything, from his ramblings about hot women he had been afraid to ask out, to his incoherent sobs after he escaped from Captain Cold and Heatwave. When he had fought with his parents over the STAR Labs job and been kicked out of the house, she brought cots to the lab so they could both sleep down there--she had even risked her job to cover for him whenever he needed to skip work, be it for Dante’s piano recitals, or on the days four months ago when his suspicions of Harrison Wells made it impossible for him to look at the man’s face.

What had Cisco done for Caitlin in return?

There never had been much of anything, really--try to make her smile in the months after the accelerator explosion, try to remind the others to listen to her more often. He’d never seen Cait vulnerable enough that he felt okay helping her, but what if she’d needed it this whole time? He remembered working late one night on the particle accelerator, his fourth year in, when Ronnie and Caitlin had just begun to date. He’d never seen Caitlin so happy. Just that day, Ronnie had swapped out her lunch with super-spicy Pad Thai (explaining that her limited tolerance range for new foods limited his date options). If anyone else had tried something like that on her, she’d have shut the container up and gone without lunch that day, but she ate every bite of that meal. Jaw-droppingly, she thanked Ronnie later for helping her try something new, even telling him she’d needed to work on getting out of her comfort zone. Cisco remembered asking Ronnie that night how he’d known what Caitlin needed when she never said she needed anything. Ronnie had laughed long and hard from his perch on the scaffolding. “My mom likes to say that Cait and I are fire and ice. I’m the needy one, not her. We’re about as opposite as anyone could imagine--you know that--but the one thing we have in common is pride. She says she can take care of herself, and she generally can. Ninety-nine percent of the time, you gotta leave her be. The other one percent, you gotta watch her and see what she needs. Cait’s been thinking so much about this project, and she was doing that thing--you know, where she forgets she has a life and stresses herself out over words too long for anyone to understand. She'll never admit she needs to be reminded that the world spins--she’d hardly be Caitlin if she did--and if you phrase helping her as helping her, she won’t touch your help with a ten-foot pole. But you phrase it as helping you, Cait can’t refuse. You gotta be persistent, though. It takes a lot of trying.”

Had Cisco forgotten the other one percent so often that Caitlin had needed to ask for help herself? Or worse, had he given up on even trying to help Caitlin?

When Ronnie had died the first time (as he’d told Cisco later) he’d been sure Caitlin would move on from him. The saddest thing for him, coming back to her, was that he’d known that she needed him, that the ordeal had hurt her irreparably. He’d made Cisco promise, mock-solemnly, that if anything else were to happen to him, Cisco would help Caitlin move on. “7 billion people out there. Don’t let her be alone. I mean it, Cisco.” So was it actually a good thing that Caitlin had befriended Jay? Would Ronnie want this?

No way. Ronnie would hate Jay Garrick. He was blander than Caitlin’s food preferences. Ronnie had had this infectious, crackling energy: whenever he came into a room, everyone in it was drawn to him. He’d been alive in a way that Jay Garrick never was. Nothing against the guy, but if Barry lost his speed, he’d find a way to get it back. Jay just moped, beaten down by a decade-long war that he’d never had a chance of winning. Ronnie had seen adversity in his short life and triumphed over it. He’d never once lost his spirit; he’d stared Death in the face and laughed. If Jay was a quitter who had abandoned his whole world to an unspeakable evil, was he ever going to be able to save Caitlin Snow from herself? Everyone needs to be saved once in a while, and it takes bravery to do it. If Cisco was sure of one thing about Jay Garrick, it was that he was a coward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to be clear: Hunter is an unreliable narrator. He's kind of meant to be a textbook case of entitlement. The way he thinks about her is creepy.  
> I'll update a chapter-ish at a time, every 3 or so days. Next week: When Jesse met Harry. Also, Caitlin and Cisco are nervous. See you then, and remember to comment, etc!


	4. Jesse, Cisco, Harry

_**Jesse** _

Jesse was getting better at fighting. Today, she’d singlehandedly stopped Weather Wizard from escaping Iron Heights. She’d figured out how to access the CCPD’s metahuman files so that she was on top of every threat, from giant sharks to shape-shifters. And she was getting hurt less seriously, thanks to her new body armor. _So_ , Jesse wondered, _why is Caitlin so upset?_

At the moment, the subject of her reverie was washing beakers with a murderous efficiency. Jesse tried to remember if there was anything she’d done wrong, but she came up empty. Striding over to where her friend was in danger of smashing medicine bottles beyond possible repair, Jesse heard Caitlin muttering. “Idiot...coward...Jackson...lives...balance...” That was odd. Jesse didn’t know anyone named Jackson.

“Was it Andrew Jackson, Michael Jackson, or Jackson Pollock?” she teasingly queried.

“What?"

“The person who made you so mad. Andrew Jackson, Jackson Pollock, Michael Jackson, or a heretofore unknown Jackson?”

“I’m not mad.”

“I’m a magical fairy.”

“Really?”

“I was being sarcastic.”

“Really?”

“What, you think I actually am a fairy?”

“I was being sarcastic, too.”

Jesse settled herself more comfortably on the couch. “So, how did Barry travel far enough back in time for you to meet Andrew Jackson?”

“He didn’t. It’s not important.” Caitlin returned to the washing-up.

“Is your boyfriend’s full name Jay Jackson Garrick?”

Caitlin went on the defensive. “No, it isn’t, because I don’t _have_ a boyfriend.”

“Okay, ‘fess up. I want Jackson’s identity and relation to you, or I’ll ask Cisco. And I’ll tell him about the drones.”

Caitlin laughed. “You wouldn’t. If you did, I’d stop stitching you up.”

“And lose the pleasure of my company? _And_ your only opportunity for girl talk??”

Silence. Jesse’s stomach plummeted in guilt. _Stupid, stupid, stupid, to remind her how lonely she is! You don’t deserve friends if you treat the one you’ve got this way!_

Timidly, she looked up at Caitlin, who was lost in a gloomy abstraction. The water was filling up in the sink now, but Caitlin didn't seem to notice as it soaked her sleeves.

“Hey, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it that way. I value you so much, and I would never, ever want to stop being your friend. You’re the best friend I’ve got, Caitlin, and that comment was really insensitive.”

Caitlin turned and gazed at her from a million miles away. “Jefferson Jackson is the replacement for Ronnie. The new Firestorm. And he doesn’t want it. The gift that saved Ronnie’s life, and this--kid--refused it. And now he’s accepted it, because now what Ronnie--was--had--is _good enough_ for him. But if he hadn’t _graciously agreed_ to become Firestorm, Stein would have died and who knows how many other innocent people, and it would have been _my fault_ , because for once in my life I couldn’t shut up! I told him what I thought of him, and nearly ruined everything! I just couldn’t take it anymore! And now Stein’s gone, and there’s nothing left to remind me--and nobody understood, and I had to smile when they flew off--Ronnie’s partner, and this bratty kid who doesn’t deserve his legacy! What is wrong with me? Why can’t I move on and let him go? _Why am I not okay_?”  
Everything came together for Jesse then in a blinding moment of insight--Jay, Caitlin’s loneliness, the drones, Caitlin helping Jesse fight crime. It all fit together, and there was nothing Jesse could say that would help her friend. Caitlin began to sob, and Jesse handed her a fistful of tissues, patting her arm. Together, the women waited for morning.  
“Thanks,” Caitlin said as the sun came up and she drew a shaky, sob-free breath. “I needed that.”

* * *

_** Cisco ** _

_Well, these are definitely three of the weirdest weeks of my life_ , thought Cisco. First there’d been Captain Cold and Golden Glider's escape from their abusive father, then there’d been Stein’s brush with death and Caitlin’s epic meltdown, and now Cisco stared across a workstation at the man who had murdered him--well, the alternate-universe duplicate of the man who had murdered him in an alternate timeline. Harrison Wells, fiftyish and still spry, stared directly back at Cisco as if to challenge him. _How is this guy walking_? Cisco knew, of course, that Thawne had been able to walk, that he had faked his paralysis. Logically, an alternate universe Harrison Wells who had never encountered Thawne would be able to walk, because he never would have been in that car accident. Still, it was freaky to see the guy on his own two feet. Across the workstation, Caitlin twitched nervously, her eyes darting nonstop between Wells and Jay, who had brought his full 6’ 4” bulk to bear in staring down the older man. Clearly, these two did not get along. As Cisco watched, Jay moved ever so slightly in front of Caitlin.

Cisco had to admit that in the three weeks since he had met Jay Garrick, he had learned not to underestimate the guy. The day he’d decided Jay was a coward, Jay had run out at Sand Demon in his Flash suit to distract the meta from Barry. Cisco had then privately classified Jay as stupid, only for Jay to spend the next week single-handedly stabilizing the breach between Earth 1 and 2. Dude defied labels. So Cisco Ramon, genius judge of people, had been forced to recognize that he had misjudged Jay Garrick. It was humiliating, but he couldn't win all the time. Jay was an all-around great guy, not the loser Cisco had initially seen. Which made it very noteworthy that Jay couldn’t stand Thaw--Well-- _oh, bother, I’m just going to have to think of him as Harry._

Couldn’t stand was a bit of an understatement. Harry and Jay were acting like aggressive Dobermans, practically bristling with suppressed rage. Cisco could feel the humming tension in the air. Caitlin felt it too, and Cisco saw her move a gentle, steadying hand towards Jay’s elbow. Neither of the men were speaking to each other, as the initial bout of name-calling (Harry called Jay a coward; Jay called Harry a callous liar with no respect for human life) was over. Instead, both were issuing opposing directives to Barry in the loudest voices they could muster while glaring at each other with vitriolic eyes. Apparently, there was a meta named Dr. Light on the loose ( _seriously, names on Earth-2 suck_ ), and Jay wanted Barry to talk to her, but Harry thought that talking was pointless, as apparently she’d use the opportunity to kill Barry.

Cisco settled in. This was going to be a long argument.

* * *

 

**_ Harry _ **

Harrison Wells was nervous. He’d thought he was all done meeting the people wronged by the man who possessed his alternate-earth doppelgänger, and he certainly hadn’t enjoyed running into Jay Garrick, of all people. But when Barry Allen, the man he had come all this way to meet, had told him that his duplicate, this Thawne-Wells, had a daughter, Wells had felt an invisible hand tug something in his chest. _It might not be Jesse_. But he knew that it was, as sure as he knew the Periodic Table.

He stared at the door. His heart began to beat. Deep breaths weren’t helping. Harrison Wells clenched his fists, relaxed them, and composed his face into a faintly sardonic expression. He knocked twice, then stuck his hands in his pockets to hide the trembling, leaning back nonchalantly against a post.

He couldn’t stop himself from gasping as the door opened. He could barely stop himself from running to grab his daughter in his arms. Another man’s daughter. This wasn’t his Jesse.

She had gasped, too, but not in a good way, and she hadn’t restrained herself from running towards him. But Jesse had pinned him to the side of the house by his arm and leveled a butcher knife at his throat, which was a far cry from the reunion Wells hoped to have one day with his daughter. This Jesse ( _Jesse’? Jesse-2? Thawne-Jesse? I'll need something to call the girl_ ) growled menacingly at him.

“Tell me why I shouldn’t kill you, Thawne.”

Damn Barry Allen. He had promised to call ahead to prepare her. Wells began to speak, but his throat had gone dry and sandy. He took a second and swallowed. The sooner she let him up and offered him a glass of water, the better.

“Well, guess you didn’t get the memo. I’m not Thawne.” He kept his tone of voice light.

“That’s what Cait said. I’m not convinced.”

Cait...Cait...which one was that? _Oh, the nervous brunette who tried to stop Garrick from punching me._

“Think about it, Jesse. On my Earth, Jay Garrick is the Flash, not Barry Allen, so Thawne would have no reason to possess me. I created the accelerator all on my own, but I don’t exactly hang out with the Flash for fun. No point to possessing me.” _That was good--reassuring, without leaving any room for argument_

She lowered the butcher knife warily. There was something hunted in this girl’s eyes that made him want to both cradle her in his arms and run far away from this Earth to save his Jesse from ever wearing that face.

“Come in. Sit down. That’s what you should say right now. I’m not expecting you to call me Dad, since that wouldn’t even be true, but a friendly gesture seems to be called for.”

Jesse shrank back. This wasn’t going to do. Wells needed results. If he couldn’t get everyone affiliated with the STAR Labs team to like him, then nobody would trust him. And if they didn’t trust him, he couldn’t save his Jesse.

He had promised Tess. On his wife’s deathbed, he had promised to look after their daughter. Harrison had known then that he would do whatever it took to keep his baby safe. Nothing had changed since.

“C’mon, are you slow? And here I thought they called you Jesse Quick--”

He instantly regretted it. Harrison Wells watched the one sight no father wants to see--his daughter slamming the door in his face.

_Well, that did NOT go as planned._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next installment: Jesse is NOT okay, and Hunter has a mission for Caitlin. I'd love to know what people think of this fic so far!


	5. Jesse, Caitlin

Jesse leaned against the door, panting. _Jesse Quick...Jesse Quick..._ she curled herself into a little ball and gripped herself tightly, rocking back and forth, back and forth, and still the throbbing pulse in her head would not subside. Her hands were streaked with her own snot and tears. _JesseQuickJesseQuickJesseQuickthat’snothimnothimnothimnot…_

Looking down with a curious detachment, Jesse saw that she had curled her fingernails into her palm so hard that she drew blood. The stabbing pain was her anchor to reality.

Then she was cast adrift.

_She walked in the room timidly. For a split second, he didn’t see her, and as he turned to look at her she saw a sneer on his face. As he recognized her, the bottom dropped out of his sarcastic expression. Jesse’s father looked at her with an indescribable tenderness._

_“Dad?” Her voice quavered expectantly, almost cracking. She was worried her bottom lip might start trembling._

_“Jess.” His voice was almost hoarse. He moved urgently to the wall of his cell. “Jess. Thank God.”_

_“Dad. You are my dad, right?”_

_He spoke quickly, all in a rush, as if afraid she was going to cut him off. “Yes, of course I’m your father, Jesse. Listen to--”_

_He subsided as she began to speak. “Alright, dad, answer me. If you ever told me the truth once”--here she had taken a shaky breath and clutched the handrail for support--”tell me now. Is it true?”_

_“Is what true? Define your variables, Jess.”_

_“Are you from the future? Did you kill Barry’s mother? All these things they’ve been telling me, and showing me the footage of you talking about it--are they true? I have to know that they’re not true, Dad, okay, and then we can work on getting you out of here.”_

_There was a long pause. He moved even closer to the glass, straining to reach her. His mouth opened, and no sound came out. He was crying, and Jesse couldn’t bear to look at his face any longer. She began to count squares on the cell wall behind him._

_“I’m so sorry.”_

_The words hung in the air for a brief, shining moment. Then they hit Jesse and shattered her. She recoiled from the man in the cage._

_“Are you my dad?”_

_“Jesse, I raised you, I watched you grow up--”_

_“Are you the one who fathered me? Yes or no?”_

_“Jess--”_

_“ **Yes or no!** ”_

_Quietly, after a long while: “No.”_

_“Why was I not enough? Why did you have to go back? If you loved me, why did you need Barry?”_

_“Jess, listen. You have to listen to me, please. I love you more than anything. You are my daughter, not Harrison Wells’. He never spoke to you, not a word. You are biologically his daughter, but in every other way you are my daughter, and I would never, ever abandon you or hurt you, but you don’t understand--”_

_“Then explain, Thawne.”_

_He slumped back, defeated. “I can’t.”_

_“Then you are not my father. My dad could explain everything. There was nothing he couldn’t do.”_

_“Please. I **am** your father. When I get out of this, I promise, I will make this up to you. I will win back your trust. Jess, you’re everything to me--”_

_“You’re nothing to me, Thawne.” She turned away and walked out of his view, head held high. As she rounded the corner, she froze, unable to propel herself any farther, and then Jesse Chambers Wells collapsed in a wretched, sobbing heap, mourning the fall of her idol.  
Fifteen feet away, she could hear him, speaking raggedly and unevenly. “Jesse, come back. You’re my little girl and I love you. Run on home, Jesse Quick...”_

_The door to the pipeline closed behind her, and Jesse never saw or heard Eobard Thawne again._

* * *

 

**_ Caitlin _ **

Caitlin wasn’t even sure what to think about anything anymore. Last year, when Barry told her what he and Cisco had learned, she had secretly imagined that some of Harrison Wells had existed inside Eobard Thawne. She had pretended to herself that everything she respected, admired, and loved about her old mentor was the “real” Harrison Wells, and that everything else, the things she despised about the man who had caused Ronnie’s death, was Thawne. But today, Caitlin had met the real Harrison Wells, and realized that she had never seen him before in her life.

She heard Jay round the corner. Knocking on the frame of the open door, he entered to hover awkwardly over her workstation.  
“Hi, Jay.” Putting the final touches on the coding for the test she was running, Caitlin casually spun her chair around to face Jay. She miscalculated the force involved, of course, and ended up spinning around and around in a dizzying circle. He reached out to steady her, smiling--he had been smiling a lot more, recently. Caitlin had been smiling more often, as well; having Jay to worry about had taken her out of her own problems. He wasn’t Ronnie--she didn’t feel the magnetic pull that her dead love had exerted over her--but he was her friend, and that was enough.

“Hi. Can we talk?”

 _Oh no._ Of course Jay would want to talk about what happened in the stakeout van. “It’s not a problem, really,” she began.

“Oh. Right. That’s not what I meant.”

“Oh.”

“Cait, I need your help. I trust you, and I didn’t have anyone to trust back on my Earth.” He moved closer to her, so close she could hear his breath: taken by surprise, she unconsciously shrank away.

“What do you need? Tests? Are you okay?”

Jay grinned and let out a breath he didn’t seem to have realized he was holding. “Yeah, I’m okay. It’s--about Wells.”

“He’s a jerk. Don’t let him get to you.”

Jay put a hand on hers. “Do you trust me, Cait?” She nodded. “Enough to do what I tell you, without telling anyone else? Not even your friends?”

“Why?”

“I need you to keep an eye on Wells for me. He’s dangerous, Cait. Him coming here--none of his story adds up with what I know about him. Wells was always out for himself on my Earth. He used the metahuman crisis--which he caused--to make a fortune off a line of meta-detection tech.”

Jay paused, and didn’t seem to be continuing, so Caitlin prompted him with a quiet “That’s awful.”

“If he has come to your Earth, he’s up to no good. We need to be able to keep an eye on him without letting him know anyone’s on to him. I can’t do it, because he hates and distrusts me just as much as I hate and distrust him. You can. We have to stop him before he hurts Barry and who knows who else.”

“Why can’t I tell Barry and Cisco?”

“Do you really think Barry and Cisco can play the part of trusting him? Do you think they can con him--the smartest man on my Earth?”

“They knew about W--Thawne...”

“From what you’ve told me, they bungled that. My Earth can’t afford for them to fail. We have to keep this just between us, or he’ll begin to suspect.” Jay’s tone was adamant, and his hand on hers was both reassuring and restrictive.

“Jay, I don’t like lying.”

“They’ve lied to you more than you’d be lying to them. And it’s not just to save them, but to save my Earth. But if you don’t want to do it, you don’t have to. I would never put you in a position that makes you uncomfortable. Just, please, forget I mentioned it--” He trailed off, leaning back from her, but keeping his hand heavily over hers. Caitlin took a deep breath.

“No, Jay, I--I will.”

His face lit up. “You will?”

“Yes. I just--it was just that, well, I know how it feels to be lied to.”

“This isn’t even a lie. I promise, you won’t have to lie to them.” He squeezed her hand, then let it go.

“Just omit a very important truth?” she teased, laughing. Jay laughed with her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next week: The plan goes into action. Fights ensue, in more than just one sense.


	6. Caitlin, Cisco

_**Caitlin** _

Caitlin was having a tricky time trying to keep Jay from getting in a full-on fistfight with Wells-2. Shortly after she’d agreed to play double agent, Barry had walked in with a question about his training, something involving the effect created by throwing lightning with one hand, while creating a wind tunnel with the other. Jay had given Caitlin a “we’ll talk later” look as he left with his pupil.

The instant Jay was gone, Caitlin’s stomach had knotted with guilt. She had felt tainted by the fact that she was about to lie to everyone she cared about. It had taken hours of work for her to feel even slightly okay. By the time Jay had come back, she had firmly determined to tell him she couldn’t do it. But he had been so excited, she hadn’t been able to find the heart to refuse him. Jay had perched on the edge of her desk, a smile stretching his face, his legs swinging idly, talking faster and more animatedly than was usual for him.

“So I’ve been thinking. Computers on this Earth seem to work roughly the same as the ones on mine, right?”

“Right, I think.” He didn't seem to be picking up on her reluctance.

“The point being, you guys haven’t figured out how to make them unhackable yet, either.”

“Yeah--”

“So what if we plant a device like they use in presentations, that transfers what’s being viewed on one computer to another computer. Then, we set your computer to take periodic screenshots, like every second. Maybe you could do a code like you do for tests--scanning for anything out of the ordinary. It would tell us a lot of what he’s up to.” Jay finished with an air of self-satisfaction.

“Jay, I’m not sure this is a good idea--”

Jay swung off the table, kneeling down in front of her so that their eyes were almost level. “He’s not going to catch you, Caitlin. And if he does, I won’t let him hurt you, I promise. It would be horrible of me to let you get hurt for a world that wasn’t even yours. That’s why we’ll start with the tech. If we don’t get anything, we’ll try something else, but this way there’s minimal risk to you.”

“How am I going to get the tech on his computer?”

“I’ll distract him.”

“Um, how?” Dr. Wells wasn't going to let Jay talk to him long enough for Caitlin to plug in the tech. He'd just dismiss him brusquely.

“I’ll get in a fistfight with him,” Jay said matter-of-factly, as if he couldn’t understand why she hadn’t thought of it herself.

“Jay!”

“What? It’s the most realistic option, and I’ve been wanting to hit that--guy for a very long time.” Caitlin smothered a giggle before collecting herself.

“No, Jay. That’s not going to work. Barry will break you two up before I have time to plant the tech.” Cisco called this tone her schoolmarm impression, and it usually won most arguments for her. Jay wasn’t buying it, though.

“There’s not a lot of better ways to distract him.” He had a point.

“We’ll figure something out.” She pleaded with her eyes for him to give this up, but he looked away. _Whatever. He knows Wells better than I do. He knows what’ll work._

“I’ll work on the tech. We should plan to make our move when he learns what happened with Doctor Light. He’ll try and give Barry a lecture, and while he’s occupied, we strike.” He sounded excited, like a little boy describing the battles fought by his toy soldiers.

“Jay, make sure you use a STAR Labs frequency on the tech. The computers are set to recognize and accept those frequencies.” Was the worry she felt audible in her voice??

“Thanks for the tip, Cait. This is going to work, I promise.” He got up from his knees, gracefully. For a split second, his hand brushed her cheek. She pretended it had been an accident. Without warning, he gripped her face, gently, upturning it towards him and scrutinizing it searchingly. He nodded, as if to himself, turned rapidly on his heel, and was gone.

Now, Caitlin was standing uncomfortably by Jay as Wells lectured everyone involved for failing to stop Dr. Light from attacking her doppelgänger, Linda Park. She felt the tech digging into her closed palm and wondered if she looked shifty to Barry and Cisco. Could they sense that she was keeping a secret?

Jay squeezed her hand comfortingly, pressing the computer attachment deeper into it. Then, with very little warning, he launched himself at Wells, landing a magnificent right hook on the other man’s jaw.

Caitlin quietly reached behind her and plugged the attachment onto the underside of Dr. Wells’ computer. _I'm sorry._

It took a while for Barry to separate the two combatants, but eventually everyone got down to the business of trying to find Dr. Light. Jay put a warm hand on Caitlin’s shoulder for the briefest instant before leaving her alone with her anxiety. _Dr. Wells is going to use his computer and he’ll see it and he’ll tell them and I’ll get kicked out and they’ll look at me like I betrayed them._ She closed her eyes as Dr. Wells announced, with the air of a magician about to saw a woman in half, that he could find Light with just her helmet.

“All we have to do...is give it to _him_.”

How did speed powers equate to being able to find a meta? What was Wells going to do to Barry? And...would it involve his computer? She opened her eyes to find everyone staring...at Cisco.

Cisco. Her best friend was a metahuman.

And he hadn’t told her.

* * *

_** Cisco ** _

_Oh, great._ Caitlin was literally the last person Cisco wanted to see right now. He felt the guilt building inside his stomach. No, that was the nachos. He’d known he shouldn’t have asked for four times the cheese.

She grabbed his arm--holy Spock was she stronger than she looked--and marched him into his lab, shoving him down into a chair.

“You’re a meta.” That was the thing about Caitlin. She always got right to the point. Now, she paced in front of him like a caged beast.

“Well, see, my powers were suppressed...”

She swung to a halt, facing him coolly. “Yes, and being killed in the alternate timeline was enough of a shock to awaken them. Like a catalyst. Remember? I presented that theory to Dr.--Professor Thawne.”

“It’s okay to call him Wells once in a while, Cait.”

Caitlin took a deep breath and closed her eyes. When she opened them, Cisco saw steel in their depths, but her voice was conversational as she spoke. “How long have you known?”

“Just over a month. I mean, before that, there were the time-displacement visions, but these are different.”

“Were you ever going to tell me?”

“I was! I just couldn’t find the right time--but Caitlin, I swear I would have told you. Eventually.”

She leaned back against a desk, her mouth in a tight line. “I...don’t know what to say.”

“Is that a good thing?” _Jokes dissolve tension._ Caitlin didn’t smile. This was very bad. “I’m sorry I lied to you, Cait. I just didn’t want you to think I was a freak. For what--for what he did to me. I was scared--he said it was a gift he’d given me, he made it sound like they were going to make me like him, and I tried to ignore it, but my visions always came true, and everything was so complicated, please--” Cisco knew he was rambling, and he could feel his voice rising. His fingers began to twist at the edge of his shirt.

“You could have talked to me. I would have understood.”

“You weren’t there!”

Caitlin’s jaw set. “I mean when I got back, Cisco.”

“You never _came_ back! I mean, why would I trust you when you didn’t trust me?”

“Trust you with what?” _How does she not know what I mean?_

“You know what.” He stated it flatly.

“If I knew, I wouldn’t be asking--”

“Ronnie, okay?” Cisco could feel his face burning. “Ronnie _died_ , and then all of a sudden it’s like he never existed! And you wouldn’t talk to me--Caitlin, I wanted to help you!”

“You think I don’t remember that Ronnie existed! What do you want me to do, build a shrine to him? Break down crying over photos of him nightly?” Her tone had turned dangerously icy.

“I wanted you to trust me enough that you could let me help you through it. After who knows how many years--haven’t I earned that, Caitlin? How many times have I lied to you? Once!” He got up from his chair to face her, pleading with his eyes for her to make this better, to fix the ragged hole between them.

“I wasn’t lying about Ronnie.” Even now, she whispered his name.

This was getting ridiculous. “Okay, Cait, you were either lying about Ronnie, or a heartless robot.”

“You do _not_ get to tell me how I’m supposed to grieve. How is it your job to decide if I have a heart?”

“Caitlin! What I’m saying is that you wouldn’t even let me see you were grieving! You plastered on this fake smile and went about your day, and you wouldn’t trust me enough to talk to me, because--I don’t even know why!”

“Why do you consider yourself entitled to seeing me hurt?” She had sat down on the desk, and she spoke quietly, but her head was still held high. Something in Cisco snapped, and he needed to make her upset, to give her an inkling of how she had made him worry.

“Because I’m your _friend_ , Caitlin. Because I always trusted you.”

“Until now, apparently.”

“Yes--I didn't want to tell you! Because if you didn’t trust me with your grief, then I didn't want to trust you with my fear and my powers and my _stupid_ worries.” Her expression remained guarded—

“Cisco, there was nothing I could have said or done. No words, nothing.”

“Yes, there was! You could have cried--we could have had dinner at his favorite places--you could have come to the memorial service--you could have come when I invited you for the 4th of July so you wouldn’t have to spend it alone--you could have stayed, Caitlin!” For a split second, she cast her eyes downward. _Now she feels guilty_ , Cisco thought maliciously, even as he realized that he was better than this.

“I needed time. Away from everything that reminded me of him. And just because I don’t like feeling vulnerable isn’t enough reason for you to decide I’ve not trusted you enough. If I don’t want to bare the hole he left, it is not my job to satisfy your curiosity and insecurity!” Her tone had become defensive, and she stared at him with the slightest hint of venom. He instantly regretted his words.

“Okay. O--okay. So--considering all that--can you blame me for hiding my powers from you?” _Just forgive me, Caitlin, and we can end this._ She must have chosen to ignore his wordless plea.

“You never hated being vulnerable as much as I did. You always preferred getting help.” That was a direct hit. Just because Cisco messed up a lot didn’t mean he liked always needing help! _Does she think I liked having to tell Wells that my parents had practically disowned me?_

“You know, let’s not talk about getting help, or I’ll say something nasty about Jay that I’ll regret.”

Caitlin recoiled, rising to her feet. Her cheeks had flushed red, and she was trembling slightly. Something secret and hidden and awful inside Cisco enjoyed seeing her like this, wanted to grind her under his heel until she was a sobbing wreck. “Fine. I miss Ronnie. Okay? And Jay isn’t him. He’s someone who has also had half himself torn away, and so we can help each other without having to talk.” He shushed the monster in him. _She’s still my friend, and I don’t want her to get hurt. Not by me, and certainly not by Jay Garrick, who she seems to have picked over me._

“Caitlin, you’ve known him for a few weeks at best!”

“I know.”

“Do you?”

“Yes.”

“Fine. If things go bad, don’t come back and say you’re sorry.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a hard chapter to write, but I felt like Caitlin was way too cool with Cisco trusting Stein over her. Next time: Caitlin is upset, and Jesse has a visitor. Thanks so much for reading!


	7. Caitlin, Jesse

**_ Caitlin _ **

Caitlin took the stairs to the basement three at a time, swallowing hard and blinking often so she didn’t cry. _Why can’t Cisco understand?_

One thing was for sure--continuing to lie to him would only make things worse. She had to tell Jay that she’d stop spying on Wells, and then she could make things up with Cisco. Suddenly, she felt an impact as she rounded the corner.

“Caitlin!”

“Jay...”

He grabbed her elbow and pulled her inside the doorway to a storage closet, looking to the left and right for passers-by before closing and locking the door. Caitlin sat down on a box of copper wiring, feeling incongruous and awkward. He crossed the closet in a stride and sat down beside her. “I’ve been looking all over for you. The link shorted out--it looks like he’s reprogrammed his computer to destroy any tech with a STAR Labs frequency. If he’s programmed it to send him a notification when it does something like that, then he knows we planted it.”

“Jay, I can’t do this. I don’t mind spying on Wells, especially if it might keep everyone safe. But I can’t lie to Barry, and especially not to Cisco. Not after learning wha--who he is. I’m sorry, I know that your world is at stake. And logically, I know I should. But I can’t. What if he really does want to help Barry stop Zoom?” Her hands wandered uncertainly to the edge of her skirt and picked at a loose thread.

Jay looked at her gravely, with an understanding in his eyes, catching her wandering hands and imprisoning them in his. “It’s okay, Cait. I’ll find some other way if you can’t.” She relaxed, letting her head sag onto his shoulder. He moved an arm around her, pulling her in close to him. For a moment, Caitlin tensed. _Ronnie!_ She squirmed briefly, but his grip was implacable. There was no way out, and so she sighed and let him hold her. _Forgive me, love._

Caitlin felt a sudden surge of pity for Jay. It was his Earth at risk, after all, and she had promised to help. Giving up now was a betrayal of everything Jay had fought for, just as much a betrayal as lying to Cisco and Barry. Would she rather see her friends die, or save their lives, even if they hated her for it? _Somebody’s got to do what Barry’s not morally comfortable with. Not all the bad guys can be talked down in the light of day, in front of an adoring populace._

And then, there was the fact that Barry and Cisco had never been fully honest or trusting with her. She didn’t know why they hadn’t told her about Dr.--Thawne, but it was ludicrous of Cisco to pretend that because she had grieved privately, he had a right to keep his powers a secret. Leaving friendship aside, he should have told the team, in the interests of basic safety. What if something went wrong? And as for Barry, he never told anyone anything. It was a well-known fact around the lab. 

An entire Earth of people, real people, with real lives--one of them was another Caitlin--was at stake. What right did she have to kill all of those people for the sake of her own conscience?

She looked up at Jay. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me. I can still help.”

“I’m glad. I wasn’t sure what I’d do without you.” His hand stroked her hair rhythmically. “Now, here’s what we need to do...”

* * *

**_ Jesse _ **

Jesse didn’t know what to think when Cisco knocked on her door, drenched through to the skin, clutching an inside-out umbrella like a lifeline. She had been dressed in her costume when she heard him yelling at her through the door, so she had thrown a nightgown on over her body armor, rumpled up her hair, and answered his knock, yawning as convincingly as she could.

“Cisco? Wha--whahsgoinon? 

“Oh, cut it out, Jesse. Nobody wears boots to bed.” Cisco strode up to her, a dark scowl forming on his brow.

“Wha? Thamustbe why _(yawn)_ I couldn’t sleep.”

Cisco’s jaw hardened, as he slapped a small chip on the table. She picked it up, curiously. “Why are you spying on your dad’s doppelgänger, Jesse?”

“What?”

“Oh, good, you’re awake now. I found this, shorted out, on the bottom of Dr. Wells’ computer. It’s a wireless linker, designed to transfer images from one screen to another.” He leaned across the table at her, resting his weight on his fists.

“I didn’t do that!” Cisco’s expression didn’t soften: he didn’t believe her.

“Really? Because who else has any reason to? Face it, Jesse, you did it.” That was specious logic, but Jesse knew informing Cisco of that would only make him madder.

“Cisco, will you just believe me?”

“Why? It’s fairly clear you did it!”

“Okay, Cisco, cut it out. I was Eobard Thawne’s daughter. I know how to tell when someone’s mad at me, and also how to tell when they’re really mad at someone else. Who are you mad at?”

“Jesse, you’re changing the subject.” He shifted his weight uncomfortably. _Does he realize how stupid he seems right now?_

“Yes, because it’s a stupid subject, since I didn’t _do_ it!”

“Fine. If you didn’t do it, I’m sorry. I’ve had a really, really rough day.” Cisco flopped back onto the couch, tilting his head back as if he no longer had the strength to hold it up.

“Yeah? You wanna tell me about it? I’m theoretically under house arrest for trying to save people from evil metahumans, so, yeah, I’ve got time.”

“I got in a big fight with Caitlin.” He mumbled this softly, wearily, barely moving a muscle. _How hard does Barry work them?_

“What? Why?”

“Jesse...you met...um...your...”

“Biological father's doppelgänger? Yeah, he’s lovely.” Cisco straightened up, uttering a harsh bark of a laugh. 

“He told everyone...that I’m a meta. And Caitlin was upset that I lied to her.”

“Oh. What are your powers--I mean, are you two gonna make it up?” _Congrats, Jesse. That was an embarrassing slip._

Cisco began to rub at his forehead. “I...said some stuff I really regretted. And I told her that I didn’t want to be friends again if Jay dumped her...I was just so mad because nothing I said was hurting her. She just stood there and talked in the same tone of voice...as if what I said--the things I’d felt--didn’t matter.”

Another knock sounded on the door. Oh no. _Caitlin's coming to see if I need patching up_.

Jesse leapt up nervously. “Just a minute. I’ll get that. Probably, it’s my new raincoat. Just a _little_ late for the start of the season, huh?” Cisco laughed. Jesse cracked the door open.

Behind it was Caitlin. There was a long silence.

Caitlin awkwardly improvised, “I was wondering if you needed help. You’d said you wanted me to look at...your back...see if there was permanent damage from all the crimefighting you...used to do...”

“Hey, Caitlin, I’m kind of busy. You wanna come back in an hour?”

Caitlin nodded and left. Jesse turned back to Cisco. “Hey, sorry about that.” But he was glaring at her now in earnest. _Boy, he really can look mean when he wants!_

“Nobody wears boots to bed, Jesse. Nobody wears prototype body armor under a nightgown, either. I wondered who took that, but I sure didn’t think it was Caitlin. You know, I am _not_ mad that you’ve been fighting crime. I’m mad you’ve been lying about it.”

Jesse plopped down next to Cisco. “Okay. Cisco, you need to make it up with Caitlin.”

“You _really_ should not be giving me advice right now, Jesse.”

“Fine. You two keep doing this. But you are not gonna be friends again until one of you swallows your pride and grows up. You guys have been friends for ages. If you value that, figure it out.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time: Caitlin gets in an accident, and Cisco gets attacked. Don't worry--everything WILL be okay! :)


	8. Caitlin, Cisco

_**Caitlin** _

Jay found Caitlin struggling along the side of the road half an hour after she’d left Jesse’s. She’d swerved to avoid a pedestrian who must have been red-green colorblind, skidded through a puddle of standing water, careened over some broken bottles that slashed her tire to bits, and landed with one tire in a ditch and another one flat. Grimly, she’d hopped out of her car and begun the long walk to the nearest mall.

It had been the coldest, wettest, windiest fifteen minutes of her life when she heard a voice behind her and felt a gentle tap on her shoulder. “Cait? What are you doing?” She hadn’t noticed that he'd started to call her Cait.

Caitlin turned to face him. “I’m sorry, Jay, I got in an accident, and my car’s in a ditch, and I don’t think I can manage the tire, so I’m going to walk to the mall and call roadside services, because I don’t know the number, so I need Wi-fi.”

He laughed. “How do you always manage to find the hardest and most dangerous way to solve a problem? I’ll change the tire. For a genius biologist, Cait, you’re not much of a logical thinker.” 

“Sure, Jay. Unless you have someplace you’ve got to be...?” For answer, he grabbed her hand and practically sprinted in the direction of her fallen Fiat.

Jay surveyed the wreck briefly before declaring the damage minimal. Then he advanced, dragging the tire jack from her trunk and kneeling down in the mud to begin work. Caitlin hoisted herself up to sit on the hood of the car, but Jay shooed her inside with a peremptory gesture.

“Go sit in the car, Cait, unless you like hypothermia. We can talk perfectly well with you safe. And no, I don’t have anywhere else to be because I was looking for you.”

She ignored his final comment, with its implication that there was a serious matter at hand. Settling into her car’s seat and wringing her hair out, Caitlin didn’t want to hear serious things. Sticking her head out the window so he could hear her, she asked flippantly, “Did the Flash run a roadside assistance service on Earth-2?”

He reached up and nudged her head back into the car. “No, I didn’t. I saved people from getting killed. Considering how eager you seem to be to get pneumonia, I think this counts. Stay dry, or I stop working.”

“What did you want to see me about?”

“Two minutes. Tire jacks seem to work the same here as on my Earth, so I’ll be done then. Once I’m done, we can talk safely.”

She scoffed. “Jay, I’m _literally_ a doctor. I know when I’m in danger of getting sick from cold and rain.”

He ignored her. Caitlin watched his strong, capable hands as he fixed the new tire in place. She began to shiver, and she wrapped herself in her soaked jacket as tightly as she could.

He was done two minutes later, as promised. With significant effort, Caitlin managed to steer the car back onto the road. Jay clambered into the passenger seat, shrugging off his jacket and draping it around her shoulders. She passed it back to him.

“What did you want to talk to me about?”

His expression was graven in stone. “Jacket.”

Caitlin drove onwards in silence for a time. “I have somewhere to be pretty soon.”

“You’re not going anywhere. Call whoever it is and tell them you got in a car accident.”

“It’s kind of important.”

He leaned over and grabbed the wheel from her, pulling them into a parking lot and grinding the car to a halt with the emergency brake. “So is your life.”

Gently, asking her permission with his eyes, Jay took her arms and eased them into the jacket. She gazed past him at the rain hitting the windshield. “What did you want to talk about?”

“Caitlin, I have to leave.”

She turned towards him. “What?”

“Wells suspects me. We’ve got to throw him off the scent. Besides, I can’t stand by while he makes Barry fight Zoom. And the tech didn’t work, so we need a different way of finding what he’s up to.”

“I have a friend in Starling City. She’s CEO of PalmerTech, her name is Felicity Smoak. She’s one of the most gifted hackers on the planet. You name it, she can crack it. Tell her I sent you, she’ll do what you need. And, she probably won’t ask too many questions. She’s familiar with this line of work.”

He smiled widely. “Caitlin, you astound me. Where’d you meet this miraculous friend?”

“She and her boyfriend are close friends of Barry’s. Felicity and Ollie are practically family.”

Jay frowned, tapping his fingers rhythmically on the dashboard. “Maybe not, then. I doubt one of your close friends could ever imagine you keeping secrets. If she were to later ask Barry if the tech worked out--”

“I see what you mean. How long will you be gone?” Caitlin added a silent plea for him to come back soon. He was the only full ally she had at the lab anymore, now that Wells had got Barry under his sway and Cisco wasn’t talking to her.

“I don’t know. But I need you to be strong while I’m gone. Please, stop Barry from fighting Zoom. It’s so important that he saves his strength until he’s well-trained to beat Zoom.” She nodded attentively. “Also, while I’m gone, see if you can get the others suspicious of Wells. Especially Cisco. We need a few red herrings for Wells to go fishing for, and Cisco’s powers could give us valuable information.”

“Jay, Cisco and I aren’t speaking--”

“Just act suspicious of Wells. Suspicion catches.”

Her face must have betrayed the sinking feeling in her stomach. She hated the thought of manipulating Cisco. Jay turned her shoulders gently to face him. Something pressing in his gaze made her cast her eyes downward. Patiently, he waited. “Cait, can I trust you?”

Caitlin looked up and met his eyes steadfastly. “Yes. Always.”

* * *

**_ Cisco _ **

Cisco wasn’t sure why he was so suspicious of Harry. Well, actually, he knew precisely why. The guy was a creepy jerk who had outed him as a metahuman, tried to kill Dr. Light, and convinced Barry onto a suicide mission to fight Zoom. Not only that, but if the last Wells had betrayed them, Cisco thought it was a good idea to keep an eye on this rendition. What Cisco didn’t get, however, was why Caitlin was suddenly jumpy around Wells. Every time Wells walked into a room, Caitlin walked out of it. When she heard his voice, she visibly started. She couldn’t even make eye contact with him. Normally, Cisco would have asked Caitlin what was going on, but the state of things between them made that a non-starter. Besides, it was fairly clear what had happened. Jay had told Caitlin something about Harry, something that made her unable to trust him in any way. Now, whenever Harry had any suggestion--and he had a lot of them--Caitlin countered with what was practically an itemized list of everything that could possibly go wrong if Barry did what Harry wanted. Cisco didn’t know a lot of people more trusting than Caitlin. If she was suspicious of Harry--this suspicious--then there were some very big skeletons in the dude’s closet. And Cisco was going to find all of them.

That was if he could manage to make physical contact with Harry and successfully use his powers, which was a ridiculously slim probability. Especially without Harry catching him. And if Cisco got caught--well, luckily Harry couldn’t vibrate his hand through Cisco’s chest like Thawne had, but he would probably skin Cisco alive to compensate.

Still, if Cisco could find out what Jay had told Caitlin, then he and his friend would be on the same page again. Cisco could have his bestie back. And that was worth the risk of being skinned alive. Even if Caitlin didn’t value their friendship as much as he did. Even if she’d chosen to trust Jay Garrick instead of him. Even if she never forgave him for what he’d said.

 _Wow, I sound so pathetic._ Whatever. With Barry not listening to reason, Cisco had to try and fix things with Caitlin.

He headed into Harry’s lab. He’d been trying various ways of making contact with him all day. First, he’d tried complimenting him on the tech he was creating. A couple times. Harry had seen through him instantly. If Cisco didn’t get something soon, Harry was gonna start making him wear a hazmat suit everywhere he went.

Cisco leaned nonchalantly over Harry’s workstation. “Hey.”

Harry’s eyes remained fixed on the gun he was crafting. “Don’t touch me, Ramon.”

Cisco feigned innocence. “Why would I touch you? I need your help.”

“I thought you were a good engineer. If you can’t get those gauntlets to work, what are you doing on this team?”

“Whoa, man, that stings. Of course the gauntlets work. I finished them half an hour ago.”

Harry snorted. “Then why don’t I hear Linda Park destroying STAR Labs property in the basement?”

Cisco bit his lip. “I need to talk to you about Jesse.” The effect on Harry was shocking. Instantly, Cisco found himself flat on his back on the workstation, with Harry’s knee jutting into his stomach and Harry’s fingers curled around his throat.

“What do you know about Jesse?” Harry was growling now, his face practically an inch from Cisco’s. Cisco raised his hands above his head.

“Seriously, stop, man! Why are you trying to kill me?”

“What do you know about Jesse?” Harry’s hands were beginning to tighten around Cisco’s throat. Cisco gasped for air.

“If you kill me, Barry's gonna hunt you down. Trust me, he’s not a good enemy to have.”

“Yes, clearly, as evidenced by the devastating vengeance he’s been wreaking on Zoom. Talk fast, Ramon.”

 _Okay, screw making skin contact. I’ve just got to get out of here alive._ “I just was worried about her. She’s been crime-fighting, using her powers. Barry’s tried to stop her, but she doesn’t listen. She’s just started being more careful about letting us catch her at it.”

Harry relaxed his grip. Cisco scrambled to his feet--and a safe distance. No more touchy-feely here. “Oh,” said Harry, stumbling blindly back to his workstation. “I’ll talk to her. Thanks for letting me know, Ramon.”

Cisco retreated, puzzled. What had Harry thought he meant?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time: Harry confronts Jesse, and Jay is manipulative and controlling.


	9. Harry, Caitlin

_**Harry** _

_This is awkward_ , thought Harrison Wells, standing outside Jesse’s door. He had the time, though--Barry and Linda were almost done with the preparations to lure Zoom through the breaches, and nothing he could do would make things go any faster. So when Cisco had told him what he’d caught Jesse doing the previous week, he’d agreed to try to talk to her.

The door flew open. “Um...Hi,” she said.

“Hi,” he rejoined.

“I’d been meaning to find you. We kind of got off on the wrong foot, and I’m sorry.” She opened the door wider and gestured him in.

“It’s fine.”  
“The thing is, this is not a good time right now. I’ve got a friend coming over in about fifteen minutes--”

He waved a hand dismissively. “--Yeah, Cisco told me about that. Listen, I’m here to tell you not to go out tonight.”

“What? Why?” Idiotically, he noticed the mug she was holding in her hands; it was styled to look like an impossibly colored pink, orange, yellow, teal, and lime owl. _Just the sort of thing my Jesse would have loved._ But this was not his Jesse, and he forced his eyes away from the mug to hold her gaze earnestly.

“Barry’s going to lure Zoom through to this Earth. It won’t be safe on the streets until Zoom’s been defeated.”

Her fingers tensed slightly, crumbling the mug to powder and spilling hot coffee all down her shirt. He could see the steam rising, and yet she barely seemed to notice it. _Is it her powers, or has she fought so long that she barely notices pain?_ With effort, he broke from his abstractions to listen to her. She didn’t like his suggestion, he gathered. “You’re being ridiculous! Safe?! It’s never safe on the streets. That’s the reason I fight. Besides, Barry’ll be out there! So it’s safe enough for him! And Zoom will be fighting him, so he’ll be too busy to see me.” She was angry, and overconfident. The combination that had nearly killed his own daughter...

He adopted a calm tone, trying to reason with her, to make this immature _child_ see sense. “Jesse, Zoom doesn't play by the rules. If he sees you, he could use you against Barry to make him surrender.”

“I have powers. He’d have to be holding me to use me against Barry, and he can’t dodge if he’s holding me, so if I can get in three good punches, I’ll break his back!” How could Thawne have been foolish enough to let the explosion impact his daughter? If Jesse didn’t learn her own limitations, she’d never realize her potential. _Not my business._ He couldn’t help but try to save her, though.

“Jesse, I have worked too hard for this to let you mess it up. For one night, please, stay inside, and I won’t tell Barry about your activities. If you don’t promise me, right now, that you will not patrol tonight, then I will personally call Allen and have him lock you in the pipeline. If you do promise, and keep that promise, then I promise that after tonight I will tell Allen to include you more in the team’s activities. That can’t happen if Zoom vibrates his hand through your chest!” He held his breath. What would he have to do to keep her safe? He couldn’t fight her, not with her powers. Could he try tranquilizing her? But she would suspect his intentions if he showed up at her door again. Maybe, perhaps, she would see something of Thawne in him. He could see in her eyes that she had loved Thawne. Wells had to keep this girl safe. He knew that, somewhere in his gut. Would something of the same extend to her? Would she obey him for the sake of his face? Or maybe, possibly, she would see the logic in his argument. She opened her mouth nervously, not meeting his eyes.

“Fine, I promise.”

“Good. Stay safe, Jesse.”

* * *

**_ Caitlin _ **

This was Caitlin’s worst day at work in a very long time. She had pulled at least three all-nighters in a row, tending to Barry’s injuries from the Zoom fight. Cisco, who still hadn’t spoken a word to her since their fight, had brought her coffee three times a day. Maybe there was a chance to mend things between them. Still, Caitlin’s focus had been on getting Barry back to health. She just hadn’t counted on how bad the psychological damage was going to be. Caitlin felt sorry for her friend, but Barry was feeling so sorry for himself she could barely manage being around him. He was perched in Dr. Wells’ old wheelchair, surrounded by his friends and family, complaining relentlessly about how useless and helpless he felt. _Try sitting here and watching this city’s hero lose fights, again and again, because he’s overconfident and/or underprepared_ , she wanted to say, but she knew that he wasn’t in the mood for reality. He’d gotten a harsh enough dose already. She just missed her happy, smiling friend. Maybe once Zoom was defeated, Barry would lighten up. He passed by her and she smiled encouragingly. “You’ll get better soon, Barry, and then Zoom won’t know what hit him!” she yelled brightly after him.

That was her biggest problem. But there were sure a lot of other problems on her plate, ranging from petty to dangerous. The former included things like the fact that Henry Allen, Barry’s father, who Iris had invited to help Barry through his recovery, subtly disliked her and her modern practices. When he’d learned about what happened, he’d kicked her out from attending Barry, even though she (and not he) was his son’s physician. Then, he’d insisted on calling her to grill her about everything she’d done to save his son. Having been in prison for half Caitlin’s life span, Henry was not familiar with recent scientific advancements, and he considered everything not standard practice during his time to be risky and experimental. She tried her very hardest not to show how annoyed he was making her--this was Barry’s father after all--but his subtle implications that he could have healed his son faster than she had were not improving her mood.

In addition, labs all across Central City were reporting stolen chemical serums. She still had no clue what that was about, but it was what she was supposed to be working on--assembling a list of ways the serums could be used.

That was petty. Dangerous was a whole other matter. Dangerous was Wells, who had suddenly decided in the wake of the Zoom fiasco that he would best stop Zoom by returning to his Earth. On the one hand, she wanted to be nowhere near the man whose bad advice had put Barry in a wheelchair. On the other, she knew that to keep Jay’s Earth safe, she couldn’t let Wells out of her sight, especially now that Cisco had vibed--whatever that was Cisco had vibed. That was why Caitlin had snuck away from her workstation on the pretext of looking through some old files. She needed to call Jay and find out what to do.

Dialing his number feverishly, she prayed that he would answer. Halfway through the first ring, she heard his voice.

“Caitlin?”

“Jay!” _Oh no, do I sound too desperate?_

“Cait! Why haven’t you been calling me? I was so worried--” His voice cupped her warmly, putting a sudden smile on her face.

“I haven’t been able to get away. I’m sorry.”

“I need you to do better. Every day, Cait. You need to keep me updated. Call every twenty-four hours, or I swear I’ll go straight back to Central and find out why you haven’t checked in.” Even now, when he was stern, he still exerted a soothing influence over her, made her feel relaxed in a way only Ronnie ever had.

“Jay, that might be a little excessive--”

“I have to know if something happens to you, and I’m not sure Barry knows to call me.” He was right, of course. How had she not realized that Jay would worry?

“Alright. I’ll try. Listen, I need you to tell me what to do. Everything’s gone to pieces over here: Barry fought Zoom, and Zoom broke his back, Cisco vibed that Wells had a daughter and Zoom had her, and crime’s on the uptick because the paper published a story about how Zoom killed the Flash, and now Wells wants to go back to Earth-2--”

“What? Okay, Cait, I need you to grab a glass of water, sit down, and take three deep breaths. Okay? And then I’m going to ask questions, and I need you to answer them.”

“Jay, I’m fine,” she protested.

“Cait, please, just do what I say. It’ll make things easier.” _How long has it been since my last cappuccino?_ Caitlin was so tired. Even slight altitude changes, like standing up or sitting down, were giving her tunnel vision. She’d lost her appetite almost completely. Still, she couldn't sleep now--her team needed her. Caitlin took a deep swig from her water bottle and leaned against a post, willing her eyes to stay open.

He heard her breathing over the phone. “Ready?”

“Yes, Jay.”

“Good, Cait. Now, I need you to stay calm. The connection’s not good--are you in the basement?--anyway, I need you to talk slowly and clearly. Now, to start. Barry fought Zoom? And Zoom broke his back?”

Caitlin nodded wearily before realizing he couldn’t see her. “Yes.”

She could imagine the lines on his brow furrowing. “Do you have any leads at all? Anything? Did anyone see anything we could use to find out his identity? There might be something I missed in my fights with him.”

She bit her lip, trying to remember. “Um...he uses a voice-changer, sort of like the Arrow. The mask covers his whole face. Taller and broader than Barry. The suit is like Barry’s, more like his than like yours, but black. He must do something to his eyes, because they’re all black--no whites at all. His lightning’s blue, for some reason--”

“I remember that. My theory was the oxidization from how fast he runs. Alright. Caitlin, your memory’s a marvel, but there aren’t any leads on that front. Where is he now?”

“Barry thinks back on your Earth.” He drew in a long breath. _How awful must it be to have to abandon your home to a monster like that?_ When Jay next spoke, his voice sent out a wave of suppressed fury so strong that she involuntarily recoiled.

“Alright. Let’s put Zoom aside. How are things going with Wells? You said Cisco vibed something, but there was feedback and I couldn't quite hear what.”

“He’s got a daughter on his Earth. Like our Jesse--did you meet Jesse? She’s our Wells’ daughter who Thawne raised.”

“No, I never met Jesse on your Earth. But I remember Jesse Wells. One of the greatest up-and-coming scientific minds of the century, and with a much better moral compass than her father. Has she come through the portal?”

Caitlin took another swig of water. _I have to stay awake. I can’t sleep now._ But her eyelids were drooping, exhaustion was turning her limbs to lead, and Jay’s words seemed to be swirling through a tunnel from millions of miles away. She needed to keep her focus. “No. Zoom has her.”

She heard his breath whistle through his teeth sharply. “That’s a hard blow. So that’s why Wells has turned altruistic. Zoom has his daughter, so he wants Zoom dead.”

Caitlin began to talk, tripping over her words in a mad rush. “So I thought that would mean that we could trust him, but then I realized--why would Zoom drive the most brilliant resident of Earth-2 to aid his enemy? Taking Jesse Wells hurts Zoom, unless--”

“I see. I hadn’t thought of it that way. Zoom could use Jesse to blackmail Wells into sabotaging Barry.” Jay sounded contemplative, as if imagining the new possibilities that this brought up. “Can you let me think about what to do? Having him near Barry is what Zoom wants, but there’s a saying on Earth-2: Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.”

She shifted her weight against the post, pulling her legs up close to her chest. “We have that on Earth-1 as well. I can’t let you think too long about it, though, because he’s upstairs, practically about to leave--”

Jay cut her off, almost panicked. “No, Cait, you can’t let him go. We have to keep him at the lab, or else Zoom can use him. If he stays, you can keep an eye on him, see what he’s planning.”

Caitlin sighed, trying with all her might and main to keep it from turning into a yawn. She was only partially successful. “I’ll try, but he’s more stubborn than you and Barry put together. Speaking of keeping an eye on Wells, how are you doing?”

He laughed ruefully. “First of all, Cait, you can be more stubborn than anyone I know on two Earths. You just choose not to be. Secondly, I am not having a lot of success with spying on Wells, so I may have to come back empty-handed.”

Caitlin was pressing the tip of her tongue to the roof of her mouth, trying to swallow another yawn. “Alright. So do we do this the old-fashioned way? I can see if I can get him to trust me, if you want. Thawne and I were close.”

He took a long time before he spoke, as if mulling it over. “Cait, he’s dangerous--”

“I’m not afraid of him.”

Jay laughed quietly. “I should have known. Of course you’re not afraid, Cait. Is there anything at all you’re afraid of?”

“Yes.” She spoke quietly, barely more than a whisper.

Jay’s tone was calm, understanding, when he continued. “One day, Cait, I’ll get you to tell me what you’re afraid of. For now, I need you to stay safe. Okay? Listen carefully. First, have your phone with you at all times. That way, if something goes wrong, you can call the police. He’s a wanted man, so if anything at all happens, turn him in as the murderer of Nora Allen. Second, whenever you can, get evidence. If you have some sort of tape recorder, keep it turned on. That way, if he turns dangerous, you have proof for Barry. Finally--Cait, do you know anything about fighting?”

She stifled back a yawn before she spoke, measuring her words carefully. “No. I’ve never fought anyone.” There was a long pause. She could imagine him nodding softly, his eyes gazing into the distance as he decided what to do.

“Alright. That’s okay. I’ll be back soon, and when I am, I’ll teach you self-defense. You need that skill, with the life you lead. For now, stay careful. If you even slightly sense danger, Cait, there is no reason to be heroic. Get away from him as fast as you can. Lock yourself in a room; call Barry first, me second, and the authorities third. If I don’t hear from you once a day--let’s say during your lunch break, that’s noon to one, right?--I will assume the worst. If you don’t call by three, I’ll head back. Do you understand everything, Cait?”

Caitlin forgot to pay attention when she next spoke, and so what was meant to be a simple “Yes” became something of a protracted yawn.

“Cait, are you alright?”

Wearily, Caitlin giggled. “Yes, I’m fine, Jay. Just a little out of sorts. I couldn’t call before because I’ve been at Barry’s bedside nonstop for three days on end.”

 _Of course he’ll be mad. Probably I shouldn’t have._ A long silence rolled out between them.

“Jay?” she ventured timidly. “Are you mad? I didn’t have a lot of options.”

His rich laugh warmed her. “Of course I’m not mad, Cait. Why would I ever be mad at you? I’m just worried. You can’t seem to take care of yourself, and I don’t see anyone there taking care of you. Promise me that you won’t let it happen again, Cait. You need to stay safe, and in the state you’re in, I think a street thug could be about to murder you and you wouldn’t notice.”

This was a blatant untruth. “But--”

Jay cut her off with an admonishing noise. “Cait, don’t “but” me. I need to be able to trust you, not just with the Wells situation, but with your own life. You have to understand, your safety is infinitely--” He trailed off, pensively. Caitlin quietly waited for his next words. “Anyway, why am I keeping you? Get some rest, I’ll talk to you at noon tomorrow. Goodbye, Cait. I--miss you. Take care until tomorrow, okay?”

From anyone else, Caitlin would have resented such control. But it was nice to relax once in awhile, and she trusted Jay. He was solid, dependable, and predictable in a way Ronnie never had been. And he was a million times gentler than her lost husband. Ronnie had been brash, charismatic, and cocky, but Jay had a quiet magnetism, a sort of inner will. She knew, innately, that when it came down to the wire, she would trust him with her life in split-second decisions. He was one of the first people to ever trust her like that, and she reciprocated that trust with every fiber of her being. Once, there had been an active shooter drill at the lab. Ronnie and Caitlin had failed spectacularly, as they had created a ridiculous amount of racket deciding who should hide and who should be given the taser. Ronnie had pointed out that Caitlin had no defense experience, but she had countered back with the fact that he joined STAR Labs to avoid the army (his parents’ preferred career choice for him.) From there, the conversation had degenerated to a discussion of whether and how their respective body weights should be factored into a discussion of their physical fitness. Caitlin hadn’t even wanted the taser, but she hadn't wanted Ronnie to get it. Not that she didn’t believe he’d defend her, but still. He hadn’t gotten the taser. They had instead both received a very stern lecture from Dr. Wells emphasizing the importance of taking active shooter drills seriously. Ronnie had smirked the whole time. But she would have given Jay the taser before he even asked for it, and she didn’t really know why.

“Cait? You’ve gone dead over there for almost a minute. Can you hear me?”

“Yes, Jay. I hear you. I’ll stay safe.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time: Grodd! Caitlin's a little better at spying (though not much) and Cisco is freaking out. If anyone is confused or has questions/suggestions, be sure to comment! I'd love to hear from you guys!


	10. Harry, Cisco, Cisco

_**Harry** _

Wells was packing up the lab when Snow tapped on the door. That was odd. He’d thought she hated him. She was a good deal shyer than Ramon, and he’d been fairly certain Garrick had her wrapped around his little finger. What was Snow here for? Wells spoke without turning around. “Hello?” It came out more abrasively than he intended.

Snow replied in barely more than a whisper. “Hi. It’s me.” What was her first name? Katie? _Oh, right. Caitlin._

“Dr. Snow. What can I do for you, Caitlin?” He spoke as kindly as he could manage. _Don't want to frighten her off._

“Why are you leaving?”

Wells turned to face her. “Barry failed to stop Zoom. I’m going to go find another solution.”

Snow sat down across from him. “You can’t defeat Zoom on your own. Trust me, I’ve seen Barry defeated before, and he always comes back stronger.”

He nodded briskly. “Then he doesn’t need me, and I might as well go defend my home.”

She leaned across at him. “What Barry needs never changes. He needs people who believe in him and are committed to helping him. The more of those he has, the better.” Wells scoffed.

“I have to save my daughter.”

Her tone was brittle and icy. “How? Walk into Zoom’s lair and ask politely? You need to save your Earth, Doctor. And you need to save ours. Billions of lives. Your daughter will be safe for now. If Zoom wanted Jesse dead, he would have killed her already. For now, you have one shot at getting your daughter back. That shot is Barry Allen.”

There was something off about this. Why was Snow telling him this? He’d barely seen her string three words together. _Only one way to figure out._ Suddenly, he lunged across the table, grabbing a screwdriver in one swift gesture. Snow knocked over her chair and scrambled madly for the opposite wall, crouching next to the door and breathing hard, like an animal at bay. He barked out a harsh laugh.

“I don’t bite, Snow. Come back and sit down. Just grabbing a tool; sorry if I scared you.” So she didn’t trust him. What lies had Garrick been feeding her? And, if she was so afraid of him, why did she want him to stay?

Wells was intrigued. He needed to get to the bottom of this. “Anyway, Snow, you make good points. I’ll think about it. Let’s talk later.” She pursed her lips and nodded. For a second, it looked as though she wanted to say something else, but she pivoted on her heel and silently left.  
****

* * *

**_ Cisco _ **

Cisco knocked on the door to Harry’s lab a half hour later. “Yo. Harry. You seen Caitlin?”

Dude ignored him. Cisco walked closer and spoke louder. “Yo. Have you seen Caitlin?”

It took four tries before Harry turned around. “No, Ramon, it is not my job to know where Snow is at any given moment. Check her workstation.” Harry tried to spin back around, but Cisco put out his foot to arrest the motion.

“Yeah, I checked. I also checked the basement, and I asked Barry, _and_ I called her cell, and her home phone number. Last I saw her acting normal, she went to talk to you. Then five minutes ago she punched me and walked out. I pulled up security footage and saw her walking around the corner. Taking the punch out of the equation for a moment, Cait doesn’t leave work unless it’s important. So did you send her on an errand?”

Harry jerked himself free from Cisco, rising angrily to his feet. “No. Snow left my office half an hour ago. Haven’t seen her since. Can you ping her phone?”

Cisco’s gut roiled. What if someone had lured her somewhere? No way. Cait wasn’t that stupid. She always kept her cool. It would take a lot to fool his friend. What would mess with her judgement so much that she’d leave the lab without telling anyone where she was going. _Is_ _she still in contact with Jay?_ He could almost certainly have done it. It was like he had some weird mind control over her. _Mind control...mind control..._  
What did that remind him of?

* * *

Cisco was having a very sleepless night. He’d stayed up until eleven trying to think of ways to save Caitlin, but everything he could think of involved Barry. _Why did Grodd pick today to mind-control Cait? Of all the days, he picks the one when Barry was powerless to stop him. The gorilla was just too freakin’ smart. Why couldn’t Cait have been kidnapped by a stupid gorilla? Duh. A stupid gorilla would have no reason to kidnap Cait. Why does Grodd want Cait, anyhow? Is it some sort of King Kong complex? Do gorillas have complexes? How do you psychoanalyze a gorilla?_ Whatever. Cisco wasn’t doing anyone any favors by depriving himself of sleep. So promptly at eleven, he took some pills--couldn’t stay up late worrying!--and went to bed.

Three hours later, the joke was on Cisco. He hadn’t slept a wink. He knew, intuitively, that it was ridiculous to worry. Caitlin was going to be fine.

_Is she?_

All Cisco could think of was his last words to her. “If things go bad, don’t come back and say you’re sorry.” Why had he said that? If something were to happen...

Grodd was hardly famous for anger management expertise. Cisco’s head swam with visions of Cait’s limbs being torn off. Even if Grodd wasn’t trying to kill her, it was like Chewbacca playing with an Ewok. He might just intend to tap her, but he could probably collapse her lungs with a finger.

He had to think positively. There was no way Grodd would hurt Caitlin.

But still--Cisco couldn’t get it off his mind. He had said so much he hadn’t meant, done things he wished he never would have, and there was a slim probability that he would never get to take them back. It was so stupid that they had fought. He shouldn’t have lied to her, and he should have been more patient. Cisco tossed and turned. Caitlin was going to be okay. She had to be. Finally, he couldn't stand it any longer. He got out of bed, dressed, and biked to her apartment. _Sorry_ , he thought as he smashed a window. He had to get inside, and he didn’t know how to pick locks. Wincing as the broken glass grazed his arms, Cisco pawed around for the door handle and unlocked it. He stepped inside. There was her apartment, spick-and-span. Ronnie would have been disgusted--he’d hated her neat-freak tendencies. Caitlin’s cleanliness also didn’t suit Cisco’s purposes. He needed to find something that she touched often, but knowing Caitlin, she probably sanitized everything with alcohol three times a day. Moving quietly through the living room, he picked up knick-knacks from the mantelpiece, hoping against hope for a vibe. Nothing. He moved to the kitchen, noticing the neatly arranged mugs in the cupboard. One of them, which read

“I am ~~an ingineer~~  
~~an enginer~~  
~~an engeneer~~  
~~an enjinear~~  
good at math” had belonged to Ronnie. It sat in pride of place in the center of the cupboard, beginning to gather a thin layer of dust with Caitlin’s absence. He tried various objects, but nothing yielded results, from the tea-kettle to the wooden spoons. Her computer and science equipment were similarly useless in triggering his powers. _Why is it that when I need my powers to save my friend, they can’t pop up, even though they were the reason I fought with her?_ If there was karma in the universe, Cisco’s abilities would save Caitlin.

Feeling like an unwelcome invader, he opened the door to her room, finding her bed neatly made. He tried her jewelry, putting everything back in the place he found it. Nothing. Cisco was about to cry. He fell back on her bed. Grodd had Caitlin, and there was nothing he could do, even to know if she was safe. He hated feeling helpless.

Cisco lay there for an eternity, feeling very sorry for himself, until he became suddenly conscious that Caitlin’s pillow was very uncomfortable. He reached into the pillowcase and pulled out a small rectangular box. Inside were several photos of Ronnie and Caitlin, and her engagement ring. _Perhaps?_ With trembling hands, Cisco cupped the little silver band. _Please please work._

**_She was in one of the Central City bell towers, just as they had thought, holed up, working on some sort of experiment. She was dazed-looking, but otherwise fine. Cisco strained to see what she was doing. Those were the stolen serums. She was saying something about intelligence enhancement. Why did Grodd want that? Then again, that seemed to be the most reasonable use for the serum he had been able to come up with. Was Grodd going to create an army of creatures like himself to conquer Central? Grodd was on the opposite wall, watching Cait work from a distance and appearing fairly calm for a thousand-pound, murderous gorilla. There was an exit from the bell tower within easy reach, but Cait wouldn’t take it unless Grodd let her go. The trouble is, how do you get a scary big mind-control gorilla to do something it doesn’t want to? The only person Cisco had ever known able to control Grodd was Thawne...  
_**

**_Of course!_ **

Cisco was lying on Caitlin’s bed, cupping her engagement ring in his hand jubilantly. He knew how to save Cait. All was right with the world.

He remained ecstatic up until he saw the cop car around the corner. _Dammit, I forgot that I rigged Cait’s apartment to call the police on its own in case of a break in._ Tucking the ring back in its box gently, Cisco made his escape. _Relax, Cisco. If you get arrested you can always just talk to Joe. He’ll get you out. Totally. Without deciding you need to learn a lesson first. Uh-huh._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time...Jesse flashes back, and Harry gets things sorted out.


	11. Jesse, Harry

_**Jesse** _

Jesse was fairly surprised to see Harrison Wells-- _Cisco’s right, we should all just call him Harry_ \--on her doorstep. She was even more surprised when he barged right past her into the house, installing himself in her dad’s favorite chair before she’d even greeted him.

She plopped down across from him. “What are you doing?”

Harry stared her down, almost relentlessly. “Jesse, I need your help.”

 _Well, that’s weird._ She met his gaze coolly. “I’m perfectly happy to help. Do you want tea while we talk?” She half-began to rise, but Harry grabbed her hands firmly, pulling her back down to the table.

“I need you to tell me about Thawne. How he acted, what he was like. Everything you know.”

Jesse recoiled. _What? Why? How does he think he has the right--_

She furiously broke free of his grip and stormed over to the door, pointing him outside. “ **Get out** ,” she spat venomously. “ _ **Get out!**_ ”

Harry didn’t twitch a muscle. After a while, she closed the door and left the room. He followed her into the kitchen. “Jesse, this is important. Ramon said he’d teach me, but I don’t think he knows what he’s doing. I don’t care what you think of me or how much you hate me. My dislike for you is about as significant as yours for me. But this is our best shot at saving Snow--”

Jesse whirled. “Cait’s in trouble?”

Wearily, he sat down at the kitchen table, crossing his legs and putting them up on the spare chair. “A gorilla named Grodd kidnapped her. Ramon thinks that if I could pass myself off as Thawne, I could get him to stop mind-controlling her.”

“Grodd? Why did nobody tell me?”

“Why would they, when you refuse to help the team, like you’re doing now? When you _lie_ to them constantly?” His tone was bitter and cutting,

Jesse clapped her hands over her ears distractedly, trying not to hear him, but he just went on and on. The air in the room felt thick and heavy, like it weighed a million pounds on her. She had to get out. Turning madly, Jesse blindly ran to her bedroom, opened the door, and locked herself in, flinging herself on the bed and stuffing the pillow over her head, trying to shut out the nightmare she knew was fairly inevitable.

_She was lying on what looked like a hospital bed, adrift in a sea of tubes carrying oddly colored fluids. Jesse was tired, and every inch of her body ached. She felt sick to her stomach, and strangely detached, as if her body was no longer her own.  
_

_Over to her left, she heard someone sobbing softly, a man. She tried to get up, to turn her head, but she was strapped down and paralyzed. Suddenly, Jesse realized that she was not on a bed. She was strapped down to a table. She tried to open her mouth and yell for help, but her throat was so dry that she couldn’t manage more than a croak.  
_

_It was enough, however. Instantly, the sobbing stopped, and she saw her father race his wheelchair to her side, clearing a pathway through the tubes, loosening her straps enough that she could turn her head to face him. He stopped his chair beside her bed, placing his warm hands over hers.  
_

_“Dad? What’s happening?”  
_

_“Jess. I’m so sorry, but they weren’t sure what to do, and they were worried about you. I’m pulling strings, we’re going to get you out. I promise, Jess, this is going to be over soon.”_

_Turning her head from side to side to try and unknot the muscles in her neck, Jesse found herself gazing idly at her right hand, the one he wasn’t holding. Not only was it strapped down at the wrist, but individual fingers were strapped down. They hadn’t strapped her down with leather, but with the polymorphic carbonate fiber that they only used on experiments they were afraid of, like Grodd. What was going on? He snapped his fingers to the left of her head. “Jesse, don’t look at that. Okay? Just look at me. I’m right here, Jess, and I’m not leaving, and we’re going to get you transferred to the lab.”_

_“Dad, where am I?”  
_

_His fingers tightened convulsively over hers. “At a top-secret military research base. Even I’m not quite sure where it is.”  
_

_“Why am I here?”  
_

_He cleared his throat, staring at the head of the table instead of in her eyes. “Jess...what’s the last thing you remember?”  
_

_She blearily tried to recall something, anything. “Um...we were at the opening ceremony for the accelerator. You finished the speech and flipped it on...”  
_

_She trailed off. There was a long silence, as her father repeatedly failed to muster up the courage to speak. Finally, he began, numbly gripping her hand like a lifeline. “Jess, the accelerator exploded, and it sent out a dark matter wave, hitting everyone in the area. Some people were unaffected. Other people died. And some people...changed.”_

Oh no. _Jesse frantically twisted her head, trying to see what had happened to her. Her hands were her hands, but her entire torso was covered over with a sheet. He grabbed her head and twisted it around to face him. “Jesse, you look the same. Precisely the same, I swear. It’s just some people developed--abilities. You’re one of them. Enhanced strength.”_

_“What do you mean, enhanced strength? How do we fix it?”  
_

_“We’ll take you back to the lab, run some tests on you, and Cisco thinks that if Caitlin pinpoints the precise origin--what part of your cellular structure was modified--then he can suppress it. Just a pair of gloves, say, or some jewelry is all it will take.”  
_

_“Can’t you just take it away for good?”  
_

_He hung his head. “I’m sorry, Jess, but there isn’t a permanent solution. That’s why you’re here. General Eiling wants to run some tests on you. He wants to make sure you’re not going to hurt anyone. But I’m going to keep you safe.”  
_

No _. Eiling was a man her father hated. Brutal and ruthless, he destroyed almost every subject he worked on. Jesse was going to die. She looked back at him, pleadingly. “Dad?” He squeezed her fingers, whispering hoarsely to her. “Jesse, this will be over soon. Okay? Please, look at me, Jess. It’s going to be okay. I will fix this. Trust me, please Jess, please Jesse Quick, no don’t look down there, please don’t look...”  
_

_She could hardly help looking. An almost inhuman figure in a hazmat suit had pulled the sheet off her torso. She could see a row of livid crisscrossing cuts on it. Her father was yelling at the figure, begging it for something, she couldn’t make out. His words flew past her ears.  
_

_Somehow, while Jesse was asleep, she’d turned into a monster, an experiment. Was she even human anymore? She looked at her father, but he was yelling past her, his grip on her hands so hard it looked as if his bones were going to break his skin. The hazmat suit crossed around the table towards him and loomed threateningly over him. She saw a scalpel in its gloved hand. Madly, she strained at the straps._ Not my dad. Eiling needs to leave him alone. He can hurt me, but not Dad. _With a wild effort, she broke free, frantically pulling tubes from her arms, grabbing the hazmat suit and hurling it away from her father. Jesse heard the alarms begin to ring, saw blood inside the hazmat suit’s face mask. She had killed--him?--her?--them? She stood quietly, stunned into meekness. Harrison Wells shook his daughter. “Jess, we need to run.” She barely heard him, gazing past him at the growing pool of blood inside the motionless suit. A hundred armed soldiers surrounded them, pointing guns. Many of them were barely older than her, and she could see disgust etched in their features._ Is it for me, or for what they’re doing?

_Eiling strode up, and Jesse stared passively past his shoulder at the wall. It was up to her dad now._

_“Eiling, we made a deal. STAR Labs got her the instant she woke up!”_

_“STAR Labs isn’t militarily accredited.”_

_“Accredited? There was no point to what you were doing! Cutting her open yet again wasn’t going to tell you anything more than it did before. You idiots weren’t even going to use a morphine drip this time! You call yourselves scientists?”_

_“She killed one of my men. In the interests of responsibility, we can’t let her go free--”_

_When would this end? Couldn’t they just decide without taking so long about it?_

_“Well, you’ve detained her for weeks. By law, unless you can produce evidence to hold her, you need to let her go.”_

_Eiling growled, “I think the footage we’ve got is quite enough.”_

_Her father laughed. “Yeah, we both know you can’t use that, or people ask questions about what it is you do here. Jesse’s seventeen, and footage of what you have been doing would be pretty sensational. Congress is always looking to streamline the bureaucracy...”_

_In the end, they took her to a small white room where she stared at the wall until her father came for her. She ran to him and hugged him as gently as she could. He laughed as if he was about to cry. “We’re going home, Jesse Quick. It’s alright.”_

* * *

**_ Harry _ **

Harrison Wells ( _who was sick of being called Harry_ ) didn’t know what was going on. Jesse had been acting normally, until suddenly in the middle of their conversation, she had clapped her hands over her ears and run out of the room. _Is she okay? Does Allen know she's like this?_ Of course not. If Harrison Wells had learned one thing from his sojourn at STAR Labs, it was that Barry Allen knew little to nothing about the world around him, and his entire team was dedicated to keeping it that way.

If Jesse Thawne wanted to have a nervous breakdown, he would wait it out until he got the information he needed. The team was going to send him out in front of an angry gorilla while dressed up as said angry gorilla’s archenemy, so Wells wanted to be as prepared as he could be. He needed Jesse’s help to avoid becoming a blood smear on a wall. Wells settled down to wait until the heavy sobs in the other room subsided.

Ten minutes later, a monstrous crash echoed through the house. Wells started. _What is she doing? Does she throw things at the wall to manage her anger when she can’t fight? Why? I hope she knows which walls are load-bearing._ He waited another five minutes, but heard no further sound. Quietly, he made his way to the bedroom door and knocked. No answer. He tried the handle, but it was locked. Wells waited another five minutes in case she might decide to come out on her own before he went to the kitchen and found a paper clip to pick the lock with. It yielded without a struggle. Softly, he entered.

Wells had seen many things destroyed in his life, but he was not prepared for the utter devastation he found in Jesse’s room. She had toppled her dresser clear onto her bed, smashing both, shattering a mirror on the opposite wall, and scattering clothes and mattress stuffing through the entire room. Jesse was kneeling in the middle of the wreckage of her bed, eyes glazed over, rocking mechanically back and forth. She didn’t even see him, and she didn’t fight when he picked her up and carried her to the couch, arranging her as comfortably as he could before retreating to a chair. He waited a few minutes for her to wake up.

Jesse yawned and stretched, pulling herself up to an impressive counterfeit of composure.

She didn’t fool him for an instant. “Sorry about that,” she said lazily.

He leaned forward. “What was that? Tell me, or tell the team. They should know that you have such significant trauma.”

She scoffed. “It’s nothing, really.”

“I’ll be the judge of that.”

He willed her with his eyes to confide in him. She looked away in a small act of rebellion. _Is she defying me, or defying Thawne?_

“I can’t help you. Not to be him. Because I didn’t know him.”

Wells was unwilling to change the subject, but he needed her help on this. “Allen says you knew him better than anyone.”

She laughed, harshly and bitterly. “If you think your impersonation of a kind and loving father will make Grodd give up Caitlin, go for it. But I never knew him as anyone except for the person he wanted to appear to me as. Ask Cisco, not me. Cisco saw him unmasked. I never met Eobard Thawne. He never spoke to me. That, or possibly the Reverse-Flash was the mask. But it’s not a persona I know.” He nodded and got up.

“I’m not going to tell Allen about this. If you need to tell someone, I can listen.”

“Why would I tell you, when you never told me there was another Jesse, even though you made it painfully obvious?” She infused the query with a deliberate and biting sarcasm.  
Wells didn’t know what to say. _What does she mean, obvious?_ Sensing his confusion, she leaned up, directly into his face, straining on her tiptoes to make eye contact with him on equal ground. “You called me Jesse Quick. You couldn’t have known to call me that if there was no Jesse Wells on your Earth.” Then, she shoved him in the gut--hard enough to knock the wind out of him and force him through the doorway, though to her it must have felt like a gentle tap--and slammed the door in his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time: Hunter is pretty creepy, Caitlin is oblivious, Cisco is content, and Harry is suspicious.
> 
> I would love to hear what people think of this: comments, kudos, and especially constructive criticism! Thanks for reading!


	12. Hunter, Caitlin, Cisco, Harry

_**Hunter** _

1:00 had passed, and no word from Caitlin. Hunter could barely sit still. What had happened? He had sat, nearly unresponsive, for the fifteen minutes since the deadline passed, closing his eyes and trying to envision what might have gone wrong. Endless possibilities flitted by.

He hoped that she was merely busy, or being watched. But as the second hand ticked inexorably forward, that possibility began to seem more and more like wishful thinking.

The other scenarios made him feel slightly nauseous. She could be in danger, right now, fighting for her life. Hunter shifted restlessly. He could save her. But if he wanted to find her, he would need to ask Reverb to look, and he couldn’t risk word getting out that he was in love. Even Black Siren would rebel against him then. He knew he could stop any resistance, but doing so would weaken his forces on Earth-2. Besides, he needed to protect Caitlin. Needed it like he needed air or the Speed Force. She was his--it was as if they were linked, in some odd way, as if her life force was connected to his. He knew, sharply, that if Caitlin’s life was on the line, he would be weakened--that if Black Siren or Reverb, Rupture, Deathstorm, or even Killer Frost threatened her, he would save her, whatever it took. He could afford to lose soldiers. Caitlin was irreplaceable. The only way to keep her safe was to keep her well hidden.

He should have rushed back the instant he broke Barry’s back. _I left her alone, with no protection, in a world of metahumans!_  He would never forgive himself for abandoning her like that if she was in danger right now.

The second hand crept onwards, and for a moment, Hunter toyed with the notion of smashing the watch to bits so he wouldn’t have to see it. He ultimately decided against it, if only because he had to know when 3:00 arrived.

Another possibility was that she was dead. That one was simple for him. He would take enough V-5 to travel back in time and reverse her death. He’d decided that at 12:07, when he’d realized she was later than usual in calling. According to Barry, time travel had worked to bring back Cisco half a year ago. It would save Caitlin.

The possibility he was most frightened of was that she had found him out--that she knew he was Zoom and was somehow so disgusted she couldn’t bring herself to call him. That one had so many different outcomes. _Caitlin tells Barry and I have to kill him. Caitlin is torn, but I have to kidnap her to get her to understand. I manage to arrive in time to remind Caitlin that she loves me. Someone else figured out, and they told Caitlin, who can’t quite bring herself to believe it..._

It was pointless to imagine any further. At 3:00, if he had still heard nothing, he would check. Then, he would fix whatever had gone wrong.

There were things Hunter Zolomon wanted--like the support of his army, the worship of the masses, Earths to rule. Then there were things he needed--water, air, V-5, the Speed Force.

Caitlin fell into both categories. He didn’t just need her in order to survive (although he certainly did--how could he imagine a multiverse without Earth-1’s Caitlin Snow in it?), he wanted to have her as his, heart, mind, and soul. He wanted her loyalty, because it was worth striving for.

He’d set out to conquer the multiverse because he liked a challenge. This was another challenge he had set himself--make her his.

* * *

**_ Caitlin _ **

It was 2:45 when Caitlin called Jay. The phone barely rung before he answered, breathlessly.

“Cait! I was worried! How could you forget?”

“Jay, I swear I didn’t forget. I was kidnapped by a telepathic gorilla. I’d explain further, but apparently there’s a whole city full of them on your Earth.” She spoke feverishly, her tongue tripping over some of the syllables.

He laughed, relieved. “Of course I know about Gorilla City, Cait. I understand completely. Besides the gorilla incident, how are things at the lab?”

“Wells agreed to stay, but I think he’s onto me.”

Jay’s tone changed abruptly, becoming deadly serious. “What? Cait, how do you know? Are you sure?”

Remembering how he had admonished her to tell him important information slowly and clearly, she took a deep breath and focused her mind, trying to remember as many exact details as she could from before Grodd had messed with her head. “I went into his lab to try and convince him to stay. I told him that Barry needed him, and he needed Barry, and that trying to save his daughter alone was suicide. He looked confused, the whole time, like he was thinking about something else. Then he went to get a screwdriver that was near me--I was sitting across the table from him--but he did it suddenly, and he looked like he was about to attack me. I remembered what you said about not being heroic and running away quick, so I went to the opposite wall, near the door. I figured if he came after me, I could slip through and lock him in. He laughed, told me he didn’t bite, and said he’d think about staying. Is it worth worrying about?”

Caitlin could practically hear Jay’s frown. “I’m not very worried right now, because I’m coming back and you’re safe for now, so we can work it out. What worries me is that you don’t seem to realize what a close escape you had. You’re talking about it far too calmly. He’s more dangerous than you seem to realize. Caitlin, were you scared at all? No, don’t answer that. You need to be more careful. Don’t go in to talk to him alone, from now on, okay? He can’t try something like that in front of Barry. Even Cisco would help--that’s one more hypothetical body to hide for him, so it would help deter him. Why would you _ever_ decide to go in there alone, Cait? I distinctly remember us agreeing that you shouldn’t try to be brave or heroic.”

She swallowed. “Jay, I know I don’t sound scared. One reason why is that I don’t think Wells would kill me, since he needs Barry to trust him in order to get his daughter back, whether by defeating Zoom or giving him what he wants.”

Jay interrupted her. “Caitlin, I completely disagree with reason one, but it’s not worth arguing about, since I’m coming back soon.”

She continued as if she hadn’t heard him. _It’s ridiculous that he thinks him being here will change anything._ A more sensible part of her brain realized that Jay probably just wanted to be there with her so he didn’t have to wonder whether or not Wells was a danger to her.  _Besides_ , she reminded herself, _he knows Wells. I don’t. Maybe Wells really is that ruthless. Maybe I should be more afraid._ “Reason two is that the last time we talked, you wanted me to slow down and tell you everything calmly. So I thought I might save you the trouble.”

Jay’s warm laugh split the tension between them. “Alright, I’ll give you that one. Very clever, Cait. I’ll be back anytime in the next three to four days, although I didn’t get any leads. I don’t think I’ll return publicly yet, though. How about I let you know when I’m back and we can plan from there?”

She smiled on the other end of the line. “Sounds good.”

“Caitlin, I would tell you to stay safe, but I’ve tried and you don’t seem to listen. So I’ll just tell you to do whatever your judgement tells you.”

“Jay, that was the best thing you could have told me. Cisco’s coming, though, so I have to get off. Noon tomorrow, okay?”

His voice was soft, gentler than she had ever heard it. “Alright. Bye, Cait.”

* * *

**_ Cisco _ **

Cisco found Caitlin down in a secluded corner of the basement, practically buried under a pile of papers.

“Hey. You know, for a second I thought we had a meta attack down here. There should be like a book-themed meta, who can shoot paper.”

She laughed comfortably. _Why is she so relaxed? As in, like, “just finished a massage relaxed”, not “just escaped the world’s most dangerous King Kong reenactment relaxed”, which should not even be a type of relaxed. Why?_ “Yeah, he could give Barry a paper cut, and Barry could feel useless and desperate for a few days until he realizes he can win by hurling lightning at the paper to burn it.”

“Right on the money as always. Listen, can we talk?”

She looked confused, but finished shelving the papers before sitting down against a support pole with her arms tucked around her knees. “Sure, Cisco. I just finished going through Thawne’s old files on Grodd. I wanted to make sure he’ll be okay in Gorilla City. I think he should be. The telepathic frequencies seem to be independent of vibrational speed.”

Cisco plopped down across from her. _This floor is so not comfy. Why does Cait spend so much time down here?_ He’d order a rug. “I just wanted to tell you I’m sorry about what I said. When we fought.”

She waved a hand dismissively. “Oh, that? I haven’t been mad in a while. I’m glad you’re not mad at me. I should have respected your decision to keep your powers to yourself.”

He smiled, half involuntarily. It was great to have his bestie back. “You know, Cait, I don’t think it’s possible to stay mad at someone when they’ve literally been kidnapped and mind-controlled. It kind of puts things in perspective. It would be like Joe yelling at Barry about pushing his chair in and washing his plate before he leaves the dinner table while Barry’s off fighting Zoom, or Thawne, or someone. A better thing to do would be to worry sick. Seriously, that was scary. Like, really, really scary. World’s most dangerous King Kong reenactment, right there.”

Caitlin grinned, letting her legs splay out into a more comfortable position. “I’m glad you’re not mad at me. Next time we fight, remind me to freeze myself in carbonite while you’re off refining your powers.”

“What?” She wasn’t making sense.

“I’ll reenact Star Wars. Luke really should have been mad at Han for trusting Lando and getting Leia captured, but something about the carbonite incident...”

“Cait?”

“Yeah, Cisco?”

He didn’t want this moment to end. “I am _so_ proud of you.”

* * *

**_ Harry _ **

Harrison Wells had the lab practically to himself. Ramon and Allen had gone off to ask about five of Allen’s friends to save Ramon’s girlfriend from a murder attempt. Jesse hadn’t shown her face near the lab in weeks, and Snow claimed she hadn’t been helping her recently. Then again, who knew what Snow was hiding? Certainly not him. But Wells had a week of no Ramon, no Allen, and none of Allen’s supposed family who looked nothing like him to get to the bottom of Snow, and he was going to do it.

Wells’ current hypothesis was simple. Garrick had gotten to Snow first, and said things about Wells that made Snow distrust him. Therefore, because she was so busy distrusting Wells, Snow had no idea what a fraud Garrick was. And because Snow trusted Garrick and distrusted Wells, Ramon did too. Furthermore, if Snow were to simply be told the truth about Garrick, she’d be inclined towards her preconceived notions, branding the teller as a liar. However, if Snow were to herself discover a few of Garrick’s secrets, it could destroy the trust between them irreparably with a bit of luck. Change Snow’s opinion, change Ramon’s opinion, change Allen’s actions, and thus kick Jay Garrick out of the lab by the seat of his pants the next time he showed his face.

But it all hinged on Snow. She was Garrick’s biggest advocate on the team, and with the King absent from the chessboard, Wells intended to take the Queen. Wells was fairly certain Snow’s trips to the basement involved reporting on the team’s actions to Garrick. And he was also fairly certain that Garrick intended to return for good very soon. Stopping Snow from supporting Garrick was the biggest wrench Wells could have thrown in his plans.

He walked nonchalantly over to Snow’s workstation, clearing his throat when he was two feet behind her. She’d learned more self-control since their last few meetings, and so there was only a slight twitch in her neck muscles.

“Dr. Wells. What can I do for you?”

“Snow. Have you thought about what I asked?”

She looked confused for a moment. “Oh, the speed serum. Yeah, I’m running a simulation to determine the limiting factors on Barry’s speed, and I was wondering if you could get me the biostructure data from your last five attempts.”

“Sure. Come over to my desk. With Ramon and Allen gone, there’s no point in us working across the room from each other.” Snow looked profoundly uncomfortable. This was going to be fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Next time: trouble brews in Hunter and Caitlin's paradise, and Jesse and Harry come up with a plan.


	13. Caitlin, Harry, Jesse

_**Caitlin** _

Jay had not been enthused to learn that Caitlin was going to be spending three days alone in the lab with Dr. Wells. When she’d called to let him know that Cisco and Barry were leaving for Star City, he had barely been able to let her hang up. She’d tried to make Jay see this as an opportunity to learn more about Wells’ plans while gaining his trust. Jay, however, primarily saw this as an opportunity for Wells to divert her trust or possibly kill her. With her work day at the lab finished, Caitlin packed her things and headed for the door.

“Going somewhere, Snow? I’ve never seen you leave the lab before two in the morning.”

_Stay calm. Look him in the eyes. The primary physical signs of lying are irregular breathing and failure to make eye contact._

“Sorry, Dr. Wells. I’m housesitting for a friend.”

He turned around and went back to work. _Thank goodness._ Caitlin hastily left the lab and took the bus home. Unlocking the door, she paused in the front entryway. “Jay?” she whispered. He emerged from the kitchen, eating a bowl of cereal.

“Hi, Cait. How was work?” She put her bag down on the table and collapsed onto the couch. Putting down his snack, Jay sat down beside her, so close that she could feel a line of contact between them all the way from her feet to her shoulders. She tried to move away and get some breathing room, but he’d neatly pinned her between himself and the arm of the couch.

“Stop squirming, Cait. I’m not going to hurt you.” She took a deep breath and tried to unknot her gut.

“Sorry, Jay. You just surprised me a little.”

He laughed. “Cait, is that how badly you’re lying to Wells?”

“I wasn’t really lying. You really did surprise me there. Anyway, speaking of Wells, he’s started me working on some sort of formula to enhance Barry’s speed.” Jay’s lithe shoulders tensed beside her. She looked over at him. His face had darkened, and he pulled her in towards him without looking at her, crushing Caitlin to him as if she were a full-body stress-relief cushion. She bit the inside of her lip and tried not to cry out. Craning her neck to look up at his set face, Caitlin nearly winced as the pressure he exerted on her forced her head back down. Through all this, he barely seemed to be aware of her presence. “Jay,” she asked quietly, trying not to betray the pain in her side, “what’s wrong with Velocity-6?” He returned his gaze to the present, but didn’t release her.

“I’m sorry, Cait, but I can’t tell you. Just trust me. Don’t ever let Barry take it.”

She fought free of his heavy, pinioning arm. “That’s not good enough, Jay. I need to know why.” _Stay calm._ Still he refused to look at her. His face was stone-carven, implacable. Caitlin got up furiously from the couch. _I thought he trusted me!_ “That’s not how this works. I won’t trust you blindly and do whatever you say if you don’t trust me with the truth. Tell me the truth right now, Jay, or I will call Barry right now and tell him the truth about me helping you, and I guarantee you that Barry will want to tell Wells.” She spoke as calmly as she could, but there was a tremor in her voice that betrayed her frustration.

His arm shot out like a whip and gripped around her wrist. Jay looked up at her then, wistfully. “I’m sorry, Cait, but you can’t do that. You’re not thinking clearly. I need you to sit down and think about this in a logical way. Cait, I swear that V-6 isn’t important to my suspicions of Wells, but it’s dangerous and I don’t want to talk about it. Just know that the Speed Force is a gift, and it’s not to be tampered with. Please, don’t ever ask me again.”

 _Has Jay taken V-5? Maybe, since Zoom seems to always be able to find other speedsters, taking V-6 might draw Zoom to Barry. Jay is overreacting to this._ “Fine. I won’t ask.”

She sat back down between him and the arm of the couch, letting her muscles relax, leaning onto his shoulder. There was no use in squirming. If he wanted to hold her, he would. But he didn’t control her mind. “Cait, you need to stop him. Sabotage the speed serum. Just pretend you couldn’t crack the biostructure, that the molecule kept destabilizing.” She nodded meekly and sleepily into his shoulder. Caitlin knew she’d do nothing of the sort.

* * *

**_ Harry _ **

Wells was glad Caitlin had left the lab early. He didn’t want her running into his nocturnal visitor. If Snow saw that, she would tell Garrick or Allen. Which Flash she would choose to tell would reveal a lot about her loyalties, but either would be disastrous. He turned off his computer and made his way downstairs to the Time Vault. Wells had long since learned that the security cameras didn’t cover that area. That was where he always met Zoom.

Today, Zoom was late. Not just a minute later than usual, but three whole hours late. As Zoom phased through the wall, Wells straightened up. He would not let this--demon--break him again.

“You’re three hours later than usual.”

Zoom chuckled lowly. “I was delayed by a girl you know.”

Wells started forward. “You said if I did what you wanted, you wouldn’t hurt Jesse.”

With a blur of electricity, Zoom was behind him. “Who said I hurt Jesse?” _What has Jesse done? Tried to escape? Tried to fight? Is my daughter dead or alive?_

Zoom growled maliciously, “Your daughter’s alive, Wells. And will stay that way if you do what I ask.”

Harrison Wells felt his knees give way in relief. “What more?” he whispered. “I came here. I got him to fight you. You won. What more? You don’t understand. I need Jesse back.”

Zoom’s low rumble was supremely contemptuous. “You’re lucky to have what you have, old man. Be careful I don’t change my mind. Your daughter dies unless you steal me the Flash’s speed.”

 _What?_ “Why couldn’t you do it yourself? You stole Garrick’s!”

In a shower of sparks, Zoom shot forward, pinning him to the wall. “DON’T ASK QUESTIONS!”

Wells nodded, gulping. “I’ll do it.” _Allen for Jesse. A small price to pay._ Zoom released him and disappeared as Harrison Wells slid down the wall, utterly defeated.

* * *

**_ Jesse _ **

Jesse had never seen Harrison Wells this beaten and exhausted. He had knocked on her door just before sunrise, when she was dressing her wounds as best she could, since Caitlin was asleep when she called. She had known his face instantly. It was the one Thawne had worn in the weeks after the explosion, whenever he thought she couldn’t see him. Her double’s father was in trouble, and if he was knocking on her door, he was coming to ask for something.

Jesse ushered him inside wordlessly. He composed himself on an armchair, his head and spine sagging. “You need my help. What for?”

“To save my daughter from Zoom. I’ve thought, and I’ve thought, and there’s only one way.”

She nodded. “I’ll talk to Barry for you, keep him from being too mad. What did Zoom ask you to do?”

Wells slumped. “To steal his speed. I’m telling you so that you can tell Barry why I left and what I’ve done.”

 _What?_ “I don’t understand. How can you defeat Zoom without him?”

He gripped her arm, just above the elbow. “I’m not going to defeat Zoom.”

She pulled away and got up, backing away. “N-no. You can’t just give up.”

His face as he looked up towards her was twisted with pain. “He has my daughter.”

Jesse swallowed. _It’s time. Now or never. I’ve got to tell him, so I can do_ something _to save someone._ Her voice was barely audible. “What if he didn’t? Would you fight him if he didn’t have your daughter?” Wells nodded, but didn’t seem to understand what she was suggesting.

“Jesse--he has my daughter. To save her, I have to defeat him. There is no situation where I save my daughter without defeating Zoom or giving in.”

 _Here goes._ “What if--you didn’t have to do either? What if you could get your daughter back--by tricking him?”

Wells looked bewildered for a second, then comprehension dawned across his face. She could see his mind analyzing the possibilities--with her powers and training, Jesse-1 could resist Zoom in a situation where Jesse-2 was helpless. Zoom wouldn’t be able to blackmail Wells anymore, because if they could find some device that could send signals across the breach, Wells could signal Jesse-1 to escape if needed. And if some sort of inter-breach communication could work, then they could plant a recording device on Jesse to pick up information on Zoom’s whereabouts and plans. Nobody would be the wiser. The only difference between Jesse-1 and Jesse-2 was Jesse-1’s powers. And if Jesse-2 wore a suppressor bracelet (Jesse-1 had several, although she rarely wore them), nobody would question her lack of super-strength. He protested weakly, “I can’t let you sacrifice yourself.”

She knew it wasn’t true. He and Thawne were similar in a single respect: they would do anything to save their daughter.

Jesse smiled across at Wells as bravely as she could. “It’s not a sacrifice. I can win this.” He nodded. He must have seen her face and known that she was afraid and lonely, because he pulled her into an embrace.

“Thank you,” he whispered into her hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time: Hunter is creepy (still!) and Harry is starting to feel guilty...


	14. Caitlin, Hunter, Harry

_**Caitlin** _

When Caitlin woke up, she was alone. _Thank goodness. I don’t think I could fool him again._ She collected Jay’s blankets from the couch and folded them at the foot for when he came back. Then she made her way to work.

Ever since she had started helping Jay, Caitlin had inherited some of his worrying tendencies. So she never walked to or from work, but took a different bus route each day, going far out of her way to avoid being followed. She was constantly glancing over her shoulder, surveying the occupants of the bus. Usually, nobody took her exact route--why would they? But today there was a man in a hooded sweatshirt, three rows behind her, taking her route, waiting at her stops, always behind her. She had tried to see his face, but he kept it hidden in the shadows. _Stay calm. Breathe._ She got off a stop early and started briskly walking in random directions, twisting and turning, watching out of the corner of her eye as he closed the distance between them.

She must have taken at least three bad turns. There she was, cornered in an alley. He was advancing openly now. _Fight or flight...fight or flight._ Caitlin had won the silver medal on her middle school track relay. _Flight it is._ She took off at a sprint, dodging past him at the last second, trying not to hear his footfall behind her or the pounding of her heart, and hoping with all her might and main that he wasn’t a meta. She rocketed out of the alley, picking a direction at random. To all the world, she was just a jogger out for a morning run. But it had been too long since middle school, and she was getting winded fast. Slowing imperceptibly, Caitlin scanned a shop window to see if she had lost him. No, there he was, gaining on her, running with an ease and grace that she envied and feared. Caitlin bolted, driving her legs like pistons, running with every ounce of strength in her body, throwing herself into her stride. Her throat was tightening, and she could feel her stomach cramping up. The pursuer yelled something at her, but it floated away on the wind, drowned out by her frantic heartbeat and ragged breathing. If she had been in a neighborhood she knew well, Caitlin could have found somewhere to hide. But she was hopelessly lost, running blindly, careening past stop lights and dodging cars. _Did I pass that cross-street before?_ Caitlin felt desperately for her phone before realizing that she’d dropped her bag when she took off to ensure that it wouldn’t encumber her. _Stupid!_

He was ten feet behind her. She tried to force more out of her legs, but she tripped heavily over her high heel, twisting her ankle painfully. She hobbled to her feet, trying to push through the pain, but now he was three feet away, his arms stretching out...

“Cait, what’s going on? Why did you run from me?” said Jay from within the hood. His arm seized hers firmly. She panted, feeling nauseous. “Every time we meet, you run or squirm or something. I swear, if you forget that you can trust me every time I’m not there, I’m not going to let you out of my sight anymore!” Caitlin tried to speak, but her throat felt as if she had swallowed a pound of sand, and her breath was coming in wheezes. She’d momentarily forgotten that she had quit track for minor asthma problems. “Cait, when you can talk, I swear I’m going to make you promise you’ll never run from me again. I’m not someone you should be afraid of.” Jay moved in the direction of a nearby bus stop, but stopped as Caitlin winced. “You hurt yourself when you fell.” It was a statement, not a question, but she nodded anyway. The hand clutching her lungs had begun to loosen. He draped her arm around his shoulder, guiding her to a bench and taking her weight on his. Caitlin gratefully wheezed in large gasps of the icy morning air. 

Finally, she regained her ability to speak. “Oh, no, I’m going to be late to work. I really should hurry.” His hands were pulling off her shoe, probing the ankle lightly. Her sentence ended in an upward twist of pain as his fingers found the injured area. 

Jay grabbed her shoulder. “Cait, call Wells and tell him you sprained your ankle on the way to work and you don’t know if you can make it today.” Her mouth opened in protest, but he cut her off before the syllables could form. “I think he can lose one scientist for one day, Cait.”

She shook her head. “We’re short handed at the lab as is. And if anything goes wrong, long-distance phone service in Star is still patchy, so he can’t get in touch with Barry. I can’t leave him alone to defend the lab! What if there’s an attack?”

“Okay, Caitlin, you have two options. In option A, you call Wells right now and tell him what I told you to say; you stand up to him, no matter what he says, and get yourself a much-needed day off. In option B, you choose not to call Wells to tell him you’re going to need a day off. But, you still do not go to work. There is no way I am putting you in a metahuman attack zone with a sprained ankle.”

 _I’m a doctor. He’s not._ “Can I see my ankle?” Jay handed it across to her, holding it as gingerly as he could. Caitlin felt an intense twinge of pain and bit her lip. “Grade 1 inversion,” she noted after several minutes passed. “I’ll be fine in a bit. None of the significant tendons were damaged.” 

“Cait, if you try to go to work, I am not going to let you.” She pulled away from his grip.

“Jay, I'm fine. I’m capable of deciding when I am medically fit to go to work.” He pursed his lips. 

“Fine, Cait. You don’t have to call Wells.” She sighed and relaxed. Jay gave her a few seconds of false security before he brandished her phone from his pocket, holding her at bay with his free hand. He must have picked my bag up when I ran away. Deepening his voice slightly, he dialed STAR Labs. “Hello, this is Dr. Borden with Central City Hospital. I’m just calling to let you know that I have a patient here, a Dr. Caitlin Snow, who’s listed you as her primary emergency contact. No, Dr. Snow’s okay, but she has sprained her ankle, and I’m recommending that she head home immediately. Yes, that is my professional opinion as a physician. No, I just moved here. Thank you for your time, Dr. Wells.” She tried not to laugh, but it was very hard.

“You need to stop doing things like that. I’m not fragile.”

He gazed at her seriously. “I know you’re not, Cait. But for some reason, you push yourself. Some days, I swear you run faster than Barry. Putting yourself in danger, refusing to accept help--you are _so_ afraid of looking weak, Caitlin. You can’t ever admit you’ve had enough. So--look, think of me as an independent judge, here to tell you that taking care of Barry is well and good--so long as you don’t abandon yourself. Enough is enough. Do what you want, Cait, what you need for once. And if you pay attention to yourself every so often, you’ll be better able to help Barry and Cisco, and even Wells. I don’t exactly know why you’re so afraid of being vulnerable once in a while. It’s not a bad thing, Cait.” Softly talking to her, as if he were trying to quiet a skittish horse, Jay helped Caitlin gingerly onto the bus. She leaned her head against the window and looked out at the landscape, feeling numb and cold. After a while, she gently rocked her head back against his shoulder. _It’s good to feel safe. It really is._

Really.

* * *

**_ Hunter _ **

_Why did she have so much pride?_ It was the only thing keeping them apart. Her pride--and also Ronnie Raymond, but Hunter couldn’t fix that. 

Every time she ran from him or recoiled from him, he worried for a split second that she knew his secret. He was always running after Cait. She was like some sort of exotic caged bird--she would make wild, desperate efforts to get free, sometimes hurting herself or the people around her, then she would relax, exhausted, sweet and affectionate for a time, almost childlike. 

Right now, she was quiet against him, barely stirring. What was passing through that mind of hers? Did she know that running wasn’t changing anything, that he would always come for her? He just wished Caitlin wouldn't hurt herself. 

She had tried to refuse his help. Months, and nothing had changed--when Cait needed something, she tried to do it herself. It was like she was afraid of needing anyone. She was afraid of the way he needed her, but also the way she had needed Ronnie.

It was maddening, and there was nothing Hunter could do. She had to come to him, not the other way around. He wanted, more than he had ever wanted anything, to stop waiting, to make her see that she needed him. But Caitlin had to come to that herself, or else she’d never accept it.

He wanted Caitlin to love him, but still remain Caitlin. Hunter knew he could make her subject herself entirely to him, quiet her own impulses under his guidance. But it would always be him making her do it. She had never chosen him, put his will over hers.

She had to need him, not just quietly consent to having him around. More than anything, he wished he could wear down her resistance enough that she would stop running from him, stop being afraid of him. When she had thought he was weak, she had come to him, bringing herself. She had approached him without fear. Now, she ran from him at every turn.

This wouldn’t last forever. Caitlin would come to him soon. He just hoped she didn’t kill herself trying to avoid it.

* * *

**_ Harry _ **

Snow couldn’t have picked a better day to sprain her ankle. Wells had frantically been trying to brainstorm how to keep her out of the lab today. There was a possibility of her joining Allen and Ramon in Star City for a few days, but Wells and Jesse needed all the time they could get to try and create inter-Earth communication devices. The ankle was a godsend. With Snow taking a day off, he only had to waste the next day pretending everything was okay before sending her to Star City to become the Arrow’s problem.

Jesse flopped down at a workstation. “The trouble is,” she complained, “that vibrations are how we wirelessly communicate here--radio, TV--and so the frequencies get scrambled by the breach!” Despite the grim nature of their work, Jesse seemed excited to be in the lab. _Perhaps it makes her feel like she’s equal to the others_. She didn’t seem to realize the gravity of what they were doing, the thousand ways it could go wrong. If she didn’t know, he wasn’t about to tell her. It was kinder that way.

He felt sick about how blithely unaware she was, the things Zoom could do to her. But Wells had to steel his resolve. _Whatever I imagine her going through is what I’m saving my daughter from._ That excuse was feeling flimsier by the moment. What was happening to his Jesse was Zoom’s doing. What happened to this one was his. _She volunteered._ But he was the one who had allowed her to. He had accepted a sacrifice that shouldn’t be made, that was made without full knowledge of what she was getting herself into. 

_I promised Tess I’d take care of Jesse_. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a brief reminder that Hunter is really creepy, and totally horrible, so people don't start to think I'm supporting how he acts. Next time: Things come to a head between Hunter and Caitlin.   
> As always, I love to hear what people think of this! I have this series written up to 2x22, and once Flashpoint airs, I'll probably continue writing with the new info in mind (trying to decide between two alternate endings!) Hope people are willing to continue reading it that long! (if not, please tell me nicely!)


	15. Caitlin, Hunter, Harry

_**Caitlin** _

Caitlin really didn’t like lying to Jay. The V-6 was almost ready, and all she could think about was how to keep him from discovering her duplicity. She should be elated--she had singlehandedly cracked the formula that had baffled the finest scientists of Earth-2. But everywhere Caitlin went, she thought she heard Jay’s footsteps. She felt his eyes on her back constantly. Even when they were together, she felt uncomfortable around him. Caitlin missed the trust between them. Something about the way Jay looked at her made her feel a blind urge to tell him everything, to ask for his forgiveness, for him to tell her it was okay. But then the same insidious thought would always creep through her head. _Ronnie didn't keep things from me like this. Ronnie knew I was mature enough to handle anything._ Some days, Caitlin felt like Jay saw her as his pet, someone who he cared about and wanted to protect, someone devoted to him, but not someone who was his equal. _He trusted me to save his Earth_ , another part of her mind contended. _Did he?_ she answered, _or did he trust you, in his own words, to do what he told you and not tell anyone?_

Were they partners, or was she his tool? Caitlin only knew one way to find out, but carrying it out made her uncomfortable. _Doesn’t that data support a conclusion that I’m not in control of my role in his plan?_ But she had agreed to help him, and part of that included doing what he said. Besides, why should he tell her about Velocity? It wasn’t as if she told him everything about Ronnie, as if she’d confided in him about her parents. _But that isn't pertinent, and he hasn't asked. This is important._

The experiment was simple. If she was his equal, then he wouldn’t mind her having her own ideas and opinions. If he thought he was controlling her, then her betrayal would shock him. _I don’t want to hurt him...this is the only way I can figure it out._ But Caitlin was nervous. She didn't want him to find out about the Velocity serum, but she knew that he would, and that he had to. Otherwise, how could she trust him again? Suddenly, she looked up from her workstation to hear Jay and Wells shouting at each other. While she had been panicking, her fears had begun to unfold. He caught her eye, and the pain she saw in his face wilted her. Caitlin put her head down to her work and waited for it to be over. Finally, she couldn’t take it. She scooped up her equipment and retreated to Cisco’s workshop, resting her hands on the table and breathing hard. _He’s coming, he’s going to be upset, why did I do this?_ She sat down and tried to clear her head. 

Jay opened the door a few minutes later. 

“Caitlin.” She pretended not to hear him. He tried again. “Caitlin.” There was a palpable hurt in his voice. _Why? Why did I do this?_ “Caitlin, I know you can hear me. I’m literally two feet away from you.” His hands grabbed her chair roughly and turned her to face him. She moved to get up, but he pinned her down forcefully. “No, Cait. That’s not how this works. You can’t just run away. Now, we’re going to sit here and you’re going to tell me the truth.” _I shouldn’t have lied to him. I hate being lied to. Why would I do that to someone else?_ He shook the chair, jarring her teeth. “Caitlin, this is more dangerous than you know. Why did you do it? I warned you that creating the Velocity serum was going to hurt Barry, but you listened to Wells, and did what he said. He used you, Caitlin!”

This was too much. Caitlin wanted to scream at him, to explain how frightened she was of the control he had over her, but she knew that fighting fire with fire was a sure recipe for third-degree burns. Instead she composed herself, taking a deep breath. “Honestly, Jay, I didn’t feel comfortable refusing to formulate V-6 when you were so unclear about what its dangers were. I’m sorry I lied to you. That wasn’t right, but I think you’re overreacting. As for Wells using me, I think I’ve been used all along. You don’t treat me like an equal, Jay. So maybe I would have been better off not helping with V-6. But, ultimately my job as a doctor is to advise people on the options they have. Barry has this option. It’s my job to let him know it’s available. I can warn him that there may be dangerous side effects; I can run tests to try and determine what those may be. But I would be lying if I didn’t tell him that V-6 was a possible solution to Zoom. It’s not a choice I can make for him--deciding the risk is too much.” She trailed off, realizing that he barely seemed to be listening to her. His eyebrows were furrowed quizzically.

“What do you mean, I don’t treat you like an equal?”

She explained as patiently as she could, “Jay, you give me orders and I follow them. You control almost every aspect of my life. And you don’t seem to think I’m mature enough to handle things on my own. Right now, you’ve got me _physically pinned to a chair_ because you disagree with a decision I’ve made. Yesterday, you decided I needed you to take care of me when I hurt myself. When you asked me to help, it was predicated on the idea that I would do as I was told. I have opinions, and I make my own decisions. You didn’t tell me why V-6 was dangerous, so I chose not to blindly follow your orders to sabotage it. I’m not your tool, Jay. Even if Wells used me, so did you. Now please let me up. You’re hurting my arms, and I think I’ve explained myself enough.”

He released her, standing aside from his position in front of her chair. Caitlin got up, striding for the door with as much dignity as she could muster. Jay spoke from behind her. “Please,” he said, so quietly she thought she might have imagined it, “don’t go, Cait. Let me explain.” She hesitated, her hand draped over the door handle, her face turned back towards him and her feet firmly pointed away. Jay was perched miserably on her desk, his face turned down and his back slumped. For a second, Caitlin wondered if he was using her again. Then she crossed the room to sit back down in the chair, placing her hand gently over his. 

“Tell me,” she said. He looked gratefully into her eyes and took a deep breath.

“My parents died when I was very young. I grew up in an orphanage. I--I’ve never understood--known how to deal with people. Even when I became the Flash, there was nothing but that, no reason to take off the suit. Why be Jay Garrick? Jay Garrick was a lonely physicist with nothing to get out of bed for but his experiments. The Flash was a hero, and crimefighting is addictive, and it eats up more and more of your life. But the suit--it creates this distance, this sense of awe. People respected me, but I didn’t have friends. I care about you, Caitlin, more than I have ever cared about anyone. And I respect you so much, more than you could ever imagine. You are a brilliant scientist, and brave, but more than that, you are the first person on this Earth that reached out to me. You were in so much pain, and yet you tried to ease mine. You saw Jay Garrick as someone worth being. I owe you so much, and I don’t know how to repay you. And I’ve been trying to be there for you, to help you. Caitlin, I wish you would have told me that you thought those things. Nothing could be further from the truth, even if I don’t do a good job of showing that.”

Caitlin didn’t know what to say. He paused, as if himself searching for words. Then, he placed his free hand lightly on her cheek, turning her face gently towards his. “Stay,” he whispered. Caitlin didn’t know if it was a command, a question, or a plea. But she nodded and scooted slightly towards Jay, wrapping her arms around him as she moved to sit next to him. He lifted her off the table to stand on the ground, strained her close, and buried his face in her shoulder.

They were still standing like that when the shot went off.

* * *

**_ Hunter _ **

So that was the secret. Caitlin would come quietly if she knew he needed her. She was afraid of being trapped, loving him without being loved, of surrendering her will and never getting it back. 

He had asked her to stay and she had stayed. He had let her go and she had come back to him. _Now it’s just a matter of time._

It did worry him that she had worked with Wells. He would have to start keeping Wells busier. Hunter could barely stand to watch her with Cisco and Barry. He had to be careful--he had moved too fast, asked for too much from her. It had been a mistake not to give her a good story about the V-6. His only excuse was that something in him was sick of lying to Caitlin.

One day, her love for him would be so complete that he wouldn’t have to worry about her finding out his true self. But he had to wait for that day to come. If he bent Caitlin too fast, tried to win her without making sure she was ready to give in, he would break her. She would love him, but she wouldn’t be Caitlin. Just a slavishly devoted puppet. He wanted her to give up her true self to him without a fight so that he wouldn’t have to hurt her. 

Always fighting, always running. People said that about Barry. But it wasn’t true of him--Barry’s entire existence was one long cry for help, a plea for someone to need him, to make him stop running. He was the Flash because Barry Allen wasn’t wanted. He ran to find peace.

Caitlin was more aggravating. Everything she could possibly want was right under her nose, and she chose not to see it, chose to flee from happiness. He didn’t understand why.

* * *

**_ Harry _ **

Wells was delirious. _Am I dying?_ She had shot him--the blonde detective had shot him in mistake for the other Wells. _No_. She’d thought it was the other Wells, but she had meant Thawne. She had shot him in mistake for Thawne, who had confessed to Nora Allen’s murder as Wells. Barry’s friend, Joe’s partner, Iris’ boyfriend-- _no, that was the one before her_ \--Mardon killed her father. Her name was Spivot. Spivot Patty? _No, Patty Spivot. Am I dying?_ If he was dying, maybe they’d send for Jesse. But which one would come?

Why was he conscious? _Oh. Snow switched my medication. It’s dulling the pain, but not my mind._ So that meant surgery was over. _I’m not dying. Why am I alive?_ The way the bullet had entered, there was no way Snow got it out successfully. And she was a good enough doctor to keep him unconscious unless the danger was over. Voices drifted into his reverie, as if heard once and remembered, or heard faintly from far away.

“Cait, you can’t tell him...”

“Don’t worry. I got my education today.”

“You’re a doctor. You took an oath. You can’t give Barry something you know could hurt him. And you know Barry will take it. So if you tell Barry, that’s practically as good as giving to him.”

“Taken hostage a female student...We have yet to identify her...why she was specifically targeted.”

“What if you could get your daughter back--by tricking him?”

“At least wait. We know now it isn’t perfect. Don’t tell him until you get it perfect.”

“DON’T ASK QUESTIONS!”

“But he won’t be fast enough if Zoom comes back. There’s no other way. He’s training and it isn’t helping.”

“I do...”

“We’re ready to turn it on, sir.”

“At least save it for a doomsday scenario. Don’t tell him unless Zoom comes back.”

“Jesse--Jesse Quick...she’s gone. It’s just us.”

“Fine. I’ll wait. You did save Wells...”

“Harry, keep her safe. You two can be happy together...you were always so alike...she idolizes you...”

“Dad, please, come out!”

He felt cool hands on his forehead. “He’s going to hurt himself if he keeps on thrashing around.”

Then oblivion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay for Caitlin sticking up for herself! (Boo for Hunter being a manipulative creep!) Just to clarify--the Hunter portion is his thoughts immediately before the shot goes off (i.e. he's not thinking that while they're trying to save Harry's life!)  
> The dialogue Harry hears is a mix of quotes from the show's flashbacks, previous conversations in this fic, the conversation Hunter and Caitlin are having by his bedside, and other flashbacks I'll be fully delving into later.  
> Next time: Jesse is suspicious, and Cisco has to do a lot of damage control. Features a guest appearance from Patty Spivot.  
> As always, thanks for reading!


	16. Jesse, Cisco

_**Jesse** _

Jesse couldn’t take it anymore. She couldn’t watch that--liar--worm his way into her best friend’s trust. Jay Garrick couldn’t have had his speed stolen by Zoom. If Zoom could steal speed, he would have stolen Barry’s. Caitlin barely had any time for Jesse anymore. Which was fine, in some ways, because Jesse didn’t want her friend to see the trans-earth communicator prototypes littering her desk. But Jesse knew what it was like to learn that someone you cared about lied to you. If she could stop her friend from experiencing that, she would. That was why she had gone to Star City. 

She called Cisco’s cell from just outside his current location, which seemed to be the campaign office of Barry’s friend Ollie. The vigilantes here were privacy nuts, and for good reason. Cisco picked up. “Hellllllllooo, Jesse! Whazzup!”

She smiled. “Hey, Cisco. I wanted to ask your advice.”

“Ask him out. Unless he’s ugly or stupid.”

Jesse laughed; of course Cisco thought she meant something like that. “No, it’s about Caitlin. Cisco, I’m worried. I was thinking, and I couldn’t figure out why Zoom didn’t steal Barry’s speed. The only theory I could come up with is that he couldn’t, which means that unless Zoom randomly lost that ability, Jay’s lying. All medical evidence can tell us is that he had the Speed Force and he lost it. So I’m not sure if I should tell Caitlin, and since you know her really well, I thought you could tell me what to do.”

He laughed. “Whoa, there. Slow down, Jesse. There’s a lot more options than the one you put forward. Maybe, Zoom didn’t steal Barry’s speed because he wanted to wait until Barry got more powerful? Or maybe Zoom can only steal speed on Earth-2, or from an Earth-2 native.”

She scoffed, angrily. “Cisco, that sounds ridiculous.”

“Does it? Cause to me, it doesn’t sound any more ridiculous than the stuff you were saying. Listen, Cait’s loyal and touchy, which is a fairly lethal combo. She really doesn’t like people badmouthing her friends. No matter what she personally believes, she’ll go to bat for someone who she thinks is being attacked. She may think your argument makes sense, but since it implicates Jay, she’s gonna put her fingers in her ears and start singing.”

“But if it’s true, doesn’t she deserve to know it?”

Cisco considered for a second. “It depends. If Jay’s really lying, I doubt you want to tip him off that you’re onto him. If you tell Caitlin, she’ll want to ask him. I remember when we told her about Thawne. She went right to his door and knocked. Barry practically had to drag her away, and she yammered all the while about letting him answer the accusations against him. You tell her, Jay hears, Jay talks her out of suspecting him. She’s got to figure it out herself, otherwise she won’t listen. That is my professional opinion as her bestie. I’m sorry, Jesse.”

Jesse swallowed hard. “Thanks.”

* * *

**_ Cisco _ **

Cisco sat uncomfortably across the table from Barry’s girlfriend, Patty. She stared at him with piercing blue eyes. _Why is it my job now to keep Barry’s life from falling apart?_ He’d been dropping off the newest upgrade to the Boot when she’d grabbed him by the elbow and dragged him to an interrogation room. Cisco had been understandably frazzled. 

“Wait, don’t you have to arrest me for something first?” 

Patty giggled. “No, Cisco. You’re not in trouble. I just wanted to talk to you, in private.”

This was very bad. He tried to make himself a way out. “Well, that’s very cool...but I don’t really think...we have much to talk about...since we...don’t have really a lot in common. Um, I think Barry’s gonna...explode if he sees me anywhere near you...and anyway, that’s two-way glass, so anyone could be listening in...can I go now?”

Patty let out a golden laugh, throwing her head back. Leaning forward comfortably, she rested her chin in her cupped hands and her elbows on the table, grinning widely. “Oh,” she said seriously, “I’m not hitting on you or anything like that. I mean, I don’t mean that as an insult, but um--no, it’s actually about Barry. And before you say anything, I locked the door to the room on the other side of the two-way glass.”

Cisco mentally sighed. Of course it was about Barry. _Dude is gonna owe me big for this._

“Um...what about Barry?” 

She looked at him, saying with genuine curiosity, “Do you know what takes up so much time of his? I mean, he writes reports and does analyses faster than basically any other CSI, like, ever. But he’s always busy, and things come up at the last moment and--well, I don’t know if you know this, but--have you seen how many bruises he gets? I mean, with his skin type, it makes sense he might bruise easily, but it looks like he ran legs-first into a brick wall, but--there was some sort of pillow to absorb most of it? And then he heals up, really fast, or there’s two of him, or something, because the next day, they’re gone. And--well--again, there’s literally like no way you’d know this, but he gets these nightmares, and he hits things sometimes. I thought maybe that was the bruises, but I’ve watched, and he, like, never hits himself. And he’s always going to STAR Labs--well, sort of--he says he’s going to the grocery store, but I tailed him on three separate occasions. But it would make more sense if he were going to the grocery store, because he eats, like, more than a pro wrestler. But he never exercises or gains weight. Cisco, what don’t I know?”

 _Oh no. How do I fix this?_ Cisco blurted out the only thing he could think of. “He gets nightmares? But how would you--oh. Congrats to you two!” 

Patty blushed. “It’s been about three weeks. We thought about moving in together, but he didn’t want to leave Joe, and well--how awkward would it be if I lived there?” Cisco snickered at the image.

“So Joe doesn’t know?” 

She laughed merrily. “Well, I don’t think Barry has exactly sat him down--but I know that Joe’s a good detective, so he probably gets it. Must be a bit of dejá vu for him, what with--” She trailed off. 

Trying to break the awkward silence and dispel the image of Eddie Thawne’s final moments from his head, Cisco stammered, “Um, honestly Barry’s always been a bit of a mystery. You could try Joe’s daughter, Iris. She knows him the best. But, um, he doesn’t really tell me much.”

Her eyes narrowed. “But you’re kind of the same as him, Cisco. You don’t have a normal schedule, and you spend a lot of time at STAR Labs. And you two are generally gone at the same times.”

Cisco got up. “Honestly, Detective, I don’t think I can help you. I would talk to Barry directly. Maybe he’ll be honest with you.”

She nodded. “Sorry to put you in an awkward situation, Cisco. You’ve been very helpful.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I can hardly wait for next week's premiere!  
> Next time in this fic: Caitlin gets a lesson, and Harry makes a tough call. This update is pretty short, so I'm posting 2 chapters!


	17. Caitlin, Harry, Cisco

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, brief disclaimer: I pretty much googled "self-defense for women" to get the information in this chapter. So basically none of this is accurate, probably. And I just made up the flip. I just thought Hunter would end the session by displaying how powerless she was.

_**Caitlin** _

Caitlin was glad that she and Jay had worked things out. They had become more open with each other than ever. She was more comfortable telling him when he crossed lines. However, that was _not_ the case at the moment. Caitlin felt unnerved by him teaching her how best to hold off an attacker. The exercise required him to pretend to attack her, and while he seemed to have no problems with that--in fact, he’d been badgering her to let him teach her ever since her ankle healed--she couldn’t stop wondering what would happen if someone saw them fighting. Cisco, for instance. Given how long it had taken to get Cisco to tolerate Jay, it would be very, very bad if Cisco were to walk in on them sparring. They’d decided to do it at her house instead of the lab, but Cisco was over often. Jay didn’t seem to be planning to bar any holds, and he’d instructed her to only pull her punches at the last second. She looked up at him nervously, but he didn’t seem to realize her discomfort.

“Alright, Cait. We’ll start without the ridiculous shoes. Since you wear them all the time, you’ll need to know how to fight in them, but to start they’ll be a bother.” She obediently slipped out of her heels. “Okay, so we’re just going to begin very simply. I’m going to grab your wrist, and you’re going to break my grip.” Caitlin nodded, presenting him her arm. He grabbed it crushingly. She could feel the pressure on her tendons. _Where’s the vulnerability_ _point_? Scanning her knowledge of carpal anatomy for useful insight, she rotated her wrist within his grip so that the edge of her wrist aligned with the point where his thumb and forefinger touched. Caitlin wrenched with all her might and main, but wound up losing her balance and toppling. Jay chuckled, giving her a hand up. “Nice try, but next time, step back on your heels, bend your knees, and pull from the elbow.”

They worked all day. By the time night fell, Caitlin had learned ways to escape being grabbed from front and behind (the wrist technique, as well as running her heels down an opponent’s shins), ways to quickly disable an attacker (kick to the knee, heel of the hand to the nose or chin, jab to the eye, knife hand to the side of the neck), ways to get back up when knocked down, how to maneuver an attacker away from an exit, how to trick an attacker into letting her go by going limp, how to fall so as to minimize pain, and a plethora of other information. “Jay,” she asked, panting from being floored for the seventeenth time in thirty minutes, “this isn’t much like the hand-to-hand that the Arrow uses.”

Jay grinned, pouring them each a cold glass of water. “Okay, Cait, get comparisons to the Arrow out of your head. He’s not fighting for his life, so he can afford to be finicky about hurting his attacker. In your case, you need to get out as fast as possible, not display your martial arts prowess.” She laughed, moving in closer to him. He downed the last remnants of his glass of water and headed back to the mat. “C’mon, let’s go one more round.”

Caitlin sighed, feeling the ache in her back and the damp sweatiness of her skin. Setting her water on the counter for later, she moved towards him. “I’m tired,” she groaned.

He smiled, rocking back and forth on his feet as if to flaunt his energy. “Yeah, you think people wait until you’re feeling rested to fight you? That’s only crazy speed maniacs who are concerned with beating the Flash for the sake of beating the Flash. Anyone who’s fighting you has a reason, which means they want to beat you and will take any advantage they can get.” He punctuated his words by grabbing her wrists, crossing them, and pulling her forearms back towards her head, standing behind her so that her own arms trapped her. She mimed a kick to his knee and he let one side go, but pivoted on his good foot, catching her off balance by driving his free arm into her back. Caitlin was knocked off her feet, flipping into the air. She tried to rotate herself to fall and roll, but Jay had hold of one of her hands. As she came crashing down, he caught her, twisting her arms behind her back and pinning them there in an impossible knot, flattening her on top of them so that her own weight prevented her from extricating herself, and knocking her legs from under her. She fell heavily, out of breath, and he pulled her up. “Something like that’s what you have to watch out for. In the air, you’re practically a sitting duck, because you don’t have anything to leverage your weight off of. That particular takedown both effectively stopped you from resisting further and cushioned your landing so you didn’t hurt yourself.”

“How do I avoid that?”

He grinned. “Keep your feet on the ground, Cait. How are you doing?”

Caitlin leaned her side against the wall; Jay stood behind her. “I don’t know how I’m going to explain these bruises when we get back to the lab.”

His tone sounded concerned. “Show me.” She displayed the splotches beginning along her arms. Jay buried his face in her hair and whispered gently in her ear, “You can cover that up.” Gently, he turned her face towards him, scanning intently for signs of bruising. His face inched closer to hers, his hands moving down her neck and shoulders, towards her back when--

 _Ronnie_. All of a sudden, it was as if he was there. If she closed her eyes, she could see his face. His laughter echoed behind her. She remembered working late, coming home late at night to find her door ever-so-slightly off its hinges. Ronnie had (as he told her later) been looking for her all night, trying to find out which of Central City’s nighttime hangouts she frequented. They’d been teamed on a subproject for months and gotten to know each other. With no one else around, Caitlin had talked freely to Ronnie. But that day had been their last on the project together. He’d picked up his phone to hear her on the other line--she was afraid her home had been burgled, and she wasn’t sure whether it was safe to go in, but she didn’t think she could handle the police. She’d moved to Central six months before; he’d lived there his whole life, but been hired at the lab shortly after her. Ronnie had come over immediately to pick her up and talk her out of trying to go in before morning. He’d driven her to a small, quiet club, because she told him she didn’t like loud noises and hadn’t been to a party since she graduated high school. They had stayed up late, sometimes dancing, sometimes just sitting quietly. He’d thought of driving her to his mom’s house, but when they got outside, his car had been towed for parking too long. They’d walked to his house, since it was closer, but a rainstorm had caught them on the way and they’d had to sprint the last quarter-mile. She beat him there. His house had been quiet, almost sad, not in keeping with what she knew of him. Ronnie had gone up to make her a bed in the attic; Caitlin had turned on the fireplace. He had returned to find her wrapped in his bathrobe, her clothes drying in a small pile in front of the fire. She had been wholly absorbed in detangling her hair, frowning abstractedly as she worked her fingers through the knots. He’d smiled at her and sat down with her, wordlessly helping to sort through the snarls. They’d made quick work of it. When they were done, he’d noticed the water dripping off his own head and shaken himself out like a dog. She’d laughed, looking down shyly. He’d made the first move, cupping her icy hands in his big paws. She remembered wondering how hands so unwieldy and clumsy-seeming could be so capable with tools. Ronnie had kissed her then, as gently as he could, and Caitlin remembered that all she could think was, _I didn’t know he liked me that way_! She’d verbalized that thought when he let her go, but he’d merely raised an eyebrow. “Really, Cait? They must do things different in Coast, then.” He’d paused then, trying to find words. “So--if they do it different in Coast--have I been--misreading?” She hadn’t really understood what he meant for a loaded second. Then realization struck her. “No, you haven’t been.” She had spoken without looking at him, but he had leaned down, gazing up into her eyes in a way no one had before. Impulsively, she’d kissed him, her fear driven away by his warmth. Ronnie tasted like coffee. After she’d drawn back, staring into her lap and twisting at her hair, he’d gotten up awkwardly, to show her the way to the attic, but she’d tugged on his sleeve. “Stay? Let’s talk a little more tonight before we go to sleep.” Ronnie had laughed as if the sky had opened up.

“Caitlin. Cait. What’s going on?” She realized she’d gone stiff, remembering, staring blindly into Jay’s shoulder. He stepped back and let her go, swinging his arms awkwardly. “It’s okay, Cait. I get it. You don’t need to tell me.” His tone was understanding, but she could feel his bitterness and disappointment.

She followed him out to the door. “Jay, I’m sorry. I didn’t know that would happen, I thought it was over--”

He smiled at her with a hint of his old confidence. “It doesn’t matter. I can wait. You’re worth waiting for.” She felt a sob forming in her throat and tears burning her eyes. Caitlin shut the door so that he didn’t have to see her collapse on the other side of it. _What is wrong with me? I thought I was done. Why can’t goodbye be the end_?  
+++  
He didn’t have a choice. He had to tell himself that, or the disgust would overcome him. Wells had thought and thought, and there was no way to overcome the communication issue. Ramon might be able to figure something out, but Ramon couldn’t keep the secret. So there was no chance of communicators, and if Wells couldn’t guarantee that he could keep Jesse Thawne safe, then he couldn’t trade her for his daughter.  
But he had to get his little girl back. He couldn’t leave her in the clutches of that monster, not knowing day-to-day whether she was alive. Which meant Wells had one single option. Trade something else for Jesse. Give Zoom what he demanded.

The Flash’s speed. He hadn’t known before how to extract it, but this could be the key. This dead carcass at his feet would get Jesse back to him.

He had to focus on Jesse, not Allen. Funny how things worked out--before Tess had known she was carrying a daughter, she had suggested Alan as a name. He’d refused.

If he’d known about Tess, he would never have refused her anything.

 _But Allen_ \--He forced the thought from his mind. He couldn’t let himself imagine what Zoom would do to Allen. Don’t be weak. He’s doing it to Jesse. You can’t save everyone. You can save your daughter.

So it came down to Allen or the Thawne girl ( _Jesse? Jesse-Prime? Jesse II? Jesse-2? He still wasn’t sure_ ). And of the two, Harrison Wells had a preference. That was all.

He had to kill one. He’d made his choice. Besides, he hated to think of the vengeance Zoom would exact if he found out he had the wrong Jesse.

If he saved Allen, it might kill both Jesses. If he saved Jesse Thawne, Allen would die. But that would be the end. Zoom would get bored without a speedster to fight. He would leave this Earth alone and go terrorize a different one. Can’t you see (here he addressed an imaginary Allen), _by dying you save everyone. One loss, and it’s all over. The bravest thing you could do_. Imaginary Allen was unconvinced.

Wells squatted down and began to work on the body.

* * *

**_ Cisco _ **

Cisco couldn’t believe he was thinking this again, but there was something wrong with Caitlin. He knew it was kind of obsessive that he was always worried about her, but he was barely in touch with his family. Cait (after hearing Barry call her Caitie, Cisco was looking for an opening to try that one out on her) and Barry were the two constants in his life. And Barry had a humongous overload of people in his life trying to care about him--Joe, Iris, Henry, Patty--hell, at one point, Barry had been juggling three father figures at once, while also dealing with girlfriend issues. And sure, Cisco knew Caitie had Jay (okay, that sounded weird--better go back to the Caitlin-nicknames drawing board), but they didn’t seem to be speaking. Cisco really didn’t want to try and imagine why. He could think of about fifteen million reasons, and he wasn’t sure which one was the worst.

But now Caitlin was spending time in the lab instead of time with Jay. Lots of time in the lab, and the worst part was that she was staring at Jay’s initial test results. _Is that the doctor equivalent of sniffing a shirt after a breakup_? He’d come in one day to find that she’d scribbled all the way down the board, filled the whole floor, and begun to adorn the walls with complicated calculations Cisco didn’t understand. Usually, it was integrals and derivatives. This was, like, fifteen-variable algebra, with a standard-deviation and statistical significance calculation combined in. And she’d made tables to chart correspondences between a wide set of factors denoted only by squiggly symbols that might have been Greek. Cisco hated Greek. Alpha and beta were stupid squiggles that were impossible to write. Give him x and y any day.

What was she trying to figure out? He’d asked her, but she’d pretended not to hear him, and then Jay had walked in, and she’d flipped the light switch off and on, and Cisco had realized, feeling dumb, that she’d been using fluorescent ink and a light with extra UV output to write so that Jay wouldn’t catch her. _What is going on_?

Cisco enjoyed worrying about Caitlin. That way, he didn't have to worry about himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time: Caitlin is upset at Hunter, and Jesse gets an intriguing offer. Also, Eobard returns! As always, I really enjoy hearing literally anything you guys have to say!


	18. Caitlin, Jesse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YAY JESSE WILL BE A SPEEDSTER ON FLASH YAY YAY YAY!!! I am so happy right now.

_**Caitlin** _

 

A week after Caitlin told Jay what she knew--that he was dying--he pulled her into the hallway. She broke his hold on her wrist, striding off in the opposite direction. He tapped her shoulder as he caught up to her. “Cait!” Caitlin didn’t want to talk to him. She turned the corner to her laboratory and slammed the door, but he stuck his foot in it. “Cait!” _Don't look back at him._ Jay crouched down by her workstation, putting his hand on hers. “Cait, why are you ignoring me? Is this about the self-defense lesson, or the day after?”

She didn’t look up. _Don’t engage him._ “The day after.” He put a hand on her cheek, trying to turn it towards him, but she set her neck muscles and refused to budge. Jay started to spin her chair towards him, but she stomped on his foot with the heel of her shoe. He pulled his foot back, uttering an injured yelp. Immediately, she regretted attacking him. _He’s dying. Why would I add to his pain?_

Caitlin turned around, biting her lip nervously. “Jay, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.” He smiled.

“Cait, here’s the thing. You don’t like to talk. I get that, but sometimes you have to. I _understand_ that you like to run. You run more often than Barry. But you can’t run from talking about uncomfortable things. _Please_ , Cait. Don’t just ignore me. Tell me what’s going on so we can fix it.” She got up from her chair, perching awkwardly on the desk, looking up into his eyes. _Soon those eyes are going to glaze over_ \--she banished the thought.

“Jay, I understand that this is tricky for you. But I don’t get why you wouldn’t say something. And what I really don’t get is why you don’t want me looking for a cure. You’re a physicist. Just because you couldn’t find a cure doesn’t mean I won’t, so show some optimism!” He sat down in a chair so his eyes were only a little above her level.

“Cait, please tell me you’ve stopped looking.” Jay reached for her hands, pulling them in towards him gently. She couldn’t meet his eyes. “Why, Cait?”

Caitlin swallowed. “Because I don’t believe in giving up, and I know everything can be saved. If Barry and Cisco gave up, Zoom would have taken this Earth. If Jax Jackson gave up, Stein would be dead. If the Arrow and his sister and his friends gave up, the League of Assassins would have overrun Star by now. If--my husband--had given up, he might never have made it back to me, or Eiling might have gotten him, or he might--have decided that what he did wouldn’t help. That it would be useless and stupid.”

Jay clutched her hands convulsively, squeezing the bones together in a never ending grip. “Caitlin, sometimes you have to give in. At a certain point, you can’t win, and so you have to make the best of it, enjoy the time you have instead of blindly searching for more. Now, if Jax had decided he couldn’t save Stein, he would have been wrong, so that example doesn’t even fit. However, if Barry hadn’t fought Zoom when he couldn’t win, Zoom wouldn’t have broken his back. If the Arrow decided he couldn’t save Star, then the people who live there could find somewhere that’s actually safe, and he would stop turning his family and friends into soldiers in an endless war! Cait, his sister is 22! He robbed his own family of any chance at a normal life. If Ronnie had realized that throwing fire at people wasn’t a life, that it was useless and didn’t help, maybe he would have left town, and he’d still be alive today, because your husband died to fix a mess Barry made because he couldn’t, after all these years, let his mother die.”

Caitlin got up, her face stinging as though she had been slapped. “Don’t mention Ronnie,” she said, turning away and walking off. His hold on her hand stopped her abruptly, as if she were a dog on a leash.

He continued, quietly. “There is no cure. I tried. I’m sick of trying. If Barry defeats Zoom in time, I will live. If not, I die. There is no cure. So I don’t want to spend my time watching you scribble under a blacklight for nine hours a day. Caitlin, you have to accept it, and we can focus on helping Barry defeat Zoom.”

She turned around and looked at him then. “Jay, I get that you’re going through a lot. But you don’t have the right to tell me what I should do, and you really shouldn’t tell me what my husband should have done.” Breaking his grip, Caitlin walked away, turning around as she reached the door. “I’m going to find you a cure. That is my job as a doctor. To give people ways to save themselves, even when they don’t want to be saved.”

* * *

**_ Jesse _ **

_He’s back_. It was all she could think. _My father_. She could almost taste the words in the air. _My father, who loves me, is back. He’s here_. But it wasn’t her father. This was a man who hadn’t met her yet, who couldn’t care less about her, who she couldn’t introduce herself to for fear of creating a paradox. Jesse had never seen her father’s real face. And the team was so busy stopping him, they couldn’t let her see him.

The phone rang, and Jesse jumped. But she decided not to answer. It was Caitlin, leaving a message. “Hey, Jesse, I know you wanted to talk to him. Um...we still can’t let you do that. But I’ve sent you over the video feed from Mercury Labs, so at least you can take a look. I’m so sorry, Jesse.” Jesse turned to her computer and found the feed in her inbox.

 _That’s not my dad_. It was all she could think. The stupid-looking blond man on the screen looked more like a distant cousin of Jay Garrick’s than anything else. And watching him threaten Dr. McGee left a sour taste in Jesse’s mouth.

Her father had had a complicated relationship with Dr. McGee. They had dated, once, long before her father met her mother. Then, once they both opened labs in Central, they had become scientific rivals. But they had generally respected each other. When Jesse was younger, Dr. McGee had been the closest thing she had to a mother. Jesse turned off the feed. Her father was sarcastic, and sometimes distant. But even when she had seen him in the pipeline, he had never been--selfish? Evil? What should she even call that?

There was only one way to find out. Quietly, she slipped out of the house and walked a block to STAR Labs. Jesse moved through the hallway, peeking into the Cortex, where the team was assembled around the computers. She opened the pipeline with her father’s override, so it wouldn’t send a signal to the main database. Hiding behind a corner, she observed him.

He wasn’t pacing, or banging, or anything she’d seen captured metas do. Eobard Thawne was poker-straight, staring at the camera in his cell with a smug gleam in his eye. It made Jesse want to vomit. She couldn’t stop seeing how Thawne looked at Dr. McGee as if she wasn’t even human.

_What am I doing? Why am I here? This doesn’t give me closure.  
_

_How do I get closure_?

Thirty minutes later, Jesse knocked on Dr. McGee’s door. It opened. The other woman was clearly taken aback.

“Jesse?”

“Dr. McGee. I heard about the attack today. I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“Of course. Would you like some tea?” Dr. McGee opened the door a little wider.

Jesse nodded gratefully, stepping inside. Dr. McGee’s house was warm, and her sofa was comfortable. Jesse sank down as Dr. McGee returned with two steaming mugs. The tea was aromatic and slightly spicy, but unsweetened. They drank in silence. After a while, Dr. McGee spoke. “It’s so lovely to see you, Jesse. I was hoping you’d come by after your father’s passing, but I understand that it was a busy time. This is a very welcome benefit of today’s frightening adventure!”

Jesse laughed. “Dr. McGee--”

“Call me Tina. For the sake of old times.”

“Tina...I’m so sorry I didn’t come over. It’s been hard to keep in touch with people.”

Tina nodded. “Jesse, I’ve been meaning to ask. What are your plans for the future? I mean, I was obviously shocked by your father’s will, and of course by that recording, as I’m sure you were. Is Mr. Allen planning on giving you a job at your father’s laboratory, and you’ve merely deferred?”

Jesse shook her head, concentrating on the way the mug of tea tingled her cold hands.

“Barry’s close to my father’s original team. And Caitlin and Cisco cover anything I could do.”

“Does Mr. Allen have a vision for the laboratory’s future? It was an odd bequest, to say the least.”

 _Does she know what the lab really does?_ “I’m not sure. Barry and I don’t talk much.”  
Tina pursed her lips disapprovingly. _Maybe she isn’t a big fan of Barry._ “Well, I sincerely doubt Mr. Allen tells much of the truth to anyone!” _Does she know_? “At any rate, Jesse, if you are interested in laboratory work, I would be happy to have you at Mercury Labs. Considering your father seems to have cheated you of your birthright, it seems to be the least I can do. I admire your talent immensely.”

Jesse was indescribably touched. Tina was offering her so much more than a job--a home, family, opportunity. Mistaking her hesitation, Tina put a hand on Jesse’s knee. “If the commute is too much, you can room here. Since my daughter moved to Coast City, the second bedroom is hardly used. You could have your own kitchen--there’s practically a whole other half to the house. I’d take rent out of your salary, mind.”

Jesse laughed. She wanted to accept the offer, so much. But she couldn’t let Harry down. “Tina, this is so generous. I can’t thank you enough. Can I talk to some friends and then get back to you?” The older woman nodded, clearly put out that Jesse hadn’t accepted. “You’re the first person that’s reached out to me like this. I’m almost speechless. But Barry’s legally responsible for me, as I’m sure you know. So I have to get his OK on that.”

Tina was clearly relieved. “Oh, I’ll handle Mr. Allen. You talk to the rest of your friends. One more thing, Jesse. Nobody else believed me, but I swear your father broke into my lab several months ago. Has he tried to contact you in any way?”

Jesse shook her head. “If you see him, tell him I miss him. Then turn him in.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I get that it seems a little weird for Tina to offer Jesse a job that fast, but my backstory for it is that 1. Tina actually hung out with Thawne and Jesse a lot when Jesse was younger, and 2. Jesse is really well known as an up-and-comer in the scientific community, but Tina assumed she could never hire her because her dad owned STAR Labs. So hopefully that makes sense.  
> Next time: Caitlin is afraid, and Harry doesn't understand Jesse.


	19. Caitlin, Harry, Caitlin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Flashpoint tonight! SO EXCITED!!!

_**Caitlin** _

_Cisco’s going to die. The stupid timeline rupture. You can’t fix something--stop Thawne from ruining our lives--without paying. Is that what Jay meant?_

Caitlin had wanted Barry to stop Thawne. She would do anything to fix the damage the Reverse-Flash had wrought. There had been a wordless understanding between her and Barry--they were in this to bring back the people they’d lost. Nora Allen. Eddie Thawne. And Ronnie. 

But it wasn’t worth losing Cisco. Caitlin couldn’t make herself see that it was so many lives for one. Cisco was dying in front of her eyes. _How can I stop this?_ Nobody had known.

 _I hate feeling so helpless._

But now there was a way. Simple, clean, almost elegant. Send Thawne back to his future, thereby accepting it all. Cisco for Ronnie.

 _Let him die._ It was a classic trolley dilemma. Divert fate, change history, kill her friend, save her husband? Or accept the inevitable--that she might be a widow, but she could still save her friend. _I’m a doctor, I save people._ But each would beg her to save the other. Ronnie had gone into the accelerator alone to shut it off; he had thrown her to the ground when Eiling came for him and shielded her with his body, he had flown into the breach with Stein--had he asked her to move somewhere quiet because he knew that he would sacrifice himself again if push came to shove? And then there was Cisco, the brother she had always wanted, who had cried when he’d given up Barry’s identity to save his brother, who worried that his powers were a curse and that one day he’d kill everyone he loved, who had never gotten over locking Ronnie in the particle accelerator, who ran in front of an angry gorilla to save her, who strolled up to Captain Cold and convinced him a vacuum cleaner was a high-tech gun while facing the barrel of a deadly weapon. Neither could live with being saved. But she had to pick one.

When it came to it, it was Barry’s decision. Her job was to learn to accept it. _Like Jay said. Sometimes you have to give up to win._ Cisco was alive. She’d already said goodbye to Ronnie. That was her decision. Now it was time to accept Barry’s.

* * *

**_ Harry _ **

Harrison Wells stared at Jesse, sitting in front of him quietly. She had come to say goodbye, she said. 

“Why are you saying goodbye, Jesse?”

He watched her throat contort as she swallowed. “It’s not for forever, but I’m taking a job at Mercury Labs. I’m still going to work on the communicators. And I need you to know that when you need me, I’ll be ready. But I am _sick_ of sitting at home and trying not to smash things. I am done waiting for night to fall so I can go out, and I am tired of waiting for all of you at my father’s lab to remember that I exist. I have an opportunity to have a new life for a few months before I--”

“--Leave.” He didn’t want to hear her say it. “Of course, Jesse. And you’re free to say no. I can find another way.”

“I want to do this. If I can help, it’s my duty to.” She squared her shoulders self-consciously.  
He leaned towards her. “You don’t owe me anything, Jess.” 

“It’s not about you. My father hurt so many people. These breaches wouldn’t be open if not for him. I have to right his wrongs, fix the problems he made. The things he did, he said he did, at least partially, for me. I can’t just ignore his legacy. I’ve got to pay his debts, help people, to make up for the ones he killed.”

For a moment, Wells wondered what would happen to his Jesse if he died. Would she be ashamed of him? Would she bear the burden of his mistakes? 

“You’re not your father. You don’t bear any responsibility.” He extended a hand slowly towards her hand on the desk. She moved her hand until it was just slightly out of reach. _Why can’t I help this girl? Why can’t she relate to me, just for a second, so I can save her life?_

“If I don’t, then who does? Anyway, it’s my choice, not yours.”

He couldn’t take this anymore. “I could stop you.”

She laughed. Somehow it was an ugly sound. “I’ve got superstrength. You’ve got a stupid gun.”  
“The gun isn’t stupid. And your strength won’t stop Zoom.”

“I’ve seen him on STAR Labs video footage. He holds his trophies up by the neck, so their feet are off the ground. One good kick to his knee, and he’s in enough pain to drop me. Besides, I’m not a killer. I’m a survivor. I’m going to let him yell and scream and hit--”

“Just stop talking!” _Trophy._ He was giving this girl--so cocky, so young--to Zoom, as a trophy. He was letting her do this, pay an impossible price to save his daughter. That monster was going to wipe that beautiful smile off her face; he would wreck her.

What if he couldn’t save his daughter? What if the damage was already done? Could he spare this girl from ever seeing the things his daughter couldn’t unsee?

“--I can take anything. I am the Reverse-Flash’s daughter. Now, do you want me to save your daughter, or not?”

His daughter would never accept this price. How could he tell his little girl that her exact double--a girl she might have been friends with--had died for her? _It would be the same burden this Jesse bears. Trying to atone for a father’s sins. How disgusting. I wanted to make this a better world for Jesse, fix everything I could so that she wouldn’t have to know poverty or hatred or fear. Instead, all I can do is fight a losing battle to keep her from hating me._

“I can’t pay this price. She would never forgive me.” He had dropped to sit at the desk, his head in his hands. For a second, it looked as if she wanted to comfort him. Then she straightened.  
“Let me know when you’re okay with it. It’s not your price. And I’m ready to pay it.”

She walked out. _How is she so blind?_

* * *

**_ Caitlin _ **

This time, when Caitlin heard Jay’s footsteps, she turned her head around towards him and looked up. “Jay. What’s going on?” 

He sat down. “Cait. Why haven’t you given up, yet? How can I help you accept this?”  
 _This again._ “Jay, I’m not interested in talking about--”

“I know. But now, I know why.” She spun her chair around to face him. He grabbed her hands and sat her down next to him on the bench. _I’m going to make him teach me how to break that grip._

“Jay, I--”

He turned her so her back faced him, beginning to rub her shoulders. “Shhhh. You don’t have to talk. It was blind of me not to see it. The reason you don’t want to give up on curing me is that someone gave up on someone you cared about. Is this because Cisco locked Ronnie in the accelerator? You can just nod or shake.”

She shook, looking straight ahead.

Caitlin could feel him deflate behind her. “Oh. Cait, was it Barry? Is it because Barry didn’t try hard enough to find Ronnie?” _Can’t run forever...Little turtle shell...push everyone who cares about you away...do you trust me, Cait?..._

“Jay, can I trust you?” He seemed taken aback.

“Of course.”

 _Here goes._ She didn’t want to look in his eyes, so instead she stared at her fingernails, examining the chip marks, the places where the cuticle had grown out, the calluses that spotted her hands in odd places. “I told you that I nursed my dad through multiple sclerosis. Um, you probably assumed that I meant that my mother and I nursed him through multiple sclerosis. But that’s not what happened. My mother’s name is Carla Tannhauser, and she is a brilliant biomedical engineer. She changed her name to Snow when she married my father, but she didn’t give up her career. He raised me, practically as a single father. She came back at night to look at my grades and ask why they weren’t good enough. My mother wanted a beautiful genius of a daughter who could follow in her footsteps and succeed at everything she put her hand to. But I was awkward and gawky, I knocked over everything I touched, and I didn’t like hard work. We had a tough relationship. Then my father got his diagnosis. They were blunt with us--he was going to die. The question was how long he had. My mom tried to do everything--me, him, and her career. But dying was hard for my dad. He was so full of life, and he took out his fear on us. For the first while, he was still quite mobile. So he would get drunk, just to numb things, so he didn’t have to think about it, even though it was horrible for his condition. My mom had to choose between helping him through the last few months, or continuing work on a project she was doing--her board of directors were considering firing her, because she’d started logging fewer hours at the lab. They didn’t know what was going on--how could they? And my mom had been fired before. She had built that company all by herself, and she loved it more than him or me. So she walked out, one day, taking me with her. I’ve wondered why for years. All I can think of is that her work would last. If she gave that up for him, there’d be nothing left when he died. I would skip school to run away and be with him. He’d run out of money, but they’d let him stay in the hospital anyway--it wasn’t really for much longer. I remember playing alone, trying to make him a cure, like crushing up fruit from my lunch. Then one day, he died. They told her it was the end. She didn't even come to say goodbye. I know it sounds dumb, but I couldn’t stop thinking that if I’d paid better attention in class, I could have saved him. And it was just me and my mom for a while, so I worked as hard as I could to impress her. I went from being thought stupid and having missed almost a year of school to getting into college two years early. It was never enough. She thought I didn’t deserve to succeed, she hated that I rebelled against her--what she wanted. She wanted me to promise to work at her company after college. I said no, she threatened to withdraw my tuition. Then, just before I left for college--I thought I could go on my scholarship money, maybe some work-study, go until my money ran out, then try for a job--my grandparents on his side sued for custody. They got it. I haven’t seen her since I left. She told me before she left that if I wanted to be her daughter I would come work at her lab. I’ve somehow always found a way out, no matter what. I don’t want to see her again, because--even now, I don’t think I could forgive her.”

Jay was silent. He pulled her towards him and started rocking her back and forth, patting her hair. She choked back a sob. _Why did I tell him? He’ll think I’m weak!_ But when he spoke, he only said, “I understand, Cait.”

She had only told Ronnie and Cisco about her mother. “I’m not going to give up.” 

He held her at arm’s length, his hands clasped on her shoulders. “I’m not going to ask you to. I’m glad you trusted me, Caitlin. Keep on trusting me?”

For answer, she kissed him, letting herself become relaxed. She would follow wherever he led. There was something sweet about burning her pride away, a glory in the sacrifice. _My mother never felt this._ “Of course,” she whispered. He began to stir and she grabbed his wrist, imprisoning him. Then she hesitated. If she said what she wanted to say, she could never take it back. “Jay, please don’t go. I need you.”

Jay’s smile was like the sun had broken through a stained-glass window. “You do?”

She swallowed. _This is it. Last chance to turn back._ “Yes. I’ve needed you for a while, and I’ve trusted you since I first met you. And today--I guess I just realized--that if I keep pushing you away, I run the risk of losing you. And I wouldn’t ever want anything like that to happen.”

“Shhhh... I know. I just wanted to hear you say it, Cait, you don’t need to say any more. But you never will lose me, I swear.”

At long last, it was all over--her father, her mother, Ronnie, Grandfather. She wouldn’t be alone again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aargh...Don't hate me! (I hate Zoomlin too, but the season doesn't work if it doesn't happen...Hunter, how could you!?!)  
> Next time: Hunter (like the evil psychopath he is) gloats, Jesse has her first day at work, and Harry makes his choice.
> 
> Anyone in need of someone to talk to about the premiere, or about this fic, can write me in the comments! (The feelings tonight...I can hardly wait!!!)


	20. Hunter, Jesse, Harry

_**Hunter** _

The fight was over. He had won. She was done struggling, she had finally submitted. Caitlin loved Hunter, she needed him, she trusted him and believed in him. She had given him herself, she was his. From now on, she wouldn’t push him away, she would let him in. Her heart was guarded, but she had freely given it to him. There was something touching in the completeness of her surrender. 

He couldn’t betray her, couldn’t let her down. Hunter knew that if he failed to be worthy of the prize she had given him, he would never win her again.

She had opened up to him, told him about herself, trusted him to understand. Now he was hungry for more. He wanted to know every second of everything she had done, everything that made her her, and he wanted to know it instantly. Hunter wished he could take her apart like a watch to see what made her who she was.

Before, she would have fought him. Now, he knew, she would quietly let him dissect her and trust him to make her whole once more. But he also knew he had to wait. Like a flower, she would unfurl gently in the vase he had made for her, layer upon layer. 

That was yet to come. For now, he was content to be by her side. He had thought before that she was quiet and relaxed just after a bout of arguing. But now that she had let herself be won, she had uncurled entirely. Even the tense muscles in her neck had unknotted.

For a fraction of a second, as she leaned against him, she seemed to take fright, to second-guess her own decision. He could feel her start, as if she had just realized what she’d done. But he was done fighting her. Hunter knew he had already won. He just had to remind her. He applied an infinitesimal pressure to her hand, and she seemed to teeter on the brink of running again. Then she gave up, resting her head against him, defenseless, yet at peace. There was a paper-thin, frail quality to her now, like a butterfly in a net, fluttering the last resistance from its wings.

He kissed her softly. This was a worthy opponent, but he had conquered. She was his.

* * *

**_ Jesse _ **

Jesse had arranged with Tina that she would spend a week working at Mercury Labs before she moved in. She arrived early in the morning, before anyone else would be there. Tina met her at the door, a spotless lab coat over her gray sweater-dress. “Jesse. I’m glad you made it. I take it your friends posed no obstacle?”  
She laughed, trying not to remember the look on Harry Wells’ face. “None at all. I’m just glad Barry didn’t kick up a fuss.”  
Tina’s eyes sparkled. “Mr. Allen is surprisingly unattached to his scientific staff. I was thinking of trying to extort Dr. Snow from him as well while he was on the phone, but I decided I’d better ask Caitlin before I negotiate changes to her contract.” A short brunette with laughing eyes came up behind Tina and tapped her on the shoulder. Tina turned around. “Ah, yes. Jesse, this is Eliza Harmon. Eliza, Jesse Wells. She’ll use Caitlin’s laboratory. I was thinking she could help with your research until she gets settled in and comes up with a few independent concepts.” Eliza stuck out a hand. Jesse tugged nervously at her inhibitor bracelet before she shook it. Luckily for her, she didn’t seem to have fractured any of Eliza’s carpal bones.  
Tina motioned vigorously to Eliza. “Well, don’t just stand there! Show her around!” She turned back to Jesse. “I’m so sorry, but if you’ll excuse me, I need to attend to some equipment orders that should be arriving shortly.” Jesse smiled at her, and she strode off, her lab coat blown out by the speed of her stride, yelling back over her shoulder, “I’ll check in on you later!”   
The two girls watched her go. Eliza chuckled. “She certainly is a character, I’ll give you that. C’mon, let’s go explore. She’s given me the morning off to get you settled. Lab coats on that rack. If you need goggles in any of the labs, they’ll be at the door. McGee doesn’t like seeing owl marks around everyone’s eyes, so we only wear them in the dangerous labs.” Jesse pulled a coat from the rack and buttoned it up. Eliza grabbed her by the hand, tugging excitedly. “Hurry up! Let’s get going!” Jesse followed obediently as Eliza led her down a series of hallways filled with open doors, each containing a scientist or set of scientists busy at work. Eliza pointed several out as they passed, speaking faster than Barry did when he got excited.   
“That’s Judy Powell. She’s a roboticist, and she’s working to perfect a remote-controlled exosuit for military use. The tech is down pat, but she’s trying to cut production costs to make it an easier sell. See the blonde over there? That’s Selene Johnson. She’s our genetics geek. Her research is on trying to reconstruct immunities that she traced to a chemical emitted by a gene in some rare type of mouse. She thinks she can transfer it to bacterium in the human digestive tract. Ideally, the chemical could protect people from hospital infections caused by overdoses of antibiotics. It would coat the bacterium in a protective shell--only the good ones, of course--so that the antibiotics could target only harmful strains. Over there is Di Thomas. She’s fine-tuning existing encephalograph equipment to make it more cost-effective to detect latent metahuman abilities. The idea is that if people knew earlier, they could research how to manage their abilities before the stresses of the ability manifested.” On and on the tour went, each project becoming more and more incredible. Finally, Eliza stopped at a door. “This is me. You’re right next door. We are going to have so much fun! I can hardly wait. Lunch isn’t for another hour. I’ll take you around to introduce you then. So, do you have any questions?”  
Jesse was practically speechless. “So, there’s a lot of women around--”  
Eliza cut her off. “Oh, we all call it the henhouse when McGee isn’t listening. She thinks it’s on her to even out the job market, so she scouts for women scientists. It’s hard to go two feet anywhere in the country as a woman without McGee getting her talons in you. She hires men on a limited basis, and only if she absolutely can’t get a woman for the same work. I guess the Feds pretty much turn a blind eye since she's one of their top suppliers. The point is that guys’re practically guaranteed a job. But if we got one, we’d be paid way less than them. So she hires us, and pays us right, so we want to work for her. Besides, it’s cool. We get to work on anything we want, within reason, and she finds buyers for what we make. And you can ask for help from other fields on a limited basis. Like if you stabilized an isotope, but needed help mass-producing, you could ask someone from engineering to make you a larger accelerator. Or if someone in Genetics has a serum they need made, they can ask you. You’re bioengineering, like Cait, right?”  
Jesse nodded. “With a side of Chem.”  
Eliza smiled. “So am I. I’m working on finishing up some of Cait’s research--a speed-enhancing serum. She only left notes on three of the fifteen components, so I’m figuring out what she did for the rest. Tell me, what’s it like working with the Flash?”  
Jesse bit her lip. How does everyone know about Barry? “Well, I don’t do any of that. I’ve barely been in STAR Labs since my father died.”  
Eliza’s face froze, her mouth slightly puckered in astonishment. “Oh my god! Wells! You’re that Jesse Wells! I am SUCH a fan--I read your thesis on mutative stability in metacells! Oh jeez, I am so embarrassed! You don’t need to worry about people being uptight about your dad. I think McGee’s had the hots for him ever since her husband died. Anyway, people are really cool with things here. Nobody cares how many people you killed so long as you’re a half-decent scientist and fun to be around. Although we _did_ have this massive jerk named Hewitt once--to help format a nuclear core. He was a pain in the ass, but we kept needing him, so we kept him. Then McGee wanted him out, but he kicked up a fuss and threatened to bring a racial discrimination lawsuit. So we kept him. He disappeared one night, randomly. Good riddance, I say. Anyway, the Flash. You have to have met him, right? Before your dad died?”  
Jesse considered her lying options. She settled on simple. “I wasn’t around the lab much. Besides, he keeps the mask on almost all the time. He’s the real deal, though. A good person, and a hero.”  
Eliza laughed. “Seriously, I can’t believe you didn’t try to get more involved! Think of how fun it would be! And exciting!”  
Jesse smiled back. It was so nice to have a friend.

* * *

**_ Harry _ **

It hadn’t worked. He had given Allen’s speed to Zoom, and it had been useless. He would never get his daughter back, ever. Even if he betrayed Allen again, stole all his speed, possibly killed him, Zoom would think of something else. And he would do it, grovelling pathetically; anything to save his daughter. But one day, something would snap in him and he would refuse Zoom. And then he and his daughter would die. That was the way it was going to be.

Wells could only see one way out--confess everything to Allen. Hope that he could convince the Flash to let him go. Then find Jesse Thawne and beg for her help. 

He could disappear, but if Zoom didn’t catch him, Allen would. Wells couldn’t carry this alone anymore--wondering when they would notice the speed siphon. It was a constant pounding in the back of his skull, a low thrumming: _they’ll find out._

Wells wished he could leave before Allen found out. He didn’t want to see the look of betrayal on Ramon’s face--he could almost imagine it--he didn’t want to have to explain, again and again, to Allen what had happened.   
But if he vanished, they would assume the worst. Jesse Thawne had been his protection--his insurance that the team would know the truth. But he didn’t know if she would be willing to help him, especially if it meant deviating from the course she had set herself. 

He would have to confess.

This is for you, Jesse Quick.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time: Cisco is afraid of his powers, Caitlin just wants to help, and Jesse is forced to come clean.
> 
> I know that if any real-world company ran the way Tina runs Mercury Labs in this fic, there'd be some serious class-action lawsuits. Still...we're suspending our disbelief of meta-powers here, right guys?


	21. Cisco, Caitlin, Cisco, Jesse

_**Cisco** _

Cisco felt sick to his stomach. Wells had betrayed them. He could barely believe it. Actually, he could. Caitlin had been right all along. Wells was up to no good.

But he couldn’t understand why Wells had sided with Zoom instead of Barry. Barry could have helped Wells get Jesse back. So Cisco opened the door to the pipeline to hear Wells’ side of the story. Cisco desperately wished he could find a way to understand and forgive his science bro, but he was also about to explode. _At least this version hasn’t killed me yet._

Harry stood up when he saw Cisco coming. “Ramon.”

Cisco stopped by the cell door, folding his arms. _Power pose. Two minutes gives your body a confidence boost._ He needed that boost now. “Talk.”

Harry laughed gratingly. "I told Allen everything. If you can’t remember, go ask him.”

Cisco walked closer to the cell door. “Look, Harry, I’m not dumb.” The other man snorted and Cisco ignored him. “We have all done questionable things for our families. I gave a family of super-villains Barry’s identity to save my big brother. But I don’t get why you didn't just ask Barry to help save Jesse.”

Harry scoffed. “You don’t get that? The Flash is so incompetent that Zoom broke his back after a fight lasting all of two minutes. His team has been corrupted by Jay--”

“Okay, whoa. You’re the corrupted one here, not Caitlin. And considering you’re the one who lost your own daughter in the first place and the one who forced Barry into that dumb Zoom fight even he wasn’t sure he wanted, I’d check the dictionary. I think if you looked under incompetent, it would just be a little pocket mirror.” Cisco was breathing hard, now. He understood why there were so many vigilantes in Star City--being angry really did make you want to hit something. He felt like a whistling teakettle, the pressure inside him rising higher and higher.

“I did not lose Jesse! She was kidnapped! And Allen is a coward who would never have fought Zoom unless he was absolutely forced to. And you and your team weren’t going to force him to, because apparently the Flash’s job is to play board games and be your friend, not save Central City. Every last person on this team is a coward!”

Cisco could practically feel himself bristle. “Yeah, so instead you threw in with Zoom, who kidnaps nineteen-year-olds for blackmail collateral. How brave he must be.”

Harry almost threw himself against the glass. “I didn’t have a choice! And I had a plan. I needed to save Jesse, so I was working with Jesse Thawne. We were going to switch the Jesses, so that Zoom would have the wrong one. But I couldn’t go through with it--”

“So you served Barry up on a platter!” All of a sudden, the ground shook beneath Cisco, but he didn’t flinch, because he was in perfect equilibrium, a destructive force of nature, riding a tide of anger. He could see Harry, shaken back against the side of the pipeline, feel the walls vibrating like a wine glass manipulated by a singer. _What in the world is going on? Holy Skywalker--did I do that?_ In his split second of self-doubt, Cisco lost his balance, crumpling to the ground, debris scattering around him. He could hear Harry screaming.

“Ramon! Ramon, are you alright! Somebody, listen! Ramon’s hurt! He needs help! Ramon!”

_So he isn’t as heartless as I thought...  
_

_Am I the heartless one?_

* * *

**_ Caitlin _ **

The whole team had come together to decide what to do. Barry was sitting on a table, his shoulders slumped. Joe and Iris West stood awkwardly in a corner, his arms wrapped around her. Iris gazed at Barry as if she wished she could console him, but didn’t feel like she had the right. Jay had elected to stay home, since he didn’t think it was his place to decide. Caitlin had tried to sit next to Cisco, but he had got up and moved. He sat at the opposite end of the room from the rest of the team, sitting on his hands as if he was afraid they would explode. She wished there was something she could do to help him. _After this is over, I’ll talk to him._

Barry looked up, running his hands down his cheeks. “So, Harry thinks we can save his daughter by giving Jesse to Zoom. What are we supposed to do now? I was willing to help him, but serving up Jesse? It’s too much.”

Joe spoke, not looking at Barry. “He says it was Jesse’s idea. And if we figure out the communicators, that’s a lead on Zoom. That’s what we need now, Barr. You know you’d want us to let you do something like that.”

Barry didn’t respond. A long pause settled like dust over the room. Caitlin thought about Jesse, who was young and brilliant, with so much potential, who had never recovered from Thawne. _It’s sick that we’re sitting here, without her or Harry, ordering their lives for them. Like they’re pieces on a chessboard._ Caitlin knew she would never consent to someone deciding this for her. But they couldn’t trust Harry, and somehow, nobody had suggested calling Jesse. It was if they were afraid of what her decision might be, as if they wanted to be able to control what happened. Finally, Cisco spoke. “We either need to get Jesse away from Zoom or find a way to keep Wells from sabotaging us anymore. We can’t trust him unless his daughter is safe.”

Barry cut in. “Then we go to Earth-2 and rescue Jesse Wells. Endangering our Jesse isn’t on the table.”

Iris walked over to Barry, sitting down by him. “Hey, Barry, I know you’re not comfortable with this, but keeping Zoom from knowing we got her back keeps him complacent. And she’s volunteered. I know you try to keep everyone but you out of the field, but you haven’t had any real help since Ronnie died, and--”

Barry’s interruption was almost violent. “Ronnie and Stein wanted to be in the field, and I let them, and Ronnie died. And even Ronnie wasn’t stupid enough to go in for a suicide mission like this. People who are close to me die, Iris, especially when they put themselves in stupid, dangerous situations like this one! Maybe if I had kept Ronnie out of the field, he’d be alive today!”

Caitlin must have drawn a sharp breath at this last. She would never forgive herself for choosing to stay in Central City when Ronnie wanted to move. She remembered waking up one morning to find him sipping coffee and looking at real estate in the suburbs of Opal City. He’d been enthusiastic--Opal was a place to raise a family. Central, with its near-daily attacks, wasn’t. She’d been obstinate--Barry needed both of them. He’d tried everything he could--showing her the research lab in Opal, noting the ease of travel between the cities. She’d told him she wasn’t ready for a family yet. He’d fallen silent, almost gloomily. Then he’d asked her how much longer their luck could last. He wanted something of both of them that would go forward. Although she hadn’t explained to Ronnie, he knew that with her parents’ divorce, she didn’t think she knew how to be a mother. By helping Barry, she told him, she was making the world safe for their children. He had brandished Opal City’s zero-percent metahuman attack rate.

Ronnie wasn’t reckless. He wasn’t some sort of danger addict. That had been her, but he’d been the one who paid for it. Iris and Barry seemed frozen in identical expressions of horror. Barry began, “I’m sorry, Cait--”, but she cut him off.

“Why don’t you let Jesse choose? You gave Ronnie a choice, and he picked the field. Give her all the information we have and let her draw her own conclusions.”

Joe turned to Barry. “Look, Barr, at least we shouldn’t table the possibility without asking her to do it. Let her refuse.”

Barry couldn’t meet his eyes. “I know what it’s like to feel pressured into that sort of thing.”  
She had pressured Ronnie. Wells had pressured Barry. Clarissa had pressured Stein. Oliver Queen pressured his team, Lewis Snart had pressured his children, Captain Cold pressured his partner, she had pressured Jax, Ray Palmer had pressured Felicity, Ra’s had pressured Oliver, Carter had pressured Kendra, Thawne had pressured them all. _It doesn’t end,_ she wanted to tell Barry. But instead she bit her lip, and raised her hand when Joe asked for votes in favor of asking for Jesse’s help.

* * *

**_ Cisco _ **

Caitlin pulled Cisco aside on the way out of the meeting. He tried his level best to break her grip, but eventually stopped. If he triggered any adrenaline output in his brain with Cait this near him, it could be catastrophic. “Hey, Cait,” he opened miserably. She looked concerned.  
“Cisco, I heard about what happened with Wells. Are you alright?”

He laughed. “Cait, I’m fine. Just a few bruises, that’s all.” He had to get her away from him. Cisco couldn’t stand it if he hurt his bestie.

Caitlin wasn’t buying it. “That’s not what I meant. I know you’re physically fine, Cisco. Do you want to talk about what happened?”

He shook his head. “Caitlin, I’m fine. Do you mind if I go work on prototypes for those communicators?”

She nodded. “Hey, I’ll bring my work in and keep you company. It’ll be just like old times.”

That was the last thing Cisco wanted right now. “Are you sure? Jay probably wants an update on what happened.”

“I’ll text him. You’re more important right now.” He studied her closely. Was there something she wasn’t telling him? As if in response, she turned to Cisco. “I told him about my parents. I want to give him a bit of time to sort things through. He seems fine, though.” He made a few desperate attempts to keep the conversation on Jay, but she wasn’t buying it. Finally, she sat down in his workshop, pulling him beside her. “Cisco, I get that you’re afraid you’re going to hurt someone. But I think everyone here agrees with me that you’re going to be better off with us helping you through it. It only triggers when your adrenaline spikes, and if you feel safe, it won’t spike.”

Cisco felt panicked. He had to get her away. “Cait, it’s a feedback loop. I’m afraid I’m going to hurt you guys, so I freak out, which makes me more worried I’m going to blow, which makes me freak, and so on until I blow!”

Caitlin placed a gentle hand on his elbow. “Cisco, I know you can figure it out. You always find a way, just like the rest of this team. Are you really going to let Thawne win? C’mon, what would your yoga teacher say if she heard you couldn’t find a way to keep calm?”

He laughed. Cait was right. _It’s good to have friends by you.  
_

_I can control this._ But somewhere in him, he remembered that dark tsunami, and wasn’t quite so sure.

* * *

 ** _Jesse_**  
  
Jesse hung up the phone and went into Tina’s living room. The older woman looked up. “Hey, Tina, I’m sorry to ask, but can I have some time off?”

Tina’s smile was slightly ironic, as if she was sharing a joke with herself. “I rather expected this would happen. What’s the reason, Jesse?”

Jesse began, “My cousin’s really, really sick--”, but Tina cut her off with a wave of her hand.

“Before you continue down that road, Jesse--and I might add that research has proven continued falsehoods to produce a mildly addictive dopamine rush--I should inform you that I am fully aware of Mr. Allen’s, shall we say, track-and-field prowess, and of the ways in which he puts that skill to use.”

Jesse swallowed. “Oh.”

Tina leaned forward. “While you’re deciding what to say, might I suggest the truth? I’m told it’s much more effective than any fib.”

Jesse clutched the arm of a chair for support. “How much do you already know?”

Tina laughed merrily, her eyes intent. “Much more than you and Mr. Allen think is easily guessable. I know that Mr. Allen is the Flash, that he uses his rather eclectic laboratory staff to help him lower the crime rate (an occupation which I heartily approve of, coincidentally), that your father died shortly after you were born, and that you possess some metahuman ability, the specifics of which currently elude me. I am aware that your father was somehow replaced, though how and by who are difficult to understand--although I suspect that extremely rude blond man in the yellow bodysuit somehow plays into it. Someone should have informed him that that hideous shade of mustard does not suit his complexion. Furthermore, I know that your father--I assume the real one, although the copy is a possibility (though why he would leave that recording if he intended to return is beyond me), has returned to the world of the living, and that both you and Mr. Allen have been in contact with him. And I assume that the reason you intend to take time off, as you put it, has something to do with either your father or that hulking brute in the black face mask who so unkindly snapped Mr. Allen’s spinal cord last November. Possibly, it concerns both. Now, would you mind filling in the gaps in my information?”

Jesse took a deep breath. “My father died in the car accident that killed my mother. Eobard Thawne, the man in yellow, was a speedster from the future, obsessed with killing the Flash. He tried to kill Barry as a boy, but was stopped by a future version of Barry. Instead, he killed Barry’s mother. Then, he killed my father and took his shape. He was stranded back in time, so he created the particle accelerator in order to give Barry his abilities. It exploded, giving a lot of people abilities. I’m one of them: enhanced strength. I wear inhibitor bracelets my father made me so that I can pass as normal. Barry eventually figured out what Thawne was up to, but he had to send him back to the future. Thawne bribed him by offering him the possibility to save his mother. He chose not to, but the rupture created by their time travel opened up the Singularity, creating breaches to an alternate Earth where my father never died and Barry never became the Flash. That Earth is terrorized by a speedster named Zoom--the man in the black suit. That man has me on that earth prisoner in order to blackmail my father’s counterpart into sabotaging Barry. The plan is to switch me with her, since my powers make me better able to stand up to Zoom, and they can plant a device on me to keep them updated about Zoom’s plans. She doesn’t have any powers. So I need to leave, and I won’t be back for a while, probably until Barry defeats Zoom. But my double will be coming to impersonate me once she arrives.”

Tina nodded, having apparently managed to follow Jesse’s rather incoherent explanation. “And why, Jesse, do you seem almost enthusiastic about being imprisoned by a veritable madman?”

Jesse looked Tina straight in the eyes. “My father hurt so many people. I’ve got to help people to make up for that. Before this, I did some vigilante work, but it didn’t really help anyone. Barry can do it fine on his own. But this girl didn’t hurt anyone, and her father’s desperate. He even stole part of Barry’s speed to try and get her back. I can’t just stand by, and I’m the only one who can help.”

Tina put a hand on Jesse’s arm. “Jesse, will you listen to two cents’ worth of advice from a woman who has seen far more of life than you?” Jesse nodded. “My husband died in Vietnam. We hadn’t been married very long. They told me that he saved almost a hundred men...they even gave him a little medal for it. But as a scientist, my husband could have saved thousands. There is no such thing as a noble sacrifice, Jesse. My husband was not obligated to do anything to expiate his country’s sins. You are not your father, or your father’s daughter. You are anyone you want to be. Be a hero, if that’s what you want. Save that girl, but don’t get any delusions about it. Keep yourself alive, if you want to make up for what your father did. This isn’t enough, and neither is being a vigilante. Find a cure for cancer. Invent universal inhibitor bracelets. Leave your father’s memory behind and learn not to scream at night. Do this, stop this monster, but make absolutely sure that you will return.”

Jesse nodded. “I scream at night?”

“Acute stress reaction. Not uncommon, though I assume psychological help is difficult to come by.”

“Barry doesn’t want his identity--”

“I am aware of Mr. Allen’s privacy concerns. I am also aware of the fact that he wouldn’t recognize or know how to treat trauma if it sat down to tea with him. When you return, I can help. Until then, Jesse, good luck.”

“Thank you, Tina. I’ll take your advice.” Tina got up from her chair and hugged Jesse warmly. Then, Jesse went upstairs to pack her backpack.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time: Cisco and Caitlin argue, and Hunter makes waffles.


	22. Harry, Hunter

** _Harry_ **

Wells listened to Snow and Ramon arguing in the next room.

“But what if you need medical assistance--”

“Then we’ll go to the hospital. Somebody has to stay and make sure the breach stays open. I don’t trust Jay--”

“Then stay back yourself! But I am sick of being told to stay home and wait, while you three go on a little bachelor’s day out--”

“We’re taking Jesse. She’s not a--”

“You know what I mean! I don’t want to be kept safe or protected--”

“Really? ‘Cause I thought you and Jay might enjoy having the lab to yourselves, so that you could have some quality time with your new savior--”

“Cisco, can this not be about Jay? I can be useful on Earth-2. Why do you get to go? You’re worse at fighting than I am--”

“I need to help find Jesse--”

“With your abilities you can’t control? Give me a break--”

“Well, I can’t defend the lab while everyone else is gone alone, and I’m certainly not going to hang out with--”

“Will you stop it about Jay? Cisco, I can be helpful--”

“There’s not enough room for more than four to get through the breach--”

“Why is Wells coming, then? Because I think we should be careful about--”

“Wells knows his way around--”

“And Barry could probably get the layout of the whole city down in under three minutes--”

“We need to have her dad there, or she won’t trust us--”

“You’re going to wish you’d brought me if someone gets hurt--”

“I need you to tell my parents what happened--”

“Tell them yourself! Don’t make me out you as a meta to them--”

“Caitlin--”

“Why are you and Barry always pushing me out of the way? I am a valuable part of this team--”

“Yes, but you are more valuable here!”

“Cisco, calm down! If your powers get out of control, how are you going to keep cool? You need me--”

“Caitlin, we need someone Jay trusts to keep an eye on him--”

“Will you just _stop_ about Jay?”

“I will--if _you_ stop pestering me to let you go to Earth-2!”

“You can stabilize the breaches--”

“Yes, but” (this in a stage whisper) “Wells told me about the serum. Jay needs you to make it for him if he needs it. I can’t do that.”

“Oh.” A long pause. “Fine, but I get to go to the next alternate Earth.”

Relieved laughter from the next room.

Someone cleared their throat behind Wells. He turned to see Jesse Thawne behind him, carrying a rucksack. “Are we going to go soon?” She seemed awkward.

He stood up. “Jesse. I wanted to apologize for our fight.”

She seemed to shrug his words off her shoulders. “Let’s not talk about that. Saving your daughter is all that matters. Can I see the communicator?” He passed her the device that her life depended on. She glanced over it briefly. “Cool,” she said, putting it back on the desk. Jesse stood for another agonizing second. Then she murmured, “I’m going to go say hi to Cait,” and left.

What had he done?

* * *

**_ Hunter _ **

Hunter woke up the next morning, contented for the first time he could remember in years. He crept downstairs and began work on pancakes, hoping against hope not to burn them. Upstairs, he could hear Caitlin tossing and turning slightly. He imagined her stirring, the first signs of life, the rose bloom spreading over her cheeks, her eyelids beginning to tremble. _Do I even need to go through with this?_

Was it worth risking Caitlin’s love to conquer this Earth? He put a kettle on to boil and arranged teabags neatly in a pot. Chamomile, which seemed to be her favorite, judging from the abundance of it in her cupboard. For the first time, he wondered why he even wanted to rule this Earth, or any Earth. He realized, sharply, that he had no idea. The kettle began to hiss menacingly. Hunter removed it hastily, pouring the scalding water into the pot, nearly burning his hand.

Could he be Jay Garrick forever? Lose touch with his network, let Zoom never be heard from again. Let Barry Allen keep on as he pleased. Convince Cait to move away from Central. Forget that Hunter Zolomon ever existed. Be for Caitlin the man his father never was. It would be so easy. She could find a way to cure him--he knew that she was brilliant that way. Settle down and be happy, worry about little things like the price of milk. He found a half-opened jar of honey in her cupboard and dumped a generous scoop in the tea.

The pancakes were burning. He leaped frantically for the stove. He couldn’t let the smoke alarm go off. Hunter rescued the pan, but the pancakes were completely blackened. With a sigh, he emptied them into the trash.

Could he live without Zoom? Was Jay Garrick, this man he had created, enough?

He found freezer waffles and popped them in the toaster. Hunter imagined waking up for the rest of his life like this--nothing much to do, just pass the time until nightfall. Worrying in the back of his mind that one day, Caitlin would learn the truth.

Hunter knew that if he gave up Zoom, he would be bored irreparably for the rest of his life. There would be nowhere left for him to go, nothing to search for. Contentment was a travesty--the search was infinitely more entertaining than the finding.

Now that Caitlin was his--now what? One day, would he wake up and want nothing to do with her? Would she become boring, eventually? Jay Garrick was so boring. Would she realize that one day, and distance herself from Hunter? He put the tea and waffles on a tray with a jug of maple syrup and carried the breakfast gently up the stairs. Softly knocking, he entered her room. The first daylight was streaming clearly through the window. He could feel a gentle breeze.

Hunter paused in the doorway. Caitlin lay softly on her side, her head pillowed on her arms, her luxurious hair spilling all around her. A slight smile reposed playfully on her face, curving her lips delicately. He could barely hear her breathing.

He hadn’t quite realized before how frail she was. Her arms, though muscled, were thin, so thin he could snap them like twigs. She seemed almost insubstantial--there was a delicate transparency to her skin, and the breeze played softly with her hair, as if preparing to gust her away in a hurricane. She murmured sleepily and rolled over, settling in a repose even more perfect than before. He reached out a single finger and curled a stray tendril of hair back behind her ear. Behind her head, he could glimpse her delicate hands, long and graceful. He paused, savoring this moment, the sight of her asleep, trusting, more vulnerable than she let herself be awake. Then, he bent down, intending to kiss the wrinkles of worry from her brow.

The alarm clock startled both of them by launching into heavy metal rock. Ronnie must have liked it to do that. Caitlin’s eyes flew open instantly, and she sat bolt upright. Upon seeing him, she relaxed. “Hey,” he said, idiotically, staring at her. “I brought you breakfast.”

She smiled hugely at him. “Hey yourself. We’ve got to hurry. You should have woken me--that’s the last-ditch alarm clock, just in case I oversleep.”

He grinned, balancing the tray on the side of the bed. “Pity you don’t have an alarm clock to tell you when you’re overzealous. The others are gone, remember? You don’t exactly have to arrive right on time.”

She leaned up, hanging her arms around his neck. “Why do I need an alarm clock? I’ve got you to keep track for me,” she whispered in his ear. He lifted her to a sitting position, and she swung her legs over the side of the bed. Hunter took a chair next to the bed, and hoisted the tray to her nightstand. She started by gulping hastily, but slowed down once she realized he wasn’t going to hurry. “Come on, Jay,” she teased, laughing almost until she sputtered.

He was happy. But he didn’t want to be happy as Jay Garrick, to like the things Jay Garrick liked. He wanted to fulfill his dreams as Hunter Zolomon, as Zoom. “Shh,” he whispered, walking behind Caitlin and beginning to run his fingers through her hair. She stretched like a cat, luxuriating in his touch, but suddenly jerked away from him, her eyes glazing over as she looked far beyond the opposite wall. He coaxed her head back, trying to find the snarl that had pained her. There was nothing there. “Good things come to those who wait,” he intoned in a slight singsong. She laughed softly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so some stuff to explain. Firstly, there's a big storm due to go through my area, so my next update will be late if I lose power (no power, no wifi, therefore no update). Next time, the Earth-2 team is in very serious trouble, and Jesse learns something scary about Harry.  
> BTW in case anyone gets confused, in that last bit Caitlin's remembering Ronnie helping her with her hair in that earlier flashback.  
> Finally, just a heads-up that I'm very severely disappointed with the Flash right now, for a vast number of reasons. I'll probably continue to post this, and I may write the last few chapters eventually, just to give everyone some closure...BUT, if S3 doesn't get much better, I probably won't write a sequel. I'm trying right now to decide whether I should end this in a way that gives everyone reasonably happy endings, or end this in a way that segues to some version of Flashpoint (since unfortunately, the show seems to have abandoned this timeline for good...)  
> Thanks for reading, guys, as always!


	23. Cisco, Harry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, they said there'd be a storm, but then there was literally no storm. So, I have wi-if and can post this!!

_**Cisco** _

Cisco was freaking out. He was really scared he would blow his top, and he was honestly wondering if blowing up would be a good idea. That was because he was hiding from the flaming doppelgänger of Ronnie Raymond. _Good thing our version of Cait’s not here._ He ducked behind a chair as a fireball narrowly managed not to singe him, then flattened to avoid an icicle shot at Barry by Caitlin. Not Caitlin. Killer Frost: this was Caitlin with blue lipstick, platinum blonde hair, and blue-tinted contacts, and she and Not-Ronnie were having a mid-battle Public Display of Affection. Barry struggled to his feet, hurling himself at the couple, but Ronnie shot him backwards with a blast of searing heat.

Cisco had tried to stay quiet, but that last display must have caused him to--yelp? Whimper? Utter a triumphant war cry? He wasn’t sure. Well, probably not the last one. Instantly, Killer Frost (Caitlin must not have known who he was in this world, or she would have had a much better name) rounded on him. “Well, well, look what the cat dragged in,” she drawled, poking at him with the metal toe of her boot. He closed his eyes, trying to think of a couple heroic last words. _She sounds like she’s a bad Captain Cold impersonator._

“Leave him alone!” yelled Barry. Deathstorm ( _can’t believe Ronnie thought of that as a viable name option_ ) turned up the heat, and Barry screamed.

“Really? You’re giving orders now? I’d think twice if I were you, Flash. Zoom wants you, and your little friends. We’ve got you where you want you, and you’re going to come quietly, or his body temperature is going to take a nasty drop.” Caitlin chuckled, as if Ronnie’s lame threat had been funny, then lifted Cisco up with a single, vise-like hand.

Cisco caught Jesse’s eye. She and Harry were crouched under the table behind Frost, and Deathstorm didn’t seem to have spotted them. Jesse jerked her head at Frost and mimed a punch, then raised her eyebrows. Cisco shook his head. “Barry, I think we should STAY PUT. I wish we could HIDE, but we decided to be DUMB and FIGHT. But we shouldn’t LET THEM HAVE US.” Frost looked suspicious and jammed a manicured fingernail into Cisco’s windpipe.

Deathstorm laughed in a violent caricature of Ronnie’s familiar chuckle. “It doesn’t matter what they want. Let’s take them and go.”

“Right you are, love.” Frost gave a Wicked-Witch-of-the-West level cackle. Then, with a bitter-cold finger on the side of Cisco’s neck, she pushed him over the edge into blackness.

* * *

 

**_ Harry _ **

Harrison Wells crouched with Jesse under the table long after the metahumans had departed with their prey. He kept a hand on her arm for roughly an hour, trying to stop her from leaving their sanctuary. On Earth-2, Zoom’s eyes were everywhere.

Finally, he let her go. She stepped out, her eyes blazing. “We should have followed them! They could have led us straight to Zoom’s lair!”

He chuckled hollowly. “No, they would have led us straight to a drop-off point, where they would have met another meta, who would have led us straight to another drop-off point, where that meta would have met Zoom, who would have speeded off with them, leaving us unable to follow and possibly captured ourselves.”

Jesse sighed, flopping down into a chair. “We can’t just let Zoom have them!”

“Oh, they’ll escape. Killer Frost and Deathstorm are hardly Barry’s level. Once he gets over the shock about Ronnie and Caitlin, he’ll be fine. In the meantime, we need a place to hide. If Zoom finds out Barry and Cisco came with two other people, we’re dead.”

He picked up his bag and Barry’s, flinging her Cisco’s, then strode off briskly. She fell in, trotting along in his wake. “Why don’t we go to CCPD and see if they have any files on where Frost and Deathstorm hang out?”

“First place Zoom will look.”

Coming briefly level with him, she panted, “Slow down, maybe? Anyway, we could try to find a disused warehouse. The city’s full of them on my Earth.”

“No.” Their lives were in danger, and Jesse Thawne couldn’t shut up. She seemed to figure out what he wanted, because she went almost completely silent for some minutes. Finally, he pulled her into a side street. “Here.” He tugged at a grate low down on the wall, but couldn’t budge it. _Been a long time since I used this._ She motioned him aside, removing her bracelet and easily unblocking the entrance. Slipping the bracelet back on, she peered inside, then started down the ladder affixed on the inner side of the wall. He followed.

It was just the same as he remembered, with only an added layer of dust to betray the passing of time. Above them, the grate clicked back into place, the lights switched on, and Tess’s voice said, quietly, “Welcome, Dr. Wells.”

Jesse spun around slowly, her eyes round with wonderment. “What is this place?”

He put a gentle hand on her elbow. “I built this bunker after the accelerator explosion because I was worried someone would try to hurt my family to get to me. Go ahead, take a look around.”

She started off, then seemed to remember something. “I nearly tore the grate off its hinges up there. Anyone can get in now.”

He laughed. _Jesse Quick, always one step ahead._ “No, they can’t. It was just stuck, but I've programmed it so that it can’t be opened without receiving genetic data from me. You could open it because you carry several of the same genes.” Jesse nodded, and soon her light footsteps pattered off.

Her voice called him from around a corner. “Dr. Wells?” Wells poked his head around the corner to find Jesse staring open-mouthed at his computer A.I. She pointed to it, tremulously. “Did you--model this on--your wife?”

Wells swallowed, blinked, and nodded. He hadn’t seen Tess in a very long time. “Yes. Tess couldn’t always be with my daughter and I here, since she had to manage the lab. So I built this so that Jesse wouldn’t feel lonely.”

Jesse looked dazed. “Hi, Mom,” she whispered gently, reaching a careful, almost tender hand towards the screen.

The A.I. seemed confused. “I am not your mother, and you are not my daughter, metahuman,” it informed her in a neutral tone. Jesse withdrew her hand as if she had been stung. The A.I. continued. “Dr. Wells, shall I eliminate this metahuman? Does it pose a threat?” For a split second, it seemed as if Jesse might be about to cry. Then she whirled, stumbling out. Wells knew he had no right to comfort her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time: Caitlin and Jesse both feel betrayed, and Hunter is nervous. 
> 
> Oh, and just so everyone's clear, the team did encounter E-2 Joe, Iris, and Barry in this timeline, but I cut that out here for pacing reasons, and also because the show covered it so thoroughly.
> 
> As always, thanks for reading!!


	24. Caitlin, Jesse, Hunter

_**Caitlin** _

Cisco had been right. Jay was a liar, and she had let him into her life. _So this is why he wanted me to keep Velocity away from Barry._ Her face seemed to sting. He had lied to her. She’d thought, when she discovered that he was dying, that he had only kept that from her. She’d realized that he wouldn’t want to share something like that, and she had forgiven him. Now, realizing that he had lied about Zoom stealing his speed, she realized that anything he said could have been a falsehood.

Why hadn’t he told her? Did he not want her to find a cure? _I told him everything--Ronnie, my parents. He lied to me, he lied to Barry, he lied to the team, and now the others are out on Earth-2 with false information._

 _Why?_ It was what she kept returning to in her head, her mind spinning in the same tracks like a hamster wheel. But her subconscious kept confronting her with the same image--Cisco, asking why she hadn’t let him help after Ronnie died. 

_If he’d told me, I could have found a cure by now...I need to destroy V-7...keep Barry away from it...Barry thinks Zoom can steal his speed...Is everything okay over there? What’s happening to Barry and Cisco?_ She pushed the image of Cisco from her head. _Why didn’t Jay let me help? There’s so much I could have done..._ but she couldn’t shake the feeling that there was a connection between Cisco asking why she pushed him away and her own frustration with Jay’s deception. Cisco had asked her the same questions that she wished she could ask Jay. _That’s it._

Why didn’t she let Cisco help? _Because I felt like by refusing to leave the lab, I killed Ronnie. I was guilty._ That was why Jay hadn’t told her. He felt guilty that his desire to be faster had robbed him of his speed. They had both talked so naïvely to each other of losing half themselves. They had wanted to pretend that they were okay, because they hadn’t wanted to stare down what they’d done.

How could she fault Jay for lying to her? She was just as much a liar, just as guilty as he.

* * *

**_ Jesse _ **

When Jesse had recovered her composure, she walked back to the front room, giving the A.I. a wide berth. Wells was stationed at a computer console, his eyes intent, his fingers flying. She came up behind him. “Ah, good, Jess. You’re here. I’m trying to remotely adjust the tracker in Allen’s suit to give off a frequency detectable by my equipment. He’s coded to Earth-1 right now, which is a problem.”

She pulled up a second chair. “Let me try.” They worked in silence. 

Finally, he spoke, awkwardly. “Jess, I’m sorry about the A.I. I don’t know where it got that, and it was totally uncalled for. Sometimes computer programs can be a bit...literal.”  
 _Don’t tell him. You’ll regret it._ But she was about to burst, and she couldn’t stay silent.

“Actually, I know where she got it. I read her coding, and she’s programmed to pick up your brain activity patterns. In other words, she knows and believes everything you ever knew or believed. Handy--you don’t have to tell her anything, because she anticipates everything you could ever want. But I imagine you probably had to work hard to break her of calling people “metahuman trash” or some such. I don’t mind, though, because I’ve been asking her some very revealing questions about you. You know, I thought you were a better man than Thawne, but at least Thawne didn’t delude himself into imagining he was a good person. You make me sick--setting off that particle accelerator, knowing what it could do. We have a common enemy, and I will help you stop Zoom, but I want nothing to do with you. You are _lucky_ I couldn’t find anything to hate about your daughter, or else I would turn you both in to Zoom and let him kill you, you dirty, self-serving _racist_!”

He recoiled, but kept his equilibrium.. “Alright, Jesse. Why don’t you tell me exactly what my A.I. has been saying about me so that I can explain?”

 _Explain?_ Jesse wanted to spit in his face. “No. I don’t want your explanations. You know, I used to wish you were my father, instead of Thawne. Now, I’m not so sure. But we don’t have time to waste with your explanations, so let’s find Barry fast so we can save your daughter. That’s all you ever cared about--securing your pawn, the one who’s pure like you, who isn’t a meta! You made people like me, all across this Earth, live in fear because Zoom killed your wife. You and your meta-detecting apps! _Making Central City safe!_ You take your pure, human daughter and leave the metas to Zoom. Now I know why they’re all loyal to him! Now I know why you were okay at first with me saving the other Jesse--because I’m a metahuman! I read a few of those papers you wrote on how all metas go bad eventually! And you pretended to feel guilty to make me loyal to you, and it worked! Now I know why Jay Garrick hates you! Is this why you spent time with Cait--because she’s human? You were going to use Barry to defeat Zoom, because they’re both metas, so whichever one dies is still _one meta less!_ ” She felt better, having said it all. He tried to put a hand on her arm, but she shrugged it off. “Are you afraid? Of me? Well, maybe you should be! Because I would never have used my powers to hurt you, but now I’m not so sure. So, you know what? I’m going to find Barry and Cisco and your daughter, and I will send them back here. You--stay away!”

She didn’t look back as she swept away, mounting the ladder to the outside world, squaring her shoulders, adjusting her communication device, and keeping the map of Barry’s location firmly in her mind. 

* * *

**_ Hunter _ **

Hunter found Caitlin reading a book in the antechamber. He held his breath as he crept towards the doorway. Watching her, realizing as he did so that she was his, still made his heart give a painful throb. Some days, he wondered if she were a figment of his imagination. Now, she was reclined on a chair, her ankles crossed lazily on the floor, resting her head sideways on her hand, the gentle motion of turning pages the only sound. Standing behind her, he could see the curve of her back, her delicate waist, the way her hair rippled down the side of her neck. Hunter was awed that this wondrous being had chosen him, but it was tempered by fear of her, an instinct telling him that if he made one wrong move, she would take fright and run away from him, faster than he could follow, even as Zoom. The situation was delicate. _Is she upset? Will she ignore me? Is she ready to talk to me?_ In a way, this was practice for the moment when she would learn the truth about him. Could he make her care for Hunter Zolomon as she cared for Jay Garrick?

He was about a foot behind her. Absorbed in a reverie, she didn’t seem to realize his presence. He noticed the way the hairs at the nape of her neck had become tangled in the clasp of her necklace, the slight motion of her shoulders as she breathed. She was like a lake of still water, and he held a skipping rock. “Cait,” he said from behind her. 

“Mmmmnh?” she rejoined, not turning around or disturbing herself otherwise.

“Can we talk?” 

Shutting up the book, she turned around gently, as if the motion were part of a dance. “Of course, Jay. Is this about the Velocity serum? Because you don’t need to worry; I’m not mad.”

He could feel his pulse give a leap in his temples. “Really?”

She nodded. “I thought about it, and I have no right to be upset. I’m not the most open with people, and I completely understand why you wouldn’t want to tell me.” He remained silent, inviting her to continue, but inside he was exultant: _she forgave me without being asked, I didn’t have to do anything, she really is mine and she’s going to stay mine._ He held her reins in his hand, and she responded effortlessly to his wishes, quiet under his guidance, although if she chose to resist, he could probably never master her. She continued to speak, barely looking at him, playing absentmindedly with a pencil, almost whispering. “I get it. You felt guilty, and you didn’t want to think about what you did, so you created a world where it wasn’t your fault. I know, because I did that too.” Caitlin looked him directly in the eyes then. “I killed my husband.” Taken aback by her seeming confession of murder, he must have jerked, because she seemed to come to herself. “Oh, no,” she laughed, “not like that! But Ronnie begged me to move out of Central. He knew it was dangerous here, that Barry was in too deep. He’d picked out a house in the suburbs of Opal City. I told him I wouldn’t move, and he stopped talking about it. But if I hadn’t been so attached to my work, he would have lived. So I stopped thinking about that, and blamed Thawne, blamed Barry, blamed anyone I could. Everyone feels guilty when they lose something, Jay. And I swear, I will find a cure.”

He turned her face up towards him. “Do you still think about Ronnie?” 

She looked away. “Yes, just like you still think about your speed. Most of the day, I’m fine, and then it’s like he’s right there. But it gets easier by the second to ignore him. I’m afraid one day I’ll lose him entirely. Don’t you feel the same way, sometimes?” As she finished the question, she looked back at him, with trusting eyes. He kissed her then, but it wasn’t the same. She wasn’t his. She still belonged, at least in part, to Ronnie Raymond.

He was going to fix that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time: Cisco is terrified, Hunter is a psychopath, and Harry is remorseful.
> 
> So excited for Jesse Quick tonight!!


	25. Cisco, Hunter, Harry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick note to say that I LOVE Jesse Quick's suit!!

_**Cisco** _

When Cisco regained consciousness, he was tied up firmly on the ground. He craned his neck to see Barry lying beside him, face a bloody wreck, barely moving or breathing. Behind him, he could hear Deathstorm and Killer Frost arguing. When they weren’t on display, their voices sounded more like Ronnie and Caitlin’s.

“Why don’t we just take them and leave? If Zoom comes after us, we trade them for our freedom. You don’t understand. I hate being a part of this network. Let’s find someplace easier, where we don’t have to go by anyone’s rules but ours...” Cisco wasn’t sure whether he wanted Deathstorm to get his way.

“We can’t. Zoom finds everything out, and he doesn’t need to bargain to get what he wants.”

“If we convinced Reverb onto our side of things, Zoom wouldn’t be able to find us--”

“Reverb won’t turn, not as long as Rupture is in the network. You’re brawn, I’m brain, love. Let me work this out.”

“And keep us trapped here? They say Zoom’s gone crazy, that he’s got a girl on another Earth. I don’t want to work for him any longer.”

“Well, let’s give Zoom what he wants for now. Let him have his toys to play with, and then we can see about this girl on Earth-1. Maybe she’s our ticket out of the network.” Cisco could practically hear Deathstorm’s pout.

Killer Frost seemed about to say something more, when footsteps sounded, slow and assured. A new voice spoke, menacingly. “Well, looks like you two were finally useful for once. Zoom will be pleased with me.” _Is that my voice?_

Deathstorm almost interrupted, growling harshly. “We found them. We should get the credit, Reverb.” _Not nearly as cool a name as Vibe..._ _why am I so calm? My alternate-universe doppelgänger is an evil jerk who works for Zoom! Maybe I'm a spy, secretly on the side of the good guys..._

“I may omit the part where you two were involved.” Reverb sounded almost smug. _Okay, I'm probably just evil._

Deathstorm let out a bellow, and Cisco heard the sound of a whooshing fireball. The ground seemed to shake, and there was a thud against the opposite wall. Killer Frost screamed.

“Oh, he’s alive,” said Reverb, sounding careless. “But I am going to take credit for this find, Frost. I’m fair though--in return, I won’t tell Zoom what I heard you saying.” Frost let out a barely audible whimper, just as there was a gust of air, and a smell of burnt rubber. Zoom had arrived.

* * *

**_ Hunter _ **

As Hunter made his entrance into the alley, he savored the scene. Vibe and the Flash were bound on the floor. He estimated that it would be another few minutes before Barry recovered enough to phase through his bonds. Reverb had dropped from his swagger to practically cower, while Killer Frost was slapping Deathstorm’s grey face, trying to get him to wake up. Reverb spoke, obsequiously. “These two were plotting against you. I was just about to kill them.”

Hunter waved his hand, and Reverb slunk back. “Is this true?” Although he asked Killer Frost, he wasn’t interested in the answer. He just wanted to kill Ronnie Raymond. Any excuse would do.

“No,” she stuttered, backing away from Deathstorm as Hunter approached, sounding frantic, as though she would like to beg for her partner's life to be spared, but wasn’t quite sure how. _Pitiful. Caitlin--I can imagine it right now--wouldn’t move. She would turn her face up at me like a full moon, breathing ever-so-slightly harder with the intensity of her emotion, but she wouldn’t raise her voice, she would speak calmly and clearly. She would move me to help her save her love._ But Caitlin wasn’t here, and he wanted Ronnie Raymond dead.

It was quick. Hunter would have liked to make it longer, but he didn’t want to let Barry escape. He wished he could see the fear of death approaching in his rival’s eyes, hear him beg, crush the life out of him, drop by drop. But he didn’t have the time, so he snapped Raymond’s neck. Killer Frost screamed piercingly, and flung herself on Deathstorm’s body as Hunter moved away. _That’s not what Cait would do. She would stand, frozen, retreating into herself. She would look at me, her eyes brimming over with tears but her voice steady, and ask me, “Why?” And I would say that I love her, that I’d done this so that we could be together, and she would droop, limp and quiet, almost dejected, and let me lead her away by the hand, putting up no fight, silently resigned. And in time, she would understand and love me for what I did._ Killer Frost, on the other hand, was merely hurting his ears.

He moved suddenly towards her, grabbing her by the throat, willing her to stop making such a stupid racket. Her eyes bugged out. Hunter had to choke back the urge to laugh. _Caitlin--Caitlin would trick me into thinking she was afraid. She would look around quickly, her big, lovely eyes scanning for a way out, feigning desperation. Then, as I was feeling safe, certain of the kill, she would wrench away, stomping, kicking, running. But she wouldn’t be able to escape. I would find her, and drag her arms behind her back, make her stop fighting, make her realize there is no way out. And she would look up at me, knowing that I may be the last sight she sees, and her eyes would give me one last message, “Make it quick,” or maybe “Please.”_ He looked back down at Killer Frost. It felt wrong to kill Caitlin--to watch the life stream out of her eyes--even if this wasn’t Caitlin. Forever, looking Caitlin in the eyes, he would see her doppelgänger’s eyes as she died.

He couldn’t do it. Dropping Frost roughly, he muttered something about how she’d served him well, even as he knew it wasn’t true. She ran, leaving Deathstorm’s body in the dust. Hunter picked up Barry’s unconscious form, growled at Reverb that he’d return for Cisco, and left.

* * *

**_ Harry _ **

After Jesse left, Wells wasn’t sure whether he should go after her. He wished she would slow down, let him explain. But he knew that half-- _most_ \--of what she had said was true, or had been.

She had needed a father, and he had failed her at every turn, just as he had failed his own daughter. Wells remembered all the times he had reminded himself that she was not his daughter, distanced himself from her, been unkind to her. He could have done more. He imagined his Jesse in the same situation. The thought made him almost physically ill. And he had been afraid of her powers. Perhaps she was right--the metahumans deserved better than this from him.

He had thought introducing her to Tess would make her happy, would give her a chance to meet the mother she had never known. Wells remembered the happy hours his daughter had spent with the A.I. after Tess died, how it had supported her unconditionally, given her the closest thing to a mother she would ever have. In his mind’s eye, he had seen Jesse deriving comfort from the computer in what could turn out to be her final moments of freedom. He’d felt guilty about what he was doing, and he’d wanted to make her smile, to give her a happy memory to hold in the days to come. But instead, he had shown her every ugly aspect of himself, made her feel that she was alone. He had rejected her in every way. It was right, then, that she now rejected him.

He knew he didn’t have a right to go after her, but he couldn’t leave her to fend for herself. She wouldn’t be able to find her way. Jesse would be a sitting duck for Zoom. Besides--if anything were to go wrong, he wouldn’t want the last conversation between them to be that argument. Wells packed up his sack, taking a mobile tracker with him, hooking it into both Jesse’s signal and Barry’s. _Hold on, Jesse Quick. I’m coming._ For the first time, he was talking to both.

“Going somewhere, Dr. Wells? And if so, may I be of assistance?” Tess’s voice came over the intercom.

“You’ve caused quite enough trouble for one day. I’ll be back soon enough,” he snapped. _It's unreasonable to be angry at a computer..._

“Will the metahuman be returning?”

“Her name is Jesse. Now SHUT UP!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Classic Wells--to think a computer is roughly equivalent to a mom.  
> Next time: Cisco and Jesse fight for their lives!


	26. Cisco, Jesse

_**Cisco** _

Cisco lay very, very quietly in the alley and tried to fight the urge to whimper as his new captor-- _my creepy evil double!_ \--approached him. _Pretend I’m dead, pretend I’m dead, pretend I’m dead!_ He closed his eyes and let his head roll back limply. But as Reverb hoisted him up by the neck, Cisco could feel himself tense up. _Maybe he’ll think that was rigor mortis setting in?_ He knew there wasn’t really a chance.

“I know you’re awake,” intoned Reverb. _What is it with these E-2 metas and impersonations? Frost did a Captain Cold voice, Zoom does a car-engine-starting voice-ish thing, and now Reverb sounds like he thinks he’s Darth Vader._ Cisco cracked open his eyes, just a touch, then closed them almost instantly. Reverb had a man-bun. A slicked-back, pomaded man-bun. Or some sort of man-half-ponytail, at any rate. The shame and grief was killing him. “We have the same powers.” It wasn’t a question, and Cisco realized that by touching him, Reverb was probably getting loads of vibes. He began to kick, hard, but it was like flailing during the fall from a high-dive, and all along, this guy could probably see everything--Laurel and Kendra and Lisa and who knows who else--Hartley--all the times he had ever been embarrassed, afraid--his brother, telling him he’d never please their parents--the day he learned he was a meta--the day he’d screamed and pleaded in unimaginable pain, begging Captain Cold to please, do anything, but leave Dante alone--the never-day he stood, paralyzed with shock as Thawne told him that he was the son he’d never had, then vibrated his hand through his chest--the day he’d met Caitlin--the first time he saw Barry run--the day Ronnie died--the day he was born--the day his parents gave up on him--today, the day he was going to-- _oh no._ He couldn't let Reverb know about what he and Barry had been planning. He could have the rest, but not that. Cisco gritted his teeth, shut his eyes, and resisted with determination. Reverb gripped him tighter. Cisco struggled for breath, panting, but the chokehold triggered more adrenaline, made him more powerful, and he was bending all his energy towards this simple act of resistance. The other meta dropped him sharply. Cisco gasped, winded for a second, then scrambled to his feet and ran as fast as he could.

The ground began to shake under him, and he lost his balance, but he dashed to the wall of the alley and found a groove in the brick for his fingers to grip, following it down the alley, away from Reverb. The ground in front of him gave way, literally dropping out, leaving a gap ten feet long. Below it, Cisco could hear running water. _Probably the sewer system._ As Cisco frantically weighed his options, the wall beside him began to crumble, quickly followed by the opposite wall. No way forward, no way to the side--if Cisco didn’t think of something fast, he was going to get buried under mounds of concrete. Cisco turned and charged towards Reverb, intending to head-butt that sardonic smile right off his face. Reverb let him get in close before holding out his hands on both sides of Cisco. He felt as if his insides were being compressed in a high-pressure chamber. His double had trapped him in between two sustained concussive blasts, and the agony was unimaginable. Cisco bit his tongue. _Don’t scream!_ From far off, he heard a moaning whimper, a wordless noise of defeat. Reverb dropped him, and Cisco fell hard, landing on his side. He curled up in a little ball, trying to bring some relief to the pain. “You’re untrained, but strong--”

“--in the ways of the force, and you’d like to recruit me for the dark side? I don’t think so, buddy.” Cisco was panting, barely able to get the words out. _How does Barry still sound brave when he’s been beaten?_

Reverb’s laugh was deep and resonant. “You think what I just did was painful? Wait until Zoom gets you. You remember your brother and Captain Cold? Well, in this situation, you’re your brother, Barry is you, and Zoom is Captain Cold. Except Zoom is far better at making people wish they were dead. Now, Vibe, I can save you from Zoom, and I can show you how to use your powers, and together, we could--”

“--rule the Galaxy, if you embrace the power of the Dark Side?”

Reverb scowled. “Don’t make fun of me. Your body’s vibrational durability doesn’t mean I can’t hurt you. Zoom will be back very soon. Now, him or me? It’s very simple.” Cisco tried to think of something clever and defiant to say, but his throat was dry, and his lungs felt like they’d been run over by a tank. He coughed and retched, his stomach too empty to vomit. When Reverb realized he wasn’t getting an answer, he started again on Cisco. “If you don’t talk soon, I’m going to go bone by bone, hitting each one with the perfect resonating frequency to make it shatter. I’d hurry, if I were you. I wouldn’t let me get to the big ones, like your--”

There was a pulsating blast of energy, a dull thud, and Jesse Thawne stood where Reverb had, breathing hard and brandishing one of Harry’s guns, dressed in a replica of the outfit the other Jesse had worn when she disappeared. She was more the spitting image of the girl in his vibes than ever--now he understood why Wells had been so adamant that he precisely recall every detail of how her clothes were torn, how her hair looked, where dirt smeared her face. She ran over to Cisco, trying to help him up. “Harry has a bunker. You’ll be safe there. I’ll send the others to you.”

Cisco struggled to his feet. “I can’t leave Barry.”

She grabbed his shoulders and shook them. “Cisco, please. Zoom’s going to be looking for you. If we’re together, he’ll find both of us. There’s nothing you can do to help Barry now.” Before he could respond, she turned him around. “Go five blocks that way, then turn right. Go two blocks that way. You’ll come to an automatic light rail system. It’s unmanned, but still running. Get on, and ride until it says Merlyn Park. Then get out and pass the park, walking back in the direction the light rail came for two blocks. There’s a cross-street there: Palmer Way. It’s big, well-kept, you can’t miss it. Then, there’s an alley, third down Palmer. There should be a grate at the bottom of the wall. I remotely coded it to let you in. If Harry isn’t there, just wait for him to get back. Oh, and stay away from the A.I. She’s really mean, and she hates all metas.”

He took a deep, gasping breath, trying not to look at Reverb’s body. “How did you find me?”

“I was looking for Barry, but Reverb made so much racket, I thought he was Zoom.”

“Is Barry alive?”

“The tracker on his suit’s still going, and I think you programmed it to stop signaling if he died. Now go!” She ran off. Cisco stumbled away, going as fast as he could. _Barry’s alive._

* * *

** _Jesse_ **

Jesse raced away, following Barry’s trace. She’d discovered during the light rail ride that her bag contained provisions, a gun, a tracker, a computer, and the outfit Cisco had created to mimic the other Jesse while concealing the communicator. Everything she needed, especially the tracker, which was invaluable. She had followed it now straight into a dense forest, where it would have been painfully easy to get lost.

Jesse was beginning to wish now that she hadn’t run from Wells. Maybe she had misjudged him. After all, it had been a long time since the A.I. had been in contact with him. If his thoughts had adjusted at all, Tess wouldn’t have registered it. And she had been at fault too. She had forced on him a guilt he didn’t want. He had told her he didn’t want her to do this, but she had decided that she knew what was best for him.

But he had wanted his daughter saved, and this was the only way. She would tell him she was sorry when she saw him again. _Will I see him again?_ For the first time, she wasn’t sure. Jesse fumbled in the bag. The tracker had a recording function, she remembered. She switched it on, trying to think of what to say.

“Dr. Wells--Harry--it’s Jesse. The other one. I just wanted to let you know, in case we don’t see each other for a while, that I’m really sorry for what I said. I don’t want to make you feel guilty for anything. You need to know that this was my decision. I hope you and your daughter are happy, and why am I even making this recording, because of course I’m going to tell you all this in person, soon. Anyway, bye.”

As Jesse leaned forward to turn off the recorder, she felt a searing pain in her shoulder. Craning her neck to look at the injury, she saw an icicle embedded in her upper back, just below her collarbone. _Oh no. Killer Frost._ Jesse struggled to her feet, gritting her teeth, trying to ignore the pain. _Where is she?_ Another icicle barely missed her neck, landing in a tree trunk just behind her. Jesse followed the throwing angle with her eyes, picking up a boulder and hurling it as hard as she could possibly manage. She heard her makeshift missile bounce away through the undergrowth. Jesse rushed to cover nearer Killer Frost’s hiding spot, pressing herself against a tree. She could feel the pain like a low throbbing in the back of her mind, and she knew that if she thought about it for long enough, it would overcome her--she would scream, sink down to the ground. Then everything would be over--Frost would kill her, give her to Zoom, torture her--Jesse didn’t know, but it wouldn’t be good. _Breathe in--two--three--four--hold--two--three--four--five--six--seven--eight--out--two--three--four--five--six--seven._ She had to slow down her breathing or Killer Frost would hear her. Another icicle landed in the middle of her palm, pinning her outstretched hand to the tree. _She’s just playing with me--breaking down my resistance, letting me wear myself out, hitting me in spots that won’t kill me, waiting for the pain to win._ Jesse wanted to scream in frustration. She could feel herself beginning to hyperventilate with the stress and pain, and she couldn’t seem to stop herself from looking at her hand, streaming blood now, almost like it was crying. Jesse wasn’t sure what the icicle had hit (tendons? muscles? blood vessels?), but whatever it was _hurt_ and kept her from being able to slightly move her fingers. _I can’t last this out._ She had to get Killer Frost into a closer range so she could defeat her then. _But how? She won’t come out unless she’s won. She wants to be absolutely certain of her victory._ When the next icicle came sailing by, Jesse didn’t dodge, feigning shock-induced paralysis. Falling down just in time for it to hit her thigh instead of her knee (the original aim could have crippled her for life), Jesse curled up in a fetal position, beginning to work her pinned arm in preparation to break the icicle and free herself. She moaned as loudly as she could.

It was a good five minutes before Frost emerged. In that time, Jesse had pretended to completely give up, uncurling, lying on the ground panting and gasping, barely moving, as if she had no more energy left. _Please let Killer Frost not be as good a doctor as Cait._ If she was, she would know instantly that Jesse was faking. The injuries Jesse had received should not be enough to take her down. Jesse let her head roll back limply, as she gazed out of the corner of her eye, assessing targets. As Killer Frost came within range, Jesse kicked her in the knee. There was an audible snap, and Frost screamed. Jesse hastily fought free of the icicle to get to her feet, pawing through her bag. _Where is that gun?_ But Frost was using her powers to stabilize her knee and numb the pain, encasing it in a cast made of ice. There were only seconds left before she’d try to fight again. Jesse retrieved the gun, clicked the safety off, and shot Frost in the arm. The other meta clutched at her injury. The gun had practically singed through Frost's skin, Jesse noted, trying to keep her gut from rebelling. _Good thing Deathstorm’s already dead--couldn’t have used this on him._  Somewhere, dimly, she was revolted by that thought. But for now, Jesse pointed the gun at Frost’s head, staring into her opponent’s face, tuning out the blood dripping steadily from her hands. _Oh no. How will I explain it if Zoom notices my injuries?_

“All right. You’re not going to attack me any more. You are going to walk in front of me and do precisely as I tell you. I am here to destroy Zoom, and I think you want that too. When I have gotten where I want to go, I will let you go, on condition that you don’t attack me or my friends ever again.”

Killer Frost looked vaguely bored. “Why would I help you destroy Zoom?”

Jesse sat down on a tree trunk, leaning forward and speaking conversationally, resting her injured hand comfortably on her knee without ever lowering her gun hand from its aim. It was theoretically a two handed gun, but it was easier right now to heft it one-handed. Killer Frost matched her body language--under different circumstances, they might have been two college girls chatting about a boy, antagonism veiled under an almost overbearing friendliness. But Jesse’s tone was stony, at odds with her smiling face. “You know why.”

Killer Frost began to inspect her nails, wincing against the pain of her injuries, struggling to stay composed. “You think because Zoom killed Ronnie, I’ll help you take him out?” She had opted for a condescending tone, as if Jesse were a small child she were trying to steal a lollipop from. It was deeply insulting.

“Why would you want to work for Ronnie’s murderer? I’m a better option. Plus, I’m holding a gun. Two hours, and I let you go.”

“How about you let me go now? I won’t fight you or Zoom, honey. I hate him as much as the next meta, but I don’t have a death wish, and that’s kind of a prerequisite for getting on his bad side.”

“You want revenge. Can you really live for years, knowing that you let Ronnie’s killer get away with it, that you didn’t try to hurt him?”

“Revenge is the sort of dumb thing Ronnie would have done. I’m smarter, darling.”

Jesse took a deep breath. “According to my map, the way forward is blocked by a cliff. I need you to get me up it.”

Frost chuckled. “I hate Zoom, but if I were dumb enough to oppose him, I’d pick more bang for my buck than a cliff.”

This was pointless. Jesse had super-strength. She could get up that cliff. Something in her had just wanted to make Zoom’s downfall come from all the people he had hurt. “Fine,” said Jesse, turning away, but Frost sniffed once and caught her by the arm, her eyes gone suddenly wide, as if she had just noticed something alarming--those eyes reminded Jesse, for some reason, of the time Jesse and Caitlin went to see a marathon of old horror movies. Caitlin, who had never seen them, was paralyzed by every single jump scare. Frost looked like she had been jump scared to within a centimeter of her life. She spoke quickly, urgently.  
“Do you smell that? Smoke, burning? He’s coming for me--the lightning causes forest fires, it’s so intense. Run. I won’t tell him you came. Crush his heart out if I don’t first. Scratch his eyes to shreds, set him on fire, snap his neck.” Her eyes bored into Jesse like she was imparting the secret to human existence. _These_ , her eyes said, _are my final wishes. What I need someone to do for my legacy._ It was as if Frost had thought she could fulfill Deathstorm’s dream and escape Zoom. But now that he was coming, she had settled for fighting him, trying to hurt him. She was at bay, in a corner, feeling instead of thinking, desperate. There wasn’t any time to ask questions, though. Jesse ran as fast as she could, smelling the smoke getting closer. She found a decent place to hide, a little cave just off a creek that ran through the forest.

Zoom passed her some minutes later. Killer Frost had failed in her revenge. Jesse felt sorry for the other meta as she hiked towards the cliff, staying well under cover. _I’ll defeat him for you. And for everyone else._ Finding a big log, she squatted down, waiting for Zoom to leave his lair. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time: Jesse meets Jesse and Harry faces an unpleasant recollection.


	27. Jesse, Harry

_**Jesse** _

Night had fallen by the time Zoom's lightning descended the cliff. Jesse advanced as silently as she could. _How do I get up to the lair?_ She needed handholds. Feeling stupid, Jesse punched the cliff face. Nothing much happened. She tried again. Surprisingly, a portion of it crumbled. _Thank goodness for superstrength._ Jesse shoved her fingers into the indentation, then began on the slow process of creating another.

Climbing a cliff using superstrength had two distinct disadvantages. The first was that it was about as fast and easy as climbing a wall with arrowheads. Jesse’s knuckles were bleeding, and she could feel the strain on her arms and shoulders spreading to her neck and back. The second was that it left undeniable traces of her presence. When Zoom returned, he would know that someone had forced their way into his lair. She needed to think of a story, fast.

Jesse pulled herself up to the ledge, surveying the scene around her. Zoom’s lair looked like it belonged to a mad scientist in a live-action Disney movie. She had to force herself not to get distracted by the equipment that littered the tables.

Barry was imprisoned in some sort of glass cube, Jesse-2 in a cage. Jesse’s double was playing absentmindedly, tracing patterns in the dust and humming to herself. Barry, slumped dejectedly against a wall, saw Jesse first, running to the opposite wall of his cube. “Jesse! You made it! Listen, I’ve explained everything to--other Jesse. We have to hurry and make the swap before he gets back. I can take Jesse out of this cave once we’re free.” Her double had noticed her now, and was staring up at her, a bright spot of hope in her cheeks. Jesse ran over to the cage, bending the bars enough that the other Jesse could step out, stretching the other Jesse’s handcuffs until she could remove her wrist. The other Jesse seemed dazed, barely able to believe she was free.

“Thank you,” she said, barely making any noise.

Jesse turned to Barry. “How do I get you out of here?” He cocked an eyebrow at her, and she realized how idiotic the question seemed. With a few well-aimed punches, she smashed a hole in his cage. He stepped out, and they both began to speak at once. Jesse barely registered anything he said.

“Jesse, there’s another--”

“Barry, this is a tracer, I’ve programmed--”

“--guy here, you have--”

“--it to give you directions--”

“--to get him out, he’s in an iron--”

“--back to my dad’s bunker--”

“--mask, and he speaks in a tap code that I haven’t been able to translate, but he could--”

“--Cisco should be there by now--”

“--know who Zoom is, or how to defeat him--”

They broke off simultaneously as Jesse-2 gave a barely audible yelp.

Zoom said from the cave entrance, “ _Two_ Jesse Wellses. I’m impressed. For a man with only one surviving family member, Harrison Wells seems to have a lot of people close to him to kill. Now, if only there were several more handy, I could experiment to find the most painful way to kill you so that your father could get the maximum effect. I rather think I’ll be consistent through the whole family. It’ll be quite a show. Anyway, I’m going to skewer your internal organs--”

Several things happened on top of each other, like dominoes.

Jesse launched herself at Zoom, trying to distract him so that Barry and Jesse-2 could escape.

Zoom grinned maliciously, watching her approach.

Barry screamed, “No!”

Jesse closed her eyes and braced for the impact. _I’m ready to die. She knew it wasn’t true. Don’t think about Thawne. Think about Mom, my friends._ But the only image of her mother was the A.I., and her friends were their doubles. She couldn’t remember how Caitlin looked as a brunette--all she could see was Killer Frost. Jesse was cold, and lonely. _It’ll be over soon._

She made a silent apology to everyone in her head. _I’m sorry._ There wasn’t time to get more sophisticated.

Jesse was hit from behind by someone who knocked the wind out of her. They rolled over and over on the ground.

The sides of Jesse’s vision began to cloud up. _Tunnel vision. How much blood have I lost?_

Jesse-2 detangled herself from Jesse, launching at Zoom, Harry’s gun upraised-- _she got it from my pack_ \--defying her kidnapper, brave and terrible for a glimmering, elusive moment.

Barry grabbed Jesse and picked her up, whispering, “She’ll be fine. She has superstrength. Let’s get you back to your dad.” Jesse tried to say something, but she’d lost control of her tongue.

Barry began to speed out of the cave.

Zoom vibrated his hand through Jesse Wells.

Her body collapsed, eyes open, staring.

Jesse-- _Thawne? Wells? Who?_ lost consciousness.

_I’m so sorry, Harry. It was supposed to be me.  
_

_I should have died._

* * *

**_ Harry _ **

_The ambulance had come too slowly. He hadn’t known which to clutch tighter--his daughter, confused, scared, not understanding, sobbing--or his wife, who was lying quietly on the ground, watching her own life pool away in the dust, struggling to keep the slightest of smiles on her face as she bit her tongue against the pain. After the first frantic minute, a sort of calm had settled. Tess’s system was in too much shock to feel the full pain, and Wells could do little until help arrived but try to make her comfortable.  
_

_Zoom might have the ambulances under his control.  
_

_Tess’s breathing was heavier now, like each breath was a struggle, as if her lungs were lined with broken glass. Wells began to wish he hadn’t shot at Zoom to make him drop her. Then Tess might not be suffering--she would have fallen, dead. There wouldn’t be this extra pain. Tess turned her face up towards him, bravery and resolve in her eyes. “Harry, the ambulance isn’t coming. You need to listen to me--”  
_

_“Damn Zoom. Don’t try to talk. I’ll call Hewitt and have him send a car around.” He pushed her head back down, but she kept on struggling to sit up. Finally, he gave in and helped her, propping her form against his chest, trying to focus on her eyes, still full of spirit, rather than the limpness in her legs. He knew without being told that she couldn’t feel them anymore. Tess leaned her head back against his shoulder with a little sigh. Jesse was tugging at his other arm. “Tess, you need to stay awake. Jesse, go talk to Mom.”  
_

_Jesse shook her head. “Dad, I think she wants to talk to you. There’s not a lot of--”  
_

_He interrupted. “The doctors are coming, very soon. Everything’s going to be alright.” Tess grabbed Jesse’s arm and pulled her down next to her.  
_

_Jesse sat down an inch away from Tess. His wife leaned in towards her. They pressed their foreheads together and whispered, as if holding a talk in some language known only to themselves. Jesse nodded suddenly, ducking her head as though being crowned or accepting a medal. Tess kissed Jesse’s forehead, and his daughter got up, walking unsteadily. He grabbed her by the arm. “Jesse, I need you to go out to the road, and jump up and down and yell when you see anyone. If they stop, tell them your mother got attacked and she needs help.”  
_

_Jesse ran away, her new dress flapping, nearly tripping over the remains of the picnic basket. They shouldn’t have left the bunker, and he knew it, but his daughter had begged to go down to the river. He pulled Tess closer and turned her face towards him.  
_

_Her girlish features looked back. With a sudden throb in his heart, he remembered the first day they met--Tess walking into the class he’d been teaching and sitting down in the back row, eyes intent the whole lesson, barely taking notes, just staring at him. He’d been paying for his PhD by teaching an intro-level physics class. Although she was a medicine major who was getting a minor in business, she had been his best student--brilliant, talented, dedicated, kind. He hadn’t really been a professor, but she’d always called him “sir” or “Dr. Wells.” Nobody had much liked his classes, and his tutorials had been rather empty, but she had come every day, sometimes just to talk over matters in the outside world. She’d done her internship with him. Together, they had come up with a large portion of the theory behind the new accelerator. He’d known what he felt quickly, but he’d dismissed it--it was inappropriate for him to develop anything deeper than a professional friendship with her. So if she got in too close, he’d looked away._

_She kept in touch with him after she graduated--did a year touring around the world, doing medical work in needy places. He hunkered down to his new job--he’d quit the university--and tried not to think of Tess in a war zone. From the photos she sent, she appeared to be having fun, though he felt a twinge of jealousy whenever there was a boy in them. When she wrote to announce she was returning and hoped they could get together, he’d reminded himself that she saw him as a mentor. Tess had worn a fake ring on her finger to make him jealous. She’d not been sure what he felt--and she’d always been a little mischievous. Within the next week, she’d crammed his answering machine with the entire sob story of her fake breakup, but he never answered._

_He’d written to her tersely to say that he was leaving to return to Central City--his childhood home--and start his own laboratory. She’d applied under a false name to join his staff and been in the seat next to his on the plane when he left. He’d been startled to see her--he’d been trying to escape her, to get used to being alone again. Even if they were no longer teacher and student, he’d explained in the airport terminal--as, after cold-shouldering her the entire flight, he tried to force her on a plane back home--she was still the wealthy daughter of an influential family, still someone with an exciting life of her own to look forward to, a life that involved saving lives, not tinkering with gadgets and gears. Everyone thought he was insane, and he wouldn’t let them think that of her. Her mother wouldn’t approve--but she had stopped him. Her mother, she argued, wasn’t in love with him. She was, and apparently, she had left, gone across the world to shake it. Tess told him that day that she’d gazed up at the Taj Mahal, the Atlantenaeum, the Athena Parthenos, the Arctic ice gardens, and only been able to imagine what it would be like to see them with him. She wanted to be his friend, if she couldn’t have his love, to be by his side in any capacity he would let her. Tess had missed him, and she felt guilty about pursuing him when he didn’t want to be pursued, she’d told him. She had still been calling him ‘sir’, which he’d found oddly grotesque. He’d told her that he’d hire her after she finished her masters, he’d lied and told her he didn’t love her, he’d even told her there was another woman, although he couldn’t think of a name when pressed, which made Tess laugh bitingly. She had left then, deeply unhappy, and he had felt horribly guilty._

_He hadn’t heard from her at all while she finished her degree. His lab was beginning to become successful, one of the finest up-and-coming labs in Central City. But his parents had died that year. When Tess had shown up at a fundraising party, she’d grown up so much he barely recognized her. When he finally realized that it was indeed her, he’d tried to leave, but she’d cornered him. She wanted to see the plans for the accelerator prototype, she’d said. He’d taken her down to the blueprint room, and she’d spread them out eagerly, trying to drink them in with her eyes. He’d left her alone there._

_She’d shown up at a stockholders’ meeting the next day, having bought out the shares of all the most annoying board members. They’d begun to work together to try to get funding for the accelerator model project--or rather, she’d taken much of that over so he could concentrate on the lab. Tess dropped by the lab at night and he would show her around, lecturing her about his work as excitedly as if she were still his student. Neither ever spoke about what had passed between them--Tess had boyfriends, he knew. They were more comrades-in-arms than anything else. But she’d come to him one day, her face a mess of tears. Her mother was going to make her come home. He’d told her that he would do anything to help her. She’d told him that her mother was upset about him working with her, that it was ruining her reputation, that everyone she knew thought they were together and not planning on getting married. She’d asked if he’d accept her resignation--she was moving away to work in a lab in Miami. She wanted to apologize for imagining he’d loved her--she knew that wasn’t true. Harrison Wells had felt a sickness growing in his stomach. He had looked her straight in the eyes as he asked her where she’d gotten that idea. Scientists, he told her, should go with conclusions supported by facts. She’d rattled off a rather impressive list of times he’d rejected her. Suddenly, she’d stopped, seemed to steel herself, and kissed him. He was startled, but he didn’t want to let her go--he couldn’t manage to say goodbye to her again and there was nothing wrong if they loved each other because they were equals now._

_That had been Trial 1, she told him impishly when she finally let him go. They had repeated for accuracy a lot.  
_

_Now he had to say goodbye--the one thing he’d never been able to do. “Tess, there’s got to be at least one ambulance driver who Zoom doesn’t control--”  
_

_She looked so young, dying. “--Harry, really? Zoom doesn’t control the ambulance drivers. They’re just busy--there’s not enough of them.” Her breathing was rusty-sounding.  
_

_“Tess, we’re going to fix this.”  
_

_She smiled gently up at him. “No. You are. You always do. All I ever did was pull your head out of the clouds--” They’d both laughed weakly then--Tess was the dreamer, he was the pragmatist. It was a well-established fact of their long partnership. “But you have to listen to me--Harry, keep her safe. You two can be happy together...you were always so alike...she idolizes you...”  
_

_He grinned. “More your daughter than mine. I never idolized me.”  
_

_“Harry, promise me.”  
_

_It was Tess’s most stubborn voice, the one which meant there was no compromise to be brooked. “I promise, of course.”  
_

_When Tess died some minutes later, a merry laugh half frozen on her lips, he walked over to Jesse. She was jumping frantically at every car on the road, but there were far too many people looking for help. “Jesse, you can stop now.”  
_

_She turned, as if about to rejoice that the ambulance came. But he couldn’t seem to stand anymore--the horizon, the place where Tess had always been for him, began to swim. Jesse caught him by the arm. “Jesse--Jesse Quick...she’s gone. It’s just us.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just so everyone understands--Harry is remembering this after Barry brings Jesse in. He, like everyone else, thinks she's his Jesse, and watching her lying there is reminding him of Tess.
> 
> I'd love to hear from you guys! Please feel free to ask me questions, offer criticism, etc.!
> 
> In other news, this fic has now reached a thousand hits! Thanks for reading all this time!
> 
> Next time: Harry realizes what happened, and Caitlin grieves.
> 
> Also, I really hate HR already. As Cisco said...there's only one Harry. Goodbye, Harry Wells. I'm pretty sure that literally everyone is going to miss you.


	28. Harry, Harry, Caitlin

_**Harry** _

He’d had to give up looking and go back. He’d found Cisco there, and together, they’d waited until Barry had brought her back. Harry stared at his daughter’s motionless body. Cisco had told him she was alive, definitely alive, injured badly, lost a lot of blood, but for sure alive. They had needed to rush back through the breach quickly so Caitlin could do a transfusion.

Barry had been brief about what had happened. Zoom had been onto them. The other Jesse was dead. Zoom had an unidentifiable masked man captive.

Cisco had connected the dots. Reverb must have seen all four of them coming through the breach and reported to Zoom. The entire thing had been a set-up.

Now Jesse Thawne was dead, and his daughter was about to wake up. The team was in the other room, coming to terms with what had happened to Garrick. Wells didn’t give a damn about what had happened to Garrick.

He didn’t know who to focus on--the girl who died or the girl on the table. _Jesse Thawne._ He remembered how cocky she’d been about the mission, how she’d talked eagerly about kicking Zoom in the knees. She hadn’t gotten the chance. He’d played the tape she left on loop, over and over and over again. And he’d thought about everything she’d said to him, basked in self-loathing. Wells had tried to think about what to tell his daughter, how much of the blame he should take. He felt guilty for how much he wished she didn’t know. Wells wanted his daughter to love him, to be happy he’d saved her. How could she when Jesse Thawne had died? There was no one else to carry this guilt, no one to grieve with him. The others were preoccupied with Garrick.

Barry had said she’d been brave, launched out right at Zoom. His daughter had tried to stop her. But Jesse had learned what Harrison Wells had already known--nobody could stop Jesse Thawne.

His daughter seemed to stir. A part of him wished she’d never have to wake up, remember the horrors of what she’d been through. He’d seen a change in Allen’s eyes after less than a day of Zoom. Zoom had had Jesse for months. _What will her eyes be like? My daughter is a refugee, a war victim. She has seen things I will never see._ He wished she could dream forever, never have a nightmare again. But this wasn’t his sheltered little girl anymore.

She began to cough, suddenly. He raised her up, helping her to sit. “Jesse, it’s okay. I’ve got you. Zoom’s gone. We are going to get back at him. Nobody messes with my daughter.”

Jesse looked at him. There was some sort of burden on her, weighing her eyes down. “I’m not your daughter. Your daughter’s dead. I’m the other Jesse.”

He could feel his hands convulsively gripping the table. “That’s not true. Barry said Jesse Thawne was dead. You are my daughter. Just rest, Jesse.” But even as he said it, he began to feel his knees going limp. There was a dreadful nausea building in his stomach. _Children don’t die before their parents._ But how many piles of bodies had he seen on Earth-2?

She shook her head, coughing weakly. “She tackled me and grabbed your gun. I was going to try and distract him, but she didn’t let me. It was supposed to be me.”

He couldn’t find something to say. _I will never see my daughter again. The last time I ever saw her, she hated me._

_My daughter can never forgive me.  
_

_This is not my daughter.  
_

Harrison Wells left the room _._

* * *

**_ Harry _ **

_He was sitting at his desk, scribbling frantically. There were deaths in the streets, and it was his fault. He had created these monsters, and he had paid. Now it was time to fix what he’d done, to save thousands of others from dying as Tess had._

_On the table were the blueprints for meta-detecting apps, meta-subduing weapons, meta-alert bracelets. Nobody else would die like Tess did.  
_

_If he could have his way, every last disgusting monster he’d created would be destroyed forever. But that would be too controversial. Nobody would agree until their families died, and then it would be too late.  
_

_He envisioned a world of halfway measures. Metahumans living separately, apart, with fences and walls and guards to stop them from getting in to society. If people wouldn’t have that, then badges for metas so people knew to stay away, mandatory meta testing for children--the genes might be transmitted. Research so everyone knew how and why to avoid metas. Metas could be drafted into the army, even--it would help the country while keeping them away from society.  
_

_It would never be enough, not until every single meta in the world was dead. He wished he could do it all himself.  
_

_Jesse banged on the door of his office. “Dad, please, come out! I need you!”  
_

_Harrison Wells continued to scribble._

* * *

** _Caitlin_ **

Caitlin couldn’t think. She had known Jay was going to die soon. She had prepared herself to say goodbye to him. She’d had practice with saying goodbye. Ronnie...her father...

But she never got to say goodbye to Jay. His eyes had just glazed over, his face frozen in one of his goofy smiles, and she’d not really understood, and he’d crumpled, his knees giving out, and that was when she’d seen the hand. Zoom’s hand, silver-black gloved, lightning crackling through it.

And she hadn’t said goodbye, because she’d thought she wouldn’t have to. There was a cure, his cells were restabilizing. For the first time, Caitlin had really been able to save someone she cared about.

But then Zoom had vibrated his hand through Jay’s chest, and there was nothing she could do.

_I was there, holding the communicator, and I heard Ronnie die and there was nothing I could do.  
_

_I sat at my father’s bedside and held his hand when they pulled the plug and there was nothing I could do.  
_

_I stood when my mother drove away and left me and there was nothing I could do.  
_

_There was nothing I could do when Ronnie attacked me, when he didn’t know who I was. Nothing when my grandfather died. Nothing when Cisco was dying. I thought by being a doctor, by working with Barry, I’d be able to do **something**.  
_

But Jay’s body had dropped in front of her and all she could do was scream. And now she was sitting in the Cortex, staring at his helmet. Cisco hovered awkwardly around her, but far away. _He doesn’t know what to do, but there’s nothing he can do._ It was Jay who had taught her to accept things she couldn’t change. _But I was right; I could have cured him._

Nobody could cure him of this.

Jay, her partner in crime, supportive, caring, gentle, kind, lonely, missing half himself, her second other half. He had been so worried about protecting her, but he had stood in front of the breach.

And she could never see him again. Zoom had taken him away. Caitlin wasn’t going to let Barry compromise with Zoom, or put him in the pipeline. She felt numb, as if she were holding an ice pack over torn tendons to put the swelling down. But she still knew she wanted Zoom dead, and she wouldn’t settle for less. Jay wasn’t the end, though--that was the worst part.

Jesse Wells was dead. She hadn’t been able to tell Wells that his daughter was dead, but Caitlin knew how to spot her friend--a meta, no less. Another death, another tragedy. Caitlin felt like she should be crushed by grief right now, but she felt strangely empty, passive.

_Does losing people you love get easier by the person? If that’s true, how does Barry find the strength to fight? If that’s true, how long until I stop caring?_

She had to get out of here. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time: Caitlin has a team-up, and Jesse returns to work at Mercury, where she gets some advice, gets some death threats, and makes a new friend.
> 
> Comments make my day!!


	29. Jesse, Caitlin, Jesse

_**Jesse** _

Jesse went back to Mercury Labs the next day, telling Eliza that she’d gotten in a car accident to explain the bandages on her leg, hand, and shoulder. When she got back, Tina was waiting for her. “Jesse. I was hoping to find some time to introduce myself.”

She turned red. “Tina, the mission failed. I’m the same Jesse. The other one’s dead.” Tina froze, her hand over her mouth. 

“Oh. I’m so sorry. Would you like to talk about it?” Jesse shook her head. There was a long silence before Tina continued. “Well, I have something that may take your mind off it. Eliza’s had a rather rough week, and I’m a little worried about her. I had to shut down her speed serum project. The ethical ramifications were mounting far too steeply. In addition, I believe she’s become estranged from her sister. Would you mind seeing if there’s anything you can do for her, Jesse? I firmly believe that the best thing one can do when something awful has happened to oneself is to devote oneself to assisting someone else.” Jesse nodded. Tina leaned forward. “Did Barry succeed in setting Zoom back in any way at all?” Jesse shook her head. Silence settled gently over them. 

When Jesse spoke, it was without looking at Tina. “You might have heard of another Flash--Zoom killed him. Same way he killed Jesse Wells--hand phased through the chest. I’m not sure if Barry can keep fighting. Things at the lab are--automatic--everyone’s just doing it because they can’t think of anything else to do.”

Tina laid her hand on Jesse’s knee. “It’s merely reaching a crisis. I’ve seen it in the lab a thousand times. One too many discouragements can cause someone to feel adrift, cut off from their drive to continue. The important thing is that your friends are still continuing. In time, they’ll figure it out. And if they don’t continue, that is their choice. For now, the most important thing you can do is keep on helping anyone you can, however you can. Maybe...there’s a reason Jesse Wells died. She fought so long, it must have exhausted her. But you can continue the fight. Even if you never see Zoom again, if you continue to live your life as if you are not afraid of him, then you have fought back.”

Jesse swallowed. “Thanks, Tina.” But Tina hadn't really helped. It wasn't as if there was anything anyone could do.

When Jesse got up to her room, she called Eliza. Her friend answered the phone merrily, but Jesse had heard Caitlin use that tone before. “Hey, Jesse! What’s up?”

“I was thinking we could brainstorm new projects together. McGee rejected my initial idea, so I’m back to the drawing board. That sucks about your speed serum. McGee told me it was a tough call. What are you looking into?”

Eliza’s laugh was slightly unnatural. “Actually, I can’t talk right now, Jesse. I’m at a club. My sister’s been ragging me about having no fun, so I am further diminishing my dwindling savings in search of some depravity!”

Jesse frowned worriedly. “Eliza, are you drunk? Why don’t I pick you up and drive you home? McGee would have a fit if she heard!”

Eliza hiccuped. “Oh, lighten up, Marie Curie. McGee doesn’t control me! I am-- _hic_ \--independent of her, the dumb harpy! She wouldn’t know plagiarism if it hit her in the face!”

Jesse was shocked. “McGee didn’t know that the project was based off of Caitlin’s notes?”

“No, duh! Otherwise she wouldn’t have approved it! Cait asked for help on it, but it was after she left for STAR Labs. McGee got wind and gave me one of her patented lectures on intellectual integrity.” Eliza laughed raucously.

So Eliza’s project was based off work stolen from Caitlin, not work left uncompleted when Caitlin left for Mercury Labs. “Eliza, you just need to move on from this--”

“No, McGee needs to move on! She’s going to tank my whole career over this! It wasn’t a big deal--Cait wasn’t going to use it! And I worked hard on that project. I deserve the recognition!”

“Why don’t you ask Cait if you can have the rights to the work? List her as a collaborator?”

Eliza’s tone was haughty. “Who cares about by-the-book anymore, Jesse? Nobody needs to know I got it from Cait!” She turned suddenly confiding, ingratiating. “You won’t tell, and if you contradict McGee, well, you’re an independent witness.”

Jesse recoiled. “Eliza, I’m not going to lie for you. Dr. McGee has done so much for me!”

The other line went silent for a moment. When Eliza spoke, her tone was cold. “Fine. Be a spoilsport. But if anything comes up, just say you don’t know.”

“Eliza, if anyone asks me, I’m going to tell the truth. My advice is that you don’t do anything you wouldn’t want someone to know about.”

“Alright, you be puritanical. I’ll figure it out. You won’t have to talk to anyone at all. Talk later, Jess.”

“Bye, Eliza.”

* * *

**_ Caitlin  _ **

Caitlin was sick of Wells, Barry, and _especially_ Cisco being wary around her. This wasn’t how Cisco usually acted when he was worried about her. He tended to be overzealous, trying to constantly be around her, to spy on her, make sure, doubly sure, and triply sure that she was one hundred and ten percent okay. Now he just avoided her. She felt lonely. In retrospect, she realized how much Cisco’s support had meant to her. Now, he looked askance at her from the side of the room, as if she were a piece of tech that might or might not explode at any minute. 

It had been weeks since the excursion to Earth-2, and nobody had told Caitlin anything at all about it. It was like they thought that she was fragile, like porcelain, that hearing anything uncomfortable would shatter her. _I am strong_ , she wished she could say. She’d stolen the communicator off Jesse, but there hadn’t been any data on it, because they hadn’t switched it on. Wells had wanted to make sure the swap between the Jesses was successful first. Caitlin had exhausted everything she could think of. That’s why she was knocking on Iris West’s door while Barry was out on night patrol and Joe was working late.

Iris opened, her face registering ill-disguised surprise. “Cait! Hi! What can I do for you? Come in! Barry isn’t back yet.” She turned back and yelled into the house, “Hey Wally, can you run and see if Dad left his phone in his room? I thought I heard a ring.” 

A male voice answered. “Yep. Want me to run it to him at the station?”

“Oh, could you? My deadline’s tomorrow, so I’m contemplating an all-nighter.” Iris signaled Caitlin to be silent until they heard a car starting in the garage, then Caitlin found herself dragged in the house as the garage door opened. “We’re trying to keep Wally out of Barry’s job. Right now, he doesn’t know Barry’s affiliated with STAR Labs, so I didn’t want him to see you. Anyway, enough about Wally. What’s wrong? Do you need me to call Barry?”

Caitlin swallowed. “Actually, I was hoping to talk to you.”

Iris nodded. “Let me guess. You know something about Earth-2, and you were wondering if Barry had told me, because you thought I should know.” Caitlin’s face must have registered her perplexity. Iris asked hopefully, “Do you know anything?” 

Caitlin shook her head. “I was hoping Barry had talked to you and Joe.”

Iris laughed, throwing her head back. “Barry? Talk? That’s like imagining Cisco doing a marathon of Star Wars prequels.”

“Actually, I think Cisco likes the prequels. Anyway, are you interested in finding out?”

“I’m literally a journalist, Cait. I’ve tried everything. Are you telling me you have a Plan B I didn’t think of?”

Caitlin hesitated. “It’s dangerous, and illegal, and they wouldn’t like it, but I was thinking about Cisco’s undetectable invisible drones. He thinks he lost track of them because the invisibility feature stopped shutting off, but I had a friend remotely hack them to reappear. Then I stole them. I was wondering if you’d like to be in on it with me. You deserve to know.”

Iris stuck out a hand. “As our powered friends say... ‘Team-up’?”

Caitlin shook it. “Team-up.”

* * *

**_ Jesse _ **

In the week since Jesse had last talked to Eliza Harmon, Eliza had quit the lab, gotten arrested once, been caught on security cameras breaking into the lab three times, and eventually disappeared completely. Her roommate called the police, only for them to find her safe and sound at the lab. Tina was grimmer than ever. Eliza would show up randomly, pretending everything was okay, then disappear as suddenly as she had come. Jesse could barely stop thinking about her poor friend. But it wasn’t until the murder attempts started happening that Tina got worried.

A few days after the phone conversation, Gabby Brown’s cell culture unit had blown up when Jesse was in the room. The two girls barely escaped. Just two days later, a pile of bricks had toppled off a roof Jesse was walking under. She’d run, fast, but ended up getting her foot crushed nearly to bits. And the next day, she and Tina almost died when arsenic somehow ended up in their water supply. Luckily, Jesse had been helping Tina clean the fishbowl when they noticed the fish seeming sick. They transferred them back to their old water immediately, and got the water tested. 

“You need to leave the lab. Go somewhere it’s harder to target you. Everything that’s happened so far could look like it was an accident. I’m sending you talent-scouting at the college. Go have some fun. Don’t take your responsibilities too seriously, except for your duty to stay alive. I will move into a hotel and get some people to investigate this. Don’t tell Barry just yet. I’m worried he’d be inclined to be too harsh with Eliza. What she needs is help. The side effects of that serum...poor girl.” Jesse had nodded, hugged Tina, and left.   
Now she was standing in a lab at Central City College, leaning on her crutch, trying not to put any weight on her boot, and watching an eager group of chemists work. Apparently, her job was to “network”, which meant being friendly to the students while noticing which seemed like hard workers and good scientists. 

She wasn’t thinking or looking ahead on the walk to the next class, but he was definitely walking way too fast around the corner. She went sprawling, her notes flying in every direction. He instantly stopped. “Hey, I am so sorry! I’ll help pick those up. You new here?”

Jesse shook her head, struggling to her feet. “I’m talent scouting for Mercury. But I used to go here.”

He whistled. “Really? You look like you go here. I’m Wally West. I’m getting my Masters here.” 

“Mercury hired me fresh off Bachelor’s.” 

“I’m 22.”

“19.”

He whistled appreciatively. “Where you headed?”

“Harding’s engineering class. Room 206.”

“That’s me too. It’s tricky to find since the building remodel. You want me to walk you there?”

She nodded gratefully. The last thing she wanted to do was to arrive late. “Wait a second, did you say Wally West? We might have a mutual friend. Do you know Barry Allen?”

His face hardened into a mask. “Yeah, I know him,” Wally admitted cautiously. 

“Does that face mean you think he’s a jerk, or you think I was rude to ask, or something else? Cause you’re right on the first one. Barry can be a massive jerk. I should know, ‘cause he’s kind of my legal owner, even though he’s like, not that much older than me. I’m Jesse, by the way.”

Wally laughed, his guard much further down. “Legal owner, huh? What happened? He pick you up from the pound? Can’t imagine anybody would think he was responsible enough to get a pet puppy, much less a pet scientist.”

“My dad owned a lab. He left it to Barry, with the stipulation that Barry look after me.”

Wally grinned. “Ouch. Got to sting. That why you’re in crutches?”

“Hardly. The crutches were just from a pile of bricks in the wrong place at the wrong time.”

“Oh. It’s just, everything Barry touches gets messed up, so I thought...anyway, not important. You know, you’re the first person I’ve ever met who doesn’t worship the ground under his feet. Ever since I stepped in Joe’s house, I have had the unique opportunity to one day, if I work hard, and all the stars align, to one day be half as good as Barry Perfection-Walks-on-Earth Allen.”

“Preaching to the choir, Wally. My dad literally left a lab to him. I’m not sure if it was because he liked him, or because he felt guilty.”

“Guilty?”

“Oh. You’re not from here, are you? My dad killed Barry’s mom. Left a tape confessing in his will.” Jesse spoke matter-of-factly, but watched his face from the corner of her eye. To her surprise, he laughed, ruefully.

“And here I was, thinking my life sucks.”

“Barry means well.”

“I know he does. It’s just that he gets way more credit for meaning well than anyone else I know. Anyway, here we are. How long you scouting for?”

“I don’t know right now. Probably a while.”

His smile was infectiously energetic. “Good. Otherwise, I would have had to figure out a way into Henhouse Labs. I don’t exactly relish McGee catching me. A little awkward to explain what I was doing... Anyway, hang out sometime?”

Jesse transferred her crutch to the other hand to fist-bump him. “Sure, Wally.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, Wally's here!! And Caitlin's Killer Frost plot line isn't all too awful!
> 
> I love hearing from all you guys! It makes posting worthwhile, even when college apps are killing me :)
> 
> Hopefully, Eliza makes sense. I tried to give her decent motivations that are more reasonable than "well, taking speed drugs is fun so I'm going to go rob a bunch of people right now..." Also, apologies for my depiction of a drunk person...having never been drunk or witnessed someone's drunkenness, I am relying on what I've read!!
> 
> Next time: Caitlin is indignant, and Wally is concerned.


	30. Caitlin, Jesse

_**Caitlin** _

When the footage from the drones was done playing, Caitlin sat next to Iris in a shocked silence. They had programmed three of the purloined drones to follow Wells, Barry, and Cisco and to send an alert when all three ended up in the same location. When Caitlin got the alert, she’d started taping. She’d headed to Iris’s house with her prize that night. Iris, with Joe and Wally away on a contrived errand, had rather ironically made popcorn. Neither of them had touched it past the first minute of footage.

There had been little about Joe and Iris (at least, nothing that had been discussed.) Instead, it had almost all been about Caitlin. Whether or not she had powers, whether she was secretly working against them, whether she was dangerous, whether her grief would drive her insane--it made her wish she could scream, cry, hit them, yell. Was everything she’d done, sacrificed, become, for Barry’s crusade--was that not enough for them to trust her, to talk to her, to think of her as a rational person, to give her the benefit of the doubt?

To be fair, Barry had been fairly reasonable, and Wells had hardly spoken at all, except to remind Barry and Cisco that they couldn’t tell Caitlin anything about Earth-2, because there would be world-shaking consequences, if _God forbid_ , anyone were to tell Caitlin Snow the truth for a split _second_! 

_Is this what created Killer Frost?_ Caitlin wished, for a moment, that she were a meta, that she had the power to make changes in the world. But the people she wanted to change were her friends, and shooting ice from her hands wouldn’t fix that. 

_Why does nobody here trust me?_ She was so angry, angrier than ever before. _Is this dangerous? Is it wrong? Would I be better off just swallowing it and coming to work tomorrow as though I am no longer human, as though I don’t feel anger and grief?_ Was this what Cisco meant--that strong emotions made people snap? She didn't feel snapped--she felt powerful. 

But this was what her mother had warned against. _Giving in to emotions makes women look weak. Men think that we are incapable of control, that we can’t see logic. They say only women cry, only women yell. It’s not true._

So she needed to prove that she was strong, capable of accepting every insult they threw at her. Of proving them wrong. _I wish I could yell hard enough to make them feel stupid._

She turned to Iris. “This sucks. Cisco would call this a Kobayashi Maru. If I get mad, it proves them right--I’m fragile. If I do nothing, it lets them think this is okay. They try to protect me, but they’re also afraid of me, because I’m not supposed to--grieve? Get mad? Get powers? Lose control sometimes? Be a separate person from my doppelgänger? I just wish they’d talked to me-- Ugh, I hate being lied to.”

Iris draped her arm over the back of the couch. “Doesn’t everyone?”  
Caitlin laughed hollowly. “I know I keep secrets, but stuff like this sure makes me wish I didn't. I kind of feel like jumping up on a building and yelling, _Barry Allen is the Flash, and I'm his doctor,_ just to get it off my chest.” She didn't mention the secrets she and Jay had kept.

Iris pursed her lips, nodding. “Yeah, I know. I probably would, but Barry would hate it, which is weird, because he's literally the only person who hates being lied to more than me. You know, as a kid, he used to have these raving screaming fits...you know, Cait, I think it’s sexism. Our teacher in school just used to let him and the other boys yell it all out, but us girls all got told we had to cry quietly like ladies. Caitlin--do you actually want advice, or do you just want to complain? Because I've basically been in your situation, and I've got plenty of ideas."

She groaned. "Advice. I need _help._ "

Iris grinned. "Okay, here’s the thing, Cait, and I’ve thought about this a lot, what with learning about all the stuff Joe and Francine were keeping from me--do you want to yell? Actually?”

Caitlin bit her lip. “It doesn’t fix things.”

Iris chuckled. “You know, you’re just like my interviewees--really good at evading the question. Do you want to yell? Right now?”

Caitlin nodded. “Yeah.”

“Why?”

“It seems fair--”

Iris cut her off. “So you want to yell because the others would yell if this happened to them. See, that’s what I thought when I learned how many people in my life were complicit in keeping Barry’s identity a secret. So I yelled, and I cold-shouldered just as well as anybody could have done. But here’s the thing--yelling hurts my throat. It’s kind of stupid, when you think about it, that that’s how humanity reacts to things they don’t like--and you’re a doctor, so you probably know more about the health issues than I do. And if you yell, they will yell back, I promise. Barry, for instance, is absolutely horrible at taking a yelling without arguing. He used to go at it with Joe for hours over little stuff like not washing the dishes--there was always an excuse for what he did, always some way to shift the blame. Don’t get me wrong, I love Barry, but--I think someone needs to find a moral high ground in this mess, and they yell whenever they like, so they’re not going to look for it.”

Caitlin groaned. “Why is it my job to find moral high ground?”

“Well, yelling feels good, but humanity’s got to evolve somehow! And some people like that stuff--fighting, yelling, aggression. If you don’t like being yelled at, don’t yell. You strike me as a bit of a pacifist, anyway.”

“Jay tried to teach me how to fight. I hated it,” Caitlin blurted.

“I have a gun in my purse right now that I wish I didn’t know how to fire.” They laughed companionably as Iris reached for the popcorn. “Anyway, if you yell back, it just starts a cycle of yelling, and I don’t think you want to go deaf. I also think that, unlike Barry circa age 9, you don’t need to yell to make a point.” 

“You’re right. But doing nothing doesn’t fix things either. There’s got to be a third option.”

“How about acceptance? Just--tell them you know what they’re concerned about, you’re not mad about it, and you don’t have any meta genes, so they don’t need to worry.” When Caitlin hesitated, Iris continued, “Would you rather focus on this, or on stopping Zoom, getting revenge for Jay, and healing from losing him?”

“We should hang out more often. You give good advice.”

Iris smiled ruefully. “Long and hard experience, Cait.”

"Ha. I'm older than you, and married. Don't pull the experience card." A silence settled. “I just still think it’s so--dumb that they thought something so ridiculous about me.”

Iris seemed to be struck with a sudden burst of inspiration. A slow smile began to curve her lips. “I know. Cait, make them realize just how dumb it is!”

“How? I wish I could, but--”

“I mean, it’s so--so hilarious! Like, stick your hands in the freezer, or something, and pretend it really did happen. Putting that up against real life makes it clear how stupid it is to be scared that you’ll get cold hands and change your name--”

“Oh! Iris, that’s brilliant! Can you help? I’m not sure how to go about it--”

Iris checked her watch. “Well, I think Joe and Wally won’t be home for another half hour. So we can work now, and why don’t you see if you can find out more so we can make it pretty realistic. I can probably make it to your house tomorrow.”

“Aren’t you on deadline?”

Iris burst out laughing. “No,” she said, exaggerating the lip motion and shaking her head.

“That was just to get Wally out of the house earlier. I get all my work done at the office. Otherwise, you never know when Joe and Wally are going to get so loud I can’t work.”

“Fighting?”

“That and watching race car movies on the TV.”

* * *

**_ Jesse _ **

Jesse stared across the car at Wally, who was _definitely_ not keeping his eyes on the road. His driving was good, all right--graceful, elegant, and composed--but the way he was staring at her made her nervous. If he didn’t watch the other cars, how was he going to avoid accidents?

“It’s really nice of you to give me a ride--”

Wally chuckled. “You said that yesterday, too, Jesse. It’s no trouble, really.”

Jesse groaned with mock dismay. “But that’s my only conversation starter!” 

“Um...okay...seriously, really? C’mon, Jesse. Even I can do better. How about--oh, wow, this is actually hard...um, what are you doing tomorrow night? ‘Cause if you don’t have family in town, we could do dinner and a movie? There’s a new zombie movie out. And I could kind of use an excuse to not sit through family dinners.”

 _Oh no._ “Wally--”  
The car was topping a rise when Wally abruptly put his foot on the brakes. “Shhh.” He seemed to fiddle with something, then pulled over to the side of the road, parking there. “One sec.” Wally leaped out of the car quickly and ran around to the hood, opening it up.

Jesse leaned back, grateful for the reprieve. _I like hanging out with him--Joe and Iris are trying to protect him--Eliza’s trying to kill me--Barry doesn’t know--Tina said I should live a little--if anything goes wrong I can protect him--I couldn’t protect Jesse-2..._

All her thoughts vanished as the car began to slide backward down the hill. Jesse flattened herself against the seat, holding on as tightly as she could without crushing anything. Wally screamed, and began to run down the hill after the car. He was yelling at her, but someone else was honking, and the wind was rushing past. Jesse reached for the emergency brake, but Wally screamed, “No!” She braced for impact.

Airbags bloomed around her. Her purse fell off the dash and landed heavily on the brake. The crash wasn’t as bad as she’d expected--not nearly as painful as everything else she’d been through. She heard a faint beeping. Wally had caught up to the car. He yelled, “Jesse, get out! It’s going to blow!” _Eliza_. The door was locked, and she couldn’t open it. Jesse smashed through the front windshield. “Go, go, go!” Wally yelled, reaching to catch her as she heaved herself out of the car. “Run!” he screamed at curious passers-by. “Everyone get away! Please! Run!” He realized that the boot stopped her from running when he pulled at her and she tripped, trying to run without putting too much weight on her injury. Wally scooped her up, draping her over his shoulder. He took off running for a second, then hurled both of them to the ground as the car exploded behind them. 

They lay there, shaking with terror for a long while. Jesse was the first to sit up. “Wally, I’m so sorry about the car. I don’t know what I did wrong.--”

He stopped her. “Jesse, we need to go find my dad.”

“What? Why?”

“Jess--someone’s trying to kill you.”

 _Oh no,_ thought Jesse for the second time in less than five minutes. “What--how do you know?”

Wally pulled her up. “No time. Ambulances are gonna come any minute, and I don’t want to be at the station till midnight sorting this out. C’mon, can you walk?” 

“My crutches were in the car.”

“How long till you’re supposed to start putting weight on?”

Jesse tried to remember what Tina had said. “3 weeks from when I got it, so--not yet.”

“Okay, I’ll carry you some. Hey, you were pretty great back there.”

She laughed, trying awkwardly to help him lift her by looping her arms around his neck and trying to swing her legs onto his arms. “Not so bad yourself.”

He was strong, but not _that_ strong, and she could hear him panting loudly. It was pretty funny to watch. Jesse could have carried them both herself if it weren’t for her stupid leg. He collapsed onto a bench that was just out of sight of the accident. “There’s a medical supply shop across the way. We can get you some new crutches there.”

She awkwardly shifted off his lap. “What do you mean, someone’s trying to kill me?” 

He turned to face her, worry practically written in caps lock across his face. He spoke in a whisper, glancing over his shoulder as if there might be enemies watching them even now. _Someone’s seen too much James Bond._ “The car was tampered with. Someone--almost destroyed the parking mechanism while it was sitting in the university lot this morning, and then they hitched a bomb to the emergency brake system, and they also messed with the engine so I’d notice something was wrong and pull over.”

“Could have just been a bomber--”

“Yeah, but then there’s those bricks you told me about, and that experiment in Chem that went wrong yesterday, and that elevator that almost gave out with you in it last week--Jesse, any one of those could have--any one of those should have killed you. And all of them would have looked like accidents. Jesse, we need to tell someone.”

Jesse felt paralyzed. “I think your dad would have a fit if he found out I hang out with you.”

Wally seemed confused. “Why? If Barry knows you--”

She scrambled for something to say. “Look, I think I know the person who’s doing this, and I think I can talk to them. The police--”

“Joe’s cool with stuff--”

“Joe would tell Barry, and I’d end up under house arrest.”

“I could keep you company--”

“Joe and Iris try to protect you--”

“Hang on, what?”

There was a dead silence. She could feel Wally’s embarrassment. Not the right thing to say. “What do Joe and Iris protect me from, huh? And do they just go around telling everyone? Who else knows I need protecting?” He was hissing vehemently; several people turned to stare at them.

Wally got up from the bench and stared heavily down at her. “Wally, I didn’t mean it that way,” she pleaded. He began to walk away. 

“There should be a bus soon. See you tomorrow--if you’re not dead.”

“Wally, listen! I--I’m a meta! That’s what they’re protecting you from!” Jesse was hissing too, now.

His face crumpled like tissue paper. He took two steps away, then began to run, before slowing down at the corner, panting. Wally turned to look at her, but she looked away. She didn’t notice he’d come back until he sat down next to her, slightly further away than before.

“All right, tell me from the beginning.”

She told him everything relevant, leaving out Earth-2 and trying to portray Barry and the Flash as different people. It was harder than she’d expected. “...and your dad knows I’m a meta and I work with the Flash, and he wants you out of all that, and besides, X will just get out if they arrest her, but I’m worried the Flash would kill her, and I’ve been trying to stay out of the lab because I’m sick of it all, and--”

He nodded. “Okay, okay. No more word-vomit exposition dumps, Jesse. I get it. But we need to tell my dad something.”

“We can tell him the truth, but pretend it was just--”

“Random. OK. What about you? D’you wanna come?”

“No, I can’t. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Hey, let’s get you some crutches and I’ll walk you home. And don’t go see your friend X in person, OK? She’d probably kill you then and there.”

“I know.”

“All right. Hey, how about dinner? Friday, maybe? Or we could hit the club that night? There’s a great DJ.”

“I think if I go to the Club, it’ll blow up.”

“Nah, X doesn't hit big crowds. Or she hasn't so far. It’s always just been you and one or two others.”

“I guess I’ll risk it. Let me know if Joe grounds you over the car, though.”

“Sure. Anyway, what’s it like being a meta?”

She wasn’t supposed to be friends with Wally, but everyone deserved someone to try to understand them. _Nobody needs to know._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again!
> 
> Next time: Jesse gets a lot of visitors.
> 
> Are they really going with "alternate repressed personality" as the explanation/motivation for Killer Frost? That's...lazy? I don't even know what to say, really, so I guess I'll just reserve my judgement.


	31. Harry, Jesse

_**Harry** _

__Harrison Wells was on Jesse’s couch, concealed by shadow when she opened the door, limping in slowly-- _hang on, is that a boy?_ Yes, it was. Harrison Wells was speechless. There was something rather ridiculous about the fact that he still had to watch his daughter dating, even _after_ she was dead. _This Earth has it out for me._

The boy was standing next to her, steadying her as she struggled with a pair of comically oversized crutches. _He bought them for her, and they gave him crutches about his size--they probably only adjust upwards._ They both looked disheveled in a major way--their clothes were torn and singed, and Jesse’s skin was smudged with ash. Both of them were bruised and bleeding, but they seemed more interested in each other than their injuries. Jesse floundered towards the mantelpiece, where she could at least steady herself and stand for a while. About a foot away from her goal, she seemed to teeter, and the boy reached out to steady her, placing his hands gently around her waist. _Very smooth._ Jesse made a grab for the safety of the mantel and pulled herself up, panting slightly. When the boy was sure she wouldn’t fall, he leaned there himself, facing her. They began to laugh suddenly, uncontrollably.

“First time I’ve ever had a guy my age over!”

He chuckled, looking down. “You never been on play dates, then? I had a girl to my house in second grade, and I think we got married.”

Jesse laughed heartily, and pretended to withdraw along the mantelpiece. “I don’t think my guardian would be comfortable with me being alone with a married man!” Wells resisted the temptation to call her guardian so Allen could break this vomit-inducing scene up.

The boy shrugged. “I divorced her the next day.” More laughter. “Anyway, if you’re worried, Barry and I don’t talk at all. Joe keeps on dragging us together for family bonding time, and he keeps on flaking out on me.”

Jesse giggled. “You’ve got it lucky, Wall.” _What kind of name is Wall? And how does this kid know Allen?_ “Barry is way too overzealous with me. Although ever since Mercury hired me, he’s left me alone...anyway, he stopped me from going out much, because he doesn’t know I have powers, and he was worried people would target me because my dad created the metas. I’m surprised he loosened up enough to let me go work at Mercury. He’s made up for it by being pretty strict about making me socialize with out-of-town relatives.” _Out-of-town relatives? What?_ “Like, I have this one really grouchy uncle, who’s always comparing me to my cousin, who left home to get her masters and doctorate.” _She means me. Of course she means me._ “And Barry keeps on being all, If you have family your duty is to them, you never know when you won’t have them anymore, _yadda yadda **yadda**_.” 

Wall laughed and moved in closer. “I know, right? I mean, one day my mom was just like, _Wally, c’mere, hon, I wanna give you somethin’_ , and then she just handed me a slip of paper and said, _This is your father’s address. And you’ve got a sister, too_.” _His name’s Wally. Wall and Jess. Wallace and Jessica. They’ve made it to nicknames._ “And then all I can do is show up at Joe and Iris’s, where we all pretend like we know each other. If family doesn’t even try and make the investment, they don’t count, that’s what I say. Joe and Iris tried, Barry didn’t, so he’s not my family. Joe and Iris can make me hang out with him, but they can’t make him my family.” _What? That's a stupid rule!_

Jesse looked thoughtful. _Oh no, is she really going to do this? Just declare me no longer anything to do with her, just because some sweaty teenage boy with a crush said that’s what he’d do? He wished he could shout at her, ask for another chance._ “I’ll think about it,” Jesse said. _Don’t think! Just don’t do it!_

Wells hated Wally.

“So,” Wally began, as Wells vividly imagined punching the boy’s teeth out the way he would have on Earth-2, “how long has Barry had you? And how come nobody told me? Joe and Iris are all, family family family, and their entire lives revolve around Barry, so you’d think they’d at least rope you into dinner every week or so.”

“My mother died when I was three. Apparently, that’s when my dad died, too--got his body snatched by that homicidal speedster from the future I told you about--anyway, it’s complicated.” Wally whistled appreciatively. “But the guy I thought was my dad--he died last year in the singularity, like I told you, trying to make the Flash bring him back to his time. Obviously, this isn’t stuff to yell around--”

He interrupted her, leaning in so close it was almost painful for Wells. _He’s trying to find an opening in the conversation to kiss her. This boy is going to kiss Jesse--she’s not my Jesse--she’s the only one I’ve got--oh no, why can’t he just go away!_ “Hey, I’m discreet. Anybody who tells you otherwise is nuts.” She turned her face away from the boy, presenting him with a laughing-eyed profile. He had hold of one of her hands, cradling it in both his. “You know who else is nuts? Anybody who would leave you for the future.” Jesse looked up at him then, and Wells closed his eyes. _No no no no no. Not this. Not another factor in things._ When he opened them, they were standing close to each other, if slightly awkwardly. The boy tentatively draped an arm around Jesse. He guessed neither had been kissed before. What would Tess say if she could see this?

Tess would have leaned over the sofa and laughed at him. “That was you and me, once,” she would say, or, “Cut it out, Harry! She’s not your property!”, or perhaps, “Well, at least now she might not fall for one of her professors like I did,” and they would joke about how he was a Graduate Teaching Fellow, not a professor, and genetics, and whether this could last, and how eventually they’d have to actually meet him officially, and Jesse would pretend he was a “just-a-friend.”

Tess was dead. Jesse was dead. He shouldn’t even be here. _What was I thinking?_ Apologizing to Jesse Thawne wouldn’t bring his daughter back, and this girl had been fatherless for so long--he just felt lonely, and he’d thought she might too. Now, judging by this boy, she didn’t. 

He was still going to try. He wanted a daughter, any daughter, something to fill the hole Jesse left. _Oh, get a cat, Harry,_ Tess would say. 

“Anyway,” Jesse began, reaching for her crutches, “you wanted me to look at those schematics to try and improve the fuel efficiency?”

“Yeah,” said Wally, blushing hotly. “Sorry I got...carried away.” He looked down and away from her, fumbling. “You’re a good kisser.”

She laughed so hard he looked up at her, and the tension was broken. “In comparison to who? The girl in second grade?”

“Nobody, actually. It just felt like the right thing to say.”

“You’re a good kisser too, in comparison to nobody. But you’re a better friend, especially in comparison to Barry and the STAR Labs staff, some of whom aren’t half bad.” _Does everything Jesse says have to sound like a veiled dig at me?_

“I’ll start laying things out, but it might take a sec.”

Jesse shrugged. “No problem. I’ll get us a drink. You prefer water or lemonade?” 

“Water.”

Jesse nodded, grinned, and hobbled off into the kitchen, where Wells could hear her banging cups around.

Wally hunched down to get his papers out, then straightened up to inspect himself in the mirror, spitting on his sleeve and trying to clean his face off a bit. _What happened to them?_

All of a sudden, Wally froze, then turned and headed straight for Wells’ seat. _Oh no. Of course, he notices things the instant there’s not a girl in the room!_

“Jesse!” yelled Wally. “I think there’s a guy in your living room!”

The banging stopped. “What sort of guy? What’s he doing?”

“He’s just sitting. Um, he’s white, brown hair, sixty-five ish--”

Wells stared Wally down as malevolently as he could. “I’m fifty-one.”

“Um, he says he’s fifty-one,” Wally yelled into the kitchen before continuing in an undertone. “Who are you, man, and what are you doing in here?”

“Tell Jesse it’s Uncle Harry.”

He could see Wally’s mouth working like a goldfish’s, seemingly chewing thin air in astonishment. Jesse barely missed a beat. “Wally, can you remind Uncle Harry where the door is located? If he wants to talk to me, he can drop by later--say around seven, maybe on Friday.”

Wells made a dash for the kitchen, but Wally grabbed him by the arm. “You heard her. Leave.” Wells decided to salvage his dignity. He headed for the door instead of being dragged. _And I thought it was bad when Jesse kicked me out!_ Wells watched as his daughter’s prospective boyfriend slammed the door in his face. _My Jesse would never have done this!_

He knew that wasn’t true. 

* * *

**_ Jesse _ **

Jesse was getting a lot of visitors today. Almost immediately after Wally left, Caitlin knocked. “Hi! Can I come in?”

“Just a minute!” Jesse shoved the materials from her brainstorm session with Wally to one side and hobbled to the door. “Cait! What brings you here?”

Caitlin laughed. “You have any water? I walked here from Iris’ house to ask you something, and I’m kind of parched. I’ve been intending to drop by, but--one thing and another.”

The word “ _Jay_ ” hovered in the air between them, unspoken, yet always there. “Hey--I’m sorry about that.” She knew how much Caitlin hated sympathy, but someone had to say something about what had happened the last time they’d seen each other.

Caitlin nodded. “I’m sorry about what happened to your doppelgänger. I can’t even imagine--Listen, I have to ask you some stuff. Um, the guys are being jerks--they’ve convinced themselves--”

“Let me guess--they think you’re going to turn into Killer Frost? _Really_? If Barry thinks that, he’s in big trouble, because he’s going to start wearing wingtips, old man glasses and a bowtie. Really, Cait, that’s not even a remote possibility.”

Her friend managed a shadow of a grin. “I kind of figured--but Iris and I were thinking that we should, like, shock them out of it. By having me pretend to be Killer Frost. So I was wondering--could you tell me about what happened?”

It was a reasonable request. “Yeah--um, she shows up in the background of the video I sent to Harry, if you need a visual reference to work off of. She kind of hung onto her vowels--think if Captain Cold had a baby with an elocution textbook. And she used her lower vocal ranges a lot--she kind of thought she was like a femme fatale in a detective movie, but to me she kind of sounded like a mean cat. You know, that sort of growly purr thing they do, and you can’t tell if they’re mad at you, then they scratch you really hard. Really bad ice jokes. You thought Cold and Heatwave were bad? Boy, have you got another think coming. And she called everyone pet names. I think she thought it made her, like, sexy? I don’t know. Um, but she wasn’t all bad. She hated everyone but Deathstorm, and she hated Zoom worse than she hated everyone else. So she tried to kill him, and it got me a bit of time to get away.”

Caitlin seemed taken aback by this--from Cisco’s descriptions to Barry and Wells, Killer Frost must have sounded more horrible than she really was. “What happened to her?”

Jesse swallowed the lump in her throat. _Geez--she was a stupid supervillain! Don’t start crying!_ “He killed her. I thought he might take her prisoner, but Barry says the only person there was a guy in a mask, who was tapping on the walls. Some sort of code, but he didn’t have much time to figure it out.”

Caitlin got up. “Thanks a million, Jess. Listen--if you remember anything else, call me, and--Iris is gonna drop by my place tomorrow. You wanna come help coach?”

“Duh! Of course I would! It’s practically a mausoleum in here!”

A single eyebrow shot up Caitlin’s forehead. “Really? A mausoleum where some guy, I estimate about your age, left his coat draped on the chair? Don’t try and con me, I always see through it...”

Jesse threw a pillow at Caitlin's hastily retreating form.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time: The girls are goofy, and Cisco has an idea.


	32. Caitlin, Cisco

_**Caitlin** _

They’d decided, after finding Killer Frost’s cameo in the tape Jesse had made, not to try and use her outfit. For one thing, it was crazy complicated, and for another, the transformation was supposed to be in its beginning stages.

“This is supposed to be a recent thing, right? So you wouldn’t have gotten that far yet. Cisco’s been Vibe for a year, and he only has goggles. Besides, they’ll be too busy wondering where you figured out what she wore to pay as much attention to what you’re saying and doing,” Jesse had explained. She was perched on the back of Caitlin’s couch, snacking gleefully on a bag of caramel corn. Iris was on the couch with her legs tucked up beside her, reaching up every now and then to grab from the bag.

“Okay, Cait, let’s try. Um, I’ll be Cisco. So, the icepack’s gonna be in your purse.”

Jesse raised her hand like she was in school, squealing excitedly. “Oooh!--oooh!! I know, Cait! What if you react thionyl chloride with cobalt sulfate heptahydrate in something like one of those handwarmers? You know, little pouch inside big pouch, break the little pouch and the contents react? And you could optimize the amounts for the most energy absorption. That way you aren’t seen making suspicious trips to the freezer or something.”

Iris grinned. “Sounds good. Um, triassic chloride and cobalt sulfy hexawhatever. Let’s do...that. Because I totally know what that is. Anyway, for now we do an icepack. So, you find an excuse to touch him.” Giggles from the top of the couch. “What, Jess?”

“I was just thinking--most girls our age would be having conversations like this trying to get guys--it just sounded for a sec like one of those. You know, the sort that go like, okay, so you’re gonna try and drop something and pick it up in front of him, or find an excuse to touch him, or, like, try to act older than your age so he thinks you’re sophisticated--”

Iris guffawed. “Wow, I learned something I didn’t know before today. Eobard Thawne watched chick flicks.”

Jesse lobbed a kernel of popcorn at Iris as if it were a weapon. “He didn’t like it. I’d pick out movies based on Wikipedia. He HATED chick flicks.”

Caitlin chilled her hands on the icepack and brushed her hands against Iris’s. “Do you need any help with this, Cisco? This tech you’re working on? Or is there another appropriate opening in this conversation for me to brush your hands without looking like I’m hitting on you?”

Iris lowered her voice. “Um, no, totally, dude. I totally need help with, like, my sweet awesome tech. I totally get you hitting on me, because long hair is the new sexy, but--HOLY FREAKING OPTIMUS PRIME, CAITIE BEAR, YOUR HANDS ARE ICE COLD!”  
Jesse nearly fell off the couch laughing. “Caitie--caitie-- _caitie bear!_ ” she repeated mirthfully.

“I’m not Caitie Bear. My name’s Killer Frost.” Caitlin tried and failed to keep a poker face.

“Bravo! Bravo! Encore, encore!” yelled Jesse, clutching her sides as she broke down in hysteria.

“Nope, still not good enough, no laughing, Cait. And maybe a little _more_ mean sorority sister, _less_ evil stepmother.”

The next half hour was spent on Youtube, analyzing the voices of various evil women in movies. Finally they gave up and decided to imitate Captain Cold.

“No, Iris, you can’t be Barry. You were Cisco and Harry. I wanna be Barry.”

“Fine. But she’s probably gonna do it on Cisco.”

Jesse rolled her eyes. By this point, they were all on a bit of a sugar high. “Be prepared. I was a Daisy scout, you know. Well, sort of, until one of my friends tried to get a helping the elderly badge for offering to help my dad across the road. This was when he was probably forty. So he got pretty insulted. Then I scraped my knee on a hike the next day, and he decided to pull me out.”

Iris and Jesse switched spots, and Jesse began. “Um, hey, Cait, I kind of need help, really quick, with just this one thing. See, I’m thinking about this great way to increase my speed--I’m thinking that I should practice running around in circles. With a tail on, and try to grab the tail. Not, like, chasing my tail, but training practice. Very serious stuff, because I am never overenthusiastic like a puppy. Anyway--can you make me a tail? To chase?”

“Um, sure. How big do you want it?” Jesse stretched out her hands about a foot wide. Caitlin put her own hands on top. “Okay, so about, like, a foot?” _Beat_. “You got a material in mind?”

Iris clapped her hands. “Okay, cut! Jesse, you’re supposed to say something about how cold her hands are.”

Jesse burst out laughing. “Awww, but that was the genius bit! ‘Cause Barry can sometimes be, like, totally oblivious--”

Iris gave Jesse a Look. “Mm-hmmm?”

“Oh, cut it out, Iris. You mocked Harry and Cisco! Honestly, how likely do you think it is that Barry would notice the temperature of Caitlin’s hands if he was working on something?”

Iris relented. “Okay, fine, that kind of does sound like him. This one time, we were fighting, and I cold-shouldered him, and it seemed like he was really good at just _dealing_ and not getting mad I was ignoring him. Then I went to apologize, he was all confused, because he hadn’t _realized_ I was cold-shouldering him!”  
“That is SO Barry!" guffawed Caitlin. "You know, this one day, Cisco and I were out getting lab supplies, and he was working on trying to do some wind-surfing tunnel thing where he like runs and gets big air--anyway, he got so caught up in it, when we came back, he’d been talking to us the whole time we were gone, through his comm. Like Sherlock Holmes when Watson’s not in the flat.”

“I honestly think that if the world were to end today, Barry might not notice. He would probably get to whatever afterlife there is, late. And argue with some higher power about how he came as soon as he noticed he was supposed to be dead. Joe used to tease him about it.”

“Hey, Cait, I think your hands are a little cold. Um, I don’t really know, though, and you probably can’t tell what I’m saying, because I think my tongue runs at superspeed--”

“Jesse, are you wearing an inhibitor bracelet?” Iris queried sweetly.

“Um, yeah, why?”

Iris tackled her. Nobody accomplished anything else productive for the next hour.

* * *

**_ Cisco _ **

Cisco found Caitlin just as she was about to leave the lab the next day. “Hey,” he said, panting from jogging after her. “Can we talk?”

Caitlin seemed brittle, like she wanted to snap, but had forgotten how. “Fine.” She opened the passenger door of her car. “Get in. I promise I won’t kidnap you.” She smiled cheerily, like it was all a big joke.

Cisco swallowed. This was going to be tricky. He had really screwed up here. “I just wanted to say--if you did get powers, and lose control of them, I’d lose control of mine too so we could be evil together. Like Bonnie and Clyde, only, well, metahumans, not together-together, and hopefully not bullet-riddled?”

Caitlin’s smile was wan. “Thanks a bunch, but I’d prefer it if you’d take me down.”

There was a taut silence, stretched like taffy.

He tried again. “Hey, I’m sorry. I was just so worried about--him.”

“Reverb isn’t a bad word.”

“Neither is Jay, but you don’t say it. Have you even taken that helmet off your desk?” When she didn’t respond, he moved on. “Earth-2 scarred us all in different ways. Barry’s a wreck--even Digg noticed when he visited this week. Says Barry’s doing an Oliver Queen impersonation. But here’s the thing: we’re not the only people in the world. Felicity was paralyzed over in STAR City. Kendra and Carter are somewhere on a timeship, Oliver’s son just escaped a kidnapping, he and Felicity broke up, Thea just got out of a coma, Oliver had to cut off her dad’s hand and Malcolm’s sworn eternal vengeance or whatever those League jerks do when they’re mad, Lisa’s brother is missing and none of the Rogues can find him or Heatwave--you know, Caitlin, did you ever read those really weird books about going to Mars, from the guy who did Tarzan?” Caitlin shook her head and waited for him to continue. “The main character, he’s this kind of dumb burly soldier dude, but he says something that got me thinking. Whenever something’s the absolute worst, he goes, right to the face of whoever’s beating him up or whatever, or to whoever’s with him that thinks it’s hopeless, “We still live.” And I was thinking, we should think like that. Because, you know, looking at what could be going on right now--the Reverse-Flash could have won, Zoom could have conquered us already--”

“Barry can’t beat Zoom. It’s a losing battle.” She wasn’t looking at him, just saying the words automatically.

“But we haven’t lost it yet. You, me, Barry, Wells, Jesse, Iris, Joe--we’re in one piece. Zoom hasn’t won yet, so we could still beat him. And it could be worse--we could all hate each other right now, like Team Arrow. We are _alive_ , and--” Cisco trailed off as he realized what he’d been saying. “Hey, I miss him, too.”

Caitlin snorted. “Which one?”

“Both of them. But I was talking about Jay. We didn’t always get along, but the lab feels so...empty. I wish he was here, I wish Ronnie was here, I wish Eddie was here, I wish I could have met Jesse Wells--I even miss Thawne some days, crazy as that seems.”

She smiled, the gesture seeming almost painful. “I miss them too, Cisco.”

He leaned forward impulsively. “Cait, let’s you and me and Barry and Iris hit the club tonight.”

Caitlin shook her head. “No, I can’t.”

Cisco wasn't about to let her off that easily. “To send a message to Zoom. To show him that we’re not afraid of him, or his master plans. He may have the upper hand for now, but as long as we live, we don’t care about him. So many people have died, but we still live. Us, the Fab Four, the original gang. Well, more like the original three and Iris, but she’s practically a founding member. Anyway, how crazy is it that we’ve all survived, what, upwards of fifty meta attacks? We are still breathing, and so I want to live, really live. I mean, not like, do anything dangerous sort of live, duh, but let my hair down, relax, be goofy for a change. Pretend like the fate of the world is somebody else’s job. Get drunk enough to sing karaoke. I don’t know, just something besides mope around the lab! Because if Zoom’s going to kill us, being here isn’t any safer than anywhere else, so I’d rather die somewhere else. Cait, don’t you just miss having fun! Remember how we used to do movie night for the inmates and all they wanted to watch was Mean Girls? When was the last time we _laughed_ like that?”

She nodded. “I’ll be there. You know, I really needed to hear that, Cisco, so, um, thanks.” There was a slight pause. “Cisco--somebody who makes inspirational speeches based off of Edgar Rice Burroughs isn’t on the brink of the Dark Side. You know, you are...funny, kind, smart, caring, and selfless--you’re just as much of a hero as Barry, and you have _us_ to help you through this. Reverb didn’t have anyone. I promise, I won’t _let_ you go evil. If there’s anything at all I can do--if you need to talk, or you want me to distract you--anything, I am here for you, Cisco. This team can’t afford to lose you, and neither can I.” He was touched. When was the last time someone had said something like that to him? As if sensing how she’d moved him, Caitlin seemed to compose herself. A smile danced somewhere in her eyebrows. “Now...get out, okay, so I can go get ready! I can’t exactly go in lab gear!” Caitlin seemed a googol happier as she playfully shooed him out. _I wish I could talk my powers away, even for a second, this easily._ **_Okay, calm down, Cisco. You still live, and you’re still not Vader._** Oh great. His self-pep-talk basically boiled down to _I’m still a whiny teenage Padawan with seriously disturbing issues and really bad dialogue._

Maybe it was time to ditch the Vader analogy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, current events suck, but at least there's still some fluff to be had, right?
> 
> The book series Cisco mentions is the Barsoom series by Edgar Rice Burroughs. The female characters are really boring sometimes, but it's definitely good pulpy fun.
> 
> We still live. Remember that, guys. We still live, no matter what happened last Tuesday (and I don't mean to offend Trump supporters or anything...I'm just nervous about what his presidency could mean for our country. Sorry to get political!!!)
> 
> The chemistry stuff is not really me. I just googled endothermic reactions and picked one that sounded cool.
> 
> Next time: Harry and Jesse figure things out, and Caitlin & co. go clubbing!!


	33. Harry, Caitlin

_**Harry** _

Feeling slightly stupid--more scolded child than righteous parent--Wells knocked on Jesse’s door promptly at seven on Friday. She opened it, looking like she was trying hard to maintain some sort of neutrality. He was indignant, so angry at her-- _oh no, has she been crying?_ After seeing that, he couldn't be angry at her for kicking him out. (Wally, though? He was still very angry at Wally.) “Hey, Jess.”

She sniffed. “Hi. What do you want?”

He took a deep breath and tried not to think about his daughter and the gaping hole in his chest, the way he felt frayed at the edges, the fact that he could see Tess more often than not now, that sometimes he forgot he’d lost his family. “I have a lot of apologies for you I kept intending to make, and they’ve kind of stacked up over time...”

Jesse opened the door a crack wider, standing aside to let him in. They sat down facing each other. His daughter looked out of her eyes, frail and alone, a child still in so many ways, trapped in the life of an adult. “I thought you were coming to make me feel guilty or something.” He tried to say something, but couldn’t find words. She continued, watching his face carefully, like she was trying to say what she was thinking without hurting him too much. “You know, I would--if there was something I could do--trade something, anything--my powers, my life, anything--I would save her. And I promise I will help you get revenge on Zoom, no matter what it takes.”

Wells swallowed. He’d found words, even if they weren't the words he had wanted. “It wasn’t your fault, Jess. She tackled you, you were already wounded. Even when I found out--I never blamed you for a second.”

Jesse seemed to visibly readjust herself. _She didn’t know that, and she isn’t sure if I mean it._ “I could have tried harder to stop her.”

He leaned forward, looking down at his hands, then changing his mind and meeting her eyes. “Nobody ever could stop her. Listen, Jesse--I haven’t told anyone this here, but--my daughter and I didn’t have a good relationship all the time. We did for the most part, but I was--demanding, and cruel, and she was immature, sometimes. And once she learned that I created the metas--she stormed out, and that was--the day he took her. And I keep thinking back on it, wondering what I could have changed or said to keep her safe. Because I don’t get a second chance to save her.”

Jesse met his eyes with understanding. “My dad was tricky, too.” She pursed her lips for a second, her eyes glazed, remembering. “He would just get mad, and sometimes I wouldn’t know why. For years, I thought it was because he missed my mom, and I wasn’t her. That wasn’t true, though, because he never knew my mom, even when he killed her. I still don’t understand him, even now that I know who he was. In a way, though, we're lucky. You should hear Cisco talk about his parents. She loved you. He loved me. And there isn’t a day that goes by where I don’t miss him.” Jesse seemed to deliberate for a second before continuing. “Do you remember when I had that big breakdown while you were over? The one where I smashed my room to bits?” He nodded. 

“Jesse, if you don’t want to talk about it--”

She shook her head. “I’ve been talking to Tina about it. I live with her now, mostly, but I’m in town scouting talent for Mercury, so I opened this place back up. Anyway--there’s a U2 song called “Stuck in a Moment you Can’t Get Out Of”? That’s me, right there.” He had no idea what she meant. 

“U2?”

“They’re kind of like the Beatles.”

He was still perplexed. “The what?”

She laughed, suddenly, almost falling out of her chair. “You don’t have--the Beatles on--your Earth!” 

“Why is that funny?” 

“They’re this ex-boy band--anyway, they’re practically a religion here. But, back to the point. Um, sometimes I just sort of--flash back, I guess? I know, somewhere, I’m here in the present, but I see it all, like it’s happening in my head. It’s like nightmares in the day--I keep on reliving things. Maybe it’s because I miss him, or maybe I just need to get closure, or I might be subconsciously trying to reevaluate him in the light of everything I know. I just had another one a few minutes ago, and they're not going away. They actually started getting worse after Earth-2. Anyway--I guess I’m saying that nobody’s okay, and we all want to be.”

There was silence, but no tension.“Jesse, why didn’t you join the lab? Allen would have taken you, and they would have been friends if you wanted.”

Jesse settled more comfortably on the couch. “Yeah, well, they felt bad for me. And they were so close to each other--it’s like watching a fireplace from outside a window. There was no way I could crack in and be part of that. So Cait and I are friends--we were before, a bit, and she was lonely, so it made everything easier.”

Silence again. Wells knew what he wanted to say, but not how to say it. He drew what he wished was a deep breath, but it felt shallow, his words coming out shakily. “Jesse, I’ve been thinking. I know you’re not my daughter, and I’m not your dad, but I--I want you in my life. You know, I’m lonely, Jesse, and I think there’s just a chance you are too, and you are one of the kindest, smartest, bravest people I know. And I may not stay on this Earth once Zoom’s defeated, but--I want to get to know you.”

There was a long silence. “How? Do you want to be my dad? Because it’s been almost a year, so it’s a bit hard to see myself as a daughter.”

He paused. “How about...your uncle?”

She laughed. “Done. But only if you don’t get jealous of Tina and Wally. They’re good friends too.”

Wells grinned. “Yes, Wally, the good friend who you are wearing that dress with makeup and heels for.”

“Hey! Stop!”

“I didn’t know you could walk in heels, much less a heel and a boot with crutches. My daughter couldn’t.” 

She turned to the mirror on the wall and began to experiment with her hair, twisting various portions and examining the effect critically. “Well, neither could I until this afternoon. And they're kitten heels, not stilettos, so stop fussing. Do I look good?”

He rolled his eyes. “Yes, Jesse, you look good. Your good friend Wally will definitely be impressed with what a phenomenal friend you are to wear that dress for him.”

“Cut it out!” she giggled.

He got up. “I’ll see you later, okay? If you need to talk, just call the lab. Nobody else cares about the phones there anymore, and they moved them down to my room. Kids these days and their cell phones...”

She walked him out. “Bye, Harry.”

“Bye, Jesse Quick. Am I allowed to call you that?” Jesse nodded. Before he could turn away, she hugged him spontaneously. After a moment, he awkwardly hugged her back. “Now let go,” he added after a moment. “I think I see your good friend’s car.” He walked away as she hastily began to smooth her hair.

* * *

**_ Caitlin _ **

Caitlin and Cisco hadn’t had much trouble getting Barry and Iris to the club. Everybody needed a break: there’d been so much going on, and everyone was feeling the strain.

But when she walked in, it was hard not to think of Ronnie. He’d enjoyed going out, not often, but sometimes. They’d gone here on their first “official” date. She’d reflexively covered her ears the instant they stepped inside. He’d noticed almost immediately, and she’d smiled bravely and taken her hands off, trying not to wince. Ronnie had laughed. “Alright, Cait. Take a sec and get used to it. You know, I’m beginning to think you’re lying about being from Coast. I think you’re really from Iowa.” She’d blushed.

“Not quite. Um, I was born on the outskirts of Coast, then my family moved to Kansas. My mom worked at a military research lab there--they put them pretty far away from humanity so if anything goes wrong they get in less trouble. Then, when I was seven, we moved to Ivytown, which is pretty close to Star--well, it was Starling back then--because there were really good schools there, and also a great lab. When I got into college, I went to live with my dad’s family in Coast--but again, suburbs. So I’m not great at the whole “big city” thing. But I’m trying to be better.”

He leaned over. “Hey. Nobody’s judging you. They’re all too busy having fun.” Ronnie had always been patient with her. In return, she’d grounded him. He’d always had a quick temper--just like he was the person who could make her laugh, she was the person who could calm him down. They’d learned it that night, when one of Ronnie’s old army friends had bumped into him. Literally bumped--Dave, as he’d introduced himself, was very drunk. Ronnie had been embarrassed, but he’d pretended to be glad to see Dave.

“So, deserter! How’s science going for you? You know, I’m still impressed you managed to swing a discharge! Bet some of those desk majors missed you, eh? Oh, is this the new desk major, huh? Well, she’s got legs on her, hasn’t she? Heh! I’m Dave, by the way, sugar. This is a nice-looking broad you’ve got here, Hothead.” Caitlin could feel Ronnie tensing up, raring for a fight, his teeth gritted. She put a hand on his back. 

“It’s nice to meet you, Dave. Any friend of Ronnie’s is a friend of mine. I’m Dr. Caitlin Snow. Ronnie and I work together on the STAR Labs accelerator.” Ronnie was clearly restless. He didn’t want anything to do with Dave. 

“You still quick on the draw, Hothead? You used to be a good hitter--what’s happened? Domestic life make you into a girl? Learned to cook, Hothead?” Caitlin held Ronnie’s hand, unclenching the fingers in his fist one by one. For the briefest second, Ronnie seemed about to shake her off and leap at Dave. Caitlin glanced at him, trying to warn him. _He’s trying to start a fight, don’t let him get to you._ Dave turned confidingly to Caitlin. “You know, you better watch this one, sugar. Half the women I meet know him. I think some of the men do too! Ha! Just joking, his mom wouldn’t let him get in any big trouble. Though, remember Smitty, Hothead?”

Ronnie made an effort to be polite. “Yes, I do remember Lieutenant-Major Smith. Listen, Dave, this is really fun, but Cait and I have an early morning tomorrow--”

“Oh c’mon, Hothead, share and share alike--that’s what we promised. Lemme have a go at your bird.” 

Caitlin stepped on Ronnie’s toe and shook her head slightly. “Sorry, Dave, but I think you’ve got me mixed up with Mike. Cait picks who she dances with, and she doesn’t want to dance with you. We’ll catch up when you’re sober.” Ronnie drew Caitlin away and out of the club. “C’mon, Cait. Let’s get out of here so we don’t have to scream to hear each other. I wish I’d hit him to start off.” They’d escaped into the street, breathing in the fresh air. Caitlin basked in the silence. Ronnie had taken her hand as they walked to the car. “Hey, thanks. I didn’t really want to get kicked out for fighting. And don’t believe Dave about me.” 

She nodded. “Yeah, I didn’t believe him. They have those jerks in Coast, too. So, you’re ex-Army?”  
“Just basic training. It wasn’t really my thing, and my parents wanted it more than I did. So I faked a severe bee-sting allergy and they let me out--they want FIT soldiers, not SCRAWNY WEAKLINGS!” Here Ronnie did an officer impersonation, raising his voice to a bark. Caitlin mimed a salute. “Anyway, they did call me Hothead. Anything they said, I’d leap to it. I nearly killed Dave once: this girl, Lieutenant-Major Smith, he'd knocked her down, and I came around the corner just as it happened. I didn't wait to see what happened next, I just hit him. He got all surly after, and said he didn't know Smitty was my girl. I didn't see much point in explaining that she wasn't. Anyway, there were a lot of really fantastic people in training with me. Just all-around great guys. And then there were sorts like Dave, who just joined up because they thought it would give 'em a free pass to do whatever the hell they wanted. I guess Dave hasn't changed since.”

“So why didn’t you hit Dave when you saw him? He was asking for it.”

Ronnie shrugged. “I guess I didn’t want to scare you. My mom always said-- _if anybody sees you flare up like that, Ronnie, they’ll drop you like a hot potato._ ” 

Caitlin had smiled and relaxed her head onto his shoulder. He’d put his arm around her. “My dad was a hothead, too. I’m not going to ditch you. And it wasn’t that bad.”

“Thanks to you. If it was anyone else but you there, I’d have snapped.”

“You’re welcome. Anyway, it was fun. More fun than I’d expected.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cisco feels uncomfortable, and Jesse is in a very dangerous situation. As always, thanks so much for reading!


	34. Cisco, Jesse

_**Cisco** _

Cisco was pleased with how this party was going. After he’d practically woken Cait up from daydreaming about Ronnie--(it might not have been a daydream about Ronnie, but real talk, it was _totally_ a daydream about Ronnie)--she’d danced with him a bit. Barry and Iris had found a table to themselves and were chatting adorably. They both had contented smiles on their faces. As Cisco watched, Barry said something that made Iris blush and look down. Then they both burst out laughing, before settling back into contentment. _Old married couple, those two._

One fail-proof thing Cisco had learned about Caitlin was that she always loosened up on the dance floor. He’d given in to the groove, riding waves of sound. She was laughing so hard she almost choked, then-- _Holy double-O seven, is that Jesse Thawne? She’s smokin’!_ Who was the guy with her? Cisco felt like he was remotely familiar... _nope, nothing._

Barry seemed to recognize him, though, as did Iris. Immediately, they got up, knocking their chairs over as they moved to intercept the two. Cisco flashed Caitlin an “Oh no!” glance. Jesse seemed nervous, but the boy with her advanced rather truculently. He glared at Barry, but it was misplaced. Barry was straining with might and main to keep Iris from attacking-- _oh, that’s Wally West!_ Now it all made sense. Cisco dragged Caitlin off the dance floor.

Then something horrible happened. There was a burst of lightning, a gust of air, and the lights went black. Cisco clutched Caitlin for dear life.

“My purse? Where’s my purse?” Caitlin sounded frantic. Cisco clapped his hands to his pocket--yep, his wallet was gone. Around the room, other people were discovering that they had been pick-pocketed. Cisco dragged Caitlin in what he hoped was the general direction of Barry. “Cisco, that wasn’t him. He was standing there when the lightning went by!” 

Cisco frantically tried to think. “Um, maybe he traveled back from the future, and he needs money to buy something.”

Caitlin scoffed, hissing, “If Barry really needed something, he’d just steal it. Not steal a hundred wallets.” The lights flickered on. Cisco and Caitlin ran towards Barry, who was still standing with Iris, Wally, and--Jesse Thawne was gone. Disappeared completely. Wally was gesticulating frantically to Barry.

“I told you, she didn’t run away! Jesse couldn’t go anywhere without her crutches, O Genius CSI! She disappeared before the lights went out, which you would _know_ if you hadn’t been distracted by the lightning! Now Jesse’s in trouble!”

Iris interposed herself. “Wally, do you know something about this? Because if you do, telling Barry and me everything right now could potentially save her life--”

Wally interrupted. “You don’t get to boss me around. I decide who I talk to! And I don’t trust him to save anyone. When that humongous shark ripped the roof off, he hid under his bed! Jesse told me--stuff--about her, and she made me promise not to tell anyone, especially him. I’m not going to give up what she told me, because she is my _friend_ and I will stick with her!”

Iris drew herself up to her full height. Wally was still taller. _I feel your pain, sister._ “Wally West, listen to me right now--”

Wally erupted. “You are not my mom! And I will tell everything I know to someone competent, but certainly not to Jesse’s cowardly, dumb guardian, who ignores her half the time and over-interferes in her life the rest. What are a CSI and a journalist going to do, anyway? Write analyses? Run articles? Well, I’ve got a headline--close analysis reveals she was kidnapped, and it wasn’t the Flash, but for some dumb reason, he hasn’t shown up to help, even though he knows her--”

Barry cut in. “You know what, I’m gonna leave. I’ve got an early morning at the station tomorrow. I’ll call in some favors, see if I can find her. Not sleeping won’t help, though.”

Wally’s sneer was in danger of becoming too big for his face. “Some concern for your ward, huh? You think that’s what Joe would say about you? You know, you don’t deserve him!”

Iris looked scandalized. “Wally!”

Barry turned around viciously. “Neither do you. You don’t deserve anyone.”

There was a shocked silence in their little cluster. The other club goers were trickling out. Someone had called the police, and the sirens were coming closer. Iris put a hand on Wally’s shoulder. “I know you didn't mean it, and neither did he.” She paused, waiting for some sort of confirmation from Wally. Nothing came. Iris squeezed his shoulder and walked away. “I’m gonna call the Flash. He knows me from my blog.” Wally nodded unhappily. Iris turned around. “Oh, and we’re not done. You and I are going to talk about how insensitive and dangerous everything you did tonight was.” Iris seemed to pause, trying to think of a way to get angry with Wally without outing Barry as the Flash. “Dating the daughter of Barry’s mom’s killer! He’s working to get through the trauma, and you reminded him of it all again. Not to mention--”

Wally was now actively impatient. “Just call the Flash. You can lecture me later, _Mom_.”

Iris walked away, dialing on her phone. Barry’s voice spoke in Cisco’s ear. “Hey, guys, can you hear me? I think those implantable earpieces worked!” Caitlin rolled her eyes surreptitiously. _Wally’s still here; we can’t talk freely._ There was silence on the other end as Barry waited for a reply before continuing. “Oh, right, you guys aren’t alone. Um, if you can hear me, scratch your ear. I should get the feedback.” Cisco scratched obediently. After a second, Caitlin followed suit, under the guise of smoothing her hair. “Cool! Anyway, guys, I’m gonna go question Wally, and um, you can listen in.” Lightning zoomed through the room, snatching Wally up. Cisco waited for the feed to clear.

“Wally West.” Good--Barry had thought to disguise his voice. Otherwise, things could have gotten awkward.

“You’re the Flash.” Wally sounded dumbfounded.

“I hear you wanted to talk to me in private. We’re on top of a mountain. Nobody’s going to hear this. Hurry up, though--Jesse Wells is in trouble, and if we don’t figure out who took her soon, then she could die.”

Wally sounded nervous. “Um, she didn’t give a name, but there have been six murder attempts on her in the past two weeks that I know of. The most recent one was two days ago; all of them were disguised as accidents to varying degrees. She said there’s someone trying to kill her--she called them X, said it was a woman, a scientist. This X was at Mercury with Jesse, working on a speed serum--that’s how I know this was X tonight. Tina McGee shut down the project over concern it was plagiarized from a STAR Labs scientist, a Dr. Frost or some such.” Cisco glanced at Caitlin. Barry didn’t know about V-9. This was going to be _bad_. “Jesse wouldn’t lie to cover for X, so X is trying to kill her to shut her up. Jesse worked on the serum with X, so she knows everything.”

Caitlin said into the feed, “Eliza Harmon. It’s got to be. I know who it is, Barry, make him hurry.”

“Where might X have taken Jesse?”

“Depends on how fast she wants to kill her. But Jesse’s a meta, so she’ll hold her off a bit.”

“Alright, thanks, Wally. You’ve helped a lot. I’ll have her call you when she’s safe.”

“If you tell any of this to anyone--I won’t forgive you.”

Barry sounded uncomfortable. “Point taken.”

A second later, Barry zoomed through the club, dropping a dazed Wally next to Iris and picking up Caitlin. They conferred briefly in the corner of the room before Barry raced away. Wally and Iris were having a very loud fight, meanwhile. Cisco felt very awkward. _Should somebody call Harry, or is it better for him not to worry?_

“--you know, when someone is in trouble, and you know it, you tell someone!”

“She trusted me not to tell! Why would Jesse trust the cops, after they failed to catch her dad? And she didn't want X to get hurt!”

Iris was not interested in listening to Wally. She barreled right over him, barely pausing to register his points. “So it’s your job to convince her to do the right thing. And as for X--well, it was X or Jesse, and the two of you picked X because you were riding so high on teenage rebellion that you wanted to defy the grownups by getting yourselves killed. Well, congrats, you really _showed us!_ Wally, that car bomb--and don’t pretend that wasn’t X--you lied to Joe! He was so worried! You should have told the truth, Wally!”

“Well, maybe I would have, if you ever told me the truth! You and Joe work with the Flash, and you were trying to keep me out of it! Do you think I enjoyed having Jesse tell me you two were protecting me?”

“Wally, that car bomb incident should have taught you how dangerous--”

They were in each other’s faces now, yelling. “Yeah, the stuff you do is so dangerous that a twenty-something reporter and a middle-aged cop are the only people capable of--”

“Your mom made Joe promise to take care of you--”

“Yeah, well, I can take care of myself! You don’t own me.”

Cisco couldn’t stand this anymore. There was a pounding in his ears, and the shouting was making him suffocate. _Don’t snap._ He went over to Caitlin, who was in a corner, leaning against the wall with her knees tucked up to her chest. “Was he mad?” A worker at the club came up to remind them that they needed to leave soon. “Our friend was kidnapped by that lightning streak,” he snapped, “so can we just wait here until the Flash saves her?” The worker nodded. “Now leave us alone, or we’ll tell the police that not only did you let your guests be robbed, you also were _very_ unwilling to be accommodating.” Without waiting for a reply-- _boy, I am in a bad mood: are Wally and Iris rubbing off on me?_ \--Cisco turned back to Caitlin. “Hey. Barry. Was he mad?”

Caitlin grimaced expressively. “Yeah. I’m not sure if he’s mad because I accidentally created one of the most dangerous substances ever, or mad I didn't give him any. He said we’d talk later.”

There was a pause as Cisco settled down next to his friend. “Jesse’s a trooper. She’ll pull through.”

“If she doesn’t, it’s on me.”

“Hey--don’t be like Oliver Insane Guilt-Trip Queen.” Another pause. Cisco ventured brightly,

“Felicity knows that not everything is her fault. Be smart--be like Felicity.” Yet another pause. “Or like me. I always blame someone else.”

Caitlin chuckled weakly. “That’s a meme I’d like to see.”

* * *

**_ Jesse _ **

There was a ringing in Jesse’s ears when she woke up. _Lack of oxygen from how fast she was carrying me blacked me out._ She wasn’t tied up, which was good, but by the breeze on her face and the cement under her back, she was probably on top of a building. _How do you stage an accident on a rooftop?  
_

_She’s going to make me jump. Or push me. Even I don’t have the durability to survive more than a--? I guess don’t know how much of a drop I can survive, because I never tried surviving one before._ Jesse shivered. The air was frigid up here, and she hadn’t worn a coat to the club.

“I know you’re awake, Jesse,” whispered Eliza from behind her. Jesse pulled herself to a sitting position.

“Eliza?” Her friend was huddled on the edge of the rooftop, her eyes downcast. “Hey, c’mere. What’s going on?”

As long as Jesse lived, she would never forget the desperate, trapped look in Eliza’s eyes. “Jess--you’ve got to just say you won’t tell--just write an affa-whatsit or something with the truth--that this was all McGee’s fault. Then she’ll let us go. Please, Jess, you’ve got to save me, or she’ll kill both of us.”

Jesse scrambled over to her friend. “Eliza, who? I thought it was you, doing this.”

“You’ve got to promise, Jess, or she’ll keep us here forever, or she’ll even kill us! Jesse--I don’t want to die! My sister said I needed to have fun or she wouldn’t want anything to do with me, even though I paid for everything, but she said I was boring and she had new friends--and I needed money--please, Jess, it was only fun, and now this has happened--she’s got me now!” Jesse tried to comfort Eliza, but she was just sobbing endlessly, wave after wave.

“Eliza--please, I have super-strength, I can get us out of here, but you’ve got to tell me who’s doing this!” More sobbing. “Please, Eliza, pull yourself together!” Slowly, Eliza raised a trembling finger and pointed to the darkness behind her. Patting Eliza on the arm, Jesse turned, using the side of the roof to pull herself over and into the shadows. There was nothing. “Hello?” she ventured. It echoed back at her from the darkness.

There was a slight shuffling behind her. Jesse turned and squinted-- _no_. Eliza balanced on tiptoes at the very edge of the roof, her arms flung out wide, her head pulled back as if on a marionette string, her mouth open in a soundless cry of pain. “Eliza!” Jesse made a desperate grab for her friend, but fell short, her injured foot landing under her. Eliza pitched backwards, over the rooftop. Jesse covered her ears. _I don’t want to hear. Please don't let me hear._

Barry appeared on the rooftop behind her. “Jesse. What’s going on?”

There was a whir of lightning, and Jesse felt something cold on the back of her neck. A gun.

“I’m in charge, here, not her. Now leave me alone. Jesse and I are having some fun.”

“Eliza?” Jesse whispered it. _She’s got to be in there somewhere._

“Dead, but you probably knew that. I’m Trajectory. Now, go away, Flash. This isn’t one you can win.”

“Really? Let’s see.”

“Barry, don’t hurt her! She’s sick!” Barry nodded. Jesse tried to make out the fight, but gave up. It was easier when it was two different colors of lightning, like Barry and Zoom. She shut her eyes. Suddenly, Barry screamed, and Jesse’s hair was yanked back painfully as Trajectory towed her down the stairwell. She tried to focus on taking deep breaths so she didn’t black out again.

They were in the lab they had shared. Eliza locked the door. “So, you’ve got super-strength? You’re a meta? That means you lied to me.” She continued in a painful sing-song. “Friends don’t lie to friends, Jess. Don’t worry, though, there’s a way to make it all up to me--”

“Eliza, please, you’re sick. V-9 has dangerous side effects, but there is a cure. Come back to STAR Labs--”

Eliza’s laugh was grating.. “No, that’s not what I meant. I want you--well, your power--in a bottle. I want to not be invisible. I want to matter. And your power’s going to do that, because I’m not going to waste it like you did. Power is meant for one thing, Jess. Control. Now, I can get samples of your tissue even if your brains are blown out, so just sit quietly--or I’ll _shoot_!”

“Leave her alone!” Barry had phased through the locked doorway and crouched, ready to sprint. “Your speed drug’s going to wear off eventually, Eliza.”

Eliza smiled and reached for a drawer, pulling a syringe from it. Jesse winced and turned away. The lightning began to whirl around her, in a never-ending golden tornado.

There was a crackle of blue, then another. _Zoom. He’s going to kill us all._ She raced for the desk, grabbing a heavy centrifuge. _If I see him, I’ll try and smash it on him._

The lightning stopped. Barry was beside Jesse. “It’s okay, Jesse. It’s over.”

Jesse didn’t understand. “Where’s Zoom?”

Barry was perplexed. “What do you mean, where’s Zoom?”

"The lightning turned blue! Wasn't Zoom here?”

Barry shook his head. “No. That was Eliza--it turned blue just before she died. C’mon, I’ll take you back to the club. Everyone’s pretty worried.”

Jesse nodded, trying not to look at the shredded fragments on the ground, trying not to think-- _oh my god, that was Eliza!_ She felt sick, nauseous. _How is Barry okay right now? He just saw someone dissolve in front of him!_ But he was worried, staring into the distance.

She tapped him on the shoulder. “Okay, I’m ready. Let’s go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time: Harry and Jesse chat, as Jesse prepares to cut loose, and Cisco is afraid of what Zoom's identity means to Caitlin.


	35. Harry, Jesse, Cisco

_**Harry** _

Harrison Wells almost didn’t pick up. _She’s probably prank-calling me. Or it’s the boy. Or she’s drunk. Or she dialed by mistake._ But he reached for the phone anyway. _I told her to call if she needed something._

“Harry?”

“Hey, Jess.” She sounded shaky. “What’s going on? Is something wrong? Where are you?”

“I’m outside the club--”

 _I knew that boy was trouble._ “If he upset you, Jesse, he’s not going to get away with it--”  
“Wally didn’t do anything. But I was kidnapped--it’s a really long story--basically someone was making an illegal speed drug at work...I don’t want to talk about it. It was just...awful.”

“Are you hurt, Jesse? Is someone there with you?” _Why is she calling me_? He glanced up at the clock. It was well past midnight. If he could hotwire Ramon’s car, there wouldn’t be enough people around to arrest him for murder--he could go get her with minimal danger. _Do I risk it?_

“I’m safe. Barry helped me out. But, um, he’s not, like, listening in--Listen, Harry, I have to leave.”

 _No. That’s not what she means._ “I’ll pick you up.”

“Listen, I have to tell you what I mean, what I’m thinking--Harry, could you just listen and not argue until I’m done? Please? I need help.”

“Of course. Whatever you need.” _I can’t lose her, too!_ Something in him forgot that she had only been his family for a day. She was all he had left of Jesse, but she was so much more--a brave, determined, kind woman who had laid her life on the line for someone she didn’t even know. Brilliant, dedicated, struggling through so much that could have broken someone else. She reminded him in some ways of the toys he had bought for his daughter when Jesse was a baby. Tess had preferred style over substance, selecting a collection of whimsically fleecy stuffed animals. After they had witnessed the disembowelment of a llama and the decapitation of a penguin, he’d rescued the remaining menagerie members and gone to the store. He’d come back with some toys meant for dogs. Jesse Thawne was, in a strange way, just like those toys: brightly colored, interlocked with a dizzying complexity, and guaranteed to be indestructible. He couldn’t say goodbye.

“Thanks.” A pause. He could hear his heart--steady, rock-solid, barely past resting, but so loud, louder than he’d known a heart could be. It mingled with the ticking of the clock in a strange syncopation of two tempos. “I need to leave Central. I can’t sit and stare at the place where I lived with him. In the first days after he died, I didn’t want to change anything--the whole house was this weird shrine. I was scared he’d come back. I couldn’t even open the door to his room. Then I learned more, and I wanted to destroy everything. I can’t get closure when everywhere I go is someplace I went with him. And I--I want to be normal--go somewhere where nobody knows what happened to my dad, where I can wear a suppressor bracelet and not feel like someone’s going to find out I have powers. I learned tonight--I can’t be part of both worlds--this metahuman vigilante war and normal life. And I think--I think that Jesse Wells, scientist, has more to offer the world than Jesse Thawne, metahuman. I might cure Alzheimer’s or Parkinson's, I could develop new vaccines, early-testing procedures--do anything I want, and just possibly, maybe, save people, maybe one, maybe millions! But if I stay here, I can’t not get involved. Even though I want to stay out of it. Um, I want to keep in touch with you--” She trailed off. He knew that she knew they couldn’t really. His name was synonymous with murder in Central, so he could hardly send her letters as himself, and sending correspondence through anyone else would merely raise questions in that person’s life. It had to be a clean break. _They say those hurt less._ This was the feeling he’d had in his throat when they met--that sandy lump that wouldn’t go down no matter how many times he swallowed, that slight catch in his breath, that sinking elevator-feeling in the base of his stomach. This was how it would end, as well--it was rather fitting. _What is there left to say?_

He forced a smile. “Good for you, Jess. You know, you are going to be fantastic. I’m sure of it. Whatever you do is going to be great. Make me proud, alright?”

She was crying, too. “I will.”

“Good luck, Jesse Quick, scientist. We’ll keep in touch.”

Of course it had ended with a lie.  
****

* * *

**_ Jesse _ **

Tina had been sympathetic, Harry surprisingly understanding. Barry had barely noticed her telling him, but she’d gotten his permission. There were only two people left to tell. She squared her shoulders, picking up the crutches that Barry had left next to her before she walked in the door. There was a flurry of people around her: Cisco, Caitlin, Iris, touching her, hugging her, saying things about whether she was okay, physically, emotionally, how scared she must have been. Caitlin dragged Jesse into a corner to give her a checkup. Jesse told Caitlin that she was leaving and why she was doing it. Caitlin hugged her and told her good luck and that she’d miss their shopping trips. And through it all, Wally hung slightly back, on the other side of the room, never looking away from her. 

When Caitlin let her go, Jesse approached him. He strode to meet her. “Jesse? What happened to X?” 

_Eliza_. For a second, she’d forgotten someone died tonight. “Dead.” She tried to sound brave. Wally blinked and swallowed. _He forgot someone could die tonight. He doesn’t understand how dangerous it is._

“Hey, Jess--can we talk?” When she nodded, he steered her out and down the sidewalk.

“Um, Iris and I got in a big fight about me keeping secrets from her. And, um--I just--”

 _Here goes._ “Wally, if you’re looking for a way to end things, that’s fine. Um, I have to leave for a bit.”

That startled Wally. He stopped walking, turning so that he could see her face clearly, head-on in the moonlight. “Why? I mean, X is gone; you don’t have to worry. I just moved here, and you’re one of the reasons I’m glad I did. Do you need to move--to fix whatever needs fixing? I mean, your life’s so much more complicated than mine, but--I don’t know, the only way I’ve ever been able to fix something is sitting down with the person and laying all my cards on the table so we can hash it out.”

She looked down for a second. “This isn’t that kind of issue. Um, the person who the issue is with--is dead. And X--she wanted to experiment on me, maybe even cut me up to get my powers condensed into a formula. I just realized--if I stay here, I can’t stay out, and I don’t want to be a meta anymore, part of the Flash’s project. And I guess I’ve been thinking that there’s always going to be an X. Someone who knows, and wants to use my powers, or steal them, or tell the world about them. Wally, X isn’t the first. The government tried, too. As long as I stay in Central, I can’t ever be normal. And--don’t you get that feeling like everything you do, you’re standing still, because nothing ever gets fixed? You know, like everything’s gone to shreds and you just wish there was a clean slate?”

Wally’s eyes were sincere, concerned. “Yeah. I know that one. Jesse--it doesn’t work. Where you are--doesn’t change who you are. You know, Jess, I thought I never wanted to go back home. But now I’m here I miss it. I thought Joe might be a fresh start, but it was more of the same--me getting into trouble because I don’t look before I leap, everyone in my life trying to riddle out what’s wrong with me why I race, why I get so mad, why I can’t get along with anybody, and they all say, Joe and Iris and everyone who knows me, _Oh, it’s because he misses his mom._ And the ironic thing is, back home, everyone who knew me thought if I acted out, it was because I didn’t have a dad. There are things wrong with me, Jesse. And moving didn’t fix them. Just be sure that’s not what you’re doing. Anyway, though, only you know what you have to do, so--do it. I would hate it if someone started giving me advice when I’d already made up my mind. I don’t really understand what you’re saying, but, um, do what you need to, keep in touch, and maybe...let me know when you’d like to hang out.” He finished, a little out of breath, clearly embarrassed to have said so much.

“Hey, don’t say goodbye just yet! Listen, let’s go hang out. I’m not going until tomorrow. How about we drive around a little, find something to do? Or just talk? But maybe not stand up, because my good leg’s getting tired.”

He laughed. “Alright. Tonight, then. Tomorrow’s a whole other story. I can take that.” Wally helped her into the car. _Relax. Tonight is tonight. Your last night as Jesse Thawne. Tomorrow will watch out for itself._ She was going to miss everyone.

* * *

**_ Cisco _ **

_Of course._ It was so late at night--no, so early in the morning--that Cisco couldn’t focus his eyes to see the clock. He’d had at least three too many things to drink. His limbs ached from dancing. And he was exhausted from worrying about Jesse Thawne. Of course Barry picked now to have a team meeting. 

Nobody was in good shape. Caitlin was drooping all over a swivel chair. Joe and Iris were rubbing their eyes, while trying to hide that Joe had pajamas under his coat. Harry was glumly leaning against a table, staring at the ground. Barry was wide awake, perched on the edge of a table, like a--like a--whatever those fluttery things were. _Wow, I am tired._ “Why are we here?” Cisco groaned. Barry didn’t seem to notice the loud chorus of yawns. 

“When I fought Eliza Harmon, my strategy was to chase her until she ran out of speed drug. But just as she seemed to be slowing down, she made it to her desk and injected herself with some more. It was a pretty big syringe, filled all the way up. She injected herself with the whole thing. Then she kept on running. Several seconds later, she collapsed into dust, like her entire cellular structure had degenerated beyond repair. Cait--is that one of the drug’s side effects? Is that why you didn’t tell me?”

Caitlin fended off a yawn with difficulty. “Barry, can’t this wait until tomorrow? Yes, that’s a side effect. Jay told me about it--it’s pretty hard to predict or track. And I don’t know much about how it affects people who haven’t had the Speed Force in their bodies--”

Barry interrupted her. “So the cellular degeneration affects speedsters, definitely? How do you know?”

Caitlin chewed her lip for a moment. Cisco cut in. _Better tell him so she doesn’t have to say it._ “Barry--Jay was dying. He was sick--his cells were degenerating. He lost all his speed taking V-9. And then it started killing him.”

Barry seemed taken aback. “Caitlin, is that true?” She nodded her assent, either gravely or sleepily. It was hard for Cisco to tell.

Iris asked, “Barry, what’s the point? I’ve got to get to work--we’ve got a new editor, and I want to be on my A-game.”

Barry looked solemn. “Jesse Thawne said something when the fight got done. She asked where Zoom went--shortly before Eliza died, her lightning turned blue.”

Joe squinted. “You’re saying Eliza Harmon was Zoom? That doesn’t make sense. She could only have gotten the idea for the drug after Caitlin asked for help. And that was after Zoom showed up.”

Harry spoke, scuffing the floor with his shoe, still not looking up. “Only a speedster could successfully metabolize enough V-9 for the sort of sustained fighting Zoom’s been doing. Eliza’s out. Anyway, anybody who took that much V-9 would see effects--”

Cisco began to talk over him. “We can’t jump to conclusions, guys.” Beside him, he could feel Caitlin becoming increasingly panicked. Her knuckles were gripping the armrests, now, white and red. She was flushing slightly. 

“Jay’s dead,” she said, struggling for composure. “He’s not coming back, and he’s not Zoom.”

Cisco shot a glance at Barry, trying to get him to stop, to let them sleep. There had to be a better way to do this. Everybody was at the end of their fuse here--sleep-deprived, anxious, upset--this was going to blow up any minute. And if Jay was Zoom, this wasn’t a good way to break it to Cait. But Barry wasn’t noticing Cisco’s warning. _I wish I was telepathic._

“We’ve seen speedsters be in two places at once,” Barry ventured slowly. Caitlin winced, then seemed to steel herself. 

“There’s only one way to know.” She reached for Jay’s helmet on her desk, holding it gently to herself for a moment before offering it to Cisco.

He stared at it dumbly for a moment. Then he strapped his goggles on and reached for the helmet. As he took it, he tried to meet Cait’s eyes with a reassuring smile. But she wasn’t looking at him; she was staring at the helmet, regret and nostalgia and anger and fear mingling in her eyes. Or at least, that’s what he thought he saw. For all he knew, she could be planning to drive a stake through Jay’s heart. 

Cisco only had time for a quick breath before the vibe started.

_**The man in the black suit leaned over a table, fiddling with something. Cisco could hear the man in the mask tapping insistently in the background. “SHUT UP!” roared the man in the suit, turning his head half around. Cisco squinted.** Please let it not be--please no, please no..._

**_It was Jay Garrick. As Cisco watched, he cocked his head to one side, then looked directly at Cisco._** _It’s like he sees me...oh no! He sees me-- He can’t possibly...Does he see me?_ Cisco dropped the helmet with a clatter and fell back into the lab.

“It’s him,” he whispered, shakily, watching his words twist into Caitlin like knives. Cisco saw the exact moment when her face went as blank as a hypnotism victim in a movie, and knew there was nothing he could do. This was how Caitlin dealt with things--shut herself down. _She should start putting up a sign that says, “Closed for Heart Repair”._

This wasn’t the time for jokes. He wished Jay Garrick had never set foot in this lab. He wished Joe had shot him right off the bat. He wished Ronnie wasn’t dead. Anything to stop this. There has to be a way to fix everything. But he knew there wasn’t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Caitlin. Part of the original reason I wrote this fic is that I was upset with how the show framed the Jay reveal around Barry's reaction, when the only person who had ever shared significant screen time with him was Caitlin. Seriously, that whole screaming on top of the waterfall thing was totally out of nowhere. Anyway, I will hop off my soapbox now. Feel free to tell me what you think about any of this in the comments! I really enjoy discussing the show and this fic with you guys!
> 
> Next time: Caitlin is reeling, Cisco is desperately trying to be supportive, and Hunter is preparing to make a move.


	36. Caitlin, Cisco, Hunter

_**Caitlin** _

Caitlin could sense the eyes of the entire team scrutinizing her. There was a beat of perfect, unimaginable silence, the moment before the buzz of a starting gong. Then everyone began to talk at once.

 _Words_. She had been bewitched by them. Jay Garrick had made her into his pawn. _How could I be so blind?_ Caitlin cleared her head, but there was only so much she could do. Underneath the surface of her thoughts was a boiling, churning tide that threatened to tear her to bits. She closed her eyes to try and stop seeing his warm, charming, smiling face, laughing at her. Her head was buzzing with an oncoming migraine. They had to beat Jay. He couldn’t get away with this.

She opened her eyes. Iris, Joe and Cisco were hovered around a computer. Barry had gone off, probably to deal with his anger separately. Wells was looking at her like she was a snake whose poison capacity he wasn’t quite sure of.

Voices came, faintly. Caitlin realized that if she were okay, she would be over with the others at the computer. She walked over, unsteadily, finding a place behind Cisco. “Okay, so what? Just because the simulation says he couldn’t vibrate into two places and kill one of them doesn’t mean anything. We don’t even begin to know what he can do.”

“Iris, it doesn’t make logical sense. Look, let’s get some other options. What about his Earth-1 doppelgänger?”

“Already on it. Looks like there is...no Jay Garrick on this Earth. Maybe he killed his doppelgänger already.” _No...I know this...what was the name he gave me. He was adopted by the...come on, think!_

“Try the name Hunter Zolomon.”

Across the room, Wells straightened up. “Match,” said Iris.

“Hunter Zolomon, Snow? You’re sure?”

“He said he was adopted on this Earth by the Zolomon family.”

Wells laughed. “Anything else you’d like to share, Snow? Like how you’re a spy for him?”

Cisco got up out of his seat. “Cut it out, Harry! There is no way Caitlin’s a spy for Zoom. We’ve known her longer than we’ve known him--or you, incidentally. So I’m not sure you should be pointing fingers, Harry.”

Wells advanced menacingly on Caitlin. “My daughter is dead, and it is your fault, because you told Zoom the whole plan! So you are going to tell everyone in this room everything! Now--did he, at any point ask you to report on the team’s actions to him?”

She couldn’t look at Cisco as she nodded. _I didn’t know any better!_ “When and under what circumstances did he ask you that, and what was your response?”

Being interrogated was agonizing, made all the more painful by the knowledge that she was the enemy. She had betrayed everyone. This was how they had talked to Thawne in the pipeline. _Don’t cry._ Not crying was like trying not to think of a pink elephant. The more she thought about not crying, the more she felt like she was going to cry.

“Don’t blubber, Snow. Nobody here feels sorry for you. You agreed to spy only on me, initially. At what point in his seduction of you did you start giving him information about the team?”

No, she wasn’t even Eobard Thawne in this. Eobard Thawne was smart--he was the team’s equal. She was just the dumb woman who got herself seduced. It was such an ugly word--it bathed everything it touched in a harsh glow. Caitlin had been lonely, and he had used that. Thinking back now, she wondered how it had worked, how the romance-novel cliches he had tossed at her hadn’t made her vomit. He had fed them to her like scraps to a pig. She had made it so easy--talking about Ronnie all the time, practically throwing herself at him. And then that little bit of adventure--spying on her own friends, manipulating them. Get her heart racing a bit, make her feel excited, like they were on a team together. What sort of disgust must he have for her? He was probably laughing at her right now...or else he couldn’t even remember her name. He only cared about Barry. _Why do I care what Jay Garrick thinks of me?_ Because it was humiliating, learning what he’d done. She was searching blindly for a scrap of dignity.

“When did you learn that he was dying, and why didn’t you reveal this information to the whole team?”

 _He trained me to do what he wanted, not to tell._ There had been little things first, and he’d gotten her used to the idea of keeping his secrets, following his orders. Then the things got bigger and bigger, but all he had to do to keep her in line was to say a few words, and she’d come straight to heel. It was like throwing a bone to a dog and making it run to get it, then drop it at your feet, throwing it farther and farther. She had been so well-trained, so eager to please.

“While we were on Earth-2, he would have had to go back and forth a lot. At what times do you remember him being gone?”

 _If I’d actually cared about Ronnie, I would have never let this happen. Now people are dead because of me._ No, Jay could have asked any member of the team, and they would have told him. Everyone had trusted him. _I went into the pipeline and told him I believed his story._ How naïve was it humanly possible to be?

“Harry--you’re done, okay? You got right up to the time he died. So stop picking on Cait and clue us in. So his Earth-1 doppelgänger is named Hunter Zolomon. So what?”

 _I felt so alone without him--I missed him, wanted him back._ Yes--because she felt paralyzed without someone to pull her strings. Because he’d gotten her addicted to following orders. _No--I was addicted already. We all are._ But she couldn’t blame what had happened on helping Barry. This was all on her. Up until she’d learned Jay was Zoom, she would have done anything to bring him back. She couldn’t handle being her own overlord. _I might as well go back to my mom’s lab, since I crave being manipulated and controlled!_ No. She had to stay and fix this.

“Tess--bring up all files related to the Hunter Zolomon cases.”

And there was Jay on a mugshot, next to words that read, “Twenty-three counts of first-degree murder.” Caitlin felt dazed, buffeted by each new piece of information. Barry had come back, sometime during her interrogation, and was now staring with interest at the picture.

“We need to discuss our next moves.” Barry was addressing Wells.

“I’ll get you the results from the studies I ran on him. We can see how much V-9 he can take safely, that sort of thing.” She knew it was pathetic, but she needed to know they could trust her again. Nobody seemed to be worried about letting her help, though. That was good, even though she wasn’t sure she deserved it.

She left, going to her office, locking the door, trying to mute the words “Twenty-three counts of first-degree murder” as they reverberated through her head. A thought struck her. She tried to make it go away. _You can’t run forever, Caitlin._

It was better to know now and be prepared. Probably he’d been a movie-theater shooter or some such. “Tess--show me files on Hunter Zolomon’s murder victims. On my computer, please. Start with photos.” They came up on her screen, blooming across it. Caitlin’s breath fell away as she looked at twenty-three tall, late-twenties, brunette, brown-eyed women. All walks of life, all backgrounds--all dead.

 _He was going to kill me._ That’s what he did--lured people to him and killed them.

All of a sudden, STAR Labs didn’t feel safe anymore. Nowhere was safe. She saved the transcripts from the trial to her computer, clutched the files on Jay’s illness as tightly as she could, and went back into the Cortex.

* * *

**_ Cisco _ **

Cisco found Caitlin in her office after the meeting. He tapped on the door lightly, then opened it just a crack. She was sitting at her computer, reading something intently. “Hey Cait,” he said, trying to sound--sensitive? Considerate? His voice rang too loud in the empty room. She didn’t respond. _How do I help her?_ Just that day, she’d told him that she believed in him, and it had meant so much. Why couldn’t he find words to help fix this? His literal, actual _job_ was fixing things. “Listen, everybody’s gone home now. And I think Wells hotwired my car so he could go crash at Jesse’s, so would you mind giving me a lift?”

“Yeah, sure.” But she didn’t budge. Cisco moved forward to squint at her computer. It was full of-- _is that the script for a play?_ Caitlin would ask for help if she needed it. He knew, from recent experience, that he had to let her grieve privately. She wouldn’t want to talk to him.

Caitlin swiveled around. “Cisco, can we talk? I just want you to know, I am so sorry. You were right all along. I can’t believe I fell for it. I just hope you know that--I would never want to lie to you. I can’t believe I did--anyway, I just hope you understand that I know how much I screwed up, and I feel really guilty.”

 _What? I mean, great that she wants to talk, but guilty?_ “Okay, slow down, Cait. You seem to forget--we all fell for it--”

“Not you.”

Cisco pulled up a chair and sat down, so their eyes were level. “Cait--I thought he was boring. But if somebody had told me he was homicidal--I would have laughed in their face. He was good at it, and yeah, we fell for it hook, line, and sinker, but giving in to guilt is what he wants. That paralyzes us so he can strike whenever he chooses--it’s like those snakes that hypnotize mice so they can swallow them. We have to put all that aside so we can fight back.”

“We still live?” she asked bitterly.

“Yeah, we _do_. Look around you, Cait. Just because he was a homicidal speedster-y douchebag doesn’t mean you’re alone now--” He trailed off. She had opened her mouth to say something. There was a bit of a pause, and then she shut it. “Nobody blames you. And before you say that you don’t want to be pitied or looked down on--everyone knows that if he’d gone at them, specifically targeted them, they’d have done pretty badly out of it. It could just as easily have been Iris--”

“No, it couldn’t have.” Caitlin said this with the flat certainty of absolute fact.

“What do you mean?”

Caitlin straightened her spine, took a deep breath, and pulled her laptop off the desk. She clicked around for a second, then pushed it over at Cisco. “What do you see?”

He picked it up, feeling like it was a ticking bomb. There were twenty-three photos on the screen, all of the same--no, different women. Tall, brunette, brown-eyed, late-twenties to early-thirties. Cisco didn’t know what to say. “Who are they?” he asked, dreading the answer.

She laughed wearily. “They’re the bodies, Cisco. The corpses. Hunter Zolomon’s twenty-three Earth-2 murder victims. It’s pretty interesting to read about. They were all lonely women--this one, Kayla French, was being abused by her husband; Emily Brandt, up at the top, was mourning her mother and brother; Lucia Sharp on the far right had run away from her family--it goes on and on. It all went the same. Somewhere, they met him, generally through friends. They liked him, felt like he understood them. He helped them out, getting over their grief, getting away from people hurting them, getting independent. Then, he’d start breaking them away from their friends and family. Witnesses reported the women becoming more distant, starting about a month after they met him. Sound familiar yet? The prosecution got poetic--they said it was like a lion running down a gazelle herd, getting the slow one out, cutting it off, cornering it. Anyway, one day, they’d disappear, and so would he. There’d be a frantic search, turning up nothing. And then, anywhere from two weeks to three months later, the body would be found, freshly killed--he wasn’t particular about precisely how--and there would be no trace of the mysterious boyfriend. Eventually, they started tracing the pattern. He got cleverer. Started messing with his appearance between places, staying further and further off the radar. Switched from doing up to five at once to focusing in on one. They caught him two years ago. He pleaded innocent by reason of insanity. They found him guilty at the trial and locked him up.”

Cisco sat back. “Why’d he do it?

Caitlin pulled another photo up on the screen. Yet another brown-eyed brunette. “This is Hunter Zolomon’s mother. His father, James Zolomon, murdered her in front of him. According to his defense lawyer, he thought he was really in love with each individual girl. Said he wanted to protect her, or something like that. Then, after they’d “run away together,” he’d feel like she’d betrayed him, failed him in some way. Body generally turned up soon after.”

Cisco waited to see if she would volunteer more. He tried to offer up sympathy with his eyes. “Cait, it wasn’t your fault. We are going to take him down. Do you think it’s safe for you to stay at your place?”

She gave him a lopsided grin. “Well, if he wanted to kidnap me from there, then he could have already. And if he wants to get at me, he can always just go to the lab, even if I move.”

Cisco bit his lip. “Cait--don’t beat yourself up, don’t lose hope, and--tell the others.”

Caitlin shook her head. “Barry will freak, Joe will put Iris in protective custody, and Wells won’t care. Don’t tell. I want to be in on taking him down.”

Cisco knew how that felt.

* * *

**_ Hunter _ **

Hunter had to act fast. That had been Cisco; he was sure of it. Somehow, they had found him out. He was tired of this little cat-and-mouse game with Barry. He missed Caitlin. And he was sick of waiting for the right moment. He wanted the long game to be over, he wanted to reap his rewards. And he knew that he was running out of time. It was an effort, now, to pretend to Black Siren that there was nothing the matter with him. He needed the Flash’s speed.

How would he get it? If Cisco had seen him, then the game was up. Everyone knew who he was. Hunter allowed himself a momentary pang of regret that he hadn’t been there with Caitlin when she heard. She deserved someone to be there for her when her world was turned upside down. He wanted to be her anchor to reality, and he had failed her. Still, he would make it up to her, teach her how to love him again.

But he needed Barry’s speed. Caitlin could no longer be trusted to do what he needed: besides, even she would have balked at that request. Cisco had never quite trusted him. The West girl and her father wouldn’t have a clue how to go about stealing speed force. He had no way to blackmail Wells. That left only one option: Barry Allen himself. How could Hunter make Barry willingly surrender his speed? What were Barry Allen’s principal weaknesses?

 _Loyalty, naïveté, and a sense of honor._ The Flash would never let someone he cared about get hurt.

Wells would, though. It would be only too easy for Wells or one of the Wests to argue that whoever Hunter took was fully aware of the dangers surrounding Barry...it had to be someone unaware, completely oblivious. Besides, in his weakened state, Hunter didn’t think he felt like overpowering someone trained.

Who did Barry Allen care about most in the world? Either one of the Wests, or his father. The father lived too far out of the way. Hunter couldn’t risk taking that much V-9. The Wests, though…

He remembered Christmas at the West house, how he had kissed Caitlin for the first time...Hunter forced his mind back from that pleasing tangent. Iris and Joe West had been visited that night.

 _“I’m Wally. I’m Francine’s son.”_ Francine...that was the name of Joe West’s dead wife. Wally must be Joe’s son. Hunter guessed that with Barry’s tendency to keep secrets, Wally West was still very much in the dark.

 _Wally West._ Hunter raced through the breach, landing on a hunch at Central City College. Wally had looked roughly college-age. Hunter changed behind a tree into his civilian clothes and approached what seemed to be a group of grad students. “Hey, boys, I’m looking for Wally West. His sister asked me to tutor him. You know where I could find him?”

One of the boys shrugged. “Moved in with his dad last week. He should be there, unless he’s out racing.”

“Thanks.”

Now he just had to remember where the West house was. What had Caitlin said the address was? He couldn’t remember, but that was the benefit of being a speedster. He made a thorough search of the neighborhood. There it was. One car in the driveway, not Joe’s. _Wally West._ He phased through the door and crept up the stairway. Wally put up little resistance. Hunter left a fairly clear, concise message. _YOUR SPEED FOR WALLY._ Even Barry Allen couldn’t misunderstand that.

Everything was going to work out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time: Caitlin prepares to face Hunter, and Jesse writes emails.  
> I'm really nervous to see how they handle the Killer Frost thing. So far, not so good.


	37. Caitlin, Jesse (ft. Barry Allen, for once)

**_ Caitlin _ **

Caitlin was still poring over old records about J--Hun-- _Zoom_ , when Cisco came in. “You did it?” she asked wearily. She wasn’t sure which answer she dreaded more.

He shook his head, sitting down. “I couldn’t manage it. Which is too bad, you know, ‘cause sometime I’d like to open up a breach and meet that hot blonde alien Barry was talking about.” 

She could tell the joke was Cisco’s half-hearted effort to pretend everything was fine. “Reverb?”

“Yeah.” Cisco hadn’t wanted to use his powers ever since Reverb had tortured him. Caitlin understood. Knowing how Eiling had twisted science to hurt Ronnie, she had felt uncomfortable even running tests on her fiancé. Ronnie had had a hard time reminding her that she would never do what Eiling had done, because she wasn’t like him. But seeing yourself do something so heinous, while also being on the receiving end? She couldn’t imagine that.

“Well, when you do get it open, everything’s ready downstairs.” He nodded.

“Cait, you should stop looking at those. It’s not giving us any new information.”

How could she explain to him what she was doing? “Cisco--I feel like--if I don’t keep reading about everything he did--he’ll get me again. Like he’ll just walk in and--I don’t know, snap his fingers--and I’ll forget everything.”

Cisco seemed to be making a Herculean effort to do--something with his face? She watched him, waiting for it to be over so he’d respond to her-- _is he going to have a heart attack?_ Nope--he was just trying not to laugh at her, she realized, as he let out an immoderately loud snort.

“Cait--really? That’s what you’re worried about?”

“I don’t see why it’s so funny,” she said coldly. _How can he not see how much this scares me?_

As if on cue, Cisco sat up and scrutinized her. “Wow. You really are worried about that. Listen, Cait, I didn’t mean to make you feel like it was dumb to be worried about that. Here’s the thing, though-- _I_ know that’s not going to happen.”

“How?”

He grinned. “Remember when you and Ronnie had that really big fight? You know, the one where you heard him tell his mom that you didn’t have much of a family, but he felt like you practically belonged to him?”

She wasn’t sure why he wanted to dredge that one up. It had been the first fight the two of them had ever had, and it had been ugly.

“Remember how he apologized for like _five weeks_ after? You know, he and Hartley and I held secret brainstorming sessions to think of tactics he could try to get you back. If he couldn’t fix that--you think Zoom can fix _this_? Nobody holds a grudge as well as you, Cait. Nobody’s as stubborn as you. Zoom can’t make you do anything. Ever. You shouldn’t worry about that.”

He got up to leave. She caught his arm--she’d figured out what to tell him, how to help him. Caitlin was ready to face Zoom, and she wanted that breach opened. “Hey. _You still live_. Reverb doesn’t. He can’t hurt you, and he can’t kill you, and he can’t make you someone you’re not. You’re just as stubborn as he is.” Cisco grinned and left.

Barry came in several minutes later. Caitlin had taken Cisco’s hint and stopped reading the files. Instead, she was reading information on the tachyon enhancer, to see if she could channel the technology into a V-10 serum.

“Hi, Cait. You free?” He’d perched himself on the examining table, swinging his legs absentmindedly off the end, resting his elbows on his knees and his chin in his hands. 

“What did you sprain?” It was a running joke between them: Barry always overtrained. Most of the time she spent treating him was spent evaluating various torn muscles, tendons, and ligaments. It would be just like him to hurt his Achilles just as they were preparing to take down Zoom.

He grinned. “Nothing, I promise! Seriously!”

“Barry, don’t lie to me so that I’ll say you’re okay to fight...”

“That was only once! And I promised I’d never do it again.”

She relented. “Alright, I give up: what did you want to see me for?”

Barry swallowed. “Listen, Caitie--by the end of the day, we’ll probably have done it. There’s a good chance I’ll have beaten--him. Zoom, I mean. And, I was thinking that we need to think about what comes next. Should we put him in the pipeline? Kill him? Take away his speed and lock him up? Try to reform him? Find an uninhabited Earth and speed-cannon him there? Give him up to the Earth-2 justice system? And I was thinking that--you, Jesse, and Wells, he hurt you guys most of all. So maybe, you should get a big say. In what we do next with him.”

Caitlin bit her lip. She imagined walking through the pipeline, every day, bringing Jay food, trying not to look at him, trying not to let his voice get to her. Or the team, trying to find a spot to bury his body, in the dead of night. Forcing him to run his speed into a siphon, washing her hands of him while knowing that he could come and hurt her the instant he got out of Iron Heights. Jay with a tracker bracelet to prevent him from leaving the lab, acting like the man she’d cared about, while she played a part, pretended she trusted him, always secretly wondering if she could ever see him without seeing that silver-black mask. Caitlin shuddered as she imagined him leaning over her shoulder to see her screen while she tried not to flinch. Sending Jay to another Earth and pretending that everything was over and fixed.

 _Can’t there be a better option?_ “Let me think, okay? It’s nice of you to ask, but I won’t know how I feel until--until I see him.”

* * *

**_ Jesse _ **

Jesse had decided on Opal City. She’d drawn all her money from the bank and secured a series of forged documents that listed her as twenty-three with her Masters finished. There were openings for medical internships in the local hospital that came with scholarships to the Doctoral program. She got a small apartment within walking distance of the hospital, which she’d arranged to share with another girl. It was a little difficult to hide her experimentation scars--the apartment was small after all--but so far, she’d been well able to keep to herself. When she had everything set to start work on Monday, she dashed off a quick email to Wally. Sending him and her other friends status updates had been one of her biggest pastimes on the journey.

> Recipient: speedingwest@gmail.com
> 
> Subject: Remember me still?
> 
> Hey W--
> 
> Have all arranged down here--although don’t let your dad know I’m using fake ID. Roommate and apartment decent, everything else so-so. Haven’t started internship yet--begin Monday.
> 
> How is all on your end? Has Barry noticed I’m gone yet? :-P Hope you and Iris made it up successfully. Here’s my number here if you want to catch up, or we could video-chat. (xxx-xxx-xxxx) Will try not to get anybody in new surroundings to want/need me dead, but can’t promise. JK of course I’ll stay safe, though same goes for you. 
> 
> Missing you already,
> 
> J.

It felt good to send that. It made her feel less alone in these new surroundings, like she had ties, roots stretching down deep. She reminded herself that this lonely feeling was what she had wanted, why she had moved.

> Recipient: tmcgee@mercurylabs.org
> 
> Subject: Arrived and situated!!!!!
> 
> Hi Tina--
> 
> Well, I’m here! The bus ride was uneventful and pretty boring. Thank you so much for sending cookies; it was very thoughtful (and also _LIFESAVING_!) I got registered for my classes yesterday--it’s really weird to be back at school as the new girl in town. Luckily, everybody’s biggest focus seems to be on the schoolwork, not on finding out about me or getting to know me. I’m sharing an off-campus apartment with another girl (as a roommate, she’s passable, but not nearly as good as you.) 
> 
> I’m pretty eager for all the gossip about what people have been getting up to. Has Vanessa managed to get that sale? The contractor’s insane if he doesn’t want her technology! (Seriously, who turns down size-changing drones?!?) Tell everyone hi from me!
> 
> Yours always,
> 
> Jesse Wells (I’m going by that for now, since Thawne doesn't technically exist, and I’m also tired of saying his name. Apparently, nobody outside of Central knows of or cares about Harrison Wells--this one guy was like, “ ‘Zat a race car driver?” I told him it wasn’t. He said something to the effect that the name seemed to bring to mind accelerators... _HA_!)
> 
> P.S. On a soberer note, I hope the police trouble is bearable. If Eliza’s sister has any questions, please tell her to contact me. She’s probably pretty confused by it all.
> 
> P.P.S. Do people go to start-of-semester dances? And if so, what does one wear?
> 
> P.P.P.S. My leg is healing nicely, before you ask. Will start putting weight on soon.

She hit the send button and started thinking about other people to write to. Cait, Barry, and Harry. No, she couldn’t write to Harry. The police probably monitored all Thawne’s old accounts. Jesse pulled up a new window and began to draft an email to Cait. Maybe this time, her friend would write back.

> Recipient: snow.bioengineering@starlabs.org 
> 
> Subject: Hi from Jesse
> 
> Hey Cait--
> 
> It’s been complete radio silence from the lab! I’m kind of dying for new news--give me a call sometime? My new job/school seem great so far--although Central is definitely a much better city than Opal! ;-) If Harry asks, tell him I’m in one piece. 
> 
> My roommate needs me, so I have to send this quick--I’ll give further details in a later installment. 
> 
> Jesse
> 
> P.S. Hope all is okay--it’s not like you to not write back to an email, and I’ve sent you three so far--be forewarned, I am not above hounding Cisco to make you write back! :-D 

Jesse sent the message and went down to join her roommate for the ride to the cafeteria.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time: Harry is apprehensive, Caitlin has a heart-to-heart with Barry, and Hunter thinks he can make everything better.
> 
> Happy beginning of the holiday season to everyone, and thanks for reading!


	38. Harry, Caitlin, Hunter

_**Harry** _

__Of course Allen failed. Wells was feeling an urge to smash something, Ramon looked downtrodden, and Snow seemed like she was alright, which was Snow-language for “I am dying inside,” according to Ramon.

Allen couldn’t be allowed to go through with this latest scheme, though. Giving up his speed force to Zoom to save Wally West? It was ludicrous. If they merely waited, Zoom would die all on his own. And if Zoom hurt the kid, he’d have no leverage left.

Joe West hadn’t seen that side of it. Wells had come to his house to try and convince him to stop Allen--needless to say, the suggestion hadn’t gone over well.

“You’re telling me I should stop my son from doing something he _wants_ to do--”

“Allen doesn't _want_ to give up his speed.”

“He prefers it to every other option! And you’re telling me that my daughter and I should accept that my other son is going to definitely be tortured and possibly be killed. This after you nearly got Barry killed to save your daughter. Barry’s speed or Wally’s life? It’s not your decision, Wells. Barry and Iris and I have come to terms with it.”

“But the city--”

“You’d better leave before Iris hears you.”

So he had left. Back at the lab, Ramon was glumly setting up his vibe equipment. Snow and Barry were talking softly in the antechamber. He’d gone to his station to work on modifying the speed siphon.

 _It’s just a machine._ He felt like a hangman tying a noose. Allen was resolute about it, which almost made it worse. It would have been easier if it were against Allen’s will, somehow. Wells didn’t know how to explain it, even to himself.

 _We’ll get his speed back._ He’d floated to Allen the possibility of a double-cross. Allen hadn’t liked that idea.

“I don’t want my speed if I have to stoop that low to get it. Pretending to be good, then revealing it was an act--that’s what he did.”

When Allen was in that mood, there was no arguing. The Wests would arrive shortly, and then Ramon would vibe Zoom to begin the trade.

Besides, if anyone could figure out a way to restore Speed Force to a healthy subject, it was Snow. She’d been studying it almost incessantly ever since she’d learned Garrick was sick. She’d figure out a way. In the meantime, she could always make Allen V-9 for emergencies. Everything would work out.

Still, he couldn’t get rid of a nagging little feeling on the hairs at the back of his neck.  _Something is going to go wrong._  
****

* * *

**_ Caitlin _ **

Barry found Caitlin in her office on the morning of the trade. 

“Hey--so I went over the side effects, and it seems like you’ll be fine in the long run.”

He looked up at her from his seat on the examining table. “Cait--Wells thinks I should double-cross him, Cisco thinks I should just go rescue Wally, Joe and Iris think I should think of something better--anything better than this. Cait--am I doing the right thing, do you think?”

 _He needs to know that we supported him in this._ Ronnie didn’t get to know that. “Yes, you are. Or at least, if not the right thing, a noble thing.”

He nodded. “Were you--Cait, were you upset at Ronnie? After he died?”

The memory was bitter. “Yes. And at Stein. It’s hard to watch someone else make a sacrifice. I felt like, if Ronnie had cared enough, he would have stayed, and we would have fixed it together. I thought it was irresponsible of him and Stein to make that decision without considering the people who depended on it. But staying, trying to be together--that would have been noble. Leaving, that was right.”

Barry’s face was solemn. “Like Star Trek. Kirk is noble; Spock is right.”

She laughed. “Yep. The good of the many outweighs the good of the few. Live Long and Prosper.” She mimed a Vulcan salute. “Barry--you should do whatever you think you won’t feel guilty about in twenty years. That’s how I make decisions. You know, when Ronnie asked me to marry him, I wasn’t quite sure if I was ready. I decided to marry him when I realized that I would look back on our time as--golden, if I said no. If I said no, I’d always wonder what would happen if I’d said yes. If I said yes--I wouldn’t look back. He didn’t understand that, of course. Ronnie preferred to do what he wanted, when he wanted to. Anyway--that’s another day’s conversation.”

He hopped up from the table. “Alright, Cait, let’s get you out of here.”

“Why? Cisco’s staying.”

Barry sat back down. The table was high, and he was taller than her, so it put them at eye level. “Cait, you don’t have to prove anything. Everyone here knows you’re brave--coming face-to-face with him, that’s something you shouldn’t have to do.”

She shook her head. “You should have a medical professional here in case anything goes wrong--”

“At the very least go into the Time Vault--”

“No. I thought about it, Barry, I really did. But in twenty years--I’m going to want to have faced him down. If I leave today--someday, I’ll regret it.”

He got up. “See you after. Hey--you know, we’ll have to race, O Queen of the Track. Before you figure out how to get my speed back. You got any ideas?”

“A few. I’ll reveal them after I kick your butt on the hundred-meter.”  
****

* * *

**_ Hunter _ **

It had been ten minutes, and there was time, now, to relax and enjoy the spectacle. He’d released Wally, confident that Barry wouldn’t double-cross him. There was really very little left for Hunter to do but wait for the siphon to be finished, trying not to let the anticipation get to him. The team had started asking questions about how he’d pulled it off--and he’d been happy to oblige with answers, even though good magicians don’t reveal their tricks.

It had been ten and a half minutes, and she hadn’t met his eyes since that first moment when he unmasked. She’d stared at him, almost tremulously, as if afraid of what she might see, and it was all he could do not to speed to her side and hold her until the tears finally came. He waited, studying her, knowing that eventually, the dam would burst. Six hundred and forty-three seconds, and she hadn’t cried yet. No shaking in her shoulders, not a tremor of her fingers. Even her breathing was steady and clear. Hunter could barely believe he’d left her again, alone and unprotected, even though it had been disastrous the last time. He’d made her think she meant nothing to him. He looked directly at her, trying to tell her with his glance that Zoom was still Jay, that everything would be all right. Once, she would have obeyed his silent request and quieted, accepting the truth, but now she was shaking her head to herself as if to say, _no, this isn’t real_. He stared her down, willing her to lift her eyes, to speak. How did she not remember? 

The siphon would be ready, soon. It was only the coup de grace of a battle he’d decisively won at every turn. This outcome had never been in doubt. But now she’d finally looked at him, and spoken, and the sheer hatred and disgust he saw in her eyes was like the lash of a whip to his face. (He’d fought a meta who could elongate himself. Hunter had nursed the cuts for almost a day. He hated whips.) “You’re a monster,” she said, and he tried not to remember what those words meant, but it was like she’d hit his resonating frequency and he was about to shatter--

There was nobody who could shatter him. Not anymore. He tried not to see the way her eyes had been poisoned, clear wells now polluted with hatred. In his mind’s eye, he remembered the way she looked at him before, so much trust it made his heart swell like it would burst, the way her hands were all rough calluses except for the backs, which were orchid-petal smooth. Her hair, bouncy, liquid, impossibly easy to tangle, fanning out like a halo whenever she hadn’t been paying attention to it. Hunter would remember anything to shut out Mother kneeling on the ground, the feel of the helmet on his head, the roughness of his father’s voice, the enticing click of the safety. 

Caitlin’s memory couldn’t shut any of that away--only she herself could do that, and then only willingly. The speed siphon was ready--that was the cure. The Speed Force had saved him from the dark forest twining vines around his mind, given him something else to be, shone a flashlight that made the vines recoil. If he couldn’t have Caitlin--a bright star that only burned dimly now in her turmoil--he would have this. Revenge on Barry Allen, who’d gotten lucky, whose father loved him, who hadn’t seen the way the gun flashed like a camera. This--the lightning that was going to course through the vial--was his birthright.

On the way out of the room, he brushed up against Cait. Every molecule of her tensed at his proximity. He could hear her breath catch, jaggedly. “Can we talk?” he whispered casually, smiling at her, channeling every ounce of Jay Garrick left in him. She recoiled like he had slapped her and speeded up her stride. Hunter matched her, step for step, until Cisco violently elbowed his way between them. He stole a clandestine glance at Cait over Cisco’s head. She seemed caught up wholly in herself, absorbed in something violent inside her, the crystalline lake he remembered overcast by a brooding storm, the clear reflecting surface splintered into a thousand jagged waves. _Soon, I can fix this._ After he’d finished with this Earth, he’d come for her, wipe the lines away from her eyebrows, help her heal, teach her how to smile. _Barry’s speed will fix everything._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time: Cisco is uncomfortable, and Caitlin tries to put a brave face on things.
> 
> Poor Caitlin has no idea of all the misery I'm sending her way...
> 
> Thanks so much for reading!!!


	39. Cisco, Caitlin

_**Cisco** _

Cisco Ramon wanted-- _needed_ \--a shower. Zoom seemed to exude this slimy miasma through the whole room. It was all Cisco could do to keep from physically scratching his skin to get rid of the oiliness. Then, again, he also wanted to beat Zoom up, but that was another story. It was so difficult to sit in the same room with him, knowing what he’d done to Harry, to Jesse, to Wally. The way he’d used Cait. The fact that Barry was going to just give up, and there was nothing to be done, because the jerk was just that good, damn him! _When today is over, I’m going to run a REALLY hot bath, and just soak...and then I’ll use one of those really stiff scrubbing brushes, with lots of soap._ No--he should take Cait home after this. See how she was doing, maybe make her some dinner. He’d seen the inside of her fridge last night--it was a jungle of TV meals. And for once, it would be fun if he and his bestie could just go on a walk without having to worry about metahuman attacks. _Barry won’t have his speed back yet--the city won’t be safe for us._ Okay, no walk. Fine. But someone had to keep Cait from working through the night, and Iris had tipped Cisco off that she and Joe would be looking after Barry for the evening. That was how Team Flash rolled--when people were upset, everyone else coordinated to help fix it. Recently, that meant Cisco and Iris. He stole a glance at Cait. She was hunched over against a wall, her eyes roving restlessly between the team’s faces and the ground by--that _jerk’s_ feet. Cisco wished for the googlilionth time that he had powers more suited to the task of punching Zoom in the face. 

The speed siphon was ready. Cisco felt a roiling in his gut and desperately hoped that he neither vomited nor randomly caused an earthquake. He forced himself to walk, one foot in front of another. _How do condemned prisoners manage to make it to the electric chair? You’d think their legs would give out._ Up ahead, he could see Hunter Zolomon’s back--Cisco clenched his fists so he didn’t accidentally release a concussive blast. Hunter had brushed up against Cait, and he was herding her to the fringes of the little cluster, matching her stride as she changed her speed to try and escape. _After all this time, can’t he just accept that he’s won and stop trying to rub it in everyone’s faces?_ Team Flash looked out for its own, and if Barry didn’t want a way to not give his speed to Zoom, then Cisco was going to help Cait get rid of her creepy supervillain stalker. He raced up and inserted himself between them. “Hey Cait! Um, do you have the specs on the plasmoid yet? ‘Cause after this, we’d better get on that.” She nodded distractedly. “Oh, and I was thinking--Force Awakens is out on DVD, and Barry could probably use the distraction--how does Team Flash movie night tomorrow at his place sound? I’ve already cleared it with Iris.” Caitlin shot him a grateful glance as Hunter Zolomon moved farther away, almost imperceptibly. 

_This is sick, what we’re doing--watching Barry give up his speed to Zoom. He’s making this grand spectacle out of how much he’s won, how we are voluntarily handing over our only way to fight him._ They were all gathered around the window, now. Zoom’s grin was a sick combo of maniacal and smug, and Cisco tried not to think about Captain Cold’s face...he took a spot next to Cait and shut his eyes. He couldn’t watch this, or he would never unsee it. 

He heard the room give a collective gasp, heard Barry fall off the treadmill, heard Zoom’s dumb, generic evil-supervillain-laugh, which was a little high-pitched and squeaky for his personal taste. And then he heard Caitlin yell, “ _NO_!” and he opened his eyes to see Zoom holding Barry up against the wall and Caitlin about to rush headlong into the treadmill room. He grabbed her arm just outside the door as Iris raced past. 

“Cait--what are you doing?”

She broke his grip, but he was blocking her path, and he knew she’d hear him out before doing anything stupid. “Cisco--there’s a chance he’ll listen to me. For the sake of the past. Listen, I’ve got to try. We’ve lost everyone--but I’m not losing Barry.”

She passed him, running into the room, addressing Zolomon directly, calling on the past they shared, talking about how the man she had loved would let Barry go. It was almost funny to see her manipulate him the way they all had been manipulated, turning his trite clichés into weapons against him. Zolomon dropped Barry violently, and Iris ran to him. Beside Cisco, Harry was practically licking his lips at the different ways they could use Cait against Zoom, now that they knew he cared about her. _Turnabout is fair play, and Zoom used Jesse against Harry--but Cait won’t let him cross any lines. If she lets him cross lines without hitting him or slipping something in his food, Barry will hit him. Even I would hit him._  
An uncomfortable silence fell. _What now? Do we thank him for shopping at STAR Labs, walk him out, and wish him a nice day?_ Zolomon had turned around now, and he was towering over Caitlin, who was straightening her spine and meeting his eyes as coolly as she did Cisco’s when they fought. Caitlin stepped back as Zolomon started forward, and Cisco saw a glint in his eye, like an owl about to snatch up a tasty-- _oh no._

There was a crackle of blue, and Zoom was gone. Where Cait had been, there was nothing left. And all Cisco could think about was how she’d told him that none of Zolomon’s victims survived being kidnapped. 

Still, none of them had Vibe, the Flash, and a whole team of helpers working to get them back. And then he remembered--without Caitlin’s help, there was literally no way Barry could get his speed back. _Okay, we’re all screwed._

* * *

 ** _Caitlin_**  
Caitlin felt surprisingly calm. _That’s minor shock kicking in, coupled with the lack of oxygen._ He had her draped across his arms like a Bond girl--knees across one arm, back supported by the other. _The trouble with this hold is that it makes it easy for him to tell if I’m awake or not._ Caitlin didn’t want to be awake when they got--wherever they were going.

Theoretically, she could have been knocked out by the lack of oxygen. So she faked a blackout, slumping herself back and dangling her head limply. Most people assumed that your eyes closed when you fainted, but that wasn’t true. So Caitlin waited carefully, blinking normally, so that when he checked to see if she was awake or not, she could stare glassy-eyed at him without blinking. She and Cisco used to have frequent staring contests to pass the time while Barry was out on missions. _Don’t think about Barry; think about how I am going to survive._ She had to survive this.

The pressure in her ears shifted suddenly, and there was blue light all around her for a second. _He’s crossing the breach._ She felt a twinge of fear--there was no way that they could come for her now, not for a long time--and focused on trying to slow down her breathing as much as she could, make her pulse as faint as possible. There wasn’t any room to think about the enormity of what was happening right now, to think about everything that could go wrong. That would speed her heart rate up, just like thinking about how much she hated him. It would be a dead tell that she hadn’t fainted, and she couldn’t risk it.

The lack of oxygen was getting painful, even though she’d thought she was used to it. Finally, she could feel him beginning to slow down--no, he was speeding up again, and according to her inner ear, he was running right up a wall--now he’d stopped. 

He was laying her down on some kind of soft surface, reaching out and taking her hand. Caitlin tried not to let her pulse give her away. He felt it for barely a second before leaning over to scrutinize her face, so close she could feel his breath on her, so close it was an effort to keep still. When her life depended on a deadpan, Caitlin could give a fairly good deadpan. At any rate, he reached out to close her eyes--she’d counted on the fact that the resemblance between fainting and death would unnerve him. Caitlin didn’t allow herself the luxury of wincing at his touch. Now he had her hand again, and--oh no, he was chaining it. He’d promised to teach her how to get out of handcuffs, but never gotten around to it. Now he’d chained the other one, and he’d gone over to a desk, grabbed something, and pulled open her eye. It was a flashlight, and he was shining it right in her eye. _Well, the dilation would be a giveaway, if he weren’t holding the light so close he won’t be able to see my eye._ So the point was not to see if she’d been fainting. The point was to wake her up. Slowly, she let the other eye begin to blink open. _Do I flatter him? Or remind him that I don’t belong to him?_ She decided against sleepily murmuring either Jay’s or Ronnie’s name, instead choosing a noncommittal “Mmmmrm?”

He was to the right of her bed, and even though he’d pulled up a chair, he still towered over her. She sat up slowly, trying to level the playing field, but found herself hindered by the chains. Caitlin had planned to recline against the headrest, but decided in light of the chains to make do with sitting upright in the middle of the bed. She pretended she hadn’t been aware of the chains before, tugging against them with growing alarm until he gripped her gently by the elbow. He was dressed as Jay Garrick, not Zoom. “Cait--it’s okay. I’m here.”

She turned around, trying to look confused. “Jay? What’s going on? What happened?” _Let’s see how he spins it._

“It’s okay. You’re safe. I promised you I’d always come for you, and I came. You don’t have to pretend anymore--we can be together.”

“What do you mean?” He leaned in, holding one of her chained hands. As delicately as she could, she extracted it from his grip and moved it as far away from him as the chains would let her. 

“Cait--”

“My name’s Caitlin.” If she pretended she was in love with him, he might expect her to help him fight. Besides, if he found her out--well, his MO was consistent: murder after a perceived betrayal. Actively resisting him, though, would get her hurt and discourage him from keeping her alive longer. Her best bet was to walk the tightrope between acquiescence and defiance, to appear always just on the verge of giving in. Here in the beginning (and she knew from the case files that this could stretch for months), she could afford to be a little more icy--he wouldn’t expect her to throw herself into his arms immediately.

Actually, judging by his face, that was just what he did expect. Cisco was right--he had lost all power over her, which was _great_ , except for the fact that she was chained up in his secret lair, beyond hope of being found, much less rescued.

“Caitlin. Listen, I am so sorry I wasn’t there to explain before. But I know we love each other, and I was going to wait until the whole Barry complication was out of the way...”

She just let his words wash right over her head. There was no point in interrupting. When he stopped, she met his eyes, trying to find a bit of steel within herself to display prominently. “Whatever you want, I’m not going to betray my friends.”  
He-- _Zoom_ seemed confused. “I’m not asking you to hurt them in any way. I would love your help, but if you don’t feel comfortable helping me, that’s fine.”

“Then what do you want?”

“I love you, Caitlin. I want us to be together, forever.”

There was only one response, really. “I don’t love you.”

Zoom seemed a little taken aback, but recovered quickly. “We both know that’s not true. You just need time to remember it.”

That wasn’t what Caitlin needed. She needed time to think about how to get herself out of this horrible mess. It was her versus him: 5’ 5” versus 6’ 4”, smarts versus menace, biology education versus superspeed. There wasn’t any help coming. She was going to _die_ , here, far away from everyone she knew.

_Maybe. But for now, I still live._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time: Jesse chats, and Cisco reads Wikipedia.
> 
> Arrow 100 was so amazing. That's all I have to say. So. Amazing.


	40. Jesse, Cisco

_**Jesse** _

It was a full day before Jesse heard back from Wally.

 

> Sender: speedingwest@gmail.com
> 
> Subject: Re: Remember me still?
> 
> Hey Jess--  
>  Listen, I don’t have much time right now--they’re going to be home any minute--but I need to talk. Can we chat or something? A lot’s happened here, and I need your help.
> 
> W

With the email was a link to a chatroom invite. Jesse smiled. Wally knew she couldn’t resist a mystery.

geekgirl9: Hey W--what’s going on.

speedingwest: Oh, good, you’re here. Listen, who’s the Flash?

geekgirl9: What?

speedingwest: Look, I have to know. You know that silver dude?

geekgirl9: Zoom? Yeah. Wally, is everything okay?

speedingwest: I’m fine. He kidnapped me. Zoom, I mean.

geekgirl9:?!?!?!?!

geekgirl9: Those sentences don’t go together. Listen, is your family okay? How’s Barry?

speedingwest: The Flash gave up his speed to save me, I think. It was hard to tell. But yeah, I’m safe.

speedingwest: Joe and Iris are fine.

geekgirl9: Barry?

speedingwest: Haven’t seen him in a couple hours, but fine as far as I know.

speedingwest: Who’s the Flash?

geekgirl9: Um, we’re in an online chatroom. This is pretty hackable.

speedingwest: Look, I have to see him. At least to say thank you.

geekgirl9: Wall, I can’t do that. I haven’t talked to him since I left. Listen, what’s the news in Central look like? Recent catastrophes?

speedingwest: Nope. I guess I can ask Joe about a meeting with the Flash.

geekgirl9: Good idea.

speedingwest: Miss u, btw. When’s your next school break?

geekgirl9: Couple months away. But if things get too bad in Central, I’ll take some time off and come back. Listen, if anything happens, keep me in touch.

speedingwest: If I call you, can you tell me? Jess, I’m sick of being kept out of the loop, and I’m never going to be in the loop until I know who he is. You’ve got to get what I mean--hating the secrets.

geekgirl9: Secrets are there for a reason.

speedingwest: I wouldn’t tell.

geekgirl9: Under torture?

speedingwest: Zoom already knew who the Flash was. Besides, if they didn’t know who he was, how would they know if I knew him?

speedingwest: Do I know him?

speedingwest: He can use all the help he can get. I just want to do something good with my life.

speedingwest: Plus, he’s like, my hero.

speedingwest: You always tell me how much you hate people not being honest.

geekgirl9: Not my secret to tell.

speedingwest: Better me knowing than a villain. I want to be involved, not stuck on the sidelines being protected.

geekgirl9: OK FINE. I give up. You want to die, that’s your call. I’m not responsible for Joe, Iris et al. trying to kill you to keep you out of this, btw.

speedingwest: I won’t let you down. Or him.

geekgirl9: Listen, I’m going to call you. Don’t pick up. Listen to the message I leave once, then erase it. I mean it. Any questions, email. If you use the name I give you in the email, I will throttle you.

speedingwest: LOL yes ma’am

geekgirl9 has left the chat room.

Feeling like a traitor to everyone she cared about, Jesse dialed Wally’s number. She understood how hard it was to sit on the sidelines and feel like you didn’t understand what was happening. “Barry Allen,” she said simply, and hung up.

She waited by her computer, but Wally never wrote back.

* * *

**_ Cisco _ **

In movies, they glossed over a lot of the stuff that comes with every kidnapping--the police coming to take statements, the mundane business of what to do with the kidnap victim’s belongings, all the little ways to fill up the everyday gap that person left, the things that must be done. There wasn’t time for Cisco to grieve. When everyone realized Caitlin was gone, there was a sort of shocked silence, almost a numbness. But it was broken quickly as Joe took charge. “We’ve got to leave this room as it is. I’ll call the department and see if they can send someone from the task-force unit over. Harry, take all traces of your presence and get the hell out. If they find out you were here, it’s going to be trouble, and you’re gonna get arrested. Barry, change out of your Flash suit--Iris, go see if you can make head or tail of Caitlin’s medical equipment enough to make sure he’s okay. They’re going to want statements from all of you, when they get here. Cisco, find her phone and start calling the people who need to know--her family, her landlord, anybody she has any obligations to. Don’t tell them any specifics, just that she’s disappeared in a meta attack.”

Harry frowned. “Why are we reporting this to the police at all? There’s nothing they can do to help Snow. At a recent statistic, the national percentage of women who survived incarceration by a kidnapper was--”

“Don’t finish that!” Cisco could hear his voice turning into a bellow, and his face was tingling like he was getting acupuncture.

“Ramon, we can’t live in denial about this. Snow--”

“Cait’s not going to die, because we’re going to help her. And if you’re not on board with that, then I suggest you stop being involved with this team.”

At that point, Barry grabbed him by the elbow and got him through the doorway into the hall. “Hey--we’re gonna get her back. ‘Kay?”

Cisco closed his eyes, trying to meditate or something for a brief second, because he could use the peace and calm right now. “Barr--do you think he’s gonna kill her?”

Barry’s face was inscrutable, like a war veteran feeling the pain of a long-since-healed wound. He’s thinking about his speed. “I don’t see why he’d kill her. He didn’t kill me, when she told him not to. For a while, at least, she’ll be okay.”

 _He didn’t see the murder victims or the trial transcripts._ Cisco was about to tell him when Joe came to get Barry so he could give his statement. Cisco was left alone with the phone.

Cait’s landlady didn’t care. If the rent kept being paid, then she wouldn’t rent out the apartment. If not, she would. Cisco checked Caitlin's calendar app and her Facebook to see what commitments she had in the upcoming weeks. There wasn’t anything listed there, or on the calendar in her office. He’d kind of suspected that--Cait tended to clear her schedule whenever there was crimefighting going on. So instead, Cisco scrolled through her Facebook friends (there were 150 of them, mostly people she hadn’t had anything to do with for over two years) and the contacts on her phone. There were only a few of the latter--the team, Hunter, Stein, her grandmother, Tina McGee, Ronnie-- _Dr. Carla Tannhauser?_ Who was that?

Cisco pulled up some photos. Dr. Tannhauser looked just shy of sixty. Her grey eyes seemed like she had never laughed at a punch line, and her hair was pulled back into a very strict bun. According to her Wikipedia page, Dr. Tannhauser was the proprietor of a biochem lab in New York, who had built up a very lucrative chain of research facilities. _How does Cait know her?_ It took a bit of scrolling before he saw the important sentence:

**_In 1984, Tannhauser met Michael Snow, who she married in 1987; the couple had one daughter (b. 1989) before Snow’s death in 2000._ **

There was no other mention of Cait in the article, but that was definitely her. Looking now at Carla Tannhauser, it did look like someone had done old-age CGI on a photo of Caitlin in one of her most vicious moods. Honestly, Dr. Tannhauser was kind of scary. Cisco decided to call Cait’s grandmother and try to contact Stein. Dr. Carla Tannhauser didn’t need to know anything about her daughter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time: Caitlin makes a discovery, and Cisco makes a phone call.


	41. Caitlin, Cisco, Harry

**_ Caitlin _ **

Caitlin had flatly refused to further engage with him, rolling over away from him as best she could until he finally murmured something about letting her get some sleep and crept away. There was no way she was going to sleep with him around. She had to stay as alert as she could in order to get out of there.

 _What in the world am I doing here?_ When Caitlin was younger, she’d complained to her dad about women in books--how they always ended up kidnapped so that they could fall in love. Caitlin had thought that was silly and stupid. She’d told her mom one night that she wanted to be a warrior princess when she grew up. After that, fairy tales had been fewer and farther between.

Still, Caitlin had always had a secret hatred of authors who had villains kidnap women as a storytelling device. When Ronnie invited her to go see “Phantom of the Opera,” she’d had a hard time not snickering through the whole thing at how stupid Christine was. She’d gotten kicked out of a book group for reductively declaring that Helen should have just snuck out of Troy. Even Cisco had thrown up his hands in frustration when she’d complained about the way female characters acted in the books he’d recommended to her. (The Barsoom books, source of “We still live,” which was probably going to become her new motto, featured a woman clad in the literary equivalent of a Slave Leia bikini, who spent 98% of her time on the page locked up while remaining faithful to the work’s hero.)

Now the joke was on her. Here she was, in just as ludicrous a situation as any fictional heroine. There wasn’t an army coming to pick her up, or even a dimwitted Viscount. And although Zoom had several animalistic qualities, she wasn’t keen on playing Beauty to his Beast. 

The cliffs were probably impassable. He’d have to let her up from the bed eventually, but she’d never escape if he was watching. She didn’t have a trans-Earth communicator, but Cisco would probably vibe her, so at least they’d know she was okay. If she could find a way to make it out of his lair, she could probably survive somewhere until someone came for her. If she could make it to Wells’ bunker before he noticed she was gone, then he might not find her. But she couldn’t get back to Earth-1 without a breach and a speed cannon. She had neither at the moment.

She could try and trick him into bringing her back. That way, escaping would be a matter of getting out of wherever he was holding her and going to the lab. She’d have to be careful with both those options--according to his history, if he believed she was betraying him, he’d murder her. 

There was always the option of pretending that she was convinced-- _no. I won’t do that._ It was a monumental effort not to flinch when he touched her. Kissing him? That wasn’t an option. Caitlin had nearly flunked Drama. He’d find her out, and even if he didn’t, he’d guard her more jealously if-- _when_ Barry came to rescue her.

In the meantime, she needed to focus on endurance. She picked out some of her happiest memories with Ronnie and walked her mind through the motions of them. 

_When he walked in that first day, there was a goofy smile on his_ tap _and he_ tap _out his hand and said, “Um, are you bioengineering? ‘Cause_ tap _think we’re_ tap _to the_ tap _subproject for_ tap _. Um--_ tap _\--Ronnie Raymond, by the way. And you are?”_

That tapping was getting on her nerves. _What is Zoom doing back there?_ “SHUT UP!” came Zoom’s snarl. Okay, so that wasn’t Zoom. Who-- _oh, the man in the iron mask._

Caitlin had liked that book a lot as a child, even though there weren’t any interesting women in it. She’d enjoyed reading about the Three Musketeers, and recently, they reminded her of herself, Barry, and Cisco. _Which I guess makes Hunter Milady DeWinter_. That was a funny image-- _Focus, Caitlin. If he’s in a mask, it’s to keep him from communicating, but Jesse said he uses tap code._ That might help her escape. Or at least give her some information about what Zoom was doing. 

Even if it turned out to be nothing, at least she wouldn’t die of boredom before she got murdered.

* * *

**_ Cisco _ **

Cisco had made his statement to the police. By the time they got around to him, they had most of the facts from Barry and Joe--Zoom had attacked the lab while the Flash had been elsewhere, abducted Dr. Snow, and left. So they just asked him to confirm those facts, and then they moved on to Iris. The whole process took five minutes, and yet it somehow seemed to solidify once and for all the fact that Cait was gone. After the police left, there was the matter of what to do with Caitlin’s desk and office. Cisco wanted to leave it for when she got back, but the team decided to clear it off and store her stuff--they could always use more space. It was little cynicisms like that that made it clear--nobody really thought Caitlin could be saved. Then they’d had to figure out how to make it look like the Flash was still operating, which meant several hours developing state-of-the-art hologram technology. They made the requisite jokes about transwarp beaming and Obi-Wan Kenobi being their only hope, but without Caitlin to act ignorant of everything, it wasn’t the same. 

Now, Cisco was staring at her phone. The police had made it clear--someone had to call Dr. Tannhauser. As Caitlin’s next of kin, she had to be notified, and they’d suggested that someone who knew Caitlin should do it. Barry had been despondent, Iris and Joe busy. Wells was still hiding from the police. So he was dialing the number into his phone, hoping this woman who had ruined Cait’s life wouldn’t pick up, because what would he even say to her?

“Dr. Carla Tannhauser. This is my private number. How did you get this?”

The voice was like Cait’s, so much like it, but so openly hostile, it made him cringe. Cisco began to feel as if Carla Tannhauser had a metahuman power to murder people with her voice. “This is Cisco Ramon; I’m head of Engineering at STAR Labs in Central.”

“Don’t know, don’t care, don’t want to hire you.”

In fairness, she couldn’t have been any ruder if she’d thought for a month about this situation, so at least she was intelligent and thought on her feet. “I work with your daughter. Caitlin Snow? She’s been kidnapped.”

“I’m not paying you anything. I honestly couldn’t care less if you kill her. My ungrateful brat won’t get a penny of ransom from me.” 

“I didn’t do it. She was taken in a meta attack. I wouldn’t have called, except I’m legally required to, since you’re her next of kin.” 

“If Caitlin has been idiotic enough to get herself kidnapped by a metahuman, she’s no kin of mine. Make that husband of hers pay the money.”

Cisco hung up before he could yell at Caitlin’s mother. _How is it possible to be that horrible?_ There was an amused snort from behind him, and he turned to see Harry leaning against the wall. “So--is Dr. Carla Tannhauser a singularly unpleasant person on every Earth? I used to work with her on my Earth sometimes.”

“You knew Caitlin’s mom?” Harry continued to surprise him at every turn.

“Yes. Ramon, we’re going to get her back. We have to make that a top priority. In the meantime--if anyone can get out of this alive, it’s Snow. Ramon, try not to lose it--you’re the only sane person around here, and Allen needs somebody to be reasonably happy. Have you vibed her?”

Cisco nodded. “Yep. Harry--she looks miserable. He’s got her chained up to a bed, and she’s like, on hunger strike or something. He’s laid out food for her, and she won’t eat. It’s in the same lair as before--the one with the cliffs. Physically, she’s fine, but if she doesn’t eat something eventually, she won’t be. While I vibed, he looked like he might forcefeed her, but he backed off. Harry--you don’t think she’s trying to--?” He couldn’t make himself say it.

“Die? Snow? No, I doubt it. If she wanted to do that, she could probably strangle herself with her chains. Ramon, promise me you won’t vibe Snow again, not until we have a plan to rescue her. We have to keep our focus on doing instead of worrying. The police are going to be back soon, so I’d better go.”

He had to tell someone. “Harry--the day before, Cait was reading transcripts from the trials. His victims--they all look kind of like her, and they were all kidnapped. Do you think--we should have kept her out?” Harry shook his head. 

“Ramon, if we’d done that, we’d be trying to explain why Barry Allen and the Flash both died in the same meta attack.”

Somehow, that didn’t satisfy the guilty feeling in Cisco’s stomach. 

* * *

** Harry **

Snow getting kidnapped was a big setback. When Zoom had dropped Allen, it had seemed like a miraculous stroke of luck--not only was Allen still alive, Zoom had taken away one weapon to fight him with only to give them another. Zoom’s love for Snow was the only weakness he’d betrayed thus far.

Then he’d taken Snow. Wells wondered how long it would be before Ramon accepted that Snow might not make it out alive. All the brilliance in the world couldn’t save her if Zoom were to decide to murder her. It certainly hadn’t saved his daughter. If Ramon were to by some freak coincidence vibe her at the exact moment when she died--that would crush him. So Wells had to prepare Ramon to possibly lose Snow. Still, he didn’t agree with Allen and the Wests, who were studiously trying to ignore the situation, refusing to even try and brainstorm possible ways to get Snow out. 

To Wells the solution was to realize that Snow might die at any second, but to use that realization to fuel their drive to get her back. It was possible to save her, but it was going to be close. He had gotten absurdly fond of the lab team. If Snow died, it might never be the same. They were so young, all of them, and a major loss might end the team forever. So there were three things that had to happen: 

  1. They had to get Allen’s speed back.
  2. They had to get Snow back.
  3. They had to defeat Zoom once and for all, beyond the possibility that he could ever return.



Wells enjoyed contemplating the third item on the list. It was pleasant to imagine ripping Zoom limb from limb and hearing his screams. He’d told Allen that when he came around to ask for recommendations on what to do with Zoom. Allen had not been open to that option, but had written it down anyway. It was nice to be outside of the lab during the day. He hadn’t felt sun on his face for months. 

Wells didn’t have much time to register anything but surprise when an old man tore the door off his car, pulled him out of the driver’s seat, and knocked him out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time: Hunter is deluded, Jesse comes to the rescue, and Caitlin meets an ally.


	42. Hunter, Jesse, Caitlin

**_ Hunter _ **

_“Jay! You’re back! I was worried I’d go into labor without you.”  
_

_“I would never leave you alone.”  
_

_“Jay, the others--are they?”  
_

_“Cait, I need to tell you something.”  
_

_“What is it, Jay?”  
_

_“Can you sit down, Cait? Listen--I wasn’t entirely honest when we first met.”  
_

_“I know, Jay. You told me that Zoom stole your speed, when you really lost it taking V-5.”  
_

_“Yes, but that’s not the only thing I should have told you. My name isn’t Jay Garrick. My parents didn’t die in a car crash when I was young--my father killed my mother. And--Cait?”  
_

_“Yes? Jay--whatever your name is--”  
_

_“Hunter.”  
_

_“Hunter, then. It doesn’t matter, not at all. That doesn’t change what I love about you.”  
_

_“Cait, just hear me out. I have to tell you. Otherwise--we can’t be happy.”  
_

_“Alright.”  
_

_“Cait--I’ve killed people. Lots of people. People who hurt me, I’ve hurt them.”  
_

_“Jay--Hunter--”  
_

_“I love you, Cait. And if I was going to hurt you, I would have already. There wouldn’t be any point to telling you this. Just--don’t let yourself hate me.”  
_

_“Hunter, you are the center of my universe. Why would I ever hate you? I’m proud of you--you stand up for yourself. I’ve never been able to do that.”  
_

_“You don’t need to do that. I swear, Cait, that I will protect you--and this child--from everything. But there’s more I have to tell you.”  
_

_“Barry’s dead, isn’t he? I guessed as much when he never commed in. The others, too?”  
_

_“Cait--”  
_

_“It’s fine. They were hardly good friends to me. Besides, I have you now, and soon we’ll have a family. Hunter--promise you won’t leave me. You’re the only one I have left.”  
_

_“Cait--you saved me. I will always be there by your side. You have to understand, I had no choice--I’m just glad you stayed in the bunker. The war’s over, Cait. And even though you didn’t know to hope for it, the right side won. I swear, Cait--I married you. I promised to keep you safe, and to do what was best. Do you trust that I did the right thing?”  
_

_“I’m going to miss them. But I never doubted for a second that whatever you did was right.”_

It was supposed to go like that. Maybe she wouldn’t be accepting--maybe she would scream, pound her fists, cry. But he would hold her while she fought, and she would never be able to hurt him.

This way was harder, though. It didn’t matter--her resistance just made everything more of an entertaining challenge. He’d won her before, he could do it again.

* * *

**_ Jesse _ **

 

> Sender: ciscoisawesome@gmail.com
> 
> Subject: SOS SOS SOS SOS seriously Jesse open this email up because Harry’s in trouble
> 
> Hi--
> 
> So basically Harry and Caitlin are kidnapped--well, separately--and Barry doesn’t have any speed because Zoom took it because he kidnapped Wally West--Zoom, that is. So Zoom’s got Cait now, and Harry was out trying to not be in the lab so the police didn’t see him when some guy with grey hair tore the door off his car and kidnapped him and we’ve found him but Barry got beaten up because he couldn’t escape the guy’s punches and so you’ve got to come to Central like right away as in right now or else Harry’s probably gonna die and anyway please please hurry because the only way to fight superstrength is with superstrength or a big tank and we don’t have a tank or even a machine gun so can you come like ASAP well actually just wait outside so I can pick you up, but you know--come!
> 
> C
> 
> P.S. Don’t read this--you should like be already on your way by now! Why are you stopping to read a PS? Go go go go go!!! I’m driving over right now--get everything you possibly might need. I’ll probably be there by the time you get this.
> 
> Jesse grabbed her coat and waited on the doorstep. True to his word, Cisco pulled up a minute later. She hopped in the passenger seat--her boot was off now, and she could walk freely--and he started the car. They didn’t speak until he had run every red light between her apartment and the freeway.

“Cisco--what’s wrong? Your email was kind of incoherent.”

He sighed, heavily. “Somebody named Griffin Grey kidnapped your dad--I mean, Harry.”

“I get that Harry was kidnapped. What do you mean, Zoom’s got Cait?”

“Jay was Zoom. Well, Jay was Hunter is Zoom. And he’s got a massive crush on Cait, and he’s Phantom-of-the-Opera-ed her off to Earth-2, and he’s actually a serial killer, and even if I could open a breach, he’d kill us before we got her out, because Barry used the speed siphon to transfer his speed force to Zoom in exchange for Wally West’s life.”

 _So that’s what made Wally want to know who the Flash was._ “Wally wrote me about that. Where is Harry being held?”

“Old amusement park. I think it’s a pretty devious method of torturing him--making him be forced to witness things that were once used for the crime of making people have fun.”

“We’ll save him. We’ll save both of them.”

Cisco looked glum for a second, then grinned. “Of course we will.”

She laughed loudly. “You know, you are such a hypocrite! You are literally doing the _exact_ same thing you got mad at Cait for doing.”

He gave her a rueful half-grin. “I know why she did it, now. Somebody’s got to keep on going, Jesse. And it isn’t Barry, so Iris and I are trying to keep ourselves afloat.”

“Keep calm and carry on?”

He nodded. “We still live. That’s what I was trying to tell Cait.”

“Nerd! Did she read the Barsoom books?”

Cisco smiled for real. “Only half of one. Hated how useless the girls were at everything.”

“If Cait had her way, every heroine in a book would need a doctorate to begin with.”

* * *

**_ Caitlin _ **

When he came back, the food was still untouched on the bed. If the mask had been off, she might have seen him frown, but he didn’t bother to remove it as he sat down on the side of the bed.

“Caitlin. You need to eat.” They’d had this conversation at least nine times already over the course of the week she estimated she’d spent here, and this time he’d even left his voice modulator in. The uncomfortable snarl was like fingernails on chalkboard.

“I’m not hungry.” She wasn’t looking at him, and she was trying to hunch over, anything to shut him out.

“You’re lying.” They’d said all this one too many times, and now it was an almost automatic call and response. She could barely find energy to murmur her answers, now.

“I’m not hungry.” Actually, she was, but she’d remembered the first time he’d brought food that several of his victims had shown unusual toxicology--sedatives, antidepressants, even truth drugs. There was no way she was going to eat anything he gave her. She'd drunk water, but she'd made sure that the bottle was unopened. It had tasted normal, and she hadn't had any problems. But food was vastly easier to drug than water: any taste could be covered up by the right flavors.

“If you’re telling the truth, then why aren’t you looking at me?” That was new, so she ignored it. It was a mistake. Slowly, he reached his hand across, turning her head to face him. Caitlin could feel the slithering rake of his claws across her face, and her heart was speeding up now, because there was something so inhuman about those claws, and the way they sent a shiver down her spine. The touch was so alien, and every instinct she had was screaming at her to run. But she was chained here, and fighting wasn’t going to help. So she focused on keeping her breath steady, not allowing herself to react. _If you react when someone hurts you, you give them power over you,_ her school counselor had said during a particularly bad bout of bullying. His claws were lingeringly tracing the outline of her jaw, and she forced herself not to look at them, not to close her eyes. _When I got sick three years ago, right after we’d gotten engaged, Ronnie stayed with me while I slept, and let me hold him when the chills set in._

“You need to eat. Right now.” She didn’t even feel like answering, because it might break the illusion that she was safe and warm in Ronnie’s arms. Zoom reached for the tray at the bottom of her bed. _The first day Ronnie came to the lab, I thought he was like the jocks in high school--shallow and blustering. And he looked at me like we were the only two people in the world in on a joke, and I was scared because I’d heard those sorts of people--good-looking happy people like him--always moved on, and didn’t mean anything real or sincere._ The tray was balanced on Zoom’s knees. _Ronnie never gave in to anything._ Zoom held something to her mouth, but she turned her head away. _Ronnie and I saw Cisco trying to feed one of his latest girlfriends like that, because he’d seen it in a movie and thought it looked romantic, and Ronnie laughed, because didn’t Cisco know that she could feed herself, and what was the point of making her feel so debased she had to let him feed her like a dog or a baby?_ There the claws were on the side of her face. She wasn’t going to turn towards him. They were so light on her cheek, like a snake or a spider, but he was pressing harder, now, and she felt so powerless, and at last he succeeded in turning her towards him. Caitlin wished her hands were free, so she could hit him or do something similarly defiant, but now the claws were pinching her nose shut, and as she gasped for air he stuffed her mouth and wrenched her jaw closed, and she knew he’d won. _Ronnie had been like almost no one she’d ever seen before--tall, confident, good-natured, dispensing smiles left and right like he didn’t care about saving up his happiness, tossing jokes off gracefully and easily while he worked--_ Zoom’s hands were on her face again, and she couldn’t even see Ronnie’s eyes in her mind anymore.

When Zoom left with the empty tray, he took her handcuffs off, but she didn’t even feel like getting up. She laid there for a long while, trying to remember Ronnie--his face, his voice, anything. She knew, of course, that he had brown hair and a crooked smile, that his voice had been rich and vibrant without being low or deep. But she couldn’t see his face in her mind’s eye, or feel the touch of his skin. Zoom had taken that, and left her with the slow, inexorable march of claws across her skin, left his grinning death-mask face hovering over her like the afterimage of Ronnie’s bright light.

 _Snap out of it. You’ll remember again, and that’ll be something for you to work on the next time he chains you up._ So she tottered up unsteadily, trying not to trip over her high heels. _There was something I was going to do._ Her eyes felt heavy. _Even if he drugged me--would it act this fast?_ She needed to hurry and do whatever it w--the man in the mask. That was what she had to do. She had to break him out, or at least find him and learn to communicate with him. There was a sort of half-lab arranged in a corner. Caitlin scrounged around and found an adrenaline shot, which she gave herself. _I’m probably just tired from not sleeping._ She could hear the tapping starting up now that Zoom was gone, and she followed the noise. She had a major migraine coming on, probably from getting up after lying down for so long. Her legs were wobbly after so much time spent unused.

He was there when she rounded the corner, the only prisoner in a room with several cages. He had been tapping while slumped back, like it was just something he did now with little hope of it helping. She supposed that being imprisoned in a glass cube would require one to seek out some sort of pastime. When he saw her, he scrambled to his feet and began to tap quickly and desperately. She held up a hand to silence him. “We don’t have a lot of time. He’ll be back soon. Can we just do one tap for yes, two for no?”

Tap.

“Do you want to get out of here?”

Tap.

“If I get you out of your cell, do you think you can get out of here?”

Tap.

“Could you take me with you?”

Tap.

“Is there something in this cave that I can use to get you out of here?”

Tap.

“Is it in this room?”

Tap.

She spun around, looking for something, anything. There was not much in the room, except-- _hold on, those are jumper cables on the floor. If I could find a power source..._

She ran into Zoom’s lab and came out with several different batteries, as well as some compounds that could be reacted to release some energy.

“Will this get you out?”

Tap.

Caitlin’s only knowledge of engineering came from the intro course in college and observing Cisco. But she did know that adding heat to a substance would weaken it by making its molecules move faster. Hoping Zoom didn’t come back until she was done, Caitlin hooked up the cables, crossing her fingers that she’d gotten the polarity right. It took three tries before he was able to smash the carbine.

“Okay, let’s get out of here.”

He gestured to the mask.

“That’s dampening your powers?” A nod.

It took several minutes for Caitlin to find a screwdriver. Finally, she managed to get the mask off. “You’re--you’re--”

He chuckled. “The Flash? Jay Garrick? A speedster?”

She swallowed. _You’re Barry’s dad._ “No, I just thought you were--someone else, for a second. Anyway, he’s going to be back soon. Do you think we can get out? There might be a breach we can use somewhere.”

“What Earth are you from?” It was nice to have some sort of human companionship. Talking to someone other than Zoom made her feel--safe. He seemed...normal enough. Caitlin didn’t have a choice but to trust him.

“Earth-1.”

He grinned. “Never been. Let’s get somewhere safer and then we can talk. You been carried before?”

She nodded, thinking of the nightmarish ride to her captivity, the blue lightning crackling around her: with luck, that might be over, soon. “The Flash was one of my best friends.”

Jay Garrick-- _it feels so weird to say that_ \--picked her up and took off, down the cliff and away from the cave.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time: Harry problem-solves, and Caitlin faces an interrogation.
> 
> I take no responsibility for the fact that Hunter is a deluded psychopath. He totally is. But he's still fun to write (and I feel sort of bad for him.)
> 
> My bets for the prophecy: Cisco betrays them, HR dies (because let's face it, he is totally replaceable). No clue who's going to "suffer a fate worse than death" (Barry, Caitlin, or Wally probably...Barry because they like martyring him, in which case the fate worse than death will be highly reversible, Caitlin because Killer Frost, and Wally because I think they said they wouldn't have multiple good-guy speedsters on the show long-term. Hey, maybe Wally will betray them and/or die.)


	43. Harry, Caitlin

_**Harry** _

_There isn’t a cure for being a metahuman._ The words were on the tip of his tongue, waiting to roll out. He wondered how long it was before his captor would notice he’d spent the last three hours diluting and titrating a solution over and over again. He’d seen the others briefly when they arrived to get him out. Without Allen’s speed, that was a fairly hopeless venture, and the rescue party was now probably nursing internal injuries. 

It would be so easy to just tell the truth to this boy who thought that there was a cure. But Wells couldn’t risk it, because at any moment, Griffin Grey could bash his head in. Wells wasn’t about to trust an eighteen-year old to keep his temper under control, no matter how old he looked. He had to think of something fast.

How could Allen get his speed back? There was Velocity, but the side effects were dangerous, and nobody at the lab but himself and Snow knew how to make it. There was the possibility of somehow forcing Zoom to give up his speed, but there wasn’t anything Zoom cared about enough to do that for. If Snow could escape, then she might have a way to restore Allen’s speed, but that seemed unlikely.

“Do you think I’m stupid?”

 _Oh no._ “Sorry, what?”

“I was a high school student. I know what it looks like when you dilute a solution over and over again. It was how I got my chemistry participation points.”

 _I’m going to die._ “There isn’t a cure. The process is irreversible. Grief and disbelief was slowly spilling onto Grey’s face. Wells closed his eyes as he was grabbed violently by the collar. _We’ll all be together, Tess. You and me and Jesse. I love you so much--_

“Leave him alone!” _Jesse?_

Wells was dropped suddenly to the ground. The impact jolted him, but he didn’t seem to have broken anything. “Stay out of it, miss, and I won’t hurt you. Now run along home to your family.”

Jesse’s voice was low but steady. “He is my family. Let him go, and come back to STAR Labs. There’s inhibitor technology there that we could adapt for you. It won’t repair the cell damage, but it will stop your powers from manifesting.”

Grey scoffed. “Stay this way for the rest of my life? I don’t think so. You can’t stop me from doing anything. You’re not strong enough.”

Jesse’s answering laugh was clear and brave. “I am strong enough to stop you. So please, just don’t do this. Save yourself.” _She’s so much like Tess._

_There is no cure for being a meta--the accelerator changes you. She’s a hero, now.  
_

_That’s the solution! Allen won’t like it, but the only way out is through..._

He heard Jesse’s voice over the clanging of the fight. “Please, Griffin, stop. There’s still a chance to fix this. You can live--everyone can walk out of here alive! Just let me save you, please!”

Bitter laughter. “You? Save me? You got lucky--all the power, none of the caveats, murderer’s spawn! I don’t want a life in a retirement home--I would rather be dead!”

“You don’t want to be dead. And I’m not a murderer’s daughter. The rest of your life is what you do with it. You made the choice to give up each year, but please, _please_ save a few for yourself.”

“Fine. You’re right. I’ll do what I want with the rest of my life--but I’d rather have _revenge_ than life in a walker, thanks!”

“Harry, run!” Jesse screamed, realizing he hadn’t left yet. 

Everything happened quickly, yet also in slow motion, like the second it takes for a plate to fall and crack on the floor.

Griffin Grey lunged at Wells.

Wells backed away as far as he could.

Jesse made a spring for Grey’s legs.

Grey wrinkled up, and his lungs began to wheeze like an old accordion.

Jesse held him as she began to cry. “Please, hold on, I’ll save you, I promise.”

“You can’t save anyone, murder-brat.” Grey chuckled and died. 

Wells crawled over to Jesse. “Hey--hey--it’s okay.”

Her face was red, but he didn't know if it was from crying or fighting. “He’s right. I can’t save anyone--because who could _his_ daughter save? How could I ever imagine the Reverse-Flash's daughter could be a _hero_? I couldn’t save him, or Eliza--”

Wells stroked her hair. “You saved me.” She sniffled deprecatingly into his shoulder. “Look--Jess, powers aren’t a gift or a curse, they’re a choice. You can’t change Eliza’s mind, or Grey’s. But you saved everyone they might have hurt with their powers. So what if you are Eobard Thawne’s daughter? You’re also Tess Morgan’s daughter, and let me tell you, Jesse--that makes you hero material.”

“I’m not sure I want to be a hero, if this is what it’s like.”

“You can make your life into anything you want it to be. But Griffin Grey? He at least deserved someone to try and save him.”

“I’ll keep going," she said, with the heaviness of someone much older. "Thanks, Harry.”

She got up, straightening her clothes. “Jesse?”

“Yeah?”

“Your mom would have been proud today.”

When Jesse smiled, even just a weak half-smile, she was every inch Tess’s daughter.

* * *

**_ Caitlin _ **

Jay couldn’t make it any further. The speed dampener had taken a lot out of him, he hadn’t used his legs in months, he was malnourished, and carrying Caitlin tired him out. When Zoom found them gone, they would be recaptured, possibly even killed. Neither of them was trying to deny that reality. They’d settled down with their backs against a log, having drunk their fill of fresh water from a nearby spring, to try and pass the time until they were found. 

“So--what Earth are you from?” 

He squinted into the darkness. “You’d call it Earth-3. We got our accelerator explosion about twenty years earlier than most other Earths. I was getting about ready to retire when Zoom showed up on my Earth. Long, drawn-out battle, but he got me to turn myself in for my wife. My parents were divorced when I was young, see, and I lived with my mom for years. When she died, Christina became everything to me. The center of my multiverse.”

 _Not Nora. Christina._ “Christina was your wife’s name?”

Jay pursed his lips and nodded, looking out through the trees as if through a curtain of years, staring at something only he could see. “He killed her in front of me.”

“I’m sorry.” It wasn’t pity, and she hoped he’d accept it.

Jay turned to meet her eyes with understanding. “Thank you. I heard him talking to you--something about being in love with him. If you don’t mind me asking, how’d you end up here?”

She swallowed. “I lost my husband in an--accident. A singularity caused by time travel. Zoom showed up under an alias--your name in fact--and joined our team. He said he was the Earth-2 Flash, who had lost his speed in a fight with Zoom. He’d spent so much time pretending to be a hero on Earth-2 that one of our other allies from there was able to confirm his story. Anyway--he got close to all of us. The plan was to train Barry to get more speed, then harvest it. But along the way, he thinks he fell in love with me.”

“I’m sorry, kid. Listen--your Flash’ll come for you, even if Zoom gets us again.”

She shook her head. “Zoom got Barry’s speed just before he took me. He’s just waiting before he makes his move against my Earth.”

They relapsed into silence, waiting to hear the lightning, smell the burning. Caitlin turned over escape possibilities desperately. _Not much time now..._ An idea flitted through her mind, more of an idle thought than anything else. “Jay? Do you think that if it was just you, you could make a breach, or find somewhere to hide out, or something?”

He shook his head. “I wouldn’t leave a cactus in his possession, much less someone he’s in love with.”

That wasn’t an answer. “Jay--listen. If you're not carrying me, you might be able to regenerate enough Speed Force to create a spontaneous breach. Barry did it once. Go to Earth-1, and take Barry and his team a message from me. I’ll keep Zoom occupied so he doesn’t go after you immediately. He’s more likely to kill you than me. If one of us gets out, we accomplished something. If we both get taken, this whole business was a waste.”

He turned towards her. “Are you sure you’re going to be okay?” She nodded, although the prospect of going back to Zoom made her recoil painfully, made her feel the ghost of his claws on her face, feather-light...

Jay shook her gently by the shoulders. “Caitlin--snap out of it. If this is going to work, I need you to tell me your message.”

She hadn’t given much thought to what she’d say to Barry and the team. “Tell them--um, say that I’m well, that he isn’t hurting me, that I hope they can come get me soon. And--here’s the important bit. Say that I thought about it, and the best solution I can see is to mimic the accelerator explosion in a controlled environment on a limited basis--but they have to be absolutely sure the dark matter will be contained, or else it won’t work. Give the message to Cisco Ramon--he’s the head of Engineering at STAR Labs. Listen--um, we know your doppelgänger from our Earth, so people might stare at you weirdly--”

Jay grinned. “Never mind that--it’s something you get used to with inter-Earth travel. How do I convince them that it’s from you and I didn’t just make it up?” _How did people do that in movies?_ “Um, here--take my necklace.”

He shook his head. “Zoom will notice that it’s gone, and it’s not really the sort of thing you could have conceivably dropped.”

Before Caitlin could think better of it, she pulled off her ring. _I’m sorry, Ronnie, but I have to do this. It’s to save everyone, love._ “Take this. I’ll pretend I dropped it, and I honestly think he’ll just be glad it’s gone.”

Jay hesitated. “Your team’s going to think I took it off your dead body.”

“Give it to Cisco Ramon, and only to Cisco Ramon. Tell him that I gave it to you, and if he says you took it off my body, say, _“She still lives.”_ The exact wording is important. If he still doesn’t believe you, tell him to see what sort of vibe things have where I’m at. He’ll understand.” Jay took the ring quietly. “You should go.”

“I’ll wait with you. The more I rest up, the better chance I’ll have of making it without collapsing. You know--this is very brave of you.”

“Thanks. Just deliver the message if you can. It’ll help.” There was a silence again.

Caitlin was almost dozing when Zoom came, but she smelled the burning far off. Jay squeezed her arm, whispered “Good luck,” and was gone.

He was dressed as Zoom, still. Caitlin rose to face him head-on, squaring her shoulders and thrusting up her chin as he walked slowly towards her, hemming her in, cornering her like a trapped rat, coming closer and closer, blocking out the light of the moon. Caitlin had to force herself to stand her ground and look straight at him, instead of curling up, making herself as small as possible. _I am not afraid, I am not afraid..._

“Caitlin! What happened?” He spoke quietly, and his modulator was out. Her posture was useless--no matter how she stood, she knew he could see the fear on her face. _What do I say?_ He pulled off his mask, gripping her by the arm hard enough to bruise as he pulled her down to sit with him on the log. Caitlin didn’t fight him. “Talk to me, Cait! What happened?”

She drew a shaky breath. “I let him out. He told me he could take me home, and then he just left me here. I’ve been waiting for hours.” Hunter’s face was unreadable.

“Alright, I believe you. Come on, let’s get you home.” But he stopped her, grabbing her left hand and staring at it as she looped her arms around his neck to be carried. “Caitlin--what happened to your ring?”

“I lost it while we were running,” she lied. 

He frowned. “Cait--don’t lie to me.” Zoom pulled her other arm off his shoulder and held her at arm’s length, studying her. _He’s going to hit me._ He walked towards her, stopping about a foot away. “Caitlin--look in my eyes so I can see if you’re telling the truth.” She obliged, meeting his gaze as steadily as she could. “Cait--I need you to trust me now. If you move an inch, you’re going to die. Whatever happens--don’t move. Just keep looking at me.” His eyes, locked in hers, were solemn. 

There was a strange pressure on her chest, like her breath had gotten caught. It was harder to breathe now, and she could feel her pulse pounding wildly in her temples. “Shhhh--take deep breaths, Cait. I just need to hear something. This isn’t going to hurt. Look at me...”  
 _He’s going to kill me. He’s phased into my chest, and he’s going to kill me, and that’ll be the end._ “Please, don’t.”

With a gloved hand, he reached up to stroke her hair. “Shhh. I’m not going to hurt you. Just--shhhh--trust me. Relax. Now, tell me again what happened to your ring.” _He’s listening to my heart to see if I’m lying._ But she was long used to his presence, long accustomed to being afraid of him. He didn’t have the power to make her heart pound anymore.

“I lost it. It must have fallen off--Ronnie got it a little bit big, because he said my hands were so small that I’d want something I could grow into.”

He nodded. “Alright, Caitlin. I believe you. Relax. See? It wasn’t so bad. You can trust me. I didn’t hurt you.”

But she could feel the pressure of his hand, and the message she heard behind his words was, “I can do this to you whenever I want, and you’ll never know whether I‘m going to kill you. You are powerless here.” 

“Let me go, please.” 

He ignored her. “You know, I used to listen to your heart while you slept. I would sneak upstairs after I heard you fall asleep, and just hold it, feel it.” _If I step away from him, I die. If I run, I die._ He was so close now he might be about to kiss her. “I love you, Caitlin. We’re meant for each other.” But all she heard was Zoom’s sibilant whisper. _You are mine, you are mine, you won’t ever escape me, because you are mine, mine, all mine._ Softly, he withdrew his hand from her chest. “I’m glad you weren’t lying, Cait.” 

_Please, someone--come soon._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time: Jesse catches up with a friend, and Cisco gets the message.
> 
> So I am very sure I fudged science in the Zoom-Caitlin scene. I just liked the Daredevil idea of heartbeat as a lie detector and thought that would be a cool (and awful) use of Zoom's powers.
> 
> I totally totally headcanon that Barry does not exist on Earth-3 because Jay married Tina McGee. Make of it what you will!
> 
> I am updating the archive warnings for a major character death, not because someone's dying very soon, but because I have finally decided to kill a character whose fate I had been on the fence about. Feel free to speculate, but I'm not telling :)


	44. Jesse, Cisco, Hunter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the first time, I'm issuing a trigger warning. These may start becoming a more regular thing. This week: trigger warning for use of a truth drug during an interrogation.

_**Jesse** _

Jesse knocked on the door of the West house right after she dropped Harry back at the lab. Iris opened it, looking surprised to see her. “Hey, Jesse! I thought you were still in Opal!”

“I was, but I came back to help save Harry. Um, Iris--is Wally home?”

Iris grinned knowingly. “You’re just in time. He was just about to visit Joe at the station, but I’m pretty sure he’d rather talk to you. Tell you what--I won’t even chaperone you two. If you break my little brother’s heart, I’ll kill you, though, so don’t pull anything. His room’s upstairs, first door on the left.”

Jesse thanked Iris and made her way upstairs, knocking on Wally’s door. “Out in a sec, Iris. You’re not my mom, anyway.”

“It’s Jesse.” There was a silence, followed by footsteps. Wally opened the door and stood in the doorway, glowering at her. 

“Hi. Thought you moved.” He crossed his legs self-consciously, leaning against the doorframe.

“Family emergency.”

“Oh.”

_Well, this is awkward._ “You never emailed me back, so I thought I’d drop by and see how things are going. Are you mad about the phone message?”

“Yeah. Not at you, though. I get it. Not your secret to spill, yadda yadda. You don’t have to start.”

“If they don’t know you know, we shouldn’t talk about it too much on the stairs.” She barged past Wally into his room, situating herself on the bed. “Look, don’t blame Barry. Literally everybody on his team has pretty much known from the beginning or found out on their own. Would you rather have him be your irresponsible, cowardly jerk of an adopted brother who keeps flaking out on your family for no particular reason, or a guy who puts his life on the line every day, let you think he was a coward because your family wanted to protect you, and is sometimes late for dinner?”

Wally was implacable. “I want someone who is honest.”

Jesse tried again, frustration creeping into her voice. “Wally, I am totally not Barry’s biggest fan, but he saved your life, at great cost. Maybe, try and do something more with that than sit and complain about him. I would be very, _very_ thankful to Barry, if I were you, because not everyone would give up their ability to save everyone in order to save a single person. You owe him, so the least you can do is try and make something good out of your life, instead of getting all bitter because no one trusted you. Don’t be so immature, Wall.”

His face darkened. “You done yet? Or are you also auditioning to be my new mom?”

“I’m done, but you better have heard what I said.”

“I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt, but he damn well better tell me on his own soon. Can you go? I’m busy.”

Jesse left.

* * *

**_ Cisco _ **

Cisco thought he was dreaming when he saw the lightning flicker weakly through the door.

“Barry?”

A voice spoke from behind him. “Not quite. Listen, I have a message. I’m supposed to deliver it directly to someone named Cisco Ramon, and only to him. Can you tell me where I can find him?”

Cisco turned around, to find himself looking at-- _Henry Allen_ , out of breath, in a tattered prison jumpsuit. This day was getting so weird... _cut it out and stop gaping, Cisco, it’s rude._ “Um, I’m Cisco Ramon. Who’s the message from, and--who are you?”

“I’m Jay Garrick.” Cisco began to laugh hysterically, too high, too loud, and for too long. He leaned his head back against the computer, cackling with bitter mirth.

“That’s a good one.”

“You mean my name? I’m glad you like it. The message is from a Dr. Caitlin Snow.”

It felt like an icy hand was gripping his stomach. _Breathe, dude._ “Yeah?” He’d wanted to sound challenging, defiant even, but it came out more like a whimper. 

“She says to tell you that she’s alive, that he’s not hurting her, that she hopes your team can come get her soon, and that the best solution she can see after thinking about it is to mimic the accelerator explosion in a controlled environment, on a limited basis. She was very particular about controlling the environment so the dark matter doesn’t escape. That message was for your team in general. But she wanted me to give you this in person.” His hand held out Caitlin’s wedding ring. _Oh no, why would she take that off she would never take that off as long as she lived did he kill her did this guy kill her oh no--_

“She said that if you were worried that she was dead, I should say, “ _She still lives._ ”"

Cisco felt himself go weak at the knees. _Cait. Alive. Okay._ “Those were the exact words?”

“Yes. She wanted to be sure I got it right. Some kind of secret handshake?”

“Sort of,” Cisco gasped, his throat dry. 

“She said if you still didn’t believe me, you should see what kind of vibe things have where she’s at.”

Cisco blinked. “I’ll do that later. For now, why don’t you tell me everything--how did you run into her? What happened?” _Is Caitlin okay?_ But Jay wasn’t really listening: he was staring at Jesse Thawne, who was accepting a big pot of soup from Tina McGee, who had come to help patch up Jesse’s injuries. “Jay? Earth to Jay. Dude, you hear me?” Jay’s head snapped back, a look of regret on his face. 

“Who’s that over there?”

“Jesse Thawne.” _Why does this dude care?_

Jay seemed confused. “Which one’s that?”

“College age, black costume. White lab coat is Tina McGee.”

“Tina,” whispered Jay Garrick contemplatively.

* * *

_** Hunter ** _

God, she was gorgeous. Even now, as she glared at him, eyes standing out like dark smudges under her brows. He remembered standing there, holding her heart, feeling her quieting at his touch, the little soft sigh she’d given, the way she had been utterly, tremulously still, the trust he had seen mingled with fear in her eyes, the gentle thrum of her heart in his hand, his to control. The power she had let him have over her, unquestioningly. She was like a fierce peregrine, waiting patiently as her falconer hooded her for the night.

But this wasn’t working. She had loved him when she thought they were the same; when she realized he was different than her, she had rejected him. She had to see that they were still equals in all ways. It would be idiotic of him to keep on trying the same things over and over, hoping for something to change. Besides, if something didn’t change, this couldn’t continue. Surveying her closely, watching her flinch from his eyes, then meet his gaze defiantly, he noticed that she’d lost weight. Her eyes were bloodshot, and he didn’t think she even slept when he left her alone, now. There was a flush in her cheeks that either meant dehydration or some sort of illness. And she had tried to leave. There was something wrong. He was doing something wrong, and it was hurting Caitlin. He had tried to think about what he might be able to do differently, but he had only had one idea-- _try to show her that there is hope for this, for us. Show her that I have a light and she has a darkness, that we complement each other, each drawing out the other’s best._ He realized now it had been too much strain on Caitlin to ask her to be his light, the only good thing in his life. No human being could thrive as a symbol of perfection, and it would be a horribly one-sided relationship. She would give everything to him and get nothing back in return. It was far better to be equals.

He’d hinted as much to her, and she’d laughed in his face, the laughter turning into a string of coughs that wracked her thin frame like sobs. When he tried to hold her hand and ease the shaking, she’d tried to break his hold on her wrist from the elbow, just like he’d taught her. “I’m nothing like you,” she’d snapped. “You’re a monster.” 

He was working to counteract that, but he needed Caitlin to recover, to improve. Something he was doing was wrong. So he’d finally asked her what she wanted, and she’d relaxed into his arms, closing her eyes. “I want to go home,” she’d said, wistfully.

So they were at the police station now, and she was chained to a desk. He wanted to give her more freedom, but with Barry and the team so close by, it wasn’t practical. All the lights were out, because he hated the hum of the electrical generator. 

It was a good move to spare those policemen. He’d shown her that he could have mercy, displayed with an act all the good she could accomplish by staying. It had given her enough hope to plead for her release, but he forced himself not to listen as she begged, because if he let her go, she’d never come back. He’d shown her his light; now he had to show Caitlin her own darkness. She looked at him with wide eyes. The terror in them made him almost wince, but he knew he had to do this. 

The first thing that had to go was her belief that she was loyal to the team. As long as she still thought she’d never betray them, Caitlin would always push him away. She must have seen something dangerous in his face, because she scooted back as he approached.

“Whatever you’re going to do,” she breathed, terror stamped across her features, “don’t.” He sat down next to her, reaching his arms out, pulling her to him, cradling her head on his chest, smoothing down her hair, whispering softly to her, trying to calm her. _I’m sorry, love. Forgive me._ Her face was nuzzled in his coat, and he wrapped her arm around him, patting her softly, trying to keep her from seeing or feeling the injection in the crease of her chained elbow. It shouldn’t have hurt at all--he’d slipped the needle in softly, effortlessly. But Caitlin was a doctor, and she felt it, scrambling back from him like she’d been burned. “What was that?” she demanded, her voice trembling violently.

_This will fix things, love._ “Sodium thiopental,” he said coolly, watching her eyes bulge as she absorbed the implication. A truth drug, a fast-acting barbiturate, which would suppress her higher cognitive functions while making her talkative and cooperative. It took more brainpower to lie than to tell the truth--Caitlin might try to think up a plausible falsehood, but details would evade her, and she’d be forced to fall back into confessing anything he asked her. She pursed her lips, as if to lock her secrets up. Hunter crouched down, almost level with her, eye to eye. Gradually, her defiant gaze melted the barest fraction as the drug took effect. She relaxed, as if she couldn’t remember why she’d been tense and afraid.

“Caitlin.”

“That’s my name.”

He resisted the urge to smile. They didn’t have a lot of time, and the drug would wear off soon. “What did you tell Jay to tell the team?”

“Huh? I know this, just--give me a sec. I need to think of something to say.”

“How about the truth, Cait.” His tone was dangerous.

“Um, right, the truth.” She rattled it off glibly. “That I was well, and you weren’t hurting me, that I hoped the team would come for me, and that the best solution was to mimic the accelerator explosion on a limited basis in a controlled environment.”

He had about thirty seconds before the drug would be past peak efficiency. “Who’s the most vulnerable team member? I need to protect them.” She seemed confused, but he snapped his fingers in front of her face. “Come on, Cait.”

“Cisco. He’s all alone.”

“What is Cisco most afraid of?”

That one was easy for her. “Reverb.”

“If you were going to hurt Cisco, how would you do it?”

“Reverb’s dead, so that’s out. But I’d hurt Cisco’s brother Dante. Cisco’s closer to him than to the rest of his family, and hurting Dante worked well for Captain Cold. You could lure Dante in using a girl--he likes to hit on random women--and when you get him, target his hands and feet, because he plays piano. Cisco wants to be recognized by his parents, though, so using them would also work. Especially his mom, who he really loves, even though she thinks he’s a failure. Cisco would do anything to prove to his parents that he was brave--torture, death, anything. And doing it would hurt him. I know a guy named Oliver Queen who had to choose whether his mom or his sister would die…”

She trailed off, a look of abject horror dawning on her face. He chuckled. “Well, you certainly think things through. You know, I underestimated you, Cait. I didn’t think you’d even think about things like that. Do you have a plan to take down Barry? Because if the Cisco one’s anything to go by, you could have defeated him already. You’re magnificent, Cait.”

Caitlin strained at her chain. “Don’t do it, please, it won’t work, I just came up with it on the spot--”

“Sodium thiopental dulls higher cognitive functions. You couldn’t come up with anything new, just recite things you’d already thought about subconsciously. And it wore off fifteen seconds before you stopped talking.” 

He left her to think about that. _I’m so sorry, love, but change hurts. I have to hurt you, even break you, so I can remake you, because otherwise this will never work. It hurts so much now, and I know, but this is your electric chair, Cait. This is your lightning strike, and everything will turn out in the end._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, boy. Here goes.
> 
> Obviously, Hunter is not a reliable narrator. What he did in this chapter was not okay, his perceptions of Caitlin and their relationship are inaccurate, and this is the beginning of a long slow slide to the darker side of the Dark Side.
> 
> Caitlin's a logical person, and there is no way she hasn't at least thought about contingency plans for her teammates. But I still felt horrible writing this.
> 
> Fun fact: not only is sodium thiopental a real drug, it's also the drug that Ivo used on Oliver in Season 2 of Arrow. It works just like Hunter said it does, but contrary to popular belief (well, contrary to Sara Lance, actually), it can not be neutralized by magical Lian Yu herbs and berries ground up in a mortar and pestle.
> 
> Next time: Cisco has brother issues, and Caitlin and Hunter have a romantic dinner date.


	45. Cisco, Caitlin, Harry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, as of this morning, I have finished all of the pre-writing for this fic! (It's clocking in at roughly fifteen more extra-length chapters.) I would love to get it all posted asap, so I am speeding up my posts to every other day and lengthening my chapters! Basically, this is a heads-up so nobody gets confused by the schedule change. :D

_**Cisco**_  

 _How am I going to keep Dante from figuring out all the crazy secrets in my life?_ Of course, the one time he and his brother were in the same spot just _had_ to be crashed by some freaky scythe-wielding guy, who worked for Zoom, and was _Dante’s doppelgänger_ , and thought Cisco had killed his brother. _Reverb_. Rupture was going to kill Cisco, and Dante had seen the whole thing, and now he was in the lab, fingering Cisco’s goggles, and asking prying questions.

“So--heard your girlfriend got kidnapped. Why hasn’t your Flash saved her yet?”

“Cait’s not my girlfriend. Don’t touch that--it’s a highly sensitive piece of technology, and you’re going to mess up the calibration,” Cisco snapped viciously.

“So what is it? Swim goggles? Sunglasses? What does it do?”

“Dante, just stay away. I’m _really_ busy, and like you circa fifth grade, I don’t have time to babysit. The world as we know it might end tonight, so can you take the stupid somewhere else?” His brother began to walk out. “Look, Dante, I didn’t mean that! Listen--”

“You’re the one who wanted to get together tonight! This is your fault, Cisco! Because of you, I can’t ever be enough. I do physical therapy, everything, but now my reaction times are only just _okay_. I can’t move as fast, I can’t stretch as far. I might be a good pianist still, but I’m never going to be great! And now we’re all going to die, and you’re still doing this? Flaunting how _smart_ you are, how--”

“Just go away, all right? Go ask Iris for something to do.” Cisco was too tired to snap, and he felt his head beginning to ache.

“What does it mean if Zoom’s taken the police station? Can’t the Flash stop him?”

“I don’t know, okay? I am very scared right now, because Zoom is about twenty times more dangerous than Captain Cold, and he has Caitlin locked up, and she just put her life in danger by texting us that there’s gonna be a--” Cisco stopped, realizing that he probably shouldn’t be telling Dante this. His voice was beginning to rise up again. Why couldn’t Dante stop?

“How does any of this take priority over your family? I have no clue what’s going on, Cisco, and you’ve barely spoken to me since we got attacked!”

Cisco was going to lose it, and then everything would be ruined. _Don’t blast him, Cisco._ “They’re my family! We’ve all saved each other's lives, Dante! And they’ve been there through it all! After I sacrificed everything to get you away from Snart, after I almost gave up the only two relationships that matter in my life to save you--you ran away!” He was shouting now, and he could feel the dark tide coming. _Don’t lose it, Cisco._

Dante walked out. “Fine, Paco. Save the world. I’m going to stay, because they told me I have to for now, but I am going to leave the instant Rupture is dead. Bye, Cisco.”

Iris passed him in the doorway. “Sounds rough.”

Cisco groaned. “It’s worse than it sounds.”

“You should tell him the truth.”

He laughed dryly and sarcastically. “How’s Wally been reacting to the truth lately?”

Iris nodded. “Um, responsibly whenever Joe’s watching? I see your point. Anyway, planning. Um, Barry and Joe and Harry are all trying to decide whether the accelerator recreation’s a good idea, and I think Jay’s going to put in his opinion when the shouting clears out a little, so it’s kind of you and me for now. Anyway--to-do list.”

“Um, stop Zoom. Save Cait. Get Barry’s speed back. Stop Rupture. Figure out a way to keep anybody else Zoom might be targeting safe. Except probably in reverse order.”

Iris squeezed his shoulder. “I’m sorry we can’t save Cait first. Jay might be able to get her out quickly--”

He didn’t want to talk about this. “Iris, it’s fine. I talked to Jay, but he said the whole station’s alarmed. If he got in, Zoom would come running, and Jay doesn’t think he could win that one. Plus, he’s not doing well--long-term speed dampener effects. So unless we get Cait back soon, he’s gonna lose his speed. Let’s look at the rest of the list.”

“We could lock Jesse and Wally in the vault.”

Cisco nodded. “I think the rest is probably Barry’s line of work. Iris--do you think there’s anything you can say? To convince him to do it?”

Iris looked speculative. “Sure. I think I know what I want to say to Barry.”

* * *

**_ Caitlin _ **

Caitlin drew back the next time Hunter entered. She pulled her arms behind her back, scanning her eyes over him. _Is it in his pocket? Where would Hunter hide a syringe?_

He was the first to speak. He always was. “Caitlin, is something wrong? You seem upset.”

“You drugged me. You injected me full of thiopental, and you really expect that I’m going to come racing into your arms? What sort of twisted mind do you have? You hurt me! Not like I didn’t expect it from you--”

Hunter seemed taken aback. “Caitlin, what brought this on? I haven’t done anything wrong.”

“You kidnapped me--” She spoke it flatly; it was a fact she had accepted long ago.

He squatted down as if he were speaking to a child. “--so that I could keep you safe. Caitlin, we went over this already.”

She drew back as far as she could, pulling her knees to her chest, pressing herself to the side of the desk, even though she knew it was useless. Hunter easily bridged the distance, vibrating her cuffs off. He held out an open hand in invitation. “C’mon. Let’s go out and get dinner.”

This was new. “I’m not going anywhere with you.”

Hunter smiled, almost sadly. “Cait, what did I do wrong?”

“If you don’t get it by now, I’m not going to tell you.”

He cocked his head to one side, as if changing the angle of his neck might help him unriddle her. “Cait--listen, I didn’t do it. I was going to do exactly what you said, but I couldn’t. I didn’t hurt Cisco or his family, because I care too much about you.”

The damn psychopath thought he could use puppy eyes on her.

“How do I know you’re not going to drug me again?”

He seemed indignant. “Cait--I had to know. Besides, you had to see yourself the way I see you…”

Zoom kept on talking, while Caitlin idly tried to imagine what Ronnie would think of this situation. He’d be furious by now, almost comically so, but Harry would talk him down, because there wasn’t any point to attacking Zoom. _Snow’s got it handled,_ Harry would say. _She’s our best source of intel right now._

 _Intel_. This was what she had always wanted--to be able to go in the field, just for a bit. Handling things herself instead of waiting behind the microphone, trying to explain to Barry what had to be done.

_Intel. I’m in the best position to get it. I can be useful for a change._

But she had to act in a way that wouldn’t make him suspicious of her. “Fine. Dinner it is. If I find out that you’re lying about Cisco being safe...”

He laughed, a real laugh. “I’m not lying, Cait. I’m done lying to you.”

Caitlin placed her hand in his, and closed her eyes. It was only a short run, she noticed. She estimated the restaurant at about three miles from the police station, which put it at just outside the city center.

He must have scared away all the other patrons, because the restaurant was empty. Ronnie had taken her here on the two-year anniversary of the day they’d met, she remembered dimly. They’d both put a good face on it, but she was fairly certain he’d agreed with her that sometimes fancy was too fancy.

 _Oh damn._ It was that same sort of appetizer--salad with soup in a shot glass. Ronnie hadn’t read the menu (it was one of those places where the restaurant changed the menu every night, so there was one appetizer, two entree options, and dessert). He hadn’t known the thick green liquid in the glass was split-pea soup, and he’d examined it critically, shrugged, and drizzled it on his strawberry-spinach salad before she could stop him.

Hunter was staring at it now, with a bemused expression that would have made her laugh three months ago. “It’s soup. You drink it.”

He seemed unconvinced. Caitlin steeled herself. _Take it for the team, Snow._ The brown-green liquid disappeared down her throat before she could have second thoughts. _Oh no--did he drug it?_ Caitlin choked halfway through the mouthful, but she forced herself to swallow the soup and keep it down.

 _I’ve got to eat, or he’s going to think I don’t trust him._  
“It’s fava bean purée, I think, or at least, that's what the menu said. It’s good.”

He tipped it back warily, wincing as the cold paste hit his mouth. Hunter made a bit of a face. "I'm going to kill the chef," he muttered. 

Trying not to look at him, Caitlin speared a bite of endive. “So,” she remarked conversationally, “what brought this on?”

“Hmmm?” Hunter was regarding the salad hesitantly, having placed his purée far away from himself as if he were worried it might attack him. Clearly, he was embarrassed by his failure to effectively deal with his meal.

“This. Why are you taking me out to dinner when the last time you saw me, you jabbed a syringe into my arm and interrogated me about how to torture my best friend?”

It took Hunter a little while to unstick his teeth from something which appeared to be a candied edible flower. “Caitlin--I realize this hasn’t exactly worked out the way I intended. I have to--I would like--to know what it’s going to take to make it up to you.”

_Start by letting me go. Then, siphon off your own speed and lock yourself in the pipeline. Next, stop being such an entitled jerk and start thinking about doing something good with your life. After that, start making everything up to your victims’ families. Screw that, how about you go back in time and save every single person you killed. Once you’ve done all that, we can talk about upgrading you from “Enemy” to “Acquaintance”._

“Jay, I don’t--what do you mean? I--”

He reached across the table and took her hand, nearly scorching his sleeve on an inconveniently placed tea light. “Cait--you’re the only person who never gave up on me, never betrayed me, never hurt me. I know, deep inside, you still believe in me, just a little, because you never stopped.” _Well, yeah, I stopped. I stopped believing in you the instant I realized that you were actually a crazy serial killer._

She took a sip of her wine, pacing herself carefully, because there wasn’t any hope for tonight if she got drunk. Somewhere, on an alternate Earth, Caitlin Snow had given in under his gaze, and was feeling guilty, telling him all about how she had betrayed him, and she was so sorry, but she’d texted on an evidence phone to warn the team, and could he ever forgive her? _Not me, not today._

“Jay, I wanted this to work, but you have to understand that my primary loyalty is to the team. I loved you, I did, I swear. But how can I stand by and let you kill my friends? You’re a murderer, Jay, and as much as I love you, that’s hard for me to cope with.” _No it isn’t. I know what I want, and it’s not what you’re thinking. We’re done. Now accept it._

“Caitlin, have you ever been angry? Not upset, or frustrated, or annoyed, but really, truly angry?”

She pretended to think. “Yes.” _I am angry--at you, right now._

“Imagine if you had the power to act on that. If you could line everyone who ever hurt you up in a row, and crush them to bits. Would you?”  _Yes_.

“I’d like to think I believe in second chances.”

He smiled, indulgently. “Eiling. If he was right here, unarmed, and you had a gun, would you shoot?”

“Yes.” That one was true, at any rate. He didn’t ask if she’d shoot him fatally, after all. Kneecapping the man who tortured Jesse, Stein, and Ronnie? She wouldn't hesitate.

“Now imagine there were more people who hurt you like that. Imagine if you could shoot Thawne.” Yes, she’d put a bullet through Thawne’s shoulder. No, his knee. It was funny how she still thought of him as paraplegic.

“I would.”

“Now what if there were even more people who hurt you like that? Would you hurt them back?”

She opted to just nod this time.

“And imagine you could fix it all. Imagine knowing that you could make everything better--everything that ever went wrong for you. Complete control over the entire multiverse. All of probability at your command.”

 _Intel_. “I think I see now. Thank you, Jay. That helps. Also--would you mind keeping me updated about what’s going on? I have no clue what’s happening to you when you leave, and I worry...”

Caitlin trailed off, suddenly becoming conscious that he still hadn’t removed his hand from hers, and that he’d somehow twined his leg around hers under the table, and that he seemed to be staring unblinkingly into her eyes, with what she imagined was supposed to be a tender expression. She leaned slightly backward and angled her face a little bit away, but he only approached faster, and she realized with a sudden shock that he didn't care whether she wanted to kiss him, he only cared that he wanted to kiss her. _Oh no--no, no, no, what the hell do I do--_

She was trying to figure out a polite way to disentangle herself when his phone beeped insistently. Hunter frowned and dug in his pocket. She peered around to see the screen, but he’d twisted away, and his shoulders were too large for her to see around. “Cait--I’m so sorry, but we’re going to have to talk another night. Rupture called in for backup--looks like they knew he was coming. Some sort of mobile text, according to the detection program.” He paused, briefly, examining her. “Love, are you alright? You’re white as a sheet!”

She swallowed. “I’m sorry, I just worry for you. It’s hard, not knowing if you’re going to come home.” _Oh no, am I laying it on too thick?_ Evidently not, if the concern on his face was any indication.

“Cait, I’m right here. I promise I’ll come for you. I always do, don’t I? I’m running a trace right now, and we’ll find who sent that message, OK?” _Why didn’t I just stay chained to that desk? No, I had to go and be all clever, didn’t I!_

“Jay, I’m still afraid.” For once, she was telling the absolute truth. 

* * *

**_ Harry _ **

“I’m not going in that vault!” Jesse yelled.

Harry sighed, clenching and unclenching his fists, trying to make her see reason. “Jesse, listen. Zoom’s targeted you before--”

She bulldozed right over him. “I’m not her! He targeted _her_! I have powers--”

He placed a hand on her arm. “So use them to protect Wally. If something goes wrong, you’re the last line of defense.”

Jesse scoffed. _Please Jess, let me keep you safe._ “Protecting Wally West? That’s literally all I’d be defending! At least let me protect something that matters!”

He tried a different approach. “Jesse, I thought you’d _want_ to hang out with Wally.”

She flung herself down on a chair dramatically. “Wally West is an ungrateful jerk.” _God, she is just like Tess._

“Want to talk about it?” he asked hopefully.

“Nope. Look, can I stay out here with you guys? Then if something goes wrong I can defend you.”

“Jesse, are you _scared_ of having to talk to Wally?” It was a childish tactic, but it might help.

She shook her head. “Nope.”

“The great Jesse Quick, frightened of a simple conversation with a _boy_ \--”

“Not true!” she exclaimed hotly.

“Listen, Jess--pretty much everyone is going to the stakeout tonight. Even if you were here, you’d only be defending me. And I’ve got to run backup for the team, which I can’t do with you and Wally squabbling. I can’t let you out and not Wally, because he’ll complain to Joe--please, Jess. Nobody’s doubting your bravery right now. Your powers just don’t really fit this situation. So you can be reckless, and die, thereby losing your chance to do anything important, or you can sit this one out and wait until things are more suited to your skill set.”

Even Jesse saw the logic of that. “Fine. I’ll bring my schoolwork and get it done in case I do decide to go back. Keep in touch, okay? We can text or something if Wally starts getting annoying.”

He hugged her, ruffling her hair. “See you soon, Jesse Quick.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time: Jesse and Wally face seven minutes (hours) in heaven (the Time Vault), Hunter confronts Caitlin, and Cisco faces his family.  
> Paco, according to Wikipedia, is one of Vibe's comic secret identities. So I thought it would be a fun nickname for Dante to call Cisco.  
> Of course, what Iris plans to say to Barry is that weird, awkward, "we're together everywhere else so maybe we should be together" love declaration. Not covering that here, for reasons.  
> Fun fact: Ronnie's mishap with the soup and salad actually happened to my mom once. I was performing at a fancy dinner, which meant that I and my family had to eat the food. Let's just say I am not exaggerating about fancy restaurants...the main course was two shrimp and a green papaya salad, all so spicy that I could barely taste anything for an hour. My mom dumped soup on her salad, and one of the people at our table was blind...so we had to talk him through the entire meal!! Maybe things would have worked out better for Hunter if he'd just taken her to Big Belly Burger...


	46. Jesse, Caitlin, Cisco

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a refresher on canon...Dante finds Cisco's letter that he wrote before he left for Earth-2 and learns that Cisco is a meta, which really helps their relationship.  
> The Caitlin section of this is fairly violent, so be forewarned...

**_ Jesse _ **

Wally and Jesse hadn’t spoken once in the three hours she’d spent so far in the vault. She had finished up all her homework for the next three weeks, and started in on remotely analyzing some of the data on Jay to see if she could figure out how to counteract the side effects of the speed dampener. She’d texted Harry three times, but he hadn’t written back much besides “Good for you, Jess. Keep on updating me.”

“I talked to him. Last night. He didn’t tell me, though.”

“Good for you," Jesse answered, clicking idly away at the simulation.

“Jess, I’m really sorry. I was just mad, because if Zoom kills us all, it’ll be my fault, because Barry could have stopped him if he hadn’t lost his speed.”

Jesse shook her head and went back to work. “Barry couldn't have.”

Wally pulled the laptop away from her. “Jess, I’m sorry I got mad at you. Don't you know how--what do you call it when you just want to hurt someone, and you just go at the most convenient target?”

“I think that Yoda would call that feeling “ _the pull of the dark side_ ,” but the Arrow tells me it’s more commonly known as “ _saving the city._ ”

Wally began to chuckle. Jesse frowned. It wasn’t even that funny. But then he saw her frown and it made him laugh harder, and she realized that it was sort of funny, actually, until pretty soon they’d laughed themselves into stitches.

When things died down, Jesse went back to work. “So, you gonna move back, or not?” he asked, with an air of nonchalance.

“I don’t know. I haven’t worked it out with Harry and Barry yet.”

Wally snorted. “They sound like a comedy duo. Their names even rhyme. Hey, Jess?”

He leaned over, as though he were going to ask her something important. Jesse leaned into his touch, sinking slightly into his side.

His lips brushed her ears. “Do you know where the bathroom is in here?”

The laughter lasted even longer that time.

* * *

**_ Caitlin _ **

She’d watched it all on the TV. An entire room, slaughtered, brutally and efficiently. Parents missing children, children missing parents, husbands missing wives, women missing boyfriends, men missing girlfriends, wives missing  _husbands_. And it was her fault-- _if I’d been more detailed in the text message, if I’d distracted him, if, if, if only_ \--and he was coming back now. He was going to ask if she was pleased with him for saving Barry and Joe. And then he was going to get down to the business of the text message.

She heard his footfalls, loudly in the stillness. He was walking through the front hall. He’d paused. _Now he’s coming in here._ She eyed him warily as he took his mask off, flinging it on a desktop. Now he was coming towards her. He was about a foot away now, crouching down, and--

Caitlin barely knew why she attacked him, but she knew she couldn’t sit quietly and let him hurt her. When he was close enough she sent a vicious jab with her free right hand, aiming to gouge out a chunk of his eye. He seemed startled, and it almost hit him, but his hand speeded over to catch hers a fraction of an inch from his face. He stared at it, almost in disbelief, for a few seconds. She kicked at his knee as hard as she could--the move lacked power, due to her uncomfortable stance, but it was enough to make him drop her hand to block her foot. 

Before Caitlin could second-guess herself, she jabbed quickly at his other eye, feeling her fingers sink into his sclera. He screeched involuntarily as he sped back from her, and the sound was torture. _Have my ears become over-sensitized from spending so long in quiet places?_ Several feet away, Zoom looked at her wildly, his crazed eyes locked on her terrified ones. She didn’t think she’d managed any permanent damage to his eye, but it probably still hurt more than most injuries. He had gritted his teeth now, and she was waiting for him to kill her. _His MO is murder after a perceived betrayal. I should have known he’d kill me for that text._ Probably he would kill her for attacking him, even if he wouldn’t have over the text, but it had felt good to do it. Maybe, if she’d thought about it, she wouldn’t have done it, but she was glad she had, because she wanted to go out on a high note if she had to go. _Iris, Jesse, Joe, Wells--bye, I guess. Barry, kick his butt for me._ Zoom had her by the throat, throttling her. _Mom, I’m sorry I never tried to find you again._ He’d shifted his grip so it was just the one hand. _There are so many people: Stein, Mrs. Raymond, Grandmother, Dr. McGee.  
_

 _Cisco--I’m gonna miss you. I hope you’re happy._ If she closed her eyes, they were all there with her. _Ronnie--Dad--I don’t want to feel it ending--_

Caitlin’s head hit the wall with a violent crack. _He must have decided not to kill me and punched me instead_. She opened her eyes, and immediately closed them again. Caitlin had never liked seeing stars. _Am I concussed?_ But she shot out blindly with her foot along the ground, because she wasn’t going to let him think that hitting her once made her give up. She was sick and tired of being kidnapped and tortured, and she was going to fight back. _It’s funny to think that I never really fought back before. If you give a girl self-defense lessons...well, she’ll use them against you._

He felled her almost to the ground with a single powerful hit, and she was the one who cried out now, because her ears were throbbing and ringing painfully now, and she was worried that it might be a symptom of something. She didn’t know what it was a symptom of, because she couldn’t collect her thoughts. It was like trying to listen to the beeping from a monitor while Cisco was blasting pop music at top volume. He kicked her once, roughly, and she struggled, trying to leverage her chained arm so she could sit up. But he kicked her again, and this time he barely missed her stomach. _Vital organs are the most vulnerable targets for kicks._ Maybe if she let him hit something that seemed dangerous, he’d bring her to a hospital _...?_ She doubted it. Caitlin tucked herself into a fetal position, trying not to sob as his blows savagely drummed down on her. Eventually, the individual jolts of pain became indistinguishable.

_Ronnie’s holding my hand. We’re sitting underneath a plum tree, and I’ve got my head on his shoulder, and our kids are off playing tag. We’ve opened up an independent lab together, and all our friends drop in and out. We swap days staying at home, or sometimes we bring the kids to the lab when we want to work together. I’ve cured MS. Sometimes he wakes up with nightmares about Eiling, but he always goes back to sleep. And now he’s playing with my hair, and we’re laughing about something funny Cisco did. And my dad’s here, and he says, “Son, you need to go, she has to go back and face it alone.” And Ronnie gets up, squeezing my hand, and I beg, saying no, please don’t go, don’t leave me, Ronnie, I need you to deal with the pain, please.  
_

_His signature smirk. “You don’t need me, Cait. You need you.”_

She was lying on a table, and Zoom had been slapping her face, trying to wake her up. Caitlin hoped he hadn’t tried CPR. “I didn’t mean to hurt you, Cait--I swear, I just lost it--please, my love, say something, don’t you dare black out on me Caitlin Snow--” He looked like he might cry.

 _You took me away._ There was nothing she could say. Her limbs felt like they didn’t belong to her. _Come back, Ronnie. Anyone, please._

The last thing Caitlin heard as she blacked out again was her father singing her to sleep.

* * *

**_ Cisco _ **

“Please, Dante, don’t make me do this!”

His brother was implacable. “Cisco--look, don’t you want to be a family? Reading your letter changed everything for me. Our parents deserve the truth.” 

“Please, nobody can know about my powers! You weren’t supposed to find out. Nobody was!”

They were on the doorstep now. “Cisco, don’t be a baby.”

“I’m not being a baby! I just don’t want anybody to know--”

Dante turned around, his finger an inch away from the doorbell. “Why, Paco? Are you afraid that they won’t accept you? Or that they’ll sell you out to a villain? The only thing you have to be worried about is them being upset that you didn’t tell them--Cisco, how do people usually react when you tell them?”

He shrugged. “The only people who know are Barry, Cait, my ex-girlfriend, some friends in Starling, and Wells. Also, Zoom, and several assorted villains. Look, Dante--they don’t even know I work with the Flash! Please, can I do this after we’ve defeated Zoom? Or after Cait’s safe? Or even after Barry’s got his speed back, please, Dante, I can’t tell them this--” Cisco moved to leave, but Dante blocked him.

“Cisco--you said that Zoom might win. If he does, what happens?”

There wasn’t a good answer to that question. “With a bit of luck, I die first. If not--I end up working for him, I guess.”

Dante’s eyes bored into his forehead. “And Zoom’s going to manage that how?”

Cisco didn’t want to picture it, but he couldn’t shut it out. “He’ll threaten to kill my family.”

Dante nodded. “That’s what I thought. Whether you die or Zoom gets you--either way, you deny our parents the chance to sit down with you and just talk about it. Look, you have a few hours until that accelerator starts up. And you could all die in that. They should know in case something happens, but this has to be your choice.”

He tried to give voice to his fear. “What if they--are afraid of me?”

A moment of concern crossed Dante’s face. He clapped Cisco on the back, leaning down so they were the same height. “Paco, you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to. They’re not going to be afraid, okay? And if they are, we’ll talk to them until they see reason.”

“Thanks, Dante.” Cisco rang the doorbell. His mother opened it, gathering Dante into a lingering embrace, kissing him hard on both cheeks. Dante gave Cisco a “rescue me, please” look from within her arms, but Cisco hastily ducked inside. His father was reading the newspaper on the couch. As Cisco walked in and sat down on a stiff ottoman, his dad looked up, scrutinized him, grunted, and returned to the paper.

“Dante, why didn’t you come home last night? We worried so much! With that awful attack...”

They’d sat down now, too, comfortable and at ease. Cisco felt like an intruder. “Well actually, Mom, I’m very lucky that I ran into Cisco last night. If I hadn’t, I might not be alive right now. Anyway, um, last night, Cisco told me something about himself, something important that I thought you guys should know. Cisco?”

There was a stutter in his throat that wanted to be said. _Breathe_. He felt his face flushing. _I’m not ashamed of this--why am I going red?_ His mother leaned over to him. “So, Paco? Who’s the lucky man? This Barry?”

Cisco almost choked. “Um, that’s not it.”

“Really, Cisco, it’s okay. We’ve guessed for a long while. We still love you no matter who you love.”

He was going to die right now of embarrassment. At that moment, Cisco would have been relieved to see Zoom in the doorway. Dante mouthed “ _tell them_ ” from behind their mother’s back. Cisco stuck his hands in his pockets, fishing around nervously, when the ground gave out beneath him. The last thing he heard was his mother’s shrill yell. “Does he have brain cancer, Dante? He wasn’t telling us about this? How did none of us know? Cisco, please, wake up!”

**_Caitlin was lying on the ground, barely recognizable as anything other than a mottled mass of bruises. Zoom walked in, surveying the whole room, sweeping for any intruders. He crossed the room to Caitlin, leaning down to take her pulse. It must not have been good, because he frowned before speeding out, returning with a case of vials. Zoom crouched down, taking off his mask, pulling Caitlin’s head to rest in his lap. Petting her hair with one hand and murmuring something under his breath, he reached for her elbow, injecting something out of one of the vials into it. Her eyes shot open several seconds later. It must have been an adrenaline shot. She scrambled back as far as the chain would let her. “Just let me go. If you’ve won, you don’t need to keep me here anymore. Please, why can’t you just let me out! I don’t love you! But I will try to understand you and respect you--”  
_ **

**_His voice was gravel with the promise of broken glass beneath. “Caitlin, I just want to talk to you, alright? I’m not going to hurt you, especially if you don’t jab my eyes out! Now--what does it mean to recreate the accelerator explosion on a limited basis in a controlled environment?”  
_ **

**_She shook her head. “Try an encyclopedia; I’m not going to tell.”  
_ **

**_“They were all out at the library. I even throttled the librarian to make sure.”  
_ **

**_Cisco thought it was a joke until he saw Caitlin blanch. “Please, don’t kill anyone else over this. I’ll tell you, okay? It’s just an idea I had to get Barry’s speed back!”  
_ **

_**“Barry’s dead. The explosion killed him.”** Yeah, right. **He yanked her towards him; she was limp and glassy-eyed, like a rag doll. “Caitlin--was that your plan to take him out? It worked like a charm, if it was. I would never have thought of anything like that. You did it, Cait--you killed him.”**  
 ****_

__**“That’s not true.”**  
 **“Yes, it is.” He plopped something on the ground in front of her. It was Barry’s emblem.”** What? No way--that can’t be true. **“I always knew you were loyal to me. Promise you won’t betray me again, Cait? Now that I know you really do believe in me--”**  
 ****

_**She coughed with laughter.** She’s in shock. I have to stop this future from happening. I have to save Barry. **“What’d--you do to--deserve that? This doesn’t change anything. I am not some sort of prize you automatically get when you beat Barry. I will find a way to take you down. I hate you more than I have ever hated anyone.”**  
 ****_

_**“I saved your life, Caitlin!” he snarled, running his fingers possessively down her shoulders and arms.**   
****_

_**“I pick who I’m loyal--”**   
****_

_**“You picked me!”**   
****_

_**Caitlin shot her arm out to try and claw him, but he grabbed it. “Not a second time, Cait. I’m watching for that, now.” But she grinned like a skeleton as she shifted her hand to dig her overgrown fingernails into the soft skin between his gloves and his sleeves. He grimaced slightly, and she pulled herself up to standing, trying to wedge herself out of the cuffs, but he was up, too. Cisco winced as he saw Zoom hitting her, kicking her, forcing her down. He tried to close his eyes in the vision, but he couldn't.** _

_**There was no answer from Cait except for whimpering moans. When her cries finally stilled, Zoom turned around. “Hello, Vibe. Just know, you and your pathetic team can’t stop me from getting anything. Speed, power, love--oh, and be sure to ask Cait about thiopental for me sometime, it’s a funny story...Say hello to your family for me, and tell Dr. Wells I can’t wait to help him find his wife and daughter.”**   
****_

_**“You saw me here?”**   
****_

_**Zoom chuckled. “Why else did you think this vibe lasted so long?”** _

He was lying in his old bed, Cait’s ring clutched in his hand; Dante was in a chair by his pillow watching him anxiously. “Cisco? What happened? You scared everyone!” He leaned in closer. “Paco, was that one of your visions?” he whispered. Cisco nodded.

“What did you see?”

“He knows about the experiment we’re running tonight to get Barry’s speed back. He’s been torturing Cait for information. And he can tell when I’m vibing him. It’s like he can talk to me in them. Look--what did it look like to you guys?”

Dante’s brow furrowed. “Cisco, you just shut down, man, and you were staring straight ahead, and muttering stuff. We got you here, finally--Dad actually had to put the paper down and come help me carry you--and just a while ago you started covering your ears, and then you said, “You saw me here?” and you woke up right after that. I kicked them out, because I figured explanations wouldn’t be first on your to-do list when you got up.”

Cisco sighed through his teeth. “Let’s just get it over with.”

Dante opened the door. “He’s awake.”

His mother ran in, hugging him hard, telling him that with his patent money, they could fight this, they’d make sure he ended up cancer-free. His father rounded the corner, looking dazed, confused, and in search of someone to give a stern lecture to. Cisco held up a hand to shush them. “I don’t have brain cancer.”

His mom held his hand. “Cisco?” she breathed, “are you epolaptic?”

“Epileptic, and, no, I’m not. Mom, Dad--I’m a metahuman." He continued before they could react. "The particle accelerator affected me when it went off. Ever since, I’ve been working with the Flash at STAR Labs. I get visions--of things that are happening, or might happen. Dante figured out last night, and he thought I should tell you guys. In case Zoom beats the Flash tonight. He thought you should hear it from me directly. Anyway, I have to go soon. I’ve stayed too long, and I’d better go get dinner.”

Cisco’s mom got up. “No, don’t move, Paco. I am going to bring you food, and we are going to eat. And then I will send Dante for your things, and you won’t have to be afraid and in danger, and if the nightmares come back, you have family in your house to talk to, instead of being alone in that _apartment_!” She spit out the last word like it was a curse.

“Um, Mom? I have to leave. They need me for the experiment tonight.”

She was at his bedside, towering over him, forcing him down. “You are not putting yourself or your family in danger! I want both my boys safe! If you die, it will kill me!” _I died before and you didn’t even know or care._

“I’ve got to save the city--you don’t understand--”

She wasn’t going to let him finish any sentences. He knew this mood. “What I know is that you put yourself in danger without telling us! What would happen if you had died? Would we just get a little note--your son was killed in a meta attack! And then we'd never know the truth? Did you think about that? I know we haven’t been close recently, but we all love you! Don’t sacrifice yourself--you have a family to live for!”

“It wouldn’t have been a note--my colleague from the lab would have told you the truth--”

“You’re staying alive, and that’s the end! Stay in this family and live, or leave it and die!”

Cisco would have given anything three years ago to have his family in his room, worried about him. Today wasn’t three years ago. “I’m going to do this. I can do it either with or without your blessing. Dad?”

His dad nodded. “It’s your choice, son. Make me proud.”

“Dante?”

“Don’t look at me like that, Mom! Of course Cisco can save people if he wants. Just--don’t die out there, okay, Paco?” He hugged his brother briefly.

Cisco was out of bed by now. His mother was blocking the door. “Mama? _Please?_ ”

She didn’t budge. He tried to get around her. “Show me. Show me these powers you’re going to use to protect yourself. Use them to make me move.”

Cisco shook his head. He was crying. “Mama, I won’t do that. I don’t want to hurt you.” 

She laughed harshly. “My son the pacifist is going off to fight a war.”

He had to get out. There wasn’t time to do this. He had to help Barry. “Mama, I’ll pay for the damages, okay?” His adrenaline had been at a peak ever since that long vibe. It only took two tries for him to shatter the window so he could jump through it.  
Maybe, he could arrive in time to save Barry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time: The explosion and its consequences. Jesse confronts her demons, and Harry needs a hug.


	47. Harry, Jesse, Harry

_**Harry** _

Ramon was a mess as he bolted through the door. “Stop, stop, stop, you’ve got to call it off!” he panted, waving his arms like windmills. Gradually, he slowed to a stop in the middle of the room as he realized that everyone was staring at him with confusion. “Harry? Barry? Guys--”

Allen slid away from his perch in the machinery. “Hold on--Cisco, why do we have to call it off?”

Ramon bent over, breathing hard. “I vibed. The future, and you’re going to die. Please, you have to stop it.”

Wells spoke when it seemed unlikely that Allen would. “Ramon, we don’t have any other options.”

“Well, find one!” Ramon yelled. “Because nobody’s willing to risk Barry in order to get the Flash back. We literally know this isn’t going to work!”

Wells kept on working. “Ramon, there are no other options. Zoom is coming. We can wait like sitting ducks, or we can do this. Allen knows there’s a big risk: we all do. But both Snow and I had very similar ideas about what to do--shouldn’t that give you a little confidence?”

“No, because the last time you and Caitlin had similar ideas about something, you created what might possibly be _the most dangerous substance known to mankind!_ ” Ramon leapt forward and began to pull out fistfuls of wire, sobbing. Wells moved to pry him off, but Allen beat him to it.

“Hey, c’mere.” Allen took hold of Cisco’s shoulders and steered him towards the hallway. “I’m ready to do this. The only difference between this right here and what we do every day is that what happens tonight isn’t about whether I did everything right. You’re worried I’m going to die? Cisco, you could have had a very similar vibe on any other day, ‘cause I’ve got my life on the line in every fight. And just like in a fight, I’m trusting you guys to have my back, but I know that if something goes wrong, it’s not your fault. Sometimes there’s just not a good way out. Your vibes are potential futures, Cisco, not real ones...”

The voices trailed off as the boys moved out of earshot. In the hall, Wells could see Ramon yelling at Allen. Allen leaned back against a wall and nodded wearily. Ramon finally collapsed against a wall. Allen spoke again, reassuringly, and Ramon launched himself into Allen’s arms; they shared a fierce hug before separating to head back inside. Harry turned and went back to work: he wasn’t meant to see that.

Jesse had texted him again. “Wally needs the bathroom. What do I tell him?”

Wells smiled briefly as he moved to write a reply.

* * *

**_ Jesse _ **

Jesse heard the equipment powering on upstairs just as the beep registered on her tablet. “Wally--security breach! Zoom’s here, and I don’t think they know. We’ve got to warn them!” She took a running start and rammed into the door. It shook, but held strong. “Wall--do you know how to disengage this? Or make it weaker?”

He grabbed her by the arm. “Jesse, you need to stop. I’ve been trying all day, and you wouldn’t help. I totally get wanting to help everyone else out, but Jess--if Zoom’s out there, we should definitely stay inside here. That’s the whole reason they put us in here!”

She broke free easily, fiddling with the electrical control panel to try and get at least half the thickness of the door to retract. “Wally--they don’t know he’s coming, and the machine’s going to draw all the power up top--so we can’t comm up to them. Besides--if this goes wrong, I’m the only fighter left, so I’ve got to be out and ready. If Barry doesn’t make it, their gut reaction’s gonna be to shut us up in here. We need to show them that they can’t keep us safe! I’m sick of feeling like I can’t do anything!”

And then the thinned-down door gave, and she was out, running down the corridor at top speed, Wally behind her. “Jesse, wait up! That doesn’t make sense!” he yelled, but nothing could slow her down now.

She didn’t even see the orange mist until she was in the thick of it. It rammed into her, an invisible force with the power of a charging rhinoceros. Beside her, Wally was flung up into the air and hit the wall. She lost consciousness before she even felt the impact.

_The girl was lying outside on her favorite hammock. The taste of strawberries was tangy on her tongue. Without even looking, she could feel the sundress splayed around her, comfortable and broken-in even though she never wore dresses. She wasn’t wearing an inhibitor, but she couldn’t feel her strength. The rush of power she normally got from clenching her fists (or even tapping her toes) was gone. The sun bathed her in a golden light._

_She opened her eyes and slowly sat up. This was her garden at home; the sundress was yellow, soft, and flowing. Was she dead?  
_

_She heard the motor of his chair behind her. “Jessica Chambers Wells. Little Jesse Quick.”  
_

_The voice brought a thick, tangled bubble of emotions to the surface. Before she could give voice to any part of the tangle, the bubble burst, and in its place was mere curiosity. The girl--now she remembered that her name was Jesse--turned around. “Dad?”  
_

_He shook his head. “Not Dad. But close enough. Do you know where you are?”  
_

_There was a chickadee in a tree above her. “The afterlife?”  
_

_He chuckled. “Jesse, you’re an atheist. If you don’t know where you are, I can’t tell you. Suffice it to say that after you leave, you’ll figure all this out. It’ll all become clear.”  
_

_She fell into step beside his chair automatically, the pace long familiar to her. “So--why am I here, then?”  
_

_“That’s part of what you’ll learn once you go back.”  
_

_For a second, Jesse was overcome by the strawberries, by the birdsong, by the sun, by the way the bright fabric felt against her skin, by seeing her father with that twinkle in his eye. “I have to go back?”  
_

_“You can stay as long as you need. But you can’t stay longer. Now--let’s find somewhere to talk, Jesse. I can help you get through it all. You see--he never meant to hurt you.”  
_

_She nodded. “I know that now. I still love him, even though he was evil.”  
_

_“Jesse, everyone designs a purpose for themselves, and then their task is to forge themselves to match it. Nobody succeeds fully. It’s impossible to be fully good or fully evil. Flaws, imperfections in the metal--those can’t be changed by the design. Your father wanted desperately to be what you might call evil. He created a purpose of hate for himself, and then he tried as hard as he could to bend himself to that. But he couldn’t get rid of the love he had for you. He wasn’t a good man, a great man, a bad man, or even a silly man. He was just a man.”  
_

_“Zoom’s evil.” The words came out before she could help them, sounding childish and stupid in daylight.  
_

_“Zoom, like many people who came before him, loves deeply, feels slights acutely, and thinks that this makes him weak. He’s afraid of his own emotions, yet he desires to satisfy them. He wants power for the same reason he wants love or Barry’s speed--because he thinks it’ll fix what is wrong with him. Is he pitiable? Perhaps. Evil? I doubt it. There are real evil forces in the world, Jesse. Humans aren’t one of them. Now--where were we? Right. Moving on.”  
_

_They’d reached a white gazebo that she remembered from the park by her home, and her dress was white, now, with roses in her hair. “What do you mean?”  
_

_He gestured for her to sit down. “When were you planning on getting it over with? He isn’t coming back, you know.”  
_

_She knew that, but it hurt that even her own subconscious didn’t believe anymore. “I’m not your subconscious, Jesse. I know your subconscious, but I’m not part of it.”  
_

_“How much do you know?” she asked conversationally, finding a tray with a teapot and cups next to her. She poured it out, finding that one mug ended up filled with coffee, another with rooibos tea.  
_

_He sipped from the coffee. “You keep a journal of questions you wish you could ask him. So go ahead. Ask me questions. You’ve got to get them answered if you want to move on.”  
_

_This wasn’t her father. He didn’t have the right. “Why don’t I have my strength here?”_  
He laughed without the bitter overlay of sarcasm that she remembered. “Because it isn’t relevant. It’ll be back when you wake up. This isn’t about your strength. But you might never get to do this again. Take advantage of your chance to talk to him.”

_“You’re not him.”  
_

_He smiled. “You’re right, I’m not. I suppose I shouldn’t have broken the illusion so fast. I’m also not supposed to be using first person singular--but well, you and he were always rebels. Now, shhhh. This should do the trick.”  
_

_She was standing in his cell behind him, hearing the sobbing of her younger self. She had hated him so much. Now, she reached out, just a single finger, to touch him. He caught her hand without looking behind him. “Who are you?”  
_

_“It’s Jesse.”  
_

_In the first tenth of a second, it seemed like he was going to hug her, kiss her forehead, swing her into his arms. In the second tenth, she thought he might fling himself at her feet sobbing. In the third tenth, she thought he might kill her to destroy his own weaknesses. So in the fourth tenth, she asked the question she’d been longing to ask. “What were you going to tell her? If she’d stayed.”  
_

_He looked right into her eyes when she’d expected him to glance down. “I was going to tell her that I would never have left her alone. I knew the exact date she was going to die, and it was far earlier than I would have liked. I wanted to bring her back with me. I always have hoped a little too much--I thought maybe, because I’d taught her to be loyal, she might be loyal to me. I guess I wish I could make it clear that I wore a face for the team. Dr. Wells wasn’t me. Neither was the Reverse-Flash. They were just personas I created based on psychological profiles--the mad scientist, the dangerous, ruthless villain. But I wish she could have heard when she was eighteen that Eobard Thawne was himself as her father. I’d got a whole profile worked out--and when they placed her in my arms after the wreck, I thought I could do it. But she was two when I found her playing with Gideon’s circuitry. And it kind of hit me--that I wanted a legacy. A footprint to show that I did exist. Maybe I was playing Pygmalion a bit. But I wanted everything to be the best for her--for you. I was never trying to make you a part of my plan. You weren’t my tool. You were a complication that became everything..”  
_

_It sounded like her father, but with the electricity drained from all his fences of sarcasm. “Were you ever going to tell me?”  
_

_He groaned. “You have no idea. I asked Gideon again and again if she could figure out whether you had accepted it. I wanted to find the right day. Every birthday you had, starting at thirteen, I thought about telling you. Every night, I would lie awake, imagining telling you. But I always wanted to drag it out--this time we had where you trusted me.”  
_

_“One last thing--I mean, there’s so much, so many things I wish I could tell you about that have happened since--”  
_

_“I know about all of them. This isn’t the real world, Jess. So I know everything that’s happened to you, and all the potential futures you have in store.”  
_

_“Okay. Do you--do you want me to be your daughter?”  
_

_He seemed to consider it for a long moment. “Yes. I want you to remember what I taught you for yourself, not the things you saw me do. But I want you to pick what you loved about me and hold it dear, because that’s all you can do when someone’s gone. I hope you remember that I taught you to be loyal, unflinching, independent, trustworthy, brave, compassionate...take what I taught you and bend it to what you want from your life.”_  
She hugged him to her hard, because she knew this was the end of the road for them, and now everything was flooding back. Those weeks where he was the Reverse-Flash had blotted out all the other golden weeks of their time together. They had had their fights, but they’d always made up and come back together, father and daughter, an unstoppable team.

_She was in a workshop at the lab, sitting across from Tess. “There--did that help?”  
_

_Jesse nodded. “I think I understand, now. What’s next?”  
_

_Her mother laughed--the sound was everything beautiful Jesse had ever heard. “You decide, Jesse. What’s your new purpose? You can’t build without blueprints. I took the liberty of drawing up a few sets for you.” She handed Jesse some rolls of paper. Jesse opened one up, but there was--”Nothing there, I know. I can’t spoil the ending for you. I just want you to find one--one that feels good in your hand, something solid that you can build, a tool that you can wield. But find one that pulls you somewhere exciting. See, Jesse--I chased castles in the air my whole life, because I didn’t know how to make them real. That’s why I loved your father--because he always had his feet on the other side of the horizon. You’re our daughter--you can belong with either, but you’ll probably need both.”  
_

_“I love you, Mom.”  
_

_“I would say I was proud of you, Jesse, but I’m told that saying that psychologically undercuts the hard work you did to reach this place, as well as implying that your success is supposed to be about making me happy. So I’ll just say that I love you too. Say hi to Harry for me, alright?”  
_

_She was sitting at Jitters’ with Iris and Caitlin. “What now?”  
_

_“Now, we wait,” said Iris.  
_

_“The three of us are good at waiting,” said Caitlin. “You won’t need to wait as much anymore. But no matter what happens, you have to remember what it was like to wait for answers you might never get, because we’ll all be back together soon. You got some answers today, but we don’t get ours handed to us.”  
_

_“What was I waiting for? I don’t understand.”  
_

_Iris leaned over the table. “Your father. You were waiting to know whether it was okay for you to love him still. We watched your back, Jesse, the whole time. You have to be patient with us when we’re all back together. You know, historically, it’s always the women who wait while the men go away. But you have the power to go away with the men. You sometimes waited with us for news, though. Never forget what it’s like to be powerless, Jesse, on the other end of the comm, hoping that nobody died. All of your friends will need you when you get back. But Caitlin and I, we’re going to need you the most. We all three waited for someone who didn’t come home, you see, and we all three know how hard it is to love someone and hate them equally, how it hurts to not know where you stand with someone.”  
_

_Caitlin took Jesse’s hand. “You can leave whenever you want, Jesse. Just remember--you have friends who haven’t ever left your side. You have deep roots, no matter how far away you run. It may take a while for what we talked about today to start happening, and it might never happen. But we haven’t ever doubted you, and we’re not planning to start.”  
The lightning licked like flames at the side of her vision. They were trying to pull her back. “They want me, but I think I’ll stay and wait a bit. You’re right--I got impatient in the time vault. I should know by now how to wait.”_

* * *

**_ Harry _ **

He didn’t think it was possible to feel so utterly defeated as he watched Allen disintegrate, saw the pain twist his face. But he hadn’t known he’d find Jesse’s splayed-out body in the corner of the next room.

 _Not much in the way of physical marks or bruising_ , said Iris, wishing along with everyone else that she wasn’t Iris West, but Caitlin Snow. Iris was useless here: at least Snow might be able to mold words into a diagnosis. Somehow his daughter--not his daughter, but it was easier to think of her that way--wasn’t waking up. Not a coma, not really, but she was on her back on a hospital bed, breathing slowly and calmly like she was merely napping. She might never wake up, though, and it wasn’t fair, which was all he could think about.

Jesse hadn’t brought this on herself. Judging by the activity on her tablet, she’d been trying to warn them that Zoom was headed their way. Allen--even Wells himself--had planned this. Whatever flaw in the design had killed Barry and done this to Jesse had been Wells’ and Allen’s fault. They should have taken the punishment for it. Specifically, him. _Is this the universe’s way of making me pay_? He squashed the thought before it could consume him.  
But the most unfair thing was that Joe West’s son woke up almost instantly, and yet Joe West was calling daily, worried Wally might be a metahuman. _Just be grateful your son is alive and well_ , he thought venomously in private. The team had moved Jesse into his room downstairs so she’d be better protected in case of an attack. He spent every second he could find at her side, and still nothing changed.

Wells counted his seconds by the beeping of Jesse’s pulse in the monitor, hours by the little sighs she sometimes gave. Finally, all time blurred together as he wondered when his little girl would come home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time: Cisco and Iris hold things together, Caitlin has some visitors, and Jesse returns.
> 
> There is no way Jesse didn't see SOMETHING during that coma. I'll leave you guys to guess when (or if) she will become a speedster.
> 
> I put in that line about women waiting for men to come home because a) that is historically what tends to happen, and b) the only full-time female heroes who are on the good side in the current Earth-1 Arrowverse are White Canary and Vixen. Say what you want, the Arrowverse is really male-dominated (thanks, Arrow, for killing Black Canary, retiring Speedy, and making Artemis evil...)


	48. Cisco, Caitlin, Jesse

**_ Cisco _ **

In the end, it fell to Cisco and Iris to hold things together. Joe was concentrating on Wally, Barry was gone, Henry (who’d arrived too late to stop the explosion) was mourning his son, Harry hadn’t left Jesse’s side, Jay was fighting for his life in a hospital bed, and who knew what had happened to Cait? They never talked about what they’d lost. Cisco had been able to guess what Iris said to Barry, and he knew that she saw his struggle every night, the battle he fought in forcing himself not to vibe Caitlin or his family.

It had fallen into a routine--wake up, go to the lab, bring Harry food, wait for an evil metahuman to show up, fight desperately just to stay alive. They had to stay alive, because if they died, there wasn’t a Team Flash anymore. Everything depended on them right now--not to save anything or stop anyone, but to keep the simple, day-to-day machinery from falling into disuse. It wasn’t the type of heroism Cisco liked. They laughed and joked while they ran for their lives, but they were balanced on a high wire, and if they looked down at what had happened to everyone else--what would happen to them soon--they would both fall.

Iris marched into his workshop on the third day, during a brief respite from the steel zombie chasing them ( _long story_ ). Cisco was staring at the wall when she opened the door. It was a game he played with himself: _how long can I keep my hands from reaching towards (Caitlin’s ring, Dante’s first watch, my mom’s pressed flower book, my dad’s old journal)?_ He’d snuck back to his family’s house to gather materials for vibes. Whenever he was bored, he played the game, along with its variant: _how close can I reach my hand to (name of meaningful item here) without wanting to vibe?_ Iris grabbed the ring (she didn’t know about the other things), stuffing it in her pocket as she sat next to him. They didn’t look at each other, and there was a long silence.

“Don’t do that. It doesn’t help anything.”

He swallowed, trying not to think of the way his best friend used to be. “Iris--we could try again. Vibing Barry.”

He felt her tighten beside him. “Cisco, they’ll come home. But if Barry turned away from you, he needs more time.”

Barry--the actual, literal nicest person Cisco had met. The neutral, expressionless look on his face as he’d turned his back and walked away. “You’re right. Maybe I’ll try again sometime.” They both forced simultaneous smiles onto their faces. “In the meantime, let’s kick some zombie butt!”

Iris grinned back at him, just as if she hadn’t seen the man she loved disintegrate. They high-fived, smiling like maniacs. _I am such a hypocrite._

* * *

**_ Caitlin _ **

Caitlin saw the explosion through her window. There wasn’t much to see, since the explosion was contained perfectly, but when she saw the lightning hit the wand at the perfect angle, she knew what was happening. For the first time in a week, Caitlin ran her fingers through her hair, trying to work on the tangles. She arranged her shirt to cover as many of the bruises as she could. _I’m finally out of here. It’s over--just a few more minutes, and I can be back at STAR Labs._

That didn’t happen. Barry didn’t come to save her, and his emblem lay at her feet.

Somehow, she couldn’t quite process it. _I_ _killed_ _my_ _friend_. _Barry_ _is_ _dead and_ _it’s_ _my_ _fault_. She said the words over and over to herself, and felt nothing. No guilt, no grief, no shame.   
That was when she began wondering if she might be Killer Frost. It wouldn’t be out of the realm of possibility for some little tendril of dark matter to escape and change her, especially if she'd had any effects from the first explosion.

_As he leaned forward towards her, she puckered her lips invitingly, swinging a hand to his hip, leaning towards him, her mouth an inch away from his as she stabbed an icicle into his back. She froze him, watching him twitch with the pain until he was solid. Then she shattered her cuffs with a blast of frigid wind, kicked his body away from herself, and headed back to the lab to become Central City’s new hero._

She flexed her hand experimentally, but no ice came. 

_She saw the yellow lightning coming and wondered why Barry was both here and dead. The yellow lightning and the blue tangled up and down the building, and although she closed her eyes, she felt the rush of air on her face when he came in. Strong arms reached down to grasp her, taking her pulse--hands, not claws. She felt the cuffs fall to the ground, and she looked up into his eyes. Hunter’s face stared back at her--desperate at first, then relieved when she was okay. Zoom had impersonated him, he told her. Zoom was really someone else--Mick Rory, a version of Wells, it didn’t matter--but Hunter was the man she’d cared for all along. Zoom had hurt both of them, but he was dead. She clung gratefully to her hero as he took her home._

Nobody came for her. Zoom was Hunter. She was all alone.

_She was fighting back as fiercely as she could when her arm was broken. Zoom loomed over her menacingly, but then the flames hit him. There he was, hovering outside the window, grinning defiantly: Ronnie, her Ronnie. Her captor growled, bristling with aggression, and then blue lightning met yellow heat in a mid-air tangle of limbs. She thought about trying to be beautiful, but she knew he wouldn’t care about the grime seeping into her face like a second skin, because she was his. The door opened a few minutes later. She heard his footsteps, level and even. “Ronnie?” she called, barely keeping yearning from overpowering her voice. But Ronnie didn’t run to her, didn’t hold her to him fiercely. He barely even looked at her as he walked towards her, bending down, his lip curled with hatred and disdain.  
_

_“You.” There was something wrong. But maybe she was just imagining things.  
_

_“You saved me! I can’t even believe--I’m so happy--”  
_

_“It was never about you. Or have you forgotten?”  
_

_This didn’t make sense. “What do you mean? Ronnie, I thought we were in love!”  
_

_“You? Me? In love? Ha!” His face leaned down until it was inches from hers. “We were. We were, until you betrayed me!”  
_

_There was a ringing in her ears that she couldn’t escape. “No. I never--”  
_

_His voice was booming, too loud for her ears, too loud for the room. She squeezed her eyes shut, but this wasn’t going away. “You kissed him. You gave away my memory for a couple seconds of someone else’s lips. You fell in love with a monster, and now you can’t accept the consequences. You picked him, so you belong to him. You gave me up. Now he’s dead, but you sided with him. Now we have to decide what to do with you. Nobody can trust you anymore!”  
_

_She was clutching at his knees, but he put her hands off him. “Ronnie--love--”  
_

_“Don’t talk to me. I hate you!” She recoiled like she’d been slapped. “I trusted you, and the instant I was gone, you threw yourself at the first man who walked in the door!”  
_

_“He manipulated me!” She was sobbing, now.  
_

_“Maybe. But we both know how the law works. Who’s more guilty: the person who pulls the trigger, or the person who manipulates them into it?”  
_

_“They’re both equally guilty.”  
_

_He gripped her arm, putting his other hand on her shoulder. ”That’s right. Guilty. He was guilty. And so are you.” He was going to hit her with a close-range blast of nuclear energy._  
“Please! Ronnie! Stein, are you in there? Don’t do this. You’re not a killer!”  


_It was a shadow of his old grin. “You’re right. I’m not.” He kissed her then, forcefully. She could feel the skin on her lips singeing, smell her own flesh roasting. His hands were burning into her back, but his eyes--they were calculating, merciless. Even this close to her, he didn’t love her anymore.  
_

_Her throat was dry. “Please, water!” she croaked, but her plea was lost, and she was suffocating. He shoved her to the ground and walked away. “Please! How do I find food? At least uncuff me! Please, don’t leave me here! Kill me instead!”  
_

_He didn’t bother to turn around. “Why would I save you? Nobody wants you. Even Zoom. He told me before he died that he was sick of the way you whined and moped, pretending you hadn’t already chosen him. You make me nauseous, Caitlin. You’re not meant to survive.”  
_

_No. “What?”  
_

_He snickered, finally turning to meet her eyes. “I said I wasn’t a killer. I’m not killing you. You’ll die of dehydration in a day or so. Either that, or exhaustion will get to you first. Stein says maybe you’ll complain yourself to death. However it works out--guess I’m a widower. I’d say I was grieving this, but we both know I never loved you. I just felt sorry for you.”  
_

_He walked away._

Her throat was dry, but she didn’t even have burn marks to remember him by. Now even Zoom was stopping by less frequently, she thought. She had a raging fever, and she knew he was probably drugging her.

When he came the next time, she tried to summon up Ronnie, but he had deserted her. His words were all that was left--ashes. 

There was a day where Cisco came to sit with her and they built a prototype that was going to get her out of there. But then Zoom came and Cisco had to leave. Zoom took the prototype later. 

There was a day where she imagined fuzzy carpet on the floors, cozy chairs by all the desks, a soft, warm pair of fluffy pajamas. But she couldn’t imagine away the handcuffs on her wrist.

There was a day where she imagined escaping, running back to the lab to find unfamiliar people there. When she told them who she was, they laughed, because didn’t she _know_ that Caitlin Snow had been dead for fifty years? She realized then that she was dead. This desk she was chained to was her coffin, and she was buried on the first floor of the CCPD. She looked down and her body decomposed into bones.

There was a day where she imagined that the rest of the team had been captured too. It was good to watch somebody else get hurt by him for a change.

And then there was the day where she imagined all the ways she could kill him if he didn’t have his speed. Pressure points, weak spots, nerve endings--she could make him suffer unimaginable agony. He had hurt her, and she wanted to hear him scream.

How had he hurt her again? She didn’t know, but she was drowning in hate for him.

Caitlin woke up from the fever with an ugly taste in her mouth and no real sense of how long she’d been sick. She remembered every last thought she’d had, the twisted joy her visions had brought her. _Maybe I do have a darkness within me._ She hadn’t known she was capable of thinking like that.

If Caitlin Snow wasn’t a good person, than who was she? A scientist? Caitlin tried and failed to remember anything from her professors’ lectures besides ways to hurt people. A friend? She’d fervently wished her friends here--not for company, but to save her own skin for a few brief minutes. A doctor? She’d taken an oath: _First, do no harm._ If she had the chance, she would break that oath and love every second of it, use everything she knew about medicine to _make him pay_. She knew that if Zoom came in right now with his gut ripped open, she wouldn’t lift a finger to help him. In fact, she’d probably hit him right in his wound. She didn’t know who she was anymore. That night, she cried herself to sleep. 

The next morning, she woke up with an odd lightness in her head. Everything felt numb--not the chilly sort of numb, or the heavy sort. She felt as her life was a TV movie that she wasn’t particularly interested in, but she watched anyway.

It was so much easier not to care, because now he couldn't hurt her. She was in the here-and-now, and her mind wasn’t anywhere-else-in-particular, but she only heard him distantly, because the volume was on low.

She didn’t need anybody but herself.

* * *

**_ Jesse _ **

Jesse was still at Jitters’ when the lightning began to flicker around her. 

Caitlin looked up at her. “You should go, Jesse. They need you.”

She’d been sitting there for so long that she had to consciously remember how to talk. “How do I leave?”

Iris gestured at something behind Jesse’s head. “You walk out the door.” 

Jesse turned around, and there was a figure at the other end of the room, just beyond the doorway. “Can I come back?” She knew the answer before Caitlin shook her head.

“Probably not. You should hope you don’t need to come back.” Jesse nodded, taking a deep breath as she hopped off the stool. It was about ten feet from where she stood to the exit. 

_One foot in front of the other._ Her shoes felt leaden. 

There was Zoom, blocking her path, lightning aglow, reaching his hand out to vibrate through her chest and crush her heart. _Right foot. Left foot. Eyes ahead._ He spoke, but she couldn’t hear it. His hand was in her chest now, and she wanted to scream, but she couldn’t open up her mouth. Even after she passed through him, she could still feel his grip, painful inside her ribcage. _Keep moving._

Griffin Grey, morphing smilingly from eighteen to eighty in the blink of an eye. “I tried to save you,” she called, but he glared at her before collapsing into dust that fell all over and around her. _One. Two. One. Two._

Killer Frost, her chest gaping with the wound Zoom had given her, chuckled lowly at a joke only she knew as her lips brushed Jesse’s cheek. _Heel-toe. Heel-toe._

Eliza had a scalpel in her hand, and she traced the shape of a mask on Jesse’s face. “You could have stopped him,” she whispered. 

The Reverse-Flash--so blurry she couldn’t tell which face he wore--crushed her to him in a hug as he forced her inhibitor bracelets onto her wrists. She cried out. “You’re my daughter, Jesse. I created everything you are. You are my legacy, and I know you won’t let me down.”

_Step. Together. Step. Together. I love you. Step. Together._

And there was her doppelgänger, humming quietly, her eyes wide, empty, and meaningless. “I’m sorry,” Jesse whispered, but Other-Jesse just looked quizzical. 

“You passed,” she said. Jesse reached for the other’s hand, but before she could grasp it, she fell through the doorway. 

Barry caught her at superspeed. “Barry! You got it back!?”

He smiled glowingly. “Yep. I was in the Speed Force like you, but Cisco and Iris called me back. Come on. Harry’s worried about you. I’ll give you a ride out of here.”

Jesse shook her head. “I have legs; I can walk.”

Barry put his hands on her shoulders. “Jesse--listen, I haven’t been the best guardian to you. And I know you’re used to doing things on your own, but you’re not alone. Trust me on this. You’ll never make it back in time if you walk.”

She looped her arms around his neck to be picked up.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas, everyone!
> 
> Poor, poor Caitlin. Honestly, poor everyone. I feel like I write that every chapter, but still.
> 
> Next time: Hunter takes a risk, Harry makes a promise, and Caitlin comes to a realization.
> 
> Just to clarify the Ronnie stuff...first of all, Caitlin is sick when she hallucinates this from a bad reaction to the drugs Hunter gave her (I'm not sure how clearly that came through in the final draft.) Psychologically speaking, I think it's reasonable that she would feel like the whole mess with Hunter is the universe punishing her for "cheating" on Ronnie's memory with him. Our society has strong, and slightly unrealistic expectations of widows and widowers, and that is what Caitlin is feeling in her hallucinations--that it was wrong of her to date Hunter so soon after having lost Ronnie.


	49. Hunter, Harry, Caitlin

**_ Hunter _ **

He was gambling everything on this. Maybe it was dangerous, but Hunter was damned if he was going to wait any longer. He was sick of this little dance of theirs, sick of the way she pretended to hate him.

Once, a hundred lifetimes ago, she had been halfway out the door, and he had asked her to stay. Hunter had to believe that she would choose him again, because he needed her. Besides, if she didn’t choose him, he wasn’t sure he could protect her. He’d thought he could keep her far away from the team’s influence; he’d known he could keep his army away from her. It agonized him endlessly to do it, still more to stare at his handiwork afterwards, but he even knew he could steel himself to hurt her if she tried to escape. (There was no way he could allow her to run loose on the streets. She’d be killed.) He’d learned since she came that all his precautions weren’t enough to keep her safe.

She’d had a bad reaction to something he’d given her--maybe food, perhaps one of the drugs. He’d come in one day to find her crying out and struggling in her sleep. Hunter had tried to hold her, but her face was flushing, and her form was trembling in his arms. Her skin was hot and dry, and she was yelling for Ronnie.

She’d been delirious for the better part of a day when she finally awoke. He waited for her to say something, but she never told him what she’d been dreaming. He’d thought she was alright until the next day, when she bolted to the back of the desk as he came, shielding something with her body. Hunter pried her away, though she screamed and clawed at him viciously. He retrieved the object, only to find that it was a collection of odds and ends, squirreled away from her meals.

According to Caitlin and a dose of thiopental, the pitiful heap of bottle caps, utensils, and wrappers was a high-tech superweapon prototype Cisco was building to help her escape. Apparently, Cisco had been there with her, but he’d left. The building sensors reported no activity, and a quick hack of STAR Labs’ cameras revealed that the engineer hadn’t ventured out of the lab at all that day. Hunter took the pile-- _can't let her hurt herself on this junk_ \--and retreated so he could decide what to do. He couldn’t risk losing Caitlin. She made him whole. When he was around her on one of her good days, he felt completed. If she were to die, he’d lose his chance at happiness forever. He’d loved and lost before: Kayla, Becca, Andrea, others, all gone from him now. Losing Cait (he thought of her as Cait often, even though she’d asked him to call her Caitlin) would destroy him. There was very little in his experience to match this pain, to equal the agony of watching the woman he loved slip gradually away from reality.

But he couldn’t take her to a doctor about her hallucinations. Hunter could imagine it--some person in a white lab coat matching Caitlin’s name and face up with missing-person fliers, or Cait finding a way to signal that she was “being held against her will.” He couldn’t trust Cait alone in an examining room with someone.

In the end, Hunter drew some of her blood to try and cure her himself. Gradually, her temperature dropped, and she stopped talking to people who weren’t there, stopped laughing so unnaturally. But try as he might, she never lost the odd look in her eyes. It was a sort of glazed-over distance, like she was seeing him but not really looking at him. 

So he’d decided to risk everything on her love for him. If he could just be certain, if they could just dispense with the illusion of her hatred, they could take the rest slowly. He’d be able to trust her with her freedom, knowing that she’d always come back to him, a hawk flying to rest on a falconer’s glove.

He felt fairly confident that she’d choose him over the team. She knew now how they’d manipulated her, and although she’d been unwilling to believe it, he knew she had to understand. How else, if not through their mind games, could her feelings have changed? Besides, how could she not love him? He could give her anything her heart desired. She was so beautiful, his Caitlin. The radiant flush that leapt over her cheeks as she saw him, the way she drew back to keep herself from running to him--these things spoke volumes of her feelings for him, no matter how much she claimed to hate him. She no longer shuddered when he touched her, and just the day before, he’d kissed her gently. She hadn’t tried to fight him, and although he wished that she would have kissed him back, or even enjoyed his kiss slightly more, that would come with time.

All he needed was basic confirmation--that she loved him, that she would support him unconditionally. He’d already found a house for them--a large, beautiful house so that she could feel free. Lots of windows so she could get some natural light, instead of languishing in the dark of the police station with the lights off and the blinds closed. He’d stocked it with all the equipment she could possibly need for her experiments, as well as anything else she might ever want. If he just knew that she loved him, even just the faintest amount, they could go there and work on the rest. Undoubtedly, Caitlin would be upset that she couldn’t leave the house, but she was intelligent enough to understand that they couldn’t risk her being captured by the Flash.

There was no sound in the room as he opened the door just a crack. “Cait?” He’d tried to think of what he’d say when she threw herself in his arms: “ _It’s okay_.” Perhaps “ _I always knew you’d see._ ” But he’d decided to go with “ _I won’t fail you_.” She needed to know that he wouldn’t let the Flash and his associates delude her again, that he’d always be there, that he’d never lose control and hurt her like he had the others. He swallowed, remembering the day she’d confronted him about the other women. He’d been torn--indignant that she couldn’t understand how they’d promised to love him and then hurt him, frustrated that she didn’t know he would never hurt her...but also secretly jubilant that she loved him enough to have been jealous. With a fond smile on his lips, he threw the door open.

The room was empty. Even in his worst imaginings, she’d left a note, but the chair where she’d been was bare. She hadn’t even taken anything. She’d left everything he’d given her in a neat little pile--those earrings he had bought her on a date and brought here for her to wear, the photo she’d taken of them that he’d put on her desk--everything she had of him, there, confronting him silently. She had been so worried about leaving him as an equal that she had denied herself something to remember him by. _My Caitlin, always so self-sacrificing. When will you learn to choose happiness?_

He had to hold up the terms of their agreement. So he didn’t come after her, but watched from a rooftop to make absolutely certain that she walked the long distance to the lab in complete and utter safety. It was all she’d ever let him do.

Suddenly, he hated her. How dare she lead him on like that--make him believe she cared, then hurl it back in his face?

This wasn’t her fault. She was confused. Or perhaps she believed he didn’t have a chance of winning. Still...he’d keep his promise to her. He’d kill her with the rest of her team. What Hunter hadn’t promised her was that he wouldn’t bring her back to life--perhaps with dark matter radiation, perhaps by going back in time to use the Lazarus Pit. And if she lost some of her memories of Team Flash in the process, then it was all the better for him. The point was, he would save her. She and the Speed Force were the best things in his life, his only chance to fill the gap in him. As long as there was a minuscule possibility that Caitlin could fix him, he would take it.

* * *

**_ Harry _ **

They’d finally let him talk to Jesse alone. It had taken far too long, especially since Iris insisted on running a barrage of tests to make sure Jesse was okay. He’d paced up and down outside the medbay, trying not to think about her face as she woke. She’d been dazed, and she hadn’t even looked at him. _What’s wrong with her? Is she upset that I did this to her?_

But she assuaged all his fears as he walked into the examining room by springing off the table and hugging him tightly. “I missed you so much!”

She would never have said that before, but they lived in a world where anything could snap at a second’s notice. _We don’t have time to say anything but exactly what we mean._ He was relieved (somewhat traitorously, he felt) to note that she wasn’t a speedster. By now, being a speedster in Central City was a death sentence. “I missed you too, Jess. You had me so worried.”

Jesse still hadn’t let go. It was like she needed to reassure herself that he was flesh and blood under her fingertips. “Harry--I think I saw Mom.”

_What_? He tried to swallow the tremor growing in his throat. “What do you mean, Jesse? Where?”

She sucked in a breath, slowly. “In my dream. I dreamed-- _things_ , and a lot of them were true. Not vibes, like Cisco. But--she was there, and we talked, and suddenly, I just _realized_ that we can find her.” _Tess_.

“How?” He leaned back, gripping her upper arms and staring into her eyes, barely daring to hope.

She smiled, speaking far too fast. “On another Earth. The same way my parents are dead, but I’ve got you. There’s got to be an Earth where Tess Wells is alive and Harrison Wells is dead. And I bet Tess is feeling pretty lonely. So maybe she might like to meet us. It wouldn’t be a normal family, but...” She let the sentence hang. “It might be nice to have a sort-of mother. Or just to meet a version of her.”

He’d forgotten that this Jesse never met Tess. “Yeah, the AI can’t have given you a happy picture of her.” _How did I not think of looking for Tess before now?_

She was beginning to second-guess herself, stumbling over her words apologetically. “I mean, of course we can’t do it now, because, well, Zoom. And you’re going to want to go back to your Earth. But maybe after we’ve got things sorted out. And she might not want us. I know I didn’t want you at first.”

“There are infinite Earths in the multiverse. Jess--I think we just might have a chance.” Suddenly, despite everything he’d lost, even though Zoom had every possible advantage and there was next to no chance of them winning this, Harrison was feeling...hopeful. Plans for the future were starting to bubble up inside him.

She felt it too. “And I saw--him, and I think I finally have some closure.”

He spoke wildly, on an impulse. “Let’s do it now.”

Jesse stiffened. “What? We have to help stop Zoom. And we don’t even have a reliable means of inter-Earth travel. Besides--what if we just bother her and she doesn’t want us?”

Wells bent down and grazed his lips over her forehead. “I trust you to know when to give up with her, Jesse. And nobody would ever not want you. But you’re right--we should stay. I just--I want to do this together, and Zoom--”

She laughed good-naturedly. “Don’t worry, I’ll protect you.”

It wasn’t funny. “Don’t. If you live, you’re someone who tried. If you die, you’re a corpse.”

Jesse jutted her jaw out. _Who’d she learn that from? Tess always did that when she was being stubborn._ “If Zoom wins--I can’t deal with the aftermath. I don’t want to be a slave.” She forced a grin. “Give me liberty or give me death!”

“What?”

“Nathan Hale.”

“Not on my Earth. Jesse--there is always hope. If you don’t like being a slave, lead a rebellion. As long as you’re alive, you can influence the outcome of events. Promise me you’ll try to stay alive?”

Her eyes locked onto his. “Only if you promise, too. To stay alive, and to let me protect you, so long as I try to stay alive, too.”

Wells thought about all the tortures Zoom probably had prepared for him. He remembered fondly his dreams of reuniting with his family in another place. But Jesse was right. “I promise, Jess. Although I bet I’ll regret it.”

She nodded soberly. “I promise, too. Anyway, Zoom might just kill us all on sight. But I hope not. See, we _have_ to stay alive, because we’re going to find Tess.”

Harrison tugged her closer. She scooted over, latching an arm around his waist and letting her head relax onto his shoulder. He smiled to himself. It just might work. “That we are, Jesse Quick.”

“I love you.”

“Love you too.”

* * *

**_ Caitlin _ **

Her legs couldn’t really support her weight. _Muscular atrophy from disuse._ Caitlin staggered through the silent streets, clinging to the sides of buildings. What she needed was a ride, but her purse was back at the lab. It had her bus pass and all her money.

She’d taken off her heels a block ago. Her feet were the only sensitive part of her left, and they felt the rough roads acutely. She could have walked the main roads, which were nicer, but she knew that it was probably a trap. He would find her and kill her, and she didn’t want to die. She had to try not to be found. But she couldn’t wear her heels for another second, though, even if she could have balanced well enough to walk in them. Even with the pain, it was bliss to be rid of those shoes. They had hurt her feet, and she’d been wearing them nonstop for the past however-many weeks. No matter what happened, she’d never taken off her shoes, because it would have meant that she felt at home...

_Don’t think. Just walk._ It was going to be at least another mile, and she’d already slipped and fallen more times than she could count. It was too dark for facial recognition software to get a clear shot. If it wasn’t, she would have planted herself by a traffic camera and refused to budge until someone came for her.

_I’m going to be back at the lab soon._ It was the only thought keeping her on her feet. She wasn’t sobbing, although she wished she could sob. The pain in her feet was her only reminder that she was still human.

At every block, she swiveled her head to check for him. Every shadow seemed to have his shape, and she heard his voice in the rumbling of the passing cars, the hum of machinery. _Caitlin...Caitlin...Caitlin...Cait...you can’t run forever, Cait...you are mine...I’ll always be here._

She was going to be looking behind her every block for the rest of her life. She might never stand again without feeling like she was going to fall. And she would never be able to let someone hold her elbow to keep her from falling. There were big bruises mottling her all over, but the little cuts and abrasions on her feet and knees hurt more.

_This is what you did to me--all the little things. I will never step into that police station without hearing your voice rasping in my ear. When someone touches me, I will overreact and probably hit them. When I treat Barry, I won’t be able to stay clinical, because now I know intimately how a bruise feels on skin. When I eat, I will feel your hands on my face. If I try to learn to defend myself, I will feel your breath on my neck from when you checked my bruises over after our sparring session, and I will hear your voice telling me to unlock my darkness. You ruined all the little things that brought me back from Ronnie--the smell of chamomile tea, the feeling of a heavy jacket, rain on my face, strawberries. I can never beat you in a fight, and even if I did, you’d just leer at me, laughing, because in this game, you have all the advantages.  
_

_But I’m not a pawn anymore. When you take away all those little things, you take away everything but anger. You thought I didn’t do anger, that I suppressed it, because I was afraid of some bogus darkness. But you think anger runs quick in the blood, that anger is hitting and screaming, red, red rage.  
_

_Maybe it is for you. For me, violence doesn’t come so easily. Anger turns my blood solid and crystalline. I’ve felt it before today, but never really for my own sake, for wrongs done to me. I can’t hurt you with my fists, and my revenge is slow, but it’s all I’ve got.  
_

_Maybe this is a darkness. Still, it isn’t the darkness you planned on, and all it cares about is making you suffer. I am not powerless, and two can play this game of ours.  
_

_My wish for you is that you forget how to sleep through the night, that you hear my voice always just around the corner, that food starts to taste like dust to you. That the next time you do this to someone, she fights back better than I did and you see me smile from afar as your eyes fill up with blackness. I wish that you live forever in pain, and that you become something even you are afraid of, and I hope any solace I or anyone else ever gave you is ripped from you. I hope you end up raw, stinging with regret and blinded by agony.  
_

_I am afraid of you, and that isn’t going to change, not now or ever. You are always going to haunt me, but if I get my way, I’m going to haunt you right back. And not in your dumb, romanticized, “her eyes burn themselves into my dreams” way. In a “no matter where I go or what I do, she’s going to get me” way. Maybe that’s too much to ask.  
_

_My friends will all have their own take. And maybe someone will tell me I’m supposed to forgive you. Maybe I will forgive you someday.  
_

_Today isn’t that day, you sick freak._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time: Cisco gives advice, Caitlin has a long-overdue reunion, and Harry is opposed to being tactful.
> 
> Yes, Hunter's thoughts on Caitlin leaving are inspired by Mr. Rochester from Jane Eyre. No, I'm not sorry. The similarities were way too good to pass up.
> 
> Caitlin is out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	50. Cisco, Caitlin, Harry

**_ Cisco _ **

It took Cisco a while to get Barry on his own. But finally Harry and Jesse had been left to themselves, Iris and Joe had gone off to call Wally, and Henry was setting up shop in Caitlin’s old lab, now that they’d found time to move Jay to the basement. Cisco pulled Barry aside just before he headed down to the treadmill. “Hey, can we talk?”

Barry grinned. “Are you going to tell me I’m being overconfident? Because Iris, and Joe, and my dad--they all tried to give me that talk. The Speed Force _wants_ us to win, Cisco. I get that it’s hard for you guys to understand.”

Cisco didn't want to hear this now. “If the Speed Force wants us to win and it gets what it wants, then why did it let Zoom get your speed? Or break your back? Not to mention, kidnap Caitlin? Why did the Speed Force take you away for a week, if it wanted us to win?”

Barry began to stammer, turning nearly as red as his suit. “It was a metaphysical experience...there were things I needed to hear said, some stuff I had to get past...”

This was too much. “Metaphysical experience? You know, what, Barry, I am _so glad_ you had a metaphysical experience. That must have been so amazingly transformative for you. Gee, I sure wish Iris and I could have had a metaphysical experience instead of, oh, I don’t know, _almost dying_!”

Barry’s face fell. “I am so sorry, Cisco. I didn’t think--it must have been really tough.. Look, it’s going to get better. The Speed Force didn’t _let_ you die, after all. Um, Cisco--is Iris mad? Um, because I don’t know if you know, but things are kind of awkward for us right now.”

It was so hard to stay mad at Barry. Pretty much impossible. _Those puppy eyes_... “Yeah, I know about what Iris said. What are you going to do?”

Barry groaned. “I’ve loved her longer than I can remember! And I want to be with her, but I want it to be right. I want it to be when we’re not facing--all this crazy stuff. I want to be able to go on a date without having twelve other things that are more important racing through my head, because that isn’t fair to Iris. I’ve flaked out on people before. Iris is too important, Cisco. If I’m going to do it, I should do it right, which means I shouldn’t do it now.”

“You know who you should be telling this to, right? Hint: it’s not me.” Barry had his head in his hands, and he was beginning to massage small circles around his eyebrows.

He looked up briefly. “When do I tell her, man? I just don’t know!”

Cisco clapped his friend on the shoulder. _Seriously, do I do all the thinking around here? Poor Barry. Also, poor Iris. Poor everyone._ “Okay, why don’t you meet her after your next patrol? Tell her on the way in. The stuttering’s always way more excusable when you’ve been Flashing. I mean, not like, indecent exposure flashing. Like, you know, like your job. Flashing. Wow, we need a better verb.”

Barry began to look a little hopeful. “Thanks a ton, man.” He got up and flashed off. Cisco had just started to clean up the pile of loose papers that had flooded down when Barry flashed back briefly. “Anyway, it’ll be okay. The Speed Force will help her understand!”  
 _Geez. That’s what he got out of that conversation? Does Barry_ not know _that I solve his relationship problems? He thinks the_ Speed Force _does that?_

After he left, Cisco ate dinner before he hunkered down in the basement to wait for something to happen, turning off the upstairs lights so that they didn’t attract many attacks. It was a long time before his monitor began to beep--Barry had requested that Cisco mostly stay off the comms for the night so that Iris could have some privacy. Kind of hypocritical when one considered just how much Barry had told Cisco about Iris, but the poor guy was probably just nervous. The beep was nothing much--just a minor alarm trip near the outside of the lab. Cisco pulled up the security footage, yawning lazily.

He froze for a split second before he bounded down the hallway.

* * *

**_ Caitlin _ **

She couldn’t walk any farther. Caitlin had tried to make it to the main entrance, but something snapped in her when she saw that all the lights in the lab were off.   
_He killed them._ Cisco, Jesse, Iris, Harry, and Joe were--dead, or dying, and she hadn’t known. That’s why he’d let her go. Because she didn’t have anything to go back to. Because she’d see the empty lab, maybe even their corpses, and know she was alone and-- _what? Run back to him?_

She tried the door, but it was locked. A small light began to blink above her, indicating that she’d set off an alarm, but she didn’t care. _Let him find me._ She settled down to think with her back against the wall and her tired legs stretched out.

_I can’t give up. Maybe someone’s still alive. He told me...what did he tell me? Something about going back...did he mean going back to my friends? Yes, because he said that if he found me, he’d kill me for choosing them...were they already dead when he asked me that?  
_

_Who do I know who can help me fight back? I could try to find Stein...I could go to Starling, but it’s not like the Arrow could do much... Maybe I should just save myself. I could take my mom up on her offer--maybe it’s still standing._ No. She’d told Zoom about her mother. She couldn’t go there. She could try and find some allies--perhaps some of the metas in the pipeline might be willing to fight Zoom to earn their freedom. The city was going to be ravaged by Earth-2 metas, Zoom’s minions--she’d heard their cries as he urged them on. 

_We still live._ But she was the only one left. _I still live._ There was only so much comfort to be found there. _What if I surrendered? Just temporarily, and found a way to destroy him from the inside?_ Even if she could find the strength, he’d been clear--if he saw her again, he would kill her. She wasn’t ready to die.

Footsteps. Not the slow, purposeful pacing of Zoom, the nervous patter of a frightened low-ranking meta, or the swagger of an upper-level lieutenant. This was frantic pelting, the stride of someone whose feet were barely touching the ground. _Someone’s still alive?_ She listened, but she couldn’t hear a pursuer. _Why are they running?_ And then she heard him call her name.

“Caitlin! Can you hear me?”

She staggered unsteadily to her feet. “Cisco? Cisco, I’m here! Cisco!”

And then he was around the corner, running at her with arms outstretched to grab her in a bear hug. At the last second, she flinched, and he withdrew.

“Are you okay? Cait, how’d you get out? Did he hurt you?”

She managed a small headshake. “He didn’t hurt me, Cisco. I’m fine, really, I am. I don’t want to talk about it.” She tried to be convincing, but some of the effect was marred by the tears starting in her eyes. “I’m so sorry--I didn’t know. Zoom told me--what I did--how Barry--”

Cisco just seemed confused for a second, but then he met her eyes gravely. “Caitlin--he _lied_. Barry’s fine. We’re all fine.”

Relief swept through her in a thick wave. “Oh--I can hardly--I should have known he lied--everyone’s okay? Really?”

Cisco offered her his jacket, but she refused it. “Yep. Everyone’s okay. Let’s go inside, alright? He’s not going to find you. You’re safe now. Can you walk?”

“Yeah, I think.”

Caitlin leaned heavily on his shoulder as they made their way inside. _It’s over. You’re safe. He’s not here. You’re okay. It’ll be alright._ “So, how are you guys holding up?”

Cisco chuckled. “Badly. We’re all fine, but--the explosion sent Barry, and possibly Jesse, into the Speed Force. I vibed Barry out and he got Jesse back, but it took nearly a week. So I don’t think Harry’s eaten--tell you what, why doesn’t everyone tell you their bit themselves?”

She bit her lip. “Sure.”

He stopped walking to look into her eyes. “Cait, even if something had happened to Barry in that explosion, nobody would blame you. Jay told us what Zoom was doing to you.”

She interrupted. “Jay’s here?” _I can still save someone._

“What am I, chopped liver? He’s in the basement. But he’s not doing well.”

Caitlin worked up the courage to give him a quick hug. “You’re not chopped liver, you’re Cisco Ramon, my best friend. But right now, I need to save my patient.” She hit the down button on the elevator and got in quickly. _How did I forget about Jay?_

The elevator was halfway down to the basement when she realized that she was in a small metal box. _Great move, Snow. This is sure one way to check for incipient claustrophobia._ She was trapped, and there was no way out. She was backed into a corner, and it felt familiar, right, because one corner feels so much like another. There wasn’t any air in this box, and she was dying, and the walls were closing in on her. She closed her eyes, and the afterimage of his touch brushed across her. Her skin itched, and she tried to swat his hands away, but she could never get a hit in before he moved. She tried to cry out, but he had his hands under her chin, slamming her mouth shut, forcing her to upturn her face to him. Like a dream, she remembered the searching gazes he had given her, his questions _(Can I trust you, Caitlin?)_ , her simpering replies _(Of course. Always.)_ , the way she’d thrived off of his approving glances. She opened her eyes so that she could see to fight back, and with a single glare, he made her limbs immobile, put her under his spell. She was a prisoner inside her own body, and he didn’t need chains to hold her.

When the elevator doors opened, she was curled into a little ball. _Will I ever be okay?_ Caitlin was beginning to doubt that the answer was _“yes.”_  
 ****

* * *

**_ Harry _ **

Ramon showed up in Wells’ workshop shortly after he’d left Jesse to finish her Iris-mandated bed rest. He was practically radiating energy, bouncing off the walls. “Harry, she’s back!”

“I know she is, Ramon. I just talked to her.”

“How--what? She went down to check on Jay just now. When did you see her?”

 _What?_ “She’s supposed to be resting, Ramon. Not checking on Jay. She just woke up.”

Ramon swatted at him impatiently. “Not Jesse! Caitlin! She’s here!”

“Snow? Ramon, is she alright?”

The boy deflated like a balloon. “No. She’s tired, and shaky, and I heard her screaming in the elevator on the way down. He hurt her real bad...Listen, Harry, we’ve got to be careful around her. We don’t want to hurt her. I get this is tricky for you, but could you try to be...tactful? For once? Look, imagine she’s tech, and it’s on a hair-trigger. So you want to use gloves, and be light with it, so it doesn’t blow, right?”

 _He’s an idiot if he thinks Snow won’t see right through this._ “No.”

Ramon threw his hands in the air. “Goddamnit, Harry, why? Do you want her to have a panic attack?” _There is only one panic attack currently in progress in this building, and it’s the one you're having right now._

“I respect Snow too much to coddle her. She’s smart enough to know when people are trying to go easy on her, and last I checked, she didn’t exactly like being protected--”

Ramon bulldozed over him, interrupting viciously. “This isn’t coddling, it’s trying to be considerate! We just have to accept--”

“What, that she’s unstable? She could blow at any second? Ramon, I thought we all learned our lesson after the Killer Frost incident.”

The engineer’s left hand began to scrunch in and out of a fist. “That was different! And not telling her was your idea!”

Wells sighed, putting down the prototype he was tinkering with. “Ramon, what adjectives best describe Snow? Not just right now, but overall?”

Ramon’s jaw jutted out harshly. “Harry, I’m not in the mood for this. Just cut to the chase.”

“Give Snow space and time. Treat her normally. If she wants to talk, listen. But for the sake of all you hold dear, Ramon, don’t let her think you’re worried about her!”

The boy’s face was unrelentingly obstinate. _Listen, Ramon, dammit!_ “When’d you get to know so much, huh?”

Wells was at the end of his patience. “Since I raised a daughter!” he growled, turning back to his work. Ramon laughed.

“Yeah, great job. You’re totally my role model for that. If your whole “callous cruelty and being a jerk” thing hurts Cait, even a bit, I’ll murder you.”

“Good to know, Ramon. If I were you, I’d hope Zoom doesn’t kill us all, so you get the chance.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time: Caitlin and Jesse save a life (and play matchmaker on the side), Hunter teams up with an old friend, and Cisco and Iris discuss the merits of The Force Awakens.


	51. Jesse, Hunter, Cisco

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Descriptions of injuries, mild spoilers for Force Awakens.

_**Jesse** _

When Caitlin staggered into the basement lab they’d set up for Jay, Jesse’s stomach pitched suddenly downward. She wasn’t sure what was worst: the thick bruises splotched across Caitlin’s face, the raw, bloodied, bitten mess of her lip, the fingerprint bruises crawling up her arms, the slow, cracked half-smile she used as a substitute for her old grin, the way she hunched over slightly as she walked like she was trying to protect her internal organs, the way she moved (so slowly, like every centimeter was painful), the way she hugged herself with her hands like she was trying to hold herself together by force, the way she avoided Jesse’s gaze, the flat blankness of her eyes, or the way her nails were bloody and she had half-moon cuts in her palm.

“Cait?” For a second, Jesse worried that this was yet another Speed Force hallucination. _Maybe I should have listened to Iris and gone to bed._

Caitlin nodded, her chin set defiantly, her wrecked lips pursed in almost the old way. “The one and only.”

 _What do I say?_ Hesitantly, she got up out of her chair and met Caitlin in the center of the room. She looked worse up close, and every mark on her told a horrible story. _That one--that’s the toe of a boot. Those right there are fingerprints. He had his hands all over her face, especially on this side--he was trying to turn her head._ Jesse forced herself to stop. But the words she was thinking blurted out before she could stop them. “I’m going to break every bone in his body.” A low, menacing growl of a tone she never thought she’d use. _I hate him._ It felt good to think. _Cut it out. If anyone deserves revenge on him, it’s her. Not you, you silly goose._

Caitlin didn’t react. Before, she might have told Jesse not to try and go up against Zoom, because she wasn’t experienced enough. Now--who knew? “How is he?” _Changing the subject. We’re not done here yet, Cait._

“Jay? Comatose. Tina and I have been switching off shifts taking care of him. He definitely got a dose of the Speed Force vapor-y stuff that knocked me out. It might have given him his speed back, which would mean that he’d be in the Speed Force. But Cisco tried to vibe in with him and got nothing.”

Caitlin nodded again. _She’s reverting to doctor mode. They must have a class on that in med school--how to ignore everything going on around you and inside you, and just save a life._ “Jesse, run up to my lab and get me my most recent batch of Velocity. The one I thought might cure Speed Force withdrawal-related conditions.”

“I thought the effects were temporary.”

Caitlin was picking her way slowly to the chair at Jay’s bedside. Jesse silently offered her shoulder as a prop, but Caitlin shooed her away. “They are, but I just need something to jumpstart the speed force in his cells. As soon as possible, please.”

So Jesse raced out of the lab, taking the stairs two at a time instead of the elevator, dashing through the cortex (hoping that Harry didn’t catch her out of bed), and rifling through Caitlin’s carefully labeled supplies. Caitlin had kept samples of all her speed drug attempts, but the most recent attempt was the only one she’d mass-produced. _She was going to cure him, the undeserving beast._ Jesse grabbed as many bags as she could fit in her arms. When she got back, Caitlin had made it to Jay’s bedside, and was taking out his nutrient IV. Jesse knew what to do here. She’d seen Caitlin do things like this before. She swapped the bag of V-( _I guess I don’t know. 7? 9? 10?_ ) onto the pole. Caitlin filled up a syringe from the other bag and injected it into Jay’s neck. “Jesse, give me readings from the monitors.”

“No change--no, wait, there’s a bit of a pulse--Cait, he’s seizing up!”

“I’m going to defibrillate. The electricity--”

 _Lightning. Like Barry and Zoom._ “Okay.” Jesse got the AED kit from off the wall and stood back from Jay’s bedside. “I’m clear,” she called.

After shocking Jay, Caitlin started chest compressions. After the first round, Jay went limp.

By the third round, Jesse couldn’t bear to watch.

“Cait, just call it!”

“No! I’m not done.” _If he dies..._

“Alright. Clear!”

Caitlin was muttering desperately as she did the compressions, and Jesse’s heart went out to her. “C’mon, you stubborn idiot, you survived him, you can survive this, c’mon, fight it, do it for Christina, you’re the Flash, and you’re not dying on me, nobody else is dying on me!”

_Christina? What? Who’s that?_

Caitlin finished compressions and stepped away. “Readings?”

Jesse scrambled for the monitor. “Nothing--no, wait--I--I think we have a pulse. BP’s climbing! I think he’s more stable now.”

Behind her, Jesse could hear Caitlin inhale deeply. “Alright, I’m going to do one more shot of V-9, and then let’s get some blood transfusions going. What’s his type?”

Jesse was about to respond, when a voice came from the doorway. “A negative. Luckily, Mr. Allen is type O negative. Now, I assume that means we have a nice, strong pulse?”

Jesse ran to Tina and hugged her hard. “Tina, Cait’s back! _And_ we’ve got a pulse!”

Caitlin battled to her feet as Tina crossed over to the bed. “Dr. McGee. Thank you for taking such good care of him.”

Tina pulled a lab coat from the wall. “The pleasure was mine, Caitlin. And how many times do I have to remind you to call me Tina--” She paused, surveying Caitlin, clean lab coat thrown on haphazardly over four-week-old clothing, skin bruised almost beyond recognition, gloves tugged over bleeding hands. “Oh, my. Are you alright, Caitlin?”

Caitlin’s voice was small and timid. “Yes. Just a little worse for wear. I’ll clean up once I know he’s safe.”

Tina helped Caitlin up from the chair. “I can take it from here. Go rest, Caitlin.” Caitlin steadied herself on the wall as she left. Something about Tina made her orders hard to disobey. “You too, Jesse. Remember, he’s from a different Earth. We don’t want to startle him when he wakes.”

 _Different earth..._ ”Yes, Tina” _...wait...what am I missing?_

She dragged her feet on her way out of the lab, and was rewarded with the sound of Jay’s voice, harsh and grating with disuse. “Ch--Christina?” She probably did an adrenaline shot, to increase his blood flow _...wait--Christina. Tina. Of course!_ Jesse giggled slightly as she scurried round the corner, catching Caitlin.

“Hey, Cait? You’re gonna want to see this. That Christina you mentioned?” Caitlin turned around wearily.

“Yes, Jesse?”

Jesse knew this was wrong, but somehow, she could barely restrain her glee. “It’s Tina McGee.”

Caitlin groaned. “Really? You think so? And we left her in there with him? What were we thinking?”

Jesse tugged on Caitlin’s arm. “C’mon, let’s go watch!”

“But she’s married!”

 _Oh, wow, I’m starting to see parallels. Widow meets handsome speedster...Never mind. This is pretty cool, and she’s not going to want to miss it._ “Widowed for decades, single and looking. Him?”

Caitlin seemed to have given up on escaping, and she was letting Jesse drag her down the hallway. “He loved her on an alternate Earth. _Please_ don’t do this.”

Jesse stopped abruptly, and Caitlin slammed into her. “Oops. Sorry. Look, do you want him to be happy? Because I happen to know she thinks he’s hot. You hear a lot of stuff, monitoring a coma patient for a few weeks.” Caitlin looked pained. “Okay--look, it’s kind of meant to be, and I think I ship it, and I’m pretty much never wrong.” There was only one sure-fire way Jesse knew to help people who were suffering, and this was it: be ridiculously over-enthusiastic until they gave in and let you cheer them up. Later on, she’d listen to Caitlin and offer support. But for now (psychology was one of Jesse’s five majors), what Cait needed was to be distracted. “C’mon.”

Caitlin gave Jesse that weird, broken smile, and Jesse’s heart shattered momentarily. _You’re way in over your head here, Jesse Quick._ But, Caitlin did allow Jesse to drag her to the hallway outside the basement lab. They pressed themselves against the walls. Something infectiously mischievous about spying on the others seemed to make them both teenagers again ( _well, younger teenagers in my case_ ), and Caitlin looked like she might just slightly be about to giggle.

“There. Now that you’ve drunk some water, I’d like to run a few tests, with your permission.”

“Christina? That is your name, right?”

“Tina.” Jesse mouthed “Ouch!” at Caitlin.

Jay tried again. “I’m sorry, it’s just that I knew you on my Earth.”

“Girlfriend?” Jesse mouthed. Caitlin mouthed back, “Wife.” _Ohhhh._

Tina laughed. “Well, that does make sense. You had me rather shocked.”

Jesse whispered dramatically, “Silence Will Fall.” Caitlin mouthed, “Nerd.”

“Back at you,” she whispered. Silence did fall.

Jay tried yet again. “Does your husband mind that you spend so much time here?” Jesse and Caitlin winced simultaneously.

“He’s dead.” Silence. “What about your wife? I assume she misses you terribly.”

“Zoom killed her.”

“Oh, how dreadful.”

Jesse leaned over to whisper in Caitlin’s ear. “Alright, they’ve both established that they’re single. He’s such a poor puppy dog. It’s kind of sweet. She isn’t usually this icy, though.”

Caitlin whispered back flatly, “She’s British. I think it’s how they cope.” Jesse snorted.

“Here he goes again...”

“Sorry I’m staring. You...you kind of look like my wife.”

“Ah. I expect I’m her doppelgänger on this Earth.”

“Yes,” Jay said miserably. Jesse stuck her lip out in an exaggerated pout. _Poor rejected Jay._

“Well, that explains rather a lot. Would you be interested in having coffee with me sometime once you’ve healed?”

Jesse shook Caitlin, grinning, the pout forgotten. Caitlin held up a hand, counting the fingers slowly down, her crippled smile a fraction wider. _Wait for it...3...2...1..._

“Yeah, sure. Sure thing.”

 _Nothing like young--well, old, I guess--love to restore your faith in the universe._ Jesse scooped Caitlin up in a fireman’s lift and carried her out before they got caught.

_She just might be okay after all. Thank goodness._

* * *

**_ Hunter _ **

Hunter Zolomon was in a dark place. He’d left Caitlin alone after she’d gone into the lab, speeding away. _Coward. You’re too scared of this woman to let her know how much you care for her. You left it all up to her, even though you knew, deep down, that she is far too stubborn to see when she needs something. You know you could make her choose you. You said it yourself:_ I could make her lose herself, subject her will to mine entirely.

He’d been wrong.

 _What I need is more time to get back into her trust. She’s so closed-minded. I could pretend I’d changed. Or pretend I was a different version. Then, I could finish what I should have finished long ago._ Images clicked into place in his mind: _Caitlin asleep, a delicate layer of ice coating her eyelashes…_

“Penny for your thoughts?” _Dinah_. Her voice from behind him was calm, inviting, almost slightly mocking.

Dinah was a law student from Starling who had run away from her home eight years before the accelerator explosion. She’d gotten work in Central’s police department, and eventually become the head detective on his case, mainly because nobody else wanted the job. She’d had a fairly novel approach to catching him: she’d gone undercover in a neighborhood he’d been frequenting, and set herself as bait for him, planning to wear a wire on all their conversations until she got evidence (the judge was willing to sign any and all warrants at that point, because Hunter’s body count had begun to mount and at this point, all they wanted was to stop him.)

She was smart, but not that smart. He’d figured out she was playing him halfway through their first conversation. Hunter remembered all too well--pulling her by the hand to a back room of the party “so they could talk without all this noise,” pushing her up against a wall, and pinning her there as he yanked the wire out, crushing it under his heel. She’d laughed approvingly.

“You really are as good as they say you are, aren’t you?”

It turned out that she was wearing a second wire. They’d played cat-and mouse all summer. Sometimes, she’d talk him into a corner until he accidentally dropped some little hint. The second-to-last day of the summer, she backed him into a closet and said, looking up into his eyes wickedly, “You are Hunter Zolomon, right? The serial killer?” He’d patted her down for wires very thoroughly before he answered.

“Yes. It isn’t what you think it is. You scared?”

“No. Not in the slightest. Now, my turn again. How did you do it, why did you do it, and--is it fun?” He’d gone into much more detail than was advisable in front of a cop. When he’d finished, she’d grinned as he tangled his fists through her hair. “Well, I’m sorry you missed out this summer, spending all this time with a _boring_ undercover cop instead of trussing up a new victim for the slaughter.” He’d chuckled hard at that.

The next day, the girl down the hallway from Dinah vanished. Not even an undercover cop could stop Hunter and Cecily from finding true love.

Unfortunately for true love, Dinah had bugged the closet.

She was there for his trial and sentencing, and she visited him in prison. After the accelerator explosion, he’d returned the favor, showing up in her apartment. She’d been waiting for him to arrive. They’d started fighting almost hesitantly, savoring the feeling of being slightly outmatched. But they’d quickly gotten into the swing of things, until at last, he’d crushed the air from her lungs, pinning her to the floor.

“Join me,” he’d said, and a slow, Cheshire-cat smile had curved across her face. He’d told her then of his plans: metahumans allowed to use their powers completely as they pleased. Chaos, utterly and completely. “Why should we rein ourselves in? Let’s use our powers to take what we want.”

“Partners?” she’d asked.

He’d laughed, then. “No.” Dinah had sulked ostentatiously. “If you want to work with me, then you need to remember that I’m in charge.”

Dinah had agreed, rolling her eyes slightly as she swore to follow him. He figured adding some ritual elements could only help the mystique he was trying to build. When she got up, he’d slashed her shirt down the back and burned a handprint on her shoulder blades with his lightning. “You better be worth this, Sparky. I’m trusting you here. Otherwise, I’ve given up my ability to wear strapless dresses for nothing.”

Now she was here, on this Earth. “Dinah.”

“Hunter. What’s got you brooding out the window?”

She crossed the room to stand next to him. “Just figuring out my next move. And I’ve told you before not to mock me.”

Dinah puffed out a laugh. “I spend months talking you up to the recruits, and the instant I finally get in to see you, all you’ve got is “don't mock me”?”

He didn’t reply to that.

She nudged herself between him and the window. “If you’re not going to talk about her, then you should tell me what I can do here to help.”

“There’s no her.”

She traced her fingertips up his arm. “You want a polygraph with that one? ‘Cause there’re earrings on the desk behind you. Did she put up a good fight? I bet I could put up a better one, only Tommy might get jealous.” Tommy was Dinah’s partner, the Dark Archer.

“I need you to lead my army. I want this whole city inside the week. Take out the Flash, but no casualties to him or his team yet. They’re mine. Take out buildings and infrastructure--”

“I know the drill. I’ve been serving you the longest, after all. You don’t have to lecture me by now, Hunter.”

He grinned. “Well, I don’t want to make Tommy jealous…”

Dinah scoffed. “Oh, he knows you’re not my type. He’s more concerned that I’m going to cradle-snatch Arsenal. Anyway, I’ve got a city to take.” But she didn’t leave.

“What is it, Dinah? Do you need a favor?”

She tilted her head to look into his eyes. “I know you. And I know you’re going to conquer the multiverse. But you won't be able to if you tie your servants’ hands. Let me kill the Flash.”

 _Insubordination_. “Are you doubting me, Dinah?”

She shrank back. “No,” she breathed.

He turned away from her. “You give me the city and all the survivors. Exits blocked, city leaders dead, all channels of communication cut off. Take out major production hubs. I wouldn’t give you this lecture, but if you forgot that I don’t take kindly to insubordination, then your memory’s not what it was. Don’t let anyone with connections to the Flash escape. The whole army stays in Central for now--Tommy can wait to kill the Arrow of this Earth. Any insubordinations, bring the offenders to me. I’ll kill them personally.”

He loved to watch Black Siren squirm.  
****

* * *

**_ Cisco _ **

Cisco was on his computer, trying to figure out the fastest way to rent The Force Awakens for the long-delayed Team Flash movie night. He knew he was stressed about something, because he was stress-eating, popping potato chips into his mouth absent-mindedly, yet ferociously.

“Hey, Cisco.”

 _Wow, I am really out of it if Iris walked in here and I didn’t even slightly notice._ “Yo, Iris! How’s it going?”

Iris pulled up a chair. “It’s going fine, I guess. I think. What’re you working on?”

“Renting The Force Awakens. I figure now that Cait’s back, we could finally do a movie night.”

Iris pursed her lips and leaned over to see his screen. “You’ll probably find a better deal on another site.” He pulled up a new tab and clicked around in silence for a while. “Wait--Cisco, are you sure that Force Awakens is a good movie for Cait right now?” Iris sounded nervous. _What does she mean?_ “I mean, I know we were planning to do that before, but I’m just worried that--well, there’s that one scene where Kylo Ren captures Rey, and I don’t know how it’ll affect her. It could be empowering to see someone bouncing back from that experience, but she might subconsciously get the idea that we think she should have escaped earlier. I don’t know, but that scene’s creepy even for me. I mean, the way he acts all _into_ her--”

Cisco took the easy way out, interrupting her, his voice rising. “Kylo Ren is not _into_ Rey. She’s so clearly a reincarnation of Anakin. JJ Abrams would never repeat that whole “Empire Strikes Back” incest thing.”

Iris laughed, letting herself be drawn away from the topic with him. _We are such cowards._ “In your dreams, fly boy. I’ll have the last laugh when she turns out to be Obi-Wan’s granddaughter.” She paused. “Anyway, I just think we have to be a little cautious, movie-wise.”

Cisco tried to wet his parched tongue. “How is she?” he croaked.

Iris didn’t meet his eyes. “She’ll heal.”

Cisco shut his computer and turned to face her. “You don’t have to protect me. I can take it.” Iris’ eyes stayed fixed somewhere on the floor, and Cisco could see her clenching and relaxing one of her fists. _That’s my calming exercise!_

“Well, she’s a little afraid of bright lights, right now. I got her to take a shower. She didn’t want the water warm at all. Maybe warmth reminds her of Ronnie. She wouldn’t even let me give her a shock blanket. Anyway, the bruising continues a bit, and according to the Internet, it’s consistent with kicking. Nothing broken that I can tell. After the shower, uh, she asked for makeup to cover the bruises with, so I got her Jesse’s foundation. Mine was the wrong shade. Her teeth were kind of chattery by then, so I made her wear a sweatshirt over her tee. I got her down to sleep finally. She was on a cot in the lab. I came back in about half an hour later to get Tina something medical-sounding for Jay. Cisco--” Iris trailed off.

“What?”

Iris swallowed. “She was by the sink, and she had the big case of sodium thiopental--it’s that one we use for light anesthesia in quick operations. Anyway, she was opening up the vials and dumping them all out.” _Ask Cait about thiopental for me sometime. It’s a funny story.  
_

_Sweet Dumbledore._ “Has she said anything to you?”

Iris shook her head. “Nope. She must have been taking lessons in shutting up under stress from Barry.”

Cisco’s insides did a belly flop. “Has Barry talked to you? Recently?” He was going to tell her, and then the Caitlin thing came up.

Iris shook her head. “Nope. Cisco--is there something he was going to tell me?”

The expression on Iris’ face was uncannily similar to the kicked-puppy look Barry had worn last year whenever Iris was mentioned. Suddenly, Cisco was sick of this--watching them flop around each other like beached fish. First Barry, and now Iris. _Just get past the unrequited love phase, people!_

“He--he was going to-”

Iris reached over and squeezed his hand. “You don’t have to say anything. He’s the one who needs to say it.”

“Where’s Cait now?”

“Down with Harry.” Cisco swore and moved to get up, but Iris stopped him. “Look, Cisco, I talked to him. I think we just need to give her space. Um, I’ve booked her therapy. She can go or not go, but--”

“Harry is literally the opposite of tactful. And she should be talking to her friends, not some _stranger_.” He jerked at her arm, but she didn’t let go.

“Jesse’s in there, too. She’ll keep him in line. Cisco, I know from losing Eddie that sometimes people just need to feel like they’re still being treated normally. Besides, I think it’d be good for Harry. Somebody who went through what happened to his daughter. If he helps with Caitlin, he might finally come to terms. And I think Caitlin doesn’t want to talk to us because she doesn’t want to be pitied. So a therapist means she can just get it out in the open. I even found one that specializes in meta-attack related trauma.”

Impulsively, Cisco hugged Iris. “What did this team do to deserve you?”

She grinned. “I don’t know, but _someone’s_ gotta keep them all in line.” Cisco wasn’t quite sure he was on board with Barry’s whole invincibility thing, but he was feeling decidedly more hopeful. For the first time in weeks, the whole team was together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time: Jesse and Wally strategize, Caitlin attends therapy, and Cisco mourns a friend.


	52. Jesse, Caitlin, Cisco, Caitlin

**_ Jesse _ **

Jesse left the lab early in the morning. Cisco didn’t really feel comfortable leaving Caitlin alone in the lab at night, and Caitlin had refused to go back to her apartment or surf the numerous sofas offered to her. Instead, Jesse had helped her move the cot out of the annex and set up a thicker mattress, which would have been _great_ , if it weren’t for the fact that Cisco, Barry, and Iris were more overprotective than Thawne. So Barry had turned his patented puppy eyes against her, and she’d reluctantly allowed herself to be badgered into becoming nocturnal until Zoom was defeated. But now Barry had arrived for the morning, so Jesse was free to go home and get a bit of rest.

She could tell that something was wrong the instant she stepped on the porch. There was a bobby pin lying on the front mat--the same bobby pin that she had carefully balanced on the top of the door so that it would fall out if the door opened. Barely daring to breathe, Jesse leaned forward to examine the lock. Yes, it had been picked, and inexpertly, judging by the scratches around the keyhole. Jesse disengaged the latch on her inhibitor bracelet, feeling the strength surging and tingling in her fingertips. She allowed herself a silent count of three to prepare before she turned the key in its hole and pushed the door open, simultaneously flicking on the lights. The room was empty. Of course it was. Trying to calm down her rushing heartbeat, Jesse fumbled in her purse for her phone. _Maybe that heat scanner app Cisco downloaded is still on it..._ Yes, there it was. Her missed-calls icon blinked at her annoyingly, to let her know she had twenty three new messages. She pulled up the app and swung the phone around the room. One heat signature, through the wall.

 _Someone’s in the kitchen, at the table. Means it isn’t Zoom. Zoom would have left by now. He doesn’t sit at tables and wait._ Which left Harry, Cisco, and Tina.

She rounded the corner. It wasn’t Harry, Cisco, or Tina. Wally West was sitting calmly at her dinner table, just as if she had invited him over for a party. “Hey Jess.”

Jesse sank into a chair. “Hi. You’re not someone I expected over here. Does your dad know he should be arresting you for breaking and entering? Does he even know you know how to pick a lock?”

Wally flushed. “Well, you weren’t returning my calls, Jess. Look, I need your help.”

“What is it, Wall?”

He sighed. “You know how when we met, you were really into fixing the stuff your dad did?”

Jesse nodded and waited for him to continue. “I thought you were a bit bananas, Jess. But I think I get it now. This whole metapocalypse--it’s my fault.”

“It’s really not.” She knew saying that wouldn’t convince Wally, but she had to try.

He ignored her. “Jess, I want to make it right. And I want you to be in on it.”

“In on it how?” _I hope this isn't going where I think it is._

“You’ve got powers. I want you to help out. I’m going to do it whether you want me to or not. If you want to make sure I come out of it, you’re welcome to come along.”

Jesse’s phone buzzed. It was Tina. “Hey, Tina.”

Was that a siren in the background of Tina’s end? “Hello, Jesse. You’re going to see this on the news, and I don’t want you to be alarmed in any way, but the lab seems to have been attacked. Mr. Allen rescued me, and I’m fine.”

“Who did it?” Jesse’s throat was suddenly dry.

“I don’t know, but it’s some sort of metahuman with vibrational powers. They’ve been taking down buildings all day. Anyway, Jesse, I talked to your father, and he wants me to reiterate that you should stay safe tonight. He says he’ll be coming by at eleven to check on you.”

“Alright. I’ll make sure to be there.”

There was a hesitation on Tina’s end. “Jesse--are you...planning something?”

“Nope! Is everyone okay?”

“Deborah’s got a sprained wrist, Ashley’s concussed, and we’re still waiting for ten people to be found. No bodies yet, but who knows? I’m in contact with families.”

Jesse bit her lip. “Who’s missing?”

Tina sighed. “Jesse, I don’t want to do this right now. I’ll give you the full list when it’s done, but I need you to get sleep. Tomorrow, can you look into temporary locations?”

“Sure thing.”

Jesse hung up to find Wally staring at her from across the room. “So?”

She set her teeth. “C’mon. We’ll spar in the basement, and then we’ll head out after my dad checks in on us.”

Wally grinned. “Yes, ma’am. It’s a date.’

* * *

**_ Caitlin _ **

Caitlin was the only patient in the therapist’s waiting room, and the receptionist had been staring at her ever since she’d listed STAR Labs as her employer in the course of searching up her insurance policy. She’d been handed a large pile of paperwork to complete, and told that Dr. Smith would see her in half an hour. She’d texted Cisco, Iris, and Jesse with a picture of the plaque by the office door (which read “Dr. John Smith, PsyD”.) Cisco had written back to ask if the receptionist was Martha Jones, Donna Noble, or Rose Tyler. Jesse had suggested she poke into storage closets in search of the TARDIS and take note of any mysterious-looking pocket-watches. Iris had just texted question marks, to which Cisco had replied, “No, the Fourth through Seventh doctors didn’t really use the John Smith alias as much. Though if he’s got question marks on his clothing, Cait, send us a picture.” Iris had written back to inform Cisco that literally none of that made sense. Cisco had sent Iris an Amazon link to stream the original series. But now, Iris had ended the group text, and Caitlin was staring at a line on the form, labeled helpfully, “Next of Kin.”

Twenty years ago, Michael Snow would have filled out the box for Caitlin, with his name and address.

Fifteen years ago, Caitlin would have done the box herself, writing in the name “Carla Tannhauser” and anxiously asking her mom to remind her of their new address.

Ten years ago, she would have listed Grandfather, happy and secure in the knowledge that the doors were always open for her at a little house just outside of Coast City.

Five years ago, she would have listed Grandmother, knowing deep down that Grandmother was the only person she had left, even if her mind wasn’t what it used to be.

Two years ago, she would have written Ronnie’s name in her neatest handwriting, with a little flutter at the sight of her ring hand holding the clipboard.

Two months ago, she would have jotted down, “N/A” and moved on to the next question with a little aftertaste of regret in her mouth.

Now she twiddled the pen anxiously, wondering absently why such a simple question brought up so many complicated emotions. She could put Grandmother, but that was hardly fair. The whole point of the next-of-kin question was to identify someone who Caitlin’s records could be released to if something happened to her, and Grandmother wasn’t really capable of fulfilling that responsibility at the moment. She could put Iris or Cisco down, but she wasn’t sure she ever wanted anyone on the team to see those papers. Caitlin had done an internship in a psychology office, and she’d seen far too many of those files. She knew all too well how harrowing the details of trauma could look, set down in black and white on form after form. If Cisco, Iris, or anyone on the team was going to hear about Zoom, it should be coming from her. Caitlin skipped the question and moved on.

But the rest of the forms were easy: boxes to check or leave blank, which left her with twenty minutes until Dr. Smith could see her, a blank line on the form, and a small sentence running circles around the back of her mind. _Mom, I’m sorry I never tried to find you again._

Zoom’s hands had been around her neck, and his eyes had been rabid. She’d run quickly over her life, bidding a hasty farewell to the things she cared about. The thought had leaped into her mind nimbly, as if it had been lurking somewhere in a shadowy recess, waiting for an excuse to slink into the light. _Mom, I’m sorry I never tried to find you again._

It wasn’t precisely a true thought, if she was honest. It had never been about finding her mom. The number had been right there, programmed into her phone the whole time. Caitlin had never really found the courage to delete it, even though she hadn’t spoken to her mother in over ten years. But she’d never been able to call her. _Wow, I’m a mess._ Here she was, in a therapist’s office, trying to figure out whether to call her long-estranged mother--and that wasn’t even what she was in therapy for.

 _I need help._ But if there was anything that her time as Zoom’s captive had taught her, it was that she should always look for ways to help herself. This was easy: a quick tap to the “Send” button. The ending of a cold war. Her mom would know she was alive. So simple.

Caitlin scribbled down “Joe West”--he’d probably seen all sorts of weird stuff put down on paper--and handed the forms to the receptionist. “Can I step outside for a second?” she asked, leaning over the counter and smiling winningly. “I just have a quick phone call to make.”

The other woman grinned brightly. “Of course! I’ll come get you when Dr. Smith is ready for you.”

Caitlin thanked her, then stumbled out of the office to lean against a wall in the hallway. She pressed the “Send” button without looking at it, shoving her hand deep into her pocket to stop her fingers from itching for the “End Call” button.

“Who is this, and how did you get my daughter’s phone?” Her mother’s tone was as acerbic as ever.

“It’s me. Caitlin.”

There was a breath over the other line. Then Carla Tannhauser spoke firmly. “Caitlin, you need to tell me who’s hurting you. They’re not going to get away with this.”

A laugh and a sob collided in Caitlin’s throat like neutrons and protons in an accelerator. “Mom, I’m fine.”

There was a stony silence. “So Mr. Ramon lied.”

“Cisco didn’t lie. I was kidnapped, but I escaped.”

“Oh.” In the silence that followed, Caitlin could distantly hear her mother breathing deeply. It was her favorite strategy for trying to regain control of herself after a shock. There was something malicious in Caitlin that swelled with pride to see how transparent Carla Tannhauser was after all these years. She was so easy to hurt, and with a few well-placed words, Caitlin could have brought her down.

But she was far too busy to bring her mother down--busy reevaluating and readjusting her perceptions of her mother based on her own life. _Maybe Mom was afraid of him. I never thought--it must have been so hard for her, trying to be Dr. Tannhauser and Mom. Knowing every day that I wished she were more like Dad. There must have been nothing left, no place for her to be herself. And then the knowledge that she’d failed so utterly as a parent that the courts gave me to my grandparents, the bitter truth that I hated her and wanted nothing to do with her, ever. Maybe, the whole time, she was trying.  
_

_Maybe not, but at least I should try and see._

She spoke as if to an answering machine, with no room for a rejoinder. If her mother interrupted her, she might never say what she had to. “Hey, Mom. I know it’s been awhile, and I’m sorry about that. Can you just--hear something that--that I need to say? When I was kidnapped--there was a moment where I really thought I was going to die. And it was so scary, and I suddenly felt like there were millions of loose ends. Like amputating a finger--there’s no clean way to do it, and no matter how you make the cut, it’s still going to be jagged, because the bones, muscles, skin, blood vessels--they were all supposed to continue through. And I guess that staring down the reality of looking in someone’s eyes and knowing that they were about to kill me--I guess that doing that made me realize that I’d always intended to fix things between us. I’d just always assumed I’d be able to find the time, someday." She swallowed a sob. "But--Mom, in the next month, there’s a pretty high chance that I’m going to die." Saying it made it real, a bare open fact that she had to accept. But she pushed past it, ignoring the uncomfortable weight in her stomach. "I’ve been sitting, waiting for a therapy session, and I was just realizing how messed up everything’s been. There was a box where I could say who my next of kin was, and I just couldn’t stop thinking about you. I mean, everything you ever told me came true--a-about being a woman in a man’s world, and staying away from people who tried to control you, and not accepting pity, and picking a few really good friends and latching on to them--Mom, you were right the whole time. I looked in the mirror this morning, and the way I purse my lips now...it looks just like you. I guess, I’m beginning to see things from a different angle, and I guess I just don’t want you to always remember me as an ungrateful brat? I got three degrees, I fell in love with a guy, got engaged to him, lost him, found him, married him, and then--I-I skipped his memorial service, because--Mom, there wasn’t even a body when he died." She didn't have the ability to repress her sobs anymore. _Ronnie._ "He was a hero, but I never asked for that. Anyway, the last thing he said to me was that he had to try. And I guess that goes for here, too. I’ve kind of been spilling my guts, I know, and you never liked it when I did that, but please, just _say something_.”

Caitlin paused, suddenly uncomfortably aware of how long she’d been talking. Down the hall, she could hear the steady hum of the other offices, patients and doctors talking, a collective babble that was the sound of “moving on.”

“Well, it sounds like we have a lot to talk about.” _Does she sound--tired?_ “Listen, Caitlin. Learning that you’d been kidnapped was--frightening, I'll admit. I think we can both agree that we both have a lot to make up for. I’ll let you get to your appointment, but it would be nice if we could find a time to meet in person. Maybe when the threat of imminent death is far away.”

Something in Caitlin’s legs buckled, and she slid down the wall, drying her eyes and steadying her breathing mechanically  _What have I gotten myself into? This isn’t happening._ “Sure thing. I’ll call when the worst of this mess has died down.”

Carla laughed over the phone. “So, in other words, you don’t anticipate being safe in the near future?”

“Nope. I’d give more details, but now’s not the time.”

“Alright. We’ll save it for the face-to-face. Talk later?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh--Caitlin--one more thing?” There was something regretful in her mother’s voice.

“Yes, Mom?”

It was like she was trying to get the sentence out as a single unit, like swallowing a pill whole. “If I’d known that your husband died, I would have reached out.”

She nearly hung up the phone. The last thing she wanted was this woman’s pity. Caitlin forced herself to reevaluate. _Not pity. Understanding._ “Thanks. That means a lot. Anyway, I’ve got to go. The receptionist is signaling me through the glass.”

“We’ll talk later, Caitlin.”

Caitlin pressed the “End Call” button, hugging the phone to herself for a second before dumping it back in her purse. She pulled out a pocket mirror to make sure that none of her bruises were showing too much before she summoned all her courage to enter the office.

* * *

**_ Cisco _ **

Cisco really wasn’t okay. The woman on the monitor screen had ripped through his perceptions. His world was disjointed like a kaleidoscope, barely connecting, like there was static interference blocking transmission to his life.

Laurel Lance. Black Canary. His first major crush. The legendary DA of Starling City.

And yet not.

Laurel Lance was dead, he remembered blankly, the words floating up from the back of his mind. He remembered getting the news: Felicity on the phone, calling for Barry, barely able to choke out a sentence. But at that point, the words hadn’t really connected: he’d been floundering in so much grief ( _Barry, Jesse, Harry, Caitlin, gone, gone, gone, gone_ ). He vaguely remembered registering the fact that the universe seemed to be targeting everyone who meant the slightest hint of anything to him.

But here was this woman on the monitor. According to Tess’s diagnostics, her name was still Dinah Laurel Lance, but on Earth-2 she was Black Siren, metahuman, ex-cop, law school dropout, known associate of Zoom. After everything--Barry’s speed, what happened to Caitlin--Zoom was still playing with them, tugging on the threads that made up their minds, pulling at everything that Laurel Lance meant to the team.

To Cisco, that was so much. Laurel had kind, laughing eyes. She hadn’t really reciprocated Cisco’s crush, but she’d taken it in stride. Laurel had hit rock bottom, and clawed her way back up. The other Starling vigilantes fought for their own reasons, but Laurel fought to honor her sister, who had died and come back to life twice. Laurel’s doors were always open for anyone who needed help, and she was a tireless defender. There was nobody she wouldn’t fight to save. Cisco had met her when she needed help updating her sister’s sonic device. He hadn’t been able to stop his hands from waving wildly as he geeked out over everything she was. She’d smiled indulgently and snapped a selfie with him. His adoration had only crystallized.

Now Laurel Lance was somewhere beneath a stone in Starling City Cemetery, and somebody who wasn’t her, would never be her, was here, alive, on the streets. He wanted to think that it wasn’t fair, but he knew that the multiverse didn’t give a damn for what he thought was fair.

Instead, he took a deep, steadying breath, closing his eyes. When he opened his eyes, the kaleidoscope had shifted back into reality. Cisco put his hands on the keyboard and began to type.

* * *

**_ Caitlin _ **

John Smith turned out to be a tall, gangly redhead, who surveyed Caitlin in a clinical, detached manner while still managing to make it clear that he saw every bruise on her face, makeup be damned. He already had all the facts that Iris had known, but he wanted to hear the full story from her. He didn’t even seem bothered that she worked with the Flash. She explained that the Flash associated with the lab in both his civilian and heroic identities, and how should she refer to him? Dr. Smith, with a bland smile, indicated that she should call the Flash “Ben” if she was uncomfortable saying his name. He also reminded her that everything she said was bound by doctor-patient confidentiality.

She told Dr. Smith the whole story, eventually, calling Barry “Ben”. To his credit, he didn’t seem too taken aback by all her talk of alternate Earths. Unlike the therapist she’d tried after Ronnie’s first death, he didn't ask her once how an occurrence made her _feel_ , or what she wished she could _say_ to a person. He just let her tell the story in her own way. When she finished, there was a silence. He asked briefly about what trauma symptoms she’d been experiencing; she described her dreams and hallucinations. Dr. Smith nodded and jotted something down.

Then he crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair. “So, Caitlin, what are your plans for the future?”

“Sorry, what?”

He tapped his pen on his clipboard. “Are you planning to stay in the city?”

Caitlin was mildly taken aback. “Of course. I work with Ben. I need to help take Zoom down. My team is counting on me. If I’m not there, every step of the way, on my A-game, then we don’t have a prayer of stopping him.”

Dr. Smith scribbled something down. “I see. So you feel that the fate of the city rests in your hands?”

“Well, not precisely, but sort of. I’d say I feel that the fate of the city is largely in my team’s hands.”

Dr. Smith smiled ingratiatingly. “Ah. And would you say that this is causing you stress? I can imagine that it could be difficult to feel like so much is riding on you.”

Caitlin shook her head. “I’m used to it by now.”

“Caitlin, you do want to recover, right? If I was a relay runner, and I’d sprained my ankle, would you advise me to enter the Olympics? Even if you knew my team didn’t have a backup for me and might even lose the medal because I stayed out?”

 _Oh no. No. I’m not going to--he doesn’t mean--_ “What are you saying?” She could feel the pitch of her voice rising frantically, even as she knew it was an overreaction. _I can’t lose this. It’s all I have left. Nobody gets to take this away!_

He smiled sympathetically. “Caitlin, you’re okay. This is a safe space, remember? Nobody’s going to make you do anything you don’t want to do. But my advice to you would be to leave the team. I understand the urge to confront him, but it’s generally best in the case of trauma as significant as yours to take a bit of a break. You know, relax, get away from some of the stress. I can’t help you if you don’t help yourself, Caitlin. Everyone just wants you to be happy." He pinned her with a discerning gaze. "Honestly, are you happy right now? Does being responsible for saving the city make you happy?”

She felt lost, bombarded with this wave of argument, buried under logic. Of course, everything he was saying made perfect sense. _What can I say? What?_ “I don’t know.”

He nodded and made another note. “Alright, Caitlin. Take some time off and really think about what you want. I advise no stress whatsoever for two weeks. If I were you, I’d go on vacation. Get a bit of sun, have some fun. Then, when you’re back, try and find something else to do, something a bit less draining, alright? By all means, stick to what you know--I mean, I’m not saying you should go be an accountant or something. Just--maybe not saving the world six times before breakfast. Okay?” She nodded her assent numbly, clutching her bag with frozen hands as she rose from the couch. He walked her out. “See you in a month, Caitlin. Take that vacation--I mean it. Have a nice day!”

She didn’t pick up when Iris called to ask how it went. _I thought that being on the team was what made me happy.  
_

_Do they even need me? Really?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time: Harry tries to help Caitlin, Jesse and Wally strategize, and Cisco grapples with Reverb's impact on him.
> 
> I wrote this chapter before Carla showed up on the Flash and felt too lazy to revise based on her portrayal there. Basically, my interpretation is that both of them wanted to reconnect, but they were both worried that the other one was still mad at them, etc. so neither made a move.
> 
> Thanks for reading and happy New Year!!


	53. Harry, Jesse, Cisco

**_ Harry _ **

Harry heard the door gently click shut as Snow entered the lab. He’d expected it to slam violently--he was willing to bet therapy didn’t go well. There was no earthly way that therapy and Snow mixed.

“How was therapy, Snow?”

She was bending over her microscope. “Fine.” Her tone was flat and dead.

He gave her thirty seconds. “How was therapy, Snow?”

She didn’t even raise her voice. “I already told you. It was fine. Why did you ask again?” She asked the question as if she didn’t care about the answer. 

“I raised a daughter, Snow. I’m acquainted with the deeper meaning of the word “ _Fine_.” What, specifically, did the therapist tell you?”

“He said I’m fine, and I’ll recover,” Snow said neutrally.

“Really? Is that true?” Snow ignored him, reaching blindly for another slide. He arrested her hand halfway there. For a split second, she froze, partway through a breath. Then she lashed out, flinging an empty beaker in his direction, breaking her gaze away from the microscope and dashing for the corner, where she grabbed one of his screwdrivers and stood at bay, wielding her weapon as if it were a sword. He raised his hands above his head. “He’s not here, Caitlin. And you’re not fine.”

Caitlin sank down against the wall. “Sorry. I couldn’t see to the side, so I thought you were him.” Harry extended a hand to help her up, but she rose on her own. 

“Snow, what did Dr. Smith say?”

“Nothing. Tell Cisco I’m fine.”

He was getting frustrated now. “Ramon didn’t put me up to this. He and West have decided that you need time alone, so they’re not going to ask. If you want to talk to them, I can get them, though.”

She headed back to the microscope. “Leave me alone, Harry.”

He gave her five minutes before he tried again. “Snow, something is clearly bothering you. You’re not being half as subtle about this as you think you are.”

She whirled to face him. “Stop acting like him! Stop being so controlling! This is exactly the sort of thing he would do!”

He hadn’t meant to hurt her. “I’m sorry, Snow. I didn’t mean it like that. There is nobody alive, with the possible exception of you, who hates Zoom more than I do. And we’re going to take him out together.”

Snow didn’t move, didn’t even acknowledge that she’d heard him. When she finally spoke, it was almost a whisper. “No, I’m not.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean, Snow?”

She gave a little sigh. “Nothing, Harry. Just leave me alone.”

He wasn’t giving up that easily. “Snow, Allen is going to win. We have to believe that.”

She sat down wearily. “Barry’s gonna win. Yeah.”

“So what do you mean, we’re not taking down Zoom?”

Snow rifled through equipment as she spoke. “My therapist says I won’t recover unless I quit the team.”

 _Oh_. “Well, are you going to?” She shrugged and bit her lip, worrying it like a dog with a bone. “Snow, the team needs you.”

Her voice was bitter, regret-laced. “Yeah, sure, with all the help I’ve been. I created what is possibly the most dangerous substance known to humanity, wasted everybody’s time with my grief and psychological issues, patched up a few of Barry’s wounds--and let’s face it, he barely needs me, what with his powers. Anything I’m missing? Oh yeah, I became the obsession of a serial killer, spied on and betrayed the entire team, and then got _kidnapped_! And you know what? Everyone functioned just fine without me, so why the _hell_ am I here? Answer me that, Harry! What does this team really need me for?” Snow’s voice climbed uncontrollably, and she was beginning to hyperventilate.

He couldn’t fix this, and it was getting to him. “I don’t know, Snow! What does it need me for?” he yelled

There was a tense silence in the wake of his question, broken as she began to laugh hysterically. “Easy. You’re our Earth-2 expert. You can build anything you put your mind to. You’re one of the only people who can get through to Barry these days. You helped Barry and Iris hold Cisco together while Hunter had me. And when you got kidnapped, you came out of it in one piece.”

“Snow, there’s really not a comparison between hours and weeks. You did the best you could. Are you going to let him win?”

She smiled wanly. “I was messed up before I ever met him. And this team doesn’t need to waste valuable time and manpower babysitting me.”

“You need to stop talking about this team like you’re not on it. You have supported every member of this team through thick and thin. Did you really think they wouldn’t do that much for you?”

Snow remained unmoved. _Jesse would be so much better at this._ “I don’t _want_ to need supporting. Everyone’s time is far better spent stopping Zoom.”

Harry advanced along the counter, getting himself right into her face. “Dammit, Snow, work with me here. Why are you so afraid to stay with the team? And don’t tell me it’s that you want to heal, because somebody whose primary concern was healing would _let_ their team worry about them!”

She held herself poker-straight. “Why do you care? Are you going to use me as bait for Zoom, is that it? You really _can’t_ think of anything better I can do here than be eye-candy for a serial killer.”

“Snow, stop dodging the question,” he growled.

Her fingers tightened convulsively against the desktop. “You want to know? It’s that I don’t want to let anyone dictate what I say or do anymore. I was vulnerable to Hunter because I was used to supporting people who were hurting, and used to doing what people said I should do. And look where that got me! And now everyone’s fussing over me, and I am just _sick_ of it, because I would die for any of these people in a heartbeat, and yet I’m a liability! How long until someone else betrays my trust? How long until--all this--” she gestured expressively to the cup of tea placed on the desk, the blanket draped over the chair, the stuffed bear nestled next to the computer, the box of extra-soft tissues balanced on a centrifuge “makes me used to being a naïve, trusting idiot?”

“So you wish you were a free agent, is that it?” he challenged.

“Yes. Are you going to tell me that’s wrong?”

He shrugged. “Your choice, but I will say that it’s a hell of a lonely job description.” Silence.

Snow started clicking around her computer. “Snow, I’m almost done here, but answer me this: do you think Allen liked being paralyzed in a chair, watching you and me and Ramon doing everything that he was supposed to?”

“No, but--”

He barreled right over her. “How about this--if you took it in your head to manipulate Ramon, would he trust you?”

“Yes, but you’re only proving my point--”

“One last question, Snow. If Ramon, or Allen, or Iris, or Jesse, or even Joe needed you, really needed you, and you’d left, for Chicago or Coast City or wherever--would you come back?”

That one took her some time. “Yes,” she admitted softly. 

“Here’s the thing, Snow. You’re never going to be a free agent. Nobody’s a free agent until everyone they love is dead. I will tell you this, though--having ties, like everything in life, requires a certain risk. But that risk is shared equally by everyone. Ramon, Jesse--they are all at just as much risk from you as you are from them. You can’t ever change that, just like you can’t change the fact that anyone on this team could get injured or betrayed or even sick at any moment, thereby becoming a liability. But do you really want to hurt your friends by cutting yourself out of their lives? Every bit that you need them is a bit that they need you. So before you leave this team, ask yourself if you’re really prepared to make it a clean break. Never see any of them again. Because if that’s not the case, then your place is here, with them.”

Snow exhaled, and some invisible string holding her up seemed to snap, as if she’d finally given up pretending that she was alright. “I’ll think about staying. Thanks for being honest with me, Harry.”

“Any time, Snow.”

Ramon burst in, then. “Harry, that pulse. Have you found a decent insulator for the headset--oh. Cait, are you okay? Did something happen at therapy? I knew Dr. John Smith was shady--”

Snow pulled her head off the desk and blew her nose noisily into a tissue. “I’m fine, Cisco. I’ll tell you about it later. What’s the news from Black Siren?”

Ramon grimaced. “You know that bad idea I had?”

Snow laughed wetly, wiping her eyes ineffectually with her hands before grabbing another tissue. “You never told me what it was. Why? Do you need help?”

Ramon jerked a thumb. “Iris needs you upstairs. It’s...kind of hard to explain, but she needs you to try on her Halloween costume.”

Snow cast him a bemused expression, but left. After she closed the door, Ramon turned to Harry belligerently. “What the hell did you do, Harry?” _Dammit_.

“Ramon, she’s fine. I suggest you talk to her yourself instead of interrogating me.”

Ramon looked wary. “If I find out that--”

He didn’t have time for this. “I’ll be upstairs, working on the insulator.”

Ramon grumbled acquiescence. “We need it done by tonight--”

“It’ll be done by then.” Harry paused in the doorway. “Oh, and Ramon?”

“What?”

“I suggest you ask Ms. West to inform Dr. Smith that Snow will no longer be requiring his assistance. He's an idiot.”

* * *

_** Jesse ** _

Jesse leaned pensively out the window of Wally’s car, exhausted from a night of crimefighting and a day of house-hunting. “We did good.”

He took a swig from a water bottle. “Yep. We did.” For a second, he seemed to be about to say more, but Jesse’s phone buzzed in between them, and she scrambled for it hastily. “Is that Tina? Tell her about that nice alternate location we found her. She can pretty much move the scientists there tomorrow. Oh, and you’d better let her know about that equipment auction.”

Jesse only heard his words dimly as she squinted at the screen. “Actually, Harry just texted.”

Wally groaned. “How the hell does that guy know everything? Look, Jess, I’ll take the fall for last night. It was my idea, anyhow.”

She shrugged him off. “It looks like he doesn’t know. He’s texting to let me know that they’ve figured out how to take down the Earth-2 metas. Basically, they’re going to use resonating frequency--”

“Because Earth-2 residents vibrate at a higher frequency. Got it. It’ll shatter their nervous system--”

“No, it’ll knock them out, and then Barry can handle cleanup. Harry wants me back at the lab--everybody’s gonna stay there until this is over.’

Wally raised an eyebrow. “Barry?”

Jesse shrugged. “Guess so.”

He groaned loudly. “Really? He’s not going to watch Zoom and make sure the job gets done? Really? Anything could happen--Zoom could just reach for a pair of earplugs, and then where would we be?” He paused suddenly. “Jess--no way. Jess, you are not thinking what I think you’re thinking.”

She shot him a challenging glance. “Why not?”

Wally sighed. “Jess, this is Zoom we’re talking about. We don’t have the skills for this.”

A very insane, very dangerous plan was beginning to crystallize in Jesse’s mind. _Those tests..._ “You’re right, we don’t.”  
He crumpled back into his chair with relief. “Good. Let’s call Barry and see if we can convince him to--” Wally trailed off, staring at her. _Let him stare._

“Hey, Wally? Funny story. Did I tell you what happened this morning?” She spoke lightly, almost playfully.

“Jesse, don’t brush me off like this--”

“Jay came up to get some coffee, and ran smack into Henry. And Henry turned to Barry, and was like, “Hey slugger, who’s this,” and Barry just stared--and then Henry took a closer look and he was like, “Um, slugger, what’s going on?” and now Henry’s left town because Jay creeps him out, and he--he knows that Barry can take down Zoom without him.”

There was a silence. “So?” Wally challenged. “The point?”

Jesse took a deep breath. “Barry’s too afraid to take out Zoom. Maybe he’s afraid to turn into Zoom, or maybe he’s just scared because he wants to be invincible, and if Zoom defeats him, then that means that the universe isn’t on his side, and going into the Speed Force was for nothing. But everyone thinks Barry’s going to, just like Henry does. We’re all trusting Barry to see this through, but we never _thought_ about the magnitude of what we were asking him to do.”

Wally turned to face her. “C’mon, Jess, this is serious stuff you’re talking about--”

“And what we did tonight--what is that to you, a game?”

“You promised Harry that you’d stay alive--”

“I know I did, Wally--just--just hear me out, okay?”

He puffed out a breath. “Fine, Jess. Shoot.”

 _Here I go._ “Remember that coma I was in?”

Wally grimaced expressively. “You mean the one where I was worried sick about you, but your dad wouldn’t let me in to see you and my dad wouldn’t leave my side, and I felt guilty for an entire week thinking it might be my fault if you were dead, because I didn’t stop you fast enough? Yeah, I think that rings a bit of a bell.” He swigged from the water bottle again.

Jesse inhaled, trying to release the knotted tension in her stomach. “I think I was in the Speed Force.”

Wally spluttered and coughed, spraying water all through the car. “The--what? Like as in the same place Barry was? Wait--do you have speed powers, too?”

She shook her head. “Not that I know of. But listen--Zoom knows Barry was in the Speed Force. He was all through the lab that night. There’s no way he doesn’t at least suspect that one of us might have gotten whammied with the Speed Force.”

He spoke shakily. “Jesse--think about your--uncle. Dad. Alternate universe dad. Whatever--you know, Harry. You can’t do this to him. What are you even thinking of doing? Turning yourself in to Zoom and telling him you’re a speedster? What does that even accomplish? Jess--you’re not a speedster, right?’

She placed a hand on his arm to steady him. “Wally, I know I’m not a speedster, but the Speed Force did speak to me when I was in there.”

Wally seemed skeptical. “What did it say?”

She tried to remember. “I think--that I should be ready. For--something. Wally, I think this is it--what the Speed Force wanted me to be ready for.”

He wasn’t impressed. “Hell of a logic leap to bet your life on.”

“Wally, you said you’d hear me out. I don’t think I’m a speedster, yet.”

“What d’you mean, _yet_ \--” 

She cut him off. “But I do think that, because I was in the Speed force, I’m going to have a high V-9 tolerance.”

“How do you-- _oh_. You had Caitlin do your bloodwork to see if you had any new metagenes, and then you took the samples and ran tests yourself.”

She smirked. “Sometimes the good old biochem major comes in handy.”

He sighed, running a hand through his hair anxiously. “V-9? Isn’t that what killed X? Your friend the scientist? And even if you have a high tolerance, is that going to be enough to distract Zoom?

“I’m not going to fight him, Wall. But listen, I need you in on it too. I swiped some holo equipment from Cisco’s storage--the password is still “ _password_ ”, even though Leonard Snart guessed it last year.”

Wally took a deep breath, clutching reflexively at his armrest. “What do you need me for?”

“Don’t you want to be in on it? I thought you could operate the holo equipment and make him think I created a time remnant. That way he won’t know who to attack.”

She gnawed the inside of her lip as she waited for his answer. “Jess, why? And why me?”

“Wally--you’re my best friend. And I...I thought you wanted this too. We both want to help people. And--there is literally no one in the world I’d trust more to have my back.”

He snorted. “Did you really just simultaneously friend-zone me and ask me to go on a suicide mission?”

Jesse sighed. “Really, Wally? I make a dramatic speech, and all you hear is “friend-zone”? I thought you knew you could be my boyfriend. If you want to be.”

Wally had her hand in his, and he had been rubbing circles in it for quite some time. She tried to remember how long he’d been doing it, but she must not have noticed him picking it up. “Is that a question? Yes, I want to be.” They sat in silence. 

Wally chuckled suddenly. “What?” Jesse said.

“I was just thinking that we beat Barry and Iris to it. I mean, I get it’s kind of weird, and we haven’t been friends all that long, but what the hell? I like you, you like me, and we could die anytime in the next few weeks.”

“Isn’t that the plot to West Side Story? And Romeo and Juliet?”

He groaned. “Don’t remind me of your dad. Did Lord Capulet murder Romeo with a laser gun?”

She smirked and squeezed his hand. “I’ll steal his ammo.”

Wally snorted. “You better. Anyway--you really want to do this?”

The thought brought her back to Earth. “Wall, I want to--try this out, but not like this. Not with Zoom. And I’m worried about Harry. Every day, I see him with Cait, and he’s so upset, because Zoom hurt someone else, and he sees Tess when he looks at her, and he feels like if he’d figured out that the Flash was Zoom earlier, then none of this would ever have happened, and nobody would have gotten hurt. I found CCPD blueprints on his desk, and he’s making ammo for his guns every spare second he gets and I can’t stop thinking that he’s going to go in alone and Zoom’s going to--”

“Breathe.” Wally’s hands were on her shoulders, and his eyes were concerned. She complied, and he sat back. “You want to do this? Fine. But we should take time, and--think about this--”

The police radio in the front of the car crackled menacingly, spewing forth an alarming stream of numbers. Wally’s hand tensed in Jesse’s. She glanced at him, but he wouldn’t meet her eyes. “What’s that?”

It was a long time before he spoke. “They’re sending in a squad to go make sure Zoom’s taken out. I don’t know which one, but--”

“Your dad.” He looked up at her, and the urgency and desperation in his eyes broke Jesse’s heart. Then he turned back to the steering wheel.

“We need to go right now.” She buckled in. _I hope this works._

* * *

**_ Cisco _ **

_Thank goodness for small mercies._ He’d taken to counting his blessings in an attempt to lead the way to optimism by example. _We still live, Dante emailed an update yesterday and said he thinks I could come to dinner, Caitlin smiled today, Barry’s agreed to let Jay help train him, and Reverb’s jacket is actually sort of comfy._ He shuddered in sympathy for Caitlin, who was now undoubtedly being laced into a leather corset by Iris.

He looked in the mirror and straightened his shoulders. “Siren.” No, that sounded like he was trying to pick Black Siren up at a bar. “Siren.” It was his prized, no-fail, surefire Darth Vader imitation. But it wasn’t enough. “Siren.” It wasn’t the chilling voice that whispered up and down his dreams all night, snaking through his thoughts, calling to him relentlessly, telling him he wasn’t enough, that no matter how hard he decided he was fighting for good, for his friends, he would always inevitably drown in the dark pooling wells inside of him, always betray everyone he loved. He was only human, after all, and humans erred. _I’m human, and that’s good. If I’m not human, then I’m gone._

He could feel it inside right now, great inky black lakes that were dragging him down into the most despicable parts of himself. _I can do this. I still live._ Cisco took a deep breath and grabbed hold of his power. _I’m still human. My friends need me. It’s okay if I make mistakes, it’s okay if I’m not enough, because I’m not giving in yet._

It was intoxicating. Every square centimeter of him was teeming with life, and he could feel every vibration within a mile. _I can control this._ Every object thrummed with a single humming chord, that was sound but not audible, an unseen, intangible wave. _I don’t have to use it unless I want to--no, unless I need to, because if I do this just because I want to, then I’m a narcissistic sociopath._ Cisco was in the epicenter of the quake, and any one of these waves could be quelled with a single thought. _But I won’t._ In a fraction of a second’s worth of thought, Cisco could still the entire chord. _I could get a bit of peace and quiet for once--but I can’t, because this is only for when I need it, and I have to stay strong. This isn’t like that bar of chocolate-for-emergencies Caitlin kept in the medbay. I don’t get to rationalize this to myself with “_ nobody will notice _” and “_ this _is_ an emergency _”, or “_ I need to try this out and see if it’s as good as it looks _”, or even “_ maybe if I do it just this once, I’ll stop being tempted to do it _.”_

He spoke again. “Siren.” This time, it was right. It was Reverb--mellifluous, yet dangerous, cyanide-laced chocolate. He spoke again, feeling the rush of sheer cruel power it gave him. “With you by our side, we’d be unstoppable.” He looked straight ahead, imagining a slow smile curving across Lau-- _Black Siren_ ’s face. 

He caught Reverb’s eyes through the goggles and the mirror, and he was back again, on the ground in the alleyway, but he was in both places at once, tormentor and tormented, because all along they were two halves of the same coin. These abilities weren’t truly his, because they were Reverb’s, because those depths of his hatred that he didn’t want to acknowledge belonged to Reverb, because he was Reverb and Cisco was a mask he wore. _Oh, come off your high horse, Paco, Dante said, snatching his ninth-grade math homework from his fifth-grade hands and changing the name on top from Cisco to Dante, and suddenly he just wanted to be left alone, and he threw out his hands to shove Dante away. Dante stumbled back and fell on the ground, lying there with his legs all twisted up in places they shouldn’t be, and a teacher came hurrying over and screamed for someone to call 911 but something in Cisco laughed, because there was a plainly marked sign that said the floor was wet, and Cisco was feet away from Dante, so how could it have been anything but an accident?_ He shook his head, like a dog shaking water off its coat, as if his head were a pen that wasn’t dispensing ink properly, because that never happened, he’d let Dante take his homework, because he’d gotten in the habit of printing an extra one, and there were ten minutes until math, so he could make it happen, even though he’d kind of wished he could find his friend Melinda, who was in his grade and also doing math here, because he’d wanted to know if she’d seen the new Star Wars yet.

Cisco looked up to see that he’d smashed the mirror. Seven years of bad luck. _Does the bad luck I’ve already had count against that? Like when I decided to take the STAR Labs interview instead of the PalmerTech one by playing Eenie Meenie Meinie Mo. How much bad luck is that worth--two years, three? What about when I stayed after in the other timeline to talk to Dr. Wells? Isn’t that an entire lifetime cut short, fifty-plus years that never happened, shouldn’t that pay off this debt?_

He took deep yoga breaths, in and out and in and out, trying to find some sort of inner refuge, something to hold onto tonight, when he would gamble for his humanity against Reverb, betting shards of Cisco on every roll of the dice.

There was a knock on the door. “Hey, you okay in there?”

 _Caitlin_. She didn’t need to worry about him. “Yeah, fine.” He hoped Reverb’s voice hadn’t crept into that sentence. 

She sighed dramatically outside the door. “Hypocrite.”

 _What...oh_. He laughed weakly. “Never going to let me live that down, are you? I’m fine, really.”

“Are you dressed? I’m coming in.”

“Caitlin...”

He could hear her outside the door, pacing. “Alright, Cisco. If you really want to be left alone, I’ll respect that. Do you want to be left alone?”

He gulped. “No.” Maybe having Cait around would hold Reverb off.

She pushed the door open, hunched over slightly, because she’d always been insecure and she didn’t really like wearing overtly revealing outfits. He didn’t comment on how good she looked, because he knew it would either make her more embarrassed, remind her of Zoom, or perhaps remind her of Ronnie, if he made a joke about it. Even now, noticing him watching her, she was pulling herself further in like a snail. “You okay?” he asked.

She smiled uncomfortably, squirming against Killer Frost’s outfit. “Not great, but I’ll be fine. What happened in here?”

Dammit, she was just like his second-grade teacher--her eyes just looked right through him. She knew something was up, and there wasn’t any use in trying to fool her. He shifted guiltily. “I smashed a mirror. I was trying to get the voice right, and--Cait, it was like I was Reverb. It was--horrible. I just started imagining all these horrible things I might have done if I’d had these powers sooner. And--Cait, it’s horrible. I’m horrible.”

“I’m sorry. Do you need me to take point on this one? I can, if you want.” She grabbed a water-bottle off a table and held it out to him.

He waved it away. “Cait, she might ask for a demonstration or something, just to prove we’re who we say we are. I have my powers, and you don’t. I can do this, I promise. Do you trust me?”

She nodded. “Of course I trust you. Cisco, if I didn’t trust you, I wouldn’t be about to parade myself in front of a dangerous meta in this stupid outfit.” She paused, deliberating. “Hey, speaking of that, could you do me a bit of a favor? Iris says the wig is too flat--it needs more “lift and volume”, apparently, and a hairdryer would melt it. So she thought you could...”

Cisco sighed. “She thought it would be easier for me to use my highly dangerous, very unreliable superpower to make your hair big. Sheesh, Cait, I’ll just build a non-melting hairdryer. Or did she try it on low heat? The fan setting wouldn’t melt it.”

Caitlin shrugged nonchalantly. “I think she just wanted an excuse for someone to talk to you.”

He’d guessed as much. “Cait, go tell her to use the fan setting. If I did it, I’d take your head off.” She nodded, but he could tell she was far away. “Cait, if you bite your lip, Iris’ll have to redo your lipstick.”

Another nod. “I won’t bite it.” For a moment, there was a pause, as if she were teetering on the edge of telling him something. He held himself completely still, because if she was considering trusting him, he didn’t want to frighten her. Finally, she swallowed and leaned forward. “I _see_ him, Cisco. Every time my guard’s down. He’ll just pop up behind me, and--he said he’d kill me. And every time, I think he’s going to. The first few days, I thought I’d mark it on my calendar, so that I’d see it going away gradually. But it’s gotten worse--”

“I hear Reverb in my sleep,” he blurted. She broke off, staring at him. He elaborated. “Every night, it’s like he’s talking to me, and--I can feel my power, and every time I touch it, I feel like I’m going to turn into him. It’s like it comes from the very worst part of me--like it’s powered by hatred, and anger--”

Caitlin smiled. “So that’s why you made all those analogies about the Dark Side.”

“I didn’t know I could hate that much.” He wasn’t sure what to say next. 

“Neither did I.”

“How did you find out?” The words came before he had a chance to think through their implications. You know damn well how she found out.

“Hunter.” Caitlin spoke abstractedly, playing with a strand of hair. “The whole time, he was trying to--I don’t know, maybe make me see his side of things? He said I had an inner darkness, and he set out trying to prove it. I--” she swallowed again. “I said some horrible things, I thought worse things. Cisco--do you remember that time Barry made me take the Hippocratic Oath?”

Of course he remembered. They’d barely known Barry for a week, and he’d just gotten patched up again. It was the second (or maybe the third) time that had happened. He’d woken up and taken a second to figure out where he was. When he remembered, he’d winked at Caitlin. “You a doctor?” he’d asked.

She’d huffed, because she hadn’t been in a good emotional place back then, which had meant that she was often irritable. “Of biochemistry. Is this going to be a reoccurring thing, me stitching up your gunshot wounds?”

Barry had sighed. “You’re not a medical doctor?”

Cisco had stepped in then to defend Cait, because she was just as skilled as any doctor on the planet.

“You’d better take the Hippocratic Oath, then, if you’re going to keep on treating me.”

She’d protested, because she was Caitlin, but Cisco had found a copy of the Oath online, and she’d sworn it on a biochemistry textbook.

“Yeah, I remember.”

Caitlin fidgeted nervously. “First, do no harm. Hunter--he made me realize that there are people I’d hurt without looking back. Him. Eiling.” She lowered her voice to a whisper. “Thawne.”

He laughed. “We’re so messed up. Did we do something to deserve this?”

She gave a faint smile. “We took a job interview. And then we were loyal to someone who didn’t deserve it.”

A sudden wave of fear washed over him, carrying images of Barry’s face, lined and seamed like Jay Garrick’s, Caitlin with grey hair, limping through the Cortex. “How long do you think we can keep doing this?”

Her mouth tightened. “My therapist told me I should leave. Said staying would be like running the Olympics on a sprain.” 

“We’ll have to stop eventually.”

Caitlin shook her head. “I’m not leaving. See, we got into this by being loyal to Thawne, but we’re still in it because we’re loyal to Barry. And to each other.”

He beckoned her over. “C’mere. Let’s see if we can backcomb it or something. If we’re gonna do this, we’d better not have Black Siren murder us because she doesn’t like your hairdo.”

She sat down in front of him, strangely passive. He grabbed the hairbrush she held out and started work. 

“He liked my hair. He played with it a lot.”

He waited for her to continue.

“Cisco, by the time we stop, what sort of messed up people are we going to be? It’s not even been two years.”

He sighed. “Cait, we have to try. It’s all we can do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time: Jesse and Wally take a decisive action, Harry struggles with the consequences of that action, and Caitlin prepares to face down her demons.


	54. Jesse, Harry, Caitlin

**_ Jesse _ **

Wally drove straight to CCPD at what Jesse assumed was his top speed, detouring only to pick up the V-9 and holo equipment. He gripped the steering wheel like it was a lifeline, ran every red light, and didn’t speak a word the entire ride. Jesse was reduced to checking her phone, watching as text after anxious text came in from Harry, asking where she was, why wasn’t her phone on, please would she call him when she got this, the pulse was going to go off at 8:30 on the dot, and she should try to make it back to the lab before then, Joe said his son was missing and was she out with him, had Harry done something to make her mad, if she was alright, could she just text him so he could stop worrying--

She switched her phone off, trying to ignore the guilt welling up in her chest.

Wally parked a block from CCPD at 8:25. “How long does V-9 last?” His voice was low, thick and hoarse with suppressed-- _fear? Anger? Anxiety?_

She tried not to think about what she was about to do. “If my calculations were correct, then I can handle about ten minutes’ worth.”

“How much have you got?” She reached for his hand on the steering wheel. He didn’t push her away, but he didn’t relax his hold either. She rubbed the back of his hand gently, because they both could use the comfort.

“Nine minutes, roughly.”

Wally nodded curtly. He looked like Barry--eyes focused on some far-off goal, face set in a determined mask. “Could the pulse take more than four minutes to take Zoom out?”

“No.” She looked like Barry as well--inscrutable, a woman on a mission. Jesse gave her rearview mirror-self a smile, and watched, relieved, as her face became her own once more.

“Is the holo equipment tricky to use? Where do I project from?”  
She swallowed. This new, determined Wally was strange to her, wasn’t the flirty, quipping boy she’d traded banter with on the streets last night. It was the difference between when Barry faced Captain Cold and when Barry faced her father. “I’ve keyed up a preloaded sequence of Barry running at full speed. To the naked eye, Eliza’s lightning and Barry’s looked similar, so I doubt this will be too apparent, even to Zoom--the frame rate and exposure creates a bit of a blurring effect. There’s a set of joysticks to control projection angle with. I’ll create a distraction at the front so that you can sneak in the back. Find a place to hide, and I’ll stay within projection of you.”

Wally sighed heavily. “Alright, here goes.” He stepped out of the car, carrying the projector. “Don’t die on me, or I’ll tell your dad.”

 _There’s the old Wally._ “Yessir.”

He left then, leaving her alone with a big syringe of V-9. _Alright, here goes nothing._ Jesse found a good vein, closed her eyes, and injected herself.

The feeling was mildly pleasant, like a massive rush of fizzy bubbles filling her up. The world spun hectically, hard enough that Jesse had to grip the dash. Her pulse started pounding frantically through her ears like a hummingbird’s. When the horizon finally tilted back to the horizontal, Jesse pushed herself up out of the car and opened the passenger door. For fun, and because she’d been watching West Side Story with Wally after crimefighting last night, she snapped her fingers, reveling in the minuscule spark of static that danced between her finger and thumb.

She reached the front of CCPD in under a second, even though she lost her balance and fell on the way, and she managed to snag one of the two guards there by his jacket before he had time to see her. Jesse hurled him into the center of the room like a rag doll and ducked behind a corner.

There was a strangled yelp, several murmurs, and a low command from Zoom. Three sets of footsteps reached the doorway, but they merely dragged the second guard back inside. Jesse heard rumblings from Zoom, whimpers from the disgraced meta, and a snap that made her stomach churn.

Five sets of footsteps this time. Jesse gave them thirty seconds to get comfy before she delivered five punches, sending them slipping into a jumbled, messy pile of limbs.

The next time, there were ten pairs of feet She was fairly certain that Wally couldn’t have taken much longer than this to make it inside, so she threw a few punches before she let them have her.

They shoved her onto her knees in front of Zoom. Jesse decided to spring for a bit of theatricality, so she spit all over him. She had dreaded this a moment ago: looking into his eyes and knowing what he’d done to everyone she loved. But now that she was here, staring at his face, Jesse knew she could handle it. He wasn’t Eliza, her friend, or Griffin Grey, innocent and younger than her, or her father, who she’d loved. He wasn’t someone who she should save, or even someone she could save. So she grinned nonchalantly at him, and decided to bet that he hadn’t seen the new Star Wars yet. “So, who talks first? I talk first? You talk first?”

Zoom gave a Kylo Ren-worthy growl. “Who are you?”

She cocked her head to one side. “Aw, c’mon, I’m that unmemorable? Jesse Thawne-Wells. Or Wells-Thawne. I haven’t gotten around to deciding yet. Anyway--” (she adopted an exaggerated accent) “you killed my doppelgänger. Prepare to die.”

Now he was just confused. _Guess he doesn’t know Princess Bride either. No wonder he’s a psychopath._ “And why should I be preparing to die?” She spotted Wally in a shadowy corner. He gave her ten fingers up. _He needs ten more seconds. I can do that._

“Because your face is so ugly. You didn’t know?”

Zoom gripped her face in a gloved hand, turning it up towards him, and Jesse tried not to think of the way her doppelgänger’s body crumpled or the bruises fading on Cait’s face. “You think you’re here to kill me, is that it?”

 _Three...two..one...here goes._ “Are you going to tell me I have to catch you first? Because let’s just say--that might not be so hard for me.”

She didn’t give Zoom more than a split nanosecond to respond, because she leveraged all her weight against the metas holding her and hopped to her feet, tearing away from Zoom and finding the rhythm of the ground beneath her feet. He was after her, of course, and gaining rapidly, because he had longer legs and more muscle and more experience. But her legs were strong like steel, and she wasn’t fatigued, not yet. She made it to the far corner of the room and took it at a straight diagonal, watching as a hologram of lightning peeled off her, running the opposite direction, Barry’s figure blurred heavily by the frame rate. _Shoot, I’d better do that, too._ She skidded to a stop in the center of the floor and held her hand in front of her face as she’d seen Barry and her father do, watching her fingers blur into unrecognizability. She touched her face briefly, just to check that it was vibrating as well.

Zoom, meanwhile, had apparently decided that Jesse was a time remnant. He was currently chasing her hologram with all the vigor, determination, and subtlety of a cat stalking a laser pointer. _I can do this._

“So, what do you think? Pretty cool, huh?” she yelled.

Zoom snapped to a stop halfway up the wall, jumping down to loom over her. “I’m going to catch you, Jesse, and we’re going to make Harrison Wells wish he never so much as heard of particle accelerators.”

She ignored the fluttering in her stomach and focused on the task at hand. “No way are you going to catch me! I’ve had my speed for less than a day, and I’m already faster than Barry.” To prove the point, Wally made the hologram run a few circles around them, as if it were gearing up for a lightning toss.

“You’re not a speedster,” Zoom said haughtily, and Jesse’s heart raced up her throat at Mach 4. “You’ve never known loss, the way the Flash and I have.”

She snapped her fingers and showed him the spark. “Well, guess the Speed Force just made a slip-up. Then again, it’s not like they didn’t slip up with you.”

That had him listening. Zoom stiffened, and if he’d been in an animated cartoon, smoke would have curled from the slits in his mask. “What does that mean?”

He lunged for her, and she darted out of reach, running in parallel with her hologram, crossing and weaving over some thirty times in the space of a second. Wally couldn’t manage some of the finer points of steering, since he was seeing in normal time, but he guessed what she was doing and sent holo-Jesse into deep zigzags. She watched as Zoom gave up on keeping the two Jesses separate and stopped tracking them with his eyes. Once she knew she had him fully confused, she stopped at the top of the landing. “It means that you’re never going to win this, because you don’t know what you’re fighting for. What _do_ you think you’re fighting for, by the way?”

He was about to follow her up the staircase, but the hologram flicked past him, running laps between the two entrances to the staircase. Zoom had a good reaction time, but she doubted he’d want to risk running straight into her. “I’m fighting for--”

She interrupted. “Don’t say you’re fighting for Cait. I am smart enough to tell the difference between love and a messed-up power struggle. Where’d you get your notion of true love by the way, Phantom of the Opera? ‘Cause you nailed the mask. I mean, it’s supposed to be a half- mask, theoretically, but I think you did well to cover your whole face. It’s not like anyone wants to see half of it.”

“You’re an ignorant child.” Jesse checked her watch. _15 seconds._

“Really? I think you’re ignorant. I think you’re so ignorant that you don’t really know what you want, or why you want it. I think you’re just grasping at power, because you feel empty. So you’ve convinced yourself that the Speed Force will fill up the hole inside of you. Or ruling the multiverse, or destroying it, or kissing Cait--the point is, that’s not going to fix you, ever. You’re a messed-up, sick psychopath, and the Speed Force isn’t ever going to change that!” She would have continued, but the pulse had come online, and she watched with glee as Zoom fell to his knees, clutching his ears and shooting her a baleful glare.

Jesse raced down the stairs and wrenched his hands off his ears. He broke one hand free of her grip and tried to punch her, but he missed, and--

 _He didn’t miss--he punched open a breach!?_ Okay, she was screwed.

Zoom made a leap for his breach, but she grabbed for his legs and dragged them down, clinging to them as if they were the last flotation device on the Titanic. He was struggling to his feet again, and she could feel herself tiring, her hold on him loosening swiftly. Zoom was on his feet, and he’d grabbed her by the collar now. She bit madly at his gloved hand, scrabbling for a place to hurt him.

The door flung open, and the combined might of CCPD levelled their guns at Zoom. Jesse couldn’t tell if Joe West was among them, but she saw Zoom’s mask stretch as he smiled, and she saw on her watch that her time was running out.

As he lunged across the room to snap the first officer’s neck, Jesse labored her way to standing and sprinted after him. She caught him millimeters away from his victim, digging her fingers into the gap between mask and suit, yanking him backwards until they sprawled on the ground in a tangle.

He was getting up again, bracing his weight on one knee while Jesse was still trying to remember which way was up. The breach had long since disappeared, but he could probably open another, and she couldn’t let that happen.

Jesse didn’t understand how she mustered up energy for that final punch, but she hit desperately at Zoom’s knee with all of the force left in her. He yowled in agony as it snapped.

When his scream stopped, she thought at first that he must have run out of breath. But he was oddly motionless, and that could only mean that the pulse had worked.

_The pulse worked!_

“I am no man,” she muttered drowsily as she hoisted herself up, giving him a final kick for good measure. “Now stay down!”

Wally ran to meet her in the center of the floor. Jesse collapsed into his arms, and for a long moment, they just held each other. When he let her go, he kept hold of her hand. “What are you guys staring at?” he said defensively to the officers in the doorway. “We just saved your lives! Can somebody call the Flash? We’re with him.”

Jesse could feel her head throbbing in time with her racing pulse. “Wally, what are we gonna tell Barry? We didn’t think about that...”

He had her head in his hands, and he was holding up a finger in front of her eyes for some reason. “Shhh. It’ll be fine. You did great, Jess.” She closed her eyes and leaned her head on his shoulder, but he pulled her upright and shook her. “Nuh-uh. You’ve got to stay awake, Jess. C’mon. Eyes open. I mean it. You’re not tracking well.” He called over his shoulder,

“Tell the Flash to bring Caitlin Snow when he comes. Have you reached him yet?” He continued on to say something else, but Jesse lost his words in a wave of darkness.

In a decidedly unheroic manner, she had fainted dead away.

* * *

**_ Harry _ **

Harry had left his phone on in the lab, even though he and Snow were in the middle of a very dangerous experiment involving several different volatile speed-neutralizing serums. He’d taken a break and put on his headphones at 8:29. When he’d received the all-clear from Allen at 8:34, he’d gone back to work, deciding not to check to see if Jesse had texted, because if he thought too hard about what might have happened to Jesse and the West boy, his hands would shake, and he would spill something.

He was mildly surprised when Allen popped his head into the Chem lab at 8:36, speaking far too fast for human comprehension. “CaitIneedhelpinjuryCCPDgonowspeedover--”

Snow interrupted him. “Barry, who’s injured? Are you injured?”

Allen took a deep breath. “Singh called. Our pulse took out Zoom, but there were--” he glanced across at Harry, then swallowed “--some injuries in the crossfire.” _Jesse_. It had to be Jesse.

Snow spun into action, furiously snatching bottles off the countertop and shoving them into her medical bag. “Any word on what the injuries are?”

Allen swallowed. “Singh didn’t say.”

“Is Zoom in custody?” she asked neutrally, not meeting anyone’s eyes.

“Yes.” Allen said quietly. “I put him in the pipeline just now. He’ll be up and about soon.”

Snow’s shoulders slumped. “Alright, I’ve got just about everything.”

“Is Jesse okay?” Harry found the words at last, feeling the hoarseness in his throat.

Allen laughed nervously. “Um, yeah, I think. Who said anything about Jesse?”

“You’re a horrible liar, Allen,” Harry growled.

“She’ll be fine. Eventually. I think. Caitlin’s good.”

Before Harry could ask any more questions, Allen rushed out, carrying Snow with him. Harry made a few half-hearted attempts at continuing the experiment, but after he spilled three unstable serum isotopes into a beaker of hydrochloric acid and caused a minor explosion, he gave up.

The Wests had left the lab once the pulse had cleared, and he could hear Tina McGee preparing to drive Jay Garrick back to her house, where he was staying. Harry was all alone in the lab, at the mercy of his visions of Jesse’s dead body, eyes open, staring at him accusingly.

Or at least, he thought he was alone until Ramon walked in.

“Hey, Harry? You seen Cait?”

“She left with Allen. Jesse’s injured.” He could have said that without snapping at Ramon quite so viciously, but he was too anxious to feel guilty for long.

“I know. Barry told me.” Ramon looked slightly pale. “She’ll pull through. Listen, is Caitlin okay, what with _him_ being in the pipeline?”

Harry shrugged Ramon off. “She’ll be fine. Did Allen tell you anything specific?”

Ramon screwed up his face, trying to remember. “Singh called, said he wanted to speak to the Flash, so I put Barry on the line. All I could hear was that she’d passed out, and Wally didn’t know what to do.”

“Wally? As in Wally West?”

Ramon opened his mouth to reply, but closed it as a gust of air and lightning whooshed past them into the medbay. Harry tried to call to Allen, but he flashed out without even a word to indicate whether Jesse would be alright. Harry tried the medbay door, but Allen had locked it. “Well,” Ramon said optimistically, “at least she’s well enough to be speeded. That’s good.”

“Shut up, Ramon. It could also mean that she needs urgent care immediately.” Harry knew he was being abrupt, and alarming, and rude. He knew that he was taking his frustration with Jesse out on Ramon, who didn’t deserve that. But this was Jesse in danger, his Jesse Quick, and he couldn’t-- _wouldn't_ \--lose her again.

Allen deposited Snow in the medbay, and Harry watched as she bustled anxiously over Jesse, hooking her up to a series of ominous-looking machines. Ramon grabbed him by the shoulders and spun him away from the window. “Harry, focus. Cait’s really good. She brought Barry back when Zoom snapped his back, she saved Jay from that coma--I mean, she nearly cured Zoom! Jesse couldn’t possibly be in better hands.”

Harry scowled, trying to think of something biting to say. Allen materialized beside him, with a second individual in tow who Harry recognized as the West boy.

“Is Jess gonna be alright?” he begged Allen, who appeared uncomfortable.

“Well, we don’t know what’s wrong with her...” Allen began.

“I already told you, she took V-9 to fight Zoom. Something must have gone wrong, though--”

Harry didn’t let him finish. “Jesse took V-9?!” He could feel his panic rising, feel the catch in his throat, because how miserably ironic would it be if yet again he lost Jesse to his own creation?

Wally brushed him aside. “Barry, is there anything I can do to help?”

Allen quirked his eyebrows oddly. “Who’s Barry? I’ve never heard of anyone named Barry. Barry who? Do you know a Barry, Cisco?”

Wally cut into Allen’s ramble impatiently. “Cut the crap. I made Jesse tell me. Can I help?”

Allen shifted uncomfortably. “Um, I’ll have Cait let you guys know if there’s anything you can do. Anyhow, I’m gonna go down and see if Zoom’s slept off the pulse yet. Cisco, come get me if things get heated, alright?”

Harry grabbed Allen before he sped out. “I want to go in and see her.”

Allen’s eyes darted around the room. “Harry, why don’t you wait until she’s awake?”

“She’s my daughter, and she might die! I want to see her, dammit!” But Allen was gone. He rounded on the West boy. “Why did you let her?”

The boy didn’t shrink. “I didn’t let her. If you know her, you know that she makes up her mind, and then she’s stubborner than a jammed gearshift.”

 _Jammed gearshift? Who does this kid think he is, a car mechanic?_ “I do know Jesse. What were you two doing, anyway?”

The boy stood stock-still, facing him confidently. “Lab-shopping for Tina. Then she got your text, and we realized that somebody needed to hang round Zoom and make sure he didn’t speed out of pulse range or something. She’d gotten some weird hunch from being in the Speed Force that she could handle V-9, and she’d run some tests to verify. So she thought I could use holo equipment to make it look like she’d created a time remnant--”

“Why didn’t you stop her? Why? You could have just refused to do it!”

Wally threw up his hands violently. “Listen, I wouldn’t have stopped her even if I could have! I thought CCPD was gonna send my dad in to babysit Zoom, okay? There was no way I wasn’t going to try and help him!”

That was it for Harry. He grabbed the boy by the shoulders and slammed him into the wall. “You--you jeopardized my daughter to save your father?”

The boy broke free, shoving him away. “Dude, she’s not your daughter! Jesse’s dad died!”

The words hit Harry with all the force of a tank. “You know nothing about me or Jesse--” he began.

Ramon scurried over. “Hey, guys, could you just, like, break it--”

He broke off as a steady beep came from the other room. _She’s flatlining._ Wells had imagined losing Jesse a thousand ways, but this hadn’t been one of them. He scrambled for the medbay door, but the West boy beat him to it, throwing his weight against the unyielding glass again and again. Harry’s heart was hammering in his throat harder than it had since the day when he stared up at the television monitor and saw his daughter’s phone ringing.

Snow, who had been feverishly bustling around the bed, pressed a button and said something urgently into a mouthpiece, which brought Allen racing through the Cortex and into the Medbay.

“What’s the code, Ramon! Answer me, dammit!” Harry growled roughly, shaking Ramon as hard as he could.

The engineer seemed scattered. “Um, 0212, but don’t go in there, Harry!”

The West boy had punched the code in the instant it left Ramon’s lips, and now the door was open. He could see Allen with his hand on Jesse’s neck, feeling her pulse quietly, Snow leaning on a monitor watching him. The scene was too calm to match the urgency of the flatline beep. At the sound of the open door, Allen and Snow turned, startled. Time seemed to dangle by a miniscule thread for a moment. The only sound in the room was the long-drawn out beep, reminding them all urgently that Jesse was dying in that room.

“Well?” demanded the West boy. Harry needed to think of something to call him: West was Joe West, the boy wasn’t specific enough, the West boy was a mouthful, Wally was too familiar, and the fact that Harry was even thinking about this served to exhibit just how desperate he was to ignore that Jesse was dying. “Why isn’t anyone doing anything? What’s going on? Somebody say something!”

Allen stepped forward. “Wally, she’s not dead. Or dying.”

The boy’s mouth gulped soundlessly like a goldfish’s. “So do you guys just have wacky monitors that beep when someone’s not fine and flatline when they’re OK?”

Snow gave a taut grin. “Actually, it’s kind of complicated. Jesse did flatline, but it’s not because she was dying.”

The boy squinted. “Um, what does that mean? I’m sorry, I don’t understand? Just tell me straight out. Is Jesse OK?”

Allen and Snow glanced at each other, then at Ramon, whose face had gone slack with sudden understanding. Allen walked forward and laid a hand on Wallace’s shoulder. _Wallace. I’ll think of him as Wallace._ “Jesse is OK. Wally, how much V-9 did she say she took?”  
Wallace (no, that doesn’t feel right--The West Boy is better) stiffened. “What’s wrong with her, Barry? You said Caitlin could get it out of her system! She said she took just below her tolerance level--um, nine minutes’ worth.”

Allen and Snow exchanged a silent series of glances. “Um, Wally,” Snow began, “Jesse’s heart rate right now is off the charts. It’s only detectable by Barry, which is why it seems like she’s flatlining.”

 _No. No. This isn’t true. Snow made a mistake, Snow makes lots of mistakes, of course this isn’t true, she woke up from that coma and she didn’t have any speed powers, and it doesn’t matter that powers are triggered by adrenaline, it really doesn’t, because surely they would have manifested by now,_ surely _Jesse’s not a speedster.  
_

_A speedster with superstrength. Isn’t that a frightening thought?_

The West boy was in a state--yelling at Allen and Snow. Well, mainly yelling at Allen, since Snow was quietly explaining the science behind what happened to Jesse to Ramon.

His daughter was a speedster. Dreadful possibilities cycled through his mind--every speedster they had met had become evil, and that could happen to Jesse; Jesse was so confident and cocky with her powers, what if speed caused her to lose her sense of her limitations entirely--

Not his daughter. Jesse wasn’t his daughter. She was the daughter of a man who wasn’t him, raised by yet another man who wasn’t him. He’d been alone and miserable, so he’d seized on the mere resemblance between her and his daughter. But there was more to bind West and his son than to bind them--there was even more to bind West and Allen than there was to bind them. They’d known each other for a few months at best, and he’d merely slotted her into the gap in his life and forgotten that such a gap ever existed.

Was he betraying his daughter’s memory by being a father to Jesse Thawne?

A large part of him screamed that yes, he had betrayed his daughter, and yes, Jesse would never want a stranger in her place. The most frightening thing about the multiverse for him had always been the fact that no individual was truly unique within it. And yet here he was, carrying on as if he’d never lost a daughter.

But he also knew that Jesse had never thought of the multiverse that way. She’d always been awed by the potential it harbored. She would love to know that after losing her, he’d made someone else’s life better in her memory. She’d want Jesse Thawne to live out everything that she herself was never able to.

He hoped he was right. But there was nothing else he could do if he was wrong. What would Jesse and Tess prefer--to see him lock himself inside an office and waste away? That wasn’t a legacy. That wouldn’t honor them.

Allen had pulled Snow aside into the hallway and was talking to her in a low, serious tone. Harry stumbled forward into the Medbay and made for the chair at the bedside, but the West boy was already there. So he leaned awkwardly against a side table, because he couldn’t make himself leave. Jesse was a speedster now, and she would need him more than ever. With a thousand silent apologies to the Jesse he had already failed, he waited for the woman on the table to wake.

* * *

**_ Caitlin _ **

Barry tapped her on the shoulder as she was about to go back in to check on Jesse. “Hey, Cait, can I talk to you for a sec?”

She nodded assent. “Yeah, sure.”

He glanced nervously around them. “Um, maybe not here. Hallway?”

Caitlin let him lead her out of the Cortex, trying to ignore the sinking feeling in her stomach. Barry was usually open with what he was worried about, and all this secrecy really couldn’t bode well. “So, what’s going on? I promise, Jesse’ll be fine.”

Barry sighed. “Cait, it’s not about Jesse.”

 _Oh_. “What’s going on? Is it--” The distraught expression on Barry’s face told her everything she needed to know. “Did he hurt you? What did he say?”

Barry sighed, leaning back into the wall. “I’m fine, Cait. He didn’t say anything. That’s...kind of why I’m here. He had an offer for us.”

“What sort of offer?” He hesitated, as if he were trying to figure out the best way to break bad news to her. “Barry, the more you hesitate, the more you scare me.”

“He’ll talk. But only to you. Alone, no cameras, unarmed--you get the gist. He gave us an hour to send you down.”

There was something off about Barry’s expression. “Are you okay?”

He gulped. “Yeah, Cait, I’m fine. Listen, you don’t have to do it--”

“Barry, if you’re upset, you can talk to me, you know that, right?”

He placed a hand on her shoulder. “Cait, don’t worry about me. I’m just worried about you. I was thinking we could adapt the comm mic from your dress at the gala--hide it in your collar or something. That way I can keep track of what’s going on--I mean, that is, if you go in at all.” She giggled. “Cait, this is serious!”

“Barry, you’re a worse liar than I am, and I honestly don’t know how you manage a secret identity.” She could say the words now without the twinge of guilt at how easily Zoom had taken her in.

“Cait, I’m fine. I’m just--feeling left out, that’s all. I mean, Jesse and Wally took Zoom down in the space of five minutes, and I’ve been trying for months. And now that we’ve got him, he’s just acting like I’m--insignificant. Like I’m not worth his time.” He gave her a crooked smile then, because he was Barry, and her heart went out to him.

“I get that. I really do. I get feeling like you aren’t useful. But Barry--”

“Mm-hmm?”

“You do realize that you’re the Flash, right? You’re the one and only. Do you think Oliver isn’t needed in Starling, just because his little sister’s becoming almost as good as he is?”

Barry groaned ruefully. “I don’t want to turn into Oliver!”

Caitlin pursed her lips. “Barry, Jesse isn’t trained. Yes, she and Wally took Zoom out, but Jesse almost overdosed on V-9. The reason they took him out when you couldn’t is that they took a dangerous, pigheaded, foolish risk that they really shouldn’t have taken. Remind you of anyone?”

He chuckled. “Okay, okay, okay. I’m not threatened.”

“You don’t sound convinced.”

He seemed so tired, all drawn-out bony lines. “Sorry. I am, really. I know that he’s messing with me, I know he is. Just--it’s stuff I’d been kind of thinking about for a while now, just feeling like with V-9 out there, I’m...I don’t know, interchangeable? Anyway, don’t give me the whole, you’re a good person and that’s unique thing, because Joe tried. Just--thanks for talking me out of the slump.”

She laid a hand on his arm. “Barry, I’m not finished yet. Yes, you are a good person, and yes, that is amazing and valuable. What’s more important, though, is that people believe in you. Jesse’s not going to figure out the Speed Force on her own. I know that you haven’t had the best luck with mentor figures in the past, but...I think you could learn from their mistakes.”

He didn’t seem to perk up at that. “I’m a horrible mentor. Thawne left Jesse in my care, and even if he was a terrible person, he did a lot for me. I tried to pay it back, and--I mean, Cait, she’s closer to Harry, who literally has the same face as her dead, evil, metahuman dad! I was talking to Wally the other day, and he met Jesse when they bonded over stories of how annoying I was!” Caitlin laughed then. She could totally picture that. He drew a deep breath and continued. “Every place I fit in--I’m getting supplanted.”

And Caitlin could see why he would think that. Joe had another son now, Central City would have a new speedster. “Barry, Wally and Jesse aren’t you. You’ve still got so much left to do. Don’t sell yourself short. And if it helps, Jesse’s probably going to go back to Earth-2 with Harry when this is all over. And I’m fairly sure that Zoom only wants to talk to me because he thinks he knows me well enough to manipulate me.”

Barry, who had been brightening as she spoke, seemed to relapse into gloom. “I’m sorry, Cait. I feel responsible. If I’d taken him out sooner, none of this would have happened. I should have noticed what was going on.”

She hadn’t wanted to hear that, but maybe he’d needed to say it. “Barry, it isn’t your fault. None of this is, I promise.”

He nodded. “Thanks.”

She glanced at the clock. “How long do we have?”

He checked it. “Fifty minutes? You don’t have to do it, you know.”

“I need to. We need the information.”

Barry hugged her. She relaxed her head onto his shoulder, feeling a little bit safer than she had before. He hovered awkwardly when he let her go, before heading in the direction of Cisco’s workshop. “I’m gonna go ask Cisco if he can whip some stuff up. We’ll be there with you the entire time, okay?”

She smiled at his retreating figure before picking up her phone and making a call. “Hey, Iris! Listen, I know it’s late at night, but I kind of need advice on what to wear for something.”

Ten minutes later, Iris had somehow convinced Barry to ferry her, along with the entire contents of Caitlin’s closet, to an unused lab. Caitlin had explained what was going on briefly: she needed to face down Hunter in something that wasn’t a ratty STAR Labs sweatshirt. Iris had pursed her lips, looking Caitlin over from head to toe, before whirling around to the heaping pile of clothes. “Practically everything you own is some shade of blue,” she groused. “And we can’t exactly dress you in Killer Frost colors.”

Caitlin shrugged. “I like blue. I feel good in it.”

Iris gave a heaving sigh. “Fine. Blue it is. I assume we’re going for minimum possible sex appeal.”

Caitlin groaned. “You assume correctly. There is no way I’m going to face him down if he’s staring down my shirt the entire time. I’ll just walk out, or something.”

Iris giggled. “Then let’s not give him much to stare at.” She started pulling sundresses from the pile. “How’s this? I know it’s a little cold in the pipeline, but this is actually what people wear in May.”

Caitlin stared at the proffered dresses. “Can I wear a sweater?” she asked, hopefully.

Iris shook her head. “If you wear a sweater, it looks like you’re trying to hide the bruising.”

Caitlin grabbed one, a light blue cotton with a flaring skirt. She pulled it over her head and smoothed it out, unsurprised that it hung a little too loosely on her. “How’s this?”

Iris surveyed her appearance critically. “Let me just take the sides in with some pins so it’ll be sure to stay up.” Caitlin nodded wearily, already trying to think of how she would handle this. “Hey,” said Iris gently. “Did he like it?”

Caitlin blinked blearily. “Who?”

“Ronnie. The dress. It’s about that old, and you’ve kept it a while, but I’ve never seen you in it. Did he like it?”

Caitlin smiled at the memory of Ronnie’s hands encircling her waist. “Yeah. He said that sort of skirt was only good for one thing: twirling. So he canceled our plans for the night and we went dancing.”

“Twirl,” said Iris. “Go on. Twirl. Come on, Cait, please, for me?”

Caitlin made several protesting noises, but Iris grabbed her by the hands and spun her around the room. Caitlin pulled back, sending Iris spinning as well, until they simultaneously became dizzy and crashed to the floor, laughing hard.

Iris got up first. “Bet you’re glad you quit wearing heels. You don’t even need them anyway. Do you want me to redo your hair?”

Caitlin looked in the mirror Iris held out to her. Her face was brightly flushed, her hair was windswept, and her eyes were laughing. “No,” she said. “I think I’m ready.”

Iris grinned. “You bet you are.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time: Jesse wakes up, Caitlin confronts Hunter, and Cisco vibes an unsettling future.
> 
> Wow, a lot happened in this chapter!! More than I was intending with my initial chapter size, but hey, I guess that's just how it goes. Thanks for reading!!!


	55. Jesse, Caitlin, Cisco

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings for verbal abuse, including gender-based slurs.

**_ Jesse _ **

The first thing Jesse noticed when she woke up was that she had a pounding headache, the sort of headache that felt as if someone had clamped a blood-pressure cuff on her head and was slowly tightening it.

The second thing she noticed was that the room she was in was far too bright, so her eyelids were awash in red. The heart monitor was beeping way too loudly. She groaned and tried to roll over, but someone was holding her hand, so she stopped trying.

It took her three tries to open up her eyes. She tried to say something along the lines of “Oh wow, I’m alive. That’s a surprise. Is everyone okay?”

What came out was a cross between a moan and a croak. “Jesse?” said a voice. _Wally’s voice. He's okay._ “You’re up. Let me get you a glass of water. How are you feeling?” She croaked again. 

“If you don’t mind, I’d like some time alone with Jesse. Why don’t you get her that water, and then I’ll leave you two to talk? I’m sure you have a lot to say to each other about how _grounded_ you are for pulling that ridiculous stunt.”

“Yessir,” said Wally scathingly. Jesse propped herself on her elbows, blinking as she tried to get her bearings. Something was different. Something was very, very wrong. Very off. 

“Jesse? Do you remember what happened?”

“Yes.” She did. She remembered all of it: the fizzy rush of Speed Force in her veins, the satisfying snap of Zoom’s leg, the dizzy, hazy feeling in her head after it was all over.

“Zoom’s in custody. You’ve been out for a while, and you flatlined.” He spoke calmly and tonelessly, much more neutrally than he usually did. There was something wrong.

“Harry, what’s wrong?”

“You’re a speedster.” He leaned back, watching her.

She did the math in her head. _The hit from the accelerator that sent me into a coma must have given me a second metahuman power. It would have remained dormant until activated. So it was either activated by adrenaline or by V-9, but I went crimefighting with Wally after the coma and nothing happened, which means that I definitely activated it with V-9. The effect would be similar to what happened with Jay, or what would have happened with Zoom if Caitlin had cured him._  
He must have noticed when she figured it out, because he leaned forward again. “Jesse--listen, I talked to Barry, and we made a decision you aren’t going to like. I’m putting you on speed-dampening drugs, just until we’re certain that everything’s over. If Zoom breaks out, then Barry should fight him. You would have _died_ if not for that pulse. And neither Barry nor Jay has time to train you.”

She shouldn’t be sad for the temporary loss of something she hadn’t even known she had, but she felt the ghost of the fizzy feeling in her blood. It was like having a phantom limb. “Okay,” she said, swallowing. “Can I see Wally now?”

He scowled. “Jesse, you have no idea how worried you made everyone. You need to understand why I’m doing this.”

“I said I did understand. That was the “okay” part. Can I see Wally?”

His face twisted. “That’s all you’re going to say to me?”

She melted. “I’m sorry, Harry. I just wanted to help. Every day, I kept on feeling like you were about to go after him. You didn’t stand a chance, but I did, because I have powers, and after I was in that coma, I knew I could handle V-9. And it all worked out.”

He sighed. “Jesse, it was too big of a risk.”

She was so sick of hearing about risks. “Barry takes risks! Big risks! He takes them all the time! Every time he’s out there, he makes unilateral decisions.”

“No, he doesn’t, not anymore. Barry makes plans with his team, and he carries them out.”

Jesse sat up straighter. “I made a plan with Wally, and we carried it out.”  
He stood up. “Barry’s team is comprised of experts in major scientific fields, who discuss everything together and come to educated, informed conclusions. Your team is you and a _car mechanic_.”

“He’s an engineer.”

Harry flung his hands up in the air. “You know what? Fine. He’s an engineer. But it’s not going to change the fact that you don’t get to train until it’s safe.” She wished he would yell. Yelling she knew what to do with.

“You’re not my dad.” The words came out before Jesse could stop herself.

Harry froze for a fraction of a second. Then he set his mouth firmly. “You’re right. I’m not.”

He left, closing the door quietly behind him.

* * *

**_ Caitlin _ **

Caitlin tried to stand straight as she walked into the Pipeline, but nothing could have prepared her for seeing him again. He was leaned back against the wall of the cell lazily, his legs splayed out, his eyes half-closed. To someone less familiar with him, he might have seemed tired, or defeated. But Caitlin knew that his eyes weren’t half-shut, they were half-open.

It was seven steps from where she stood to his cell, and every step required immense willpower. But she didn’t let her gaze drop to the floor, and she didn’t let her back droop an inch from straight. She was done being afraid of him.

His eyes raked her up and down as she came up to the door. “Zoom.”

He tilted his chin in acknowledgement. “Caitlin. I’d get up, but that little bitch broke my leg.” Caitlin swallowed and forced herself not to respond. She couldn’t let herself sink to his level. “You’ve lost weight,” he observed softly, gazing at her with what she assumed was concern. Bile rose up, flooding her throat.

“I’m not sick.”

Hunter smiled tolerantly. “Of course you’re not. How...how are you?”

She sat down cross-legged in front of the door. “I’m fine. But we’re not here to talk about me. You told Barry you were willing to talk, so what do you have to say?”

The edges of his lips tilted upward. “To the point. That’s a change from your usual. It’s a pity though. I kind of miss the hesitance.”

Caitlin closed her eyes briefly. _I can do this. He can’t hurt me if I keep calm._ “I talk how I want. What you like doesn’t play into it.”

“Clearly,” he said with a faint trace of amusement. “Alright. Down to business we go.” He leaned forward towards the glass, speaking with barely-subdued urgency. “I need you to let me out of here.”

She scoffed. “No.”

“I thought you would say that. Let me rephrase. If you don’t let me out of here soon, I will die. I will be violently murdered, and the blood will be on your hands and the hands of your team.”

Caitlin rose to her feet. “Let somebody know when you have something more interesting to say, Zoom.” He sat back passively as she turned for the exit.

“Time Wraiths.”

She turned back. If he thought that was interesting enough to make her stay, then there must be more to it that she hadn't comprehended. “Hmmm?"

He gave a feeble laugh. “It’s funny how often it comes down to this, Caitlin? Me sitting and waiting for you to pick whether you’ll stay or leave. The first time, you stayed. The second time, you left. Me and you, Caitlin. Every time, we end up like this.”

“Stop stalling. Why did you say that just now?”

He smiled. “You were there, just the same as I was. The first time, we’d just had a big fight. You’d experimented on that serum without listening to me. You’d lied to me, and I was the one who apologized. You were on the way out of the room, and I asked you to stay--”

“Save it, Zoom. Time Wraiths. Go.”

Hunter raised an eyebrow venomously. “We’re friends, Caitlin. At least, I believe that’s what two people turn into when one of them decides a relationship between them can’t work. Anyway, we’re friends, so I think you should call me by my name.” His voice was saccharine.

“Hunter,” she spat.

He chuckled. “That’s more like it. You know, I always knew there was a darkness in you. I just didn’t know you’d direct it at me. Funny how things work out.”

Caitlin gritted her teeth. “I’m not going to ask you again,” she said, trying to infuse danger into her tone.

“Right. Time Wraiths. Simply put, they’re my murderers-to-be. See, I created several time remnants for this. I played around with the rules a bit too much, and...well...” his mouth quirked upwards. “They’re coming for me. If I move around, I can stay out of their reach, but when I’m stuck in here, well, they catch up. So here’s the deal. You guys let me out, and give me the antidote to whatever speed-dampener you put me on, and you’ll never hear from me again. In addition, I’ll personally call off all my Earth-2 forces. But if you don’t let me out, then I die, and you don’t get what you want. You know that’s all that Barry cares about, right? Getting the information that he wants and making sure his hands don’t get bloody in the process?”

She pulled her shoulders back. “Anything else to say, Zoom?”

“Yes,” he said, gazing up at her. But there was something wrong, something broken in his glance. “I want you to know that everything I felt for you was real. All of it. I know I messed up, but when you move on, I want you to remember the good times. I never meant to hurt you, Caitlin. You are the only light my life has ever had.”

She sighed. “I don’t want to do this. Now, or ever. Maybe you love me, and maybe at some point in time, I loved you too. But that is over for me. Just because you love me, or think you do, doesn’t make me obligated towards you in any way.”

Zoom pressed a hand to the glass. “I need you to understand that I didn’t have a normal upbringing. I’m not good at doing things right, and I’m trying to learn how to love people. I made a lot of mistakes, Caitlin, but I don’t understand why you can’t accept that I need help to be someone who deserves you. I am begging you, begging you, Caitlin, not to give up on me.” His voice turned dangerous. “At least I gave you the time and space you needed to choose me, even though we both know that there were other options, less pleasant options--though who knows, you might think they were pleasant after a while... Anyway, the point is that you’re lucky I restrained myself, even if I’m currently wishing I hadn’t! Don’t you owe me anything for that--”

“SHUT UP!” she screamed. “Are you really trying to make me love you back by saying that, well, you tortured me, but at least you didn’t--oh my god, I can’t even say it. I don’t care how shitty your upbringing was, I don’t love you, and the fact that you love me doesn’t obligate me to teach you how not to repulse me. I. Don’t. Love. You. I have enough self-respect to wait for someone to come along and understand that love means more than what you thought you were giving me. You’re begging me not to give up on you, but my biggest obligation is to myself. I pity you, honestly, I do, Hunter, but I don’t pity you enough to make myself into a martyr. I am going to search for happiness where I want it, instead of tying myself to you. And if you really did care about me, then you would want me to be happy, no matter what that entailed.”

His eyes captured hers unflinchingly. “I don’t care if you don’t pity me enough to love me. But if you don’t hate me enough to kill me, then you need to let me out. Time’s ticking, Caitlin. If you walk out right now and leave me here, chances are I won’t be around when you get back. If you walk out, right now, you have stooped to my level. You have murdered me. I know you don’t want that. I’m on speed-dampeners; I can’t hurt you. Just one button, Caitlin, and you save yourself.”

Her hand reached, almost robotically, for the keypad.

“You’re making the right call, Cait,” he said approvingly.

And then her mind snapped to. _I am not going to let him control me._ “I’m sorry, Hunter. But I have to discuss this with Barry. Besides, I think I know someone with a device that can stop Time Wraiths. You’re perfectly safe in here.”

“Caitlin!” His voice wasn’t pleading anymore, it was low, and harsh, and menacing. This was the real Hunter, the serial killer. All of his personas and tricks had escaped him, and she read an ugly truth in his eyes. He threw himself at the glass, in complete disregard for his injured leg, snarling at her as if he would tear her to bits. “This was your last chance! I gave you every option I could think of! But you’re not giving me a choice, Caitlin, I’m going to tear your heart out of your ribcage, you disgusting bitch, and snap every bone in your body until you whimper and scream! I will chain you alone in the dark until you beg for me to come for you! I will burn your skin with lightning until you forget that you ever loved the fire! I will break you, every piece of you down, until you are nothing, do you hear me! I tried, Caitlin, but you were too stubborn. You think you’re better than me, but you should be flattered I even looked at you. You are worthless, do you hear me? You don’t deserve to live. I will strip your skin from you, a quarter of a layer at a time. Exquisite agony, can you imagine, Caitlin? You will hardly be able to remember your own name when I’m through with you...”

She walked out of the room and let his words vanish behind her.

* * *

**_ Cisco _ **

Cisco waited for Caitlin by the door to the Pipeline. He’d heard the entire conversation, of course, through the mic under Caitlin’s collar. So when she came out, he gave her a big hug.

Barry sped over from the monitor room. “Okay, I’ve called everyone. They’ll be here in a bit. Team Flash meeting, like the good old days.”

Cisco smiled weakly. The last few Team Flash meetings had not been good. Team Flash meeting was code for “ _we have a horrible, gut-wrenching decision to make, so let’s make it together and share the guilt.”_

There was nothing to do but wait. Caitlin curled up on a chair with a book. Barry paced the Cortex. Harry was scowling in a corner as he tinkered with a circuitboard. Jesse and Wally stood on the opposite side of the room from Harry. His arm was gripping protectively around her waist, and they kept glancing at each other as if to reaffirm that they were both, indeed, still alive. Jay and Tina sat behind the computers, their hands gently linked below the desk. Iris sat down next to Caitlin and read over her shoulder. “I’m so proud of you,” he heard her whisper gently. Caitlin gave a small smile.

Joe West walked in self-consciously. “Hey guys. Sorry it took a while. I just had to wrap a meeting up with Singh. What’s the-- _news_ ,” he finished, noticing his son across the room. Jesse made a move to separate herself from Wally, but he merely tugged her in tighter. 

“Hi Dad,” he said, affecting nonchalance. “You look...shocked.”

“We’ll talk about all of...”--he gestured meaningfully to his son--“this...later. Barr, what’s going on?”

Barry sighed. “Um, okay. Jesse’s a speedster, but we’re dampening it. Zoom was willing to give us intel, but he only wanted to talk to Caitlin. Turns out that the Time Wraiths are after him. Did we call Hartley yet?” he asked to nobody in particular.

Cisco spoke up. “Nope, not yet. I thought maybe we should talk about what to do.” Caitlin closed her eyes wordlessly. 

“I’m lost,” said Joe blankly. He looked around the room. “Anyone else lost?” Nobody volunteered. “Okay, then. Carry on. Don’t mind me.”

Cisco took over. “We have to decide what to do with him. If we keep him in the pipeline, there’s a good chance that the Time Wraiths will kill him.”

“Let them,” said Harry, viciously poking at the circuitboard. The room stared at him. “What? We needed a solution for what to do with him. I know that Allen doesn’t like to get his hands dirty, but if Zoom isn’t dead, then he can still hurt people. Think about what he has done to all of us. What about all the officers he killed? With the crimes that he has committed, he’s practically guaranteed a death sentence in any court system.” He paused, as if waiting for someone to agree with him. “Someone back me up, here. West? You’re a cop, explain this to them.” Joe didn’t respond. “Snow? He hurt you. He hurt countless other people besides you. Are you really telling me that you want to intervene with the Time Wraiths to protect him? He doomed himself.”

Caitlin didn’t look at him. “Harry, this isn’t about what I want.”

He flung the circuitboard down. “I see, it’s about what’s _right_. It’s about doing the most moral, _ethical_ thing. My wife is dead! My daughter is dead! The population of my Earth has been decimated. What do you want me to do, forgive him? I’m not asking you to kill him, or to let me kill him. I’m asking you not to stop the Time Wraiths from doing it.”

Barry stepped in front of Harry. “That’s enough. We get it, okay? Let other people talk.”

“And then what?” spat Harry. “We vote? On whether he deserves to die? Because my wife didn’t merit that courtesy!”

“You know what?” said Barry furiously, “I don’t _care_. We’ve all lost people, Harry. Everyone in this room has lost someone that they cared about. But killing Zoom won’t get your wife back, so can we _please_ make this decision without taking the past into account? If we do this, it can’t be about revenge.”

“Why not?” said Joe. Everyone stared at him. He cleared his threat. “I had to talk to the families of the officers he killed in the cafe. Barr, not everyone’s you. I get emails from them asking whether we caught the guy who did it. I mean I understand not killing him, but that’s a far leap from saving him.”

“Okay,” Barry said. “Okay, fine. Let’s put all this aside. Look, I hear what you guys are saying, but I’m still not clear on some things.” Nobody felt like calling him out on the evasion. “I mean, he’s smart. Why would he put himself on the Wraiths’ bad side? What was he even trying to accomplish?” 

Caitlin spoke to no one in particular. “He took me out to dinner once...it was the mind games again, and he said something--about controlling probability. Fixing things that went wrong for you. Does that seem right?”

Barry paced. “So the idea was that he was trying to take over the multiverse and stop all the other speedsters so that he could go back in time and fix it all. How many years are we talking?”

Cisco did the math. “Probably at least thirty. That’s probably why he started taking Velocity.”

Barry screwed his face up in concentration. “Okay, but V-5 wouldn't have gotten him back far enough before the cell damage kicked in.”

“That’s why he took my speed,” Jay volunteered. “The dampener isn’t quite as efficient as a siphon, but he harvested enough to stave off the effects.”

Caitlin had pulled up Zoom’s file on the monitor, and she was staring at the calculations. “Even the speed he got from you wouldn’t be enough. Diminishing returns to inputs: each increase in a person’s Speed Force carries a marginally diminished output capacity. The more Speed Force he had, the less efficient his speed was. And the farther he needed to go back, the more speed it would take.”

“What?” said Iris. “That doesn’t make sense.”

“Look at it this way,” Tina said excitedly. “This rubber band is the timestream. Jay, if you would?” She looped it around his index fingers, then hooked a finger around it. “Obviously, this isn’t a perfect model, especially with respect to vector direction, but as I pull the band farther and farther out in a different direction than the way it wants to go, it becomes harder for me to pull it. Therefore, each successive millimeter that I pull the band requires more force from me.”

“Oh,” said Iris, coming over to get a better look at the impromptu model. “I see! So that’s why he needed all that speed. For thirty years, Barry’s wouldn’t be enough, especially if he also had to stave off degeneration. I mean, it took Barry and Thawne combined just to send Barry back fifteen years.”

“Well, for what it’s worth,” Tina began, “they weren’t using traditional time travel. They created a temporal Einstein-Rosen bridge. But you are partially right. Thawne was simultaneously traveling forward into the future, as I understand it. So they could have bounced off each other, rather like two pool balls...”

Jay interrupted. “Not quite, Chris. See, they would have to be going the same way at first...”

“But what about the energy transfer? Even if the tunneling effect model holds true here, that doesn’t account for the directionality of the momentum vector...”

“Leave Einstein out of it. From what I can see, very little of conservation or relativity applies at super-speed. If we leave open the possibility that energy and matter can, in small amounts, be created and destroyed past the speed of light, which could probably be achieved with the tunneling effect and two speedsters...”

“I see! The speed calculation is cumulative! That shifts a different constant for Planck’s, which means that total energy increases! But I don’t understand where you’re getting the assumption of passing lightspeed...”

“Get a room!” Cisco yelled after them as they hurried out of the Cortex. 

Voices drifted into the Cortex. “Maybe...empty simulation room...no, you’re not accounting for...look, let’s crunch some numbers...”

“I think that’s what they're doing,” Jesse commented wryly.

“Still lost,” Joe announced to no one in particular.

Barry sighed. “Guys, what he was trying to do is the exact same thing that we let Thawne do. He just didn’t have access to an accelerator, so he had to do it directly. Is that really so wrong?”

“What’s wrong,” Harry exclaimed viciously, “is that he killed my wife!”

“But that’s not what the Time Wraiths are after him for!” Barry argued. “I don’t think that creating remnants should be a capital offense. We can do whatever we want about everything else, I mean, there is no _way_ I’m willing to let him have his speed back. But we have the means to save him. We shouldn’t let the Time Wraiths kill him for something that isn’t even wrong.”

Jesse interrupted. “If we’re going to save him, then we need to figure out what to do with him. We can’t keep him in the Pipeline forever.”

“Lian Yu?” suggested Barry.

Iris responded, but Cisco couldn’t hear what she said. There was a drumming in his head. He covered his ears, but it was like an army was trying to batter in the doors to his brain. His eardrums were assaulted by the sound of a billion screams. Waves of nauseating agony washed over him. He could feel a panic attack coming on: hell, he could hardly breathe. He squeezed his eyes shut desperately, and--

**_The earth was ripping apart. The sky was gray-red. Every building was crumbling to dust. There was nowhere safe to run, but the people ran nonetheless. The horizon pitched and tossed like the deck of a boat in a storm. And then, suddenly, absolute silence. Nothingness. Just shifting rubble, buffeted slightly by a gentle breeze, and a trace of blue lightning waving around scattered corpses, the wreckage of buildings--and a fallen road?  
_ **

**_But it wasn’t a road. It was too thin to have ever been a road, and there were sets of rails lying across it, and overturned nearby was the car that ran on top of it, and--  
_ **

**_Cisco knew this place. He had stood in this spot. The dust of buildings swirled around him, and every breath he took was thick with it._ **

_Earth-2_. **_The realization came to him, just as the Earth winked out of existence in the space between two heartbeats._**

He came out of the vibe on the Medbay table, gasping like a beached fish. Caitlin’s cool hands were on his face instantly, smoothing his hair back, feeling his forehead. “Cisco, do you hear me?”

He nodded, gulping in swallows of the sweet air. “We--we have to--Earth-2--Cait, he killed them--”

She grasped his upper arm firmly. “Breathe. Cisco, breathe.” He complied, wheezing in and out. Caitlin’s footsteps receded for a second before she returned, pressing a stethoscope to his chest. “You’re fine. It’s okay. You’ve been out for about ten minutes. What did you see?”

He opened his eyes blearily. She was leaning over him, her forehead creased with worry, her hazel eyes anxious. “Zoom destroyed Earth-2. Everyone there is dead, we have to--”

Cisco trailed off, watching as she froze in horror. Her hand crept to her mouth, and her eyes filled up with tears. They absorbed the shock of it together in silence. _Seven billion deaths_. _We failed_. “But--but how? He’s in the Pipeline downstairs.”

“Time remnant?” he suggested helplessly.

She screwed up her face. “Fine, but how did we not know? A catastrophe that big, it would have repercussions. We’d experience something over here. Let me--you know what, let me grab Harry. He’ll know.”

Cisco grabbed her hand. “Are you insane?” he hissed. “This is Harry’s Earth we’re talking about!”

“No it isn’t,” said Caitlin. “Not yet. Something big like this, it would create ripples, right? But think about throwing a rock in a pond--the ripples go in all directions. Which means that we would have known it was coming. You would have known it was coming.” But she said it as if she was trying to convince herself.

“So this was a ripple. That makes sense. I’m always out for longer when I vibe the future.” He swung his legs off the bed, trying to reason through it all.

“Harry’ll know more, but yeah. I mean, all it took to create the Singularity was Barry punching a hydrogen atom. If Zoom destroyed an entire Earth--well, I’m no physicist, but the energy release would be immense.”

“We have to stop him.” They couldn’t leave it up to the Time Wraiths--it could take hours for them to find Zoom.

Caitlin wasn’t listening to him. “But why?” she exclaimed, pacing to the door and back. “What could he possibly want with all that energy?”

Cisco sighed. “I don’t know.”

“The same thing he’s always wanted,” Jesse said from behind them. “Hi guys. I think I’ve got it.” 

Wordlessly, Caitlin pulled over a drawing board and marker.

“Okay, so basically, if he managed to destroy an Earth--and I have no clue how he’d do that--it would actually destroy all of them but one. The destruction of any one Earth would create an interdimensional Singularity--like the one we had, but across vibrational planes.” She drew a series of concentric circles. “See, these are the Earths. They’re all in the same spot, but they vibrate at different rates. Now, a regular Singularity is in the same plane as one of the Earths, and it doesn’t touch any other Earths. However, when an Earth is destroyed, it disappears from the stack of Earths, which means there’s a slot that isn’t being filled in. Another Earth gravitates towards that slot, but its vibrations won’t match those of the other Earth, which means interference, which means...”

“Kablooey,” finished Cisco, sucking in a breath.

“I don’t get it,” said Caitlin. “Why wouldn’t all the Earths be destroyed?”

Jesse tapped her fingers meditatively on her thigh. “Because of Newton. Actions result in opposite reactions, and the afterblast from any pulse Zoom used to destroy an Earth and start the chain reaction would be enough to partially shield whatever Earth he launched the pulse from.”

“Partially?” asked Cisco, dreading the answer.

Jesse chewed her lip. “It would be like a dam. It would keep the energy release from bashing the Earth to bits. But the energy would pour into our Earth in a controlled fashion. Everything would become saturated with chronal energy--existing as simultaneous versions of everything it ever could have been. All the Earth’s possibilities would smoosh into one Earth, and every moment in that Earth’s history would be playing out simultaneously. But Speed Force energy is different than chronal energy. They actually counteract each other to some degree. So with an infusion of that, Zoom could settle things down, with the added benefit of picking how everything shakes out.”

“All of probability at his command,” Caitlin whispered.

“We don’t know if it’s true or not,” Cisco prayed desperately.

“I’m gonna go talk to Harry,” said Jesse. “He can check my hypotheses. So can Jay and Tina.” She shuffled out awkwardly.

Caitlin got up. “I’ll do you one better. I’ll go ask Zoom.”

Instantly, Cisco latched onto her arm. He felt frightened, almost childishly so, sick of the apocalypse that constantly played out around them. “Cait, don’t. Please don’t go down there. Please just stay away from him.” 

She stood back slightly, with a miniature frown. “Cisco, what is it?”

He clutched at her tighter. “Cait, he scares me, okay?” _You’re my best friend and I am terrified to lose you._

Caitlin sighed. “Cisco, he’s in the Pipeline. He won’t get out.”

“But if this is true, then he _has_ to get out for it to be true.”

Her eyes were too sad. “Cisco, I don’t want to talk to him. But we need confirmation so we can move ahead with this. You know just as well as I do that Barry is morally opposed to predictive justice. I mean, even I’m a little opposed to it.” She paused, struck by an idea. “Tell you what--I’ll use the intercom system and the cell camera to talk to him. We can project me on that screen we used for movie night. It’ll be like FaceTime, but with a psychopath.”

Cisco dropped her arm. “Fine. But with one condition. You and I do it together.” He wanted to get back at Zoom for everything he had done.

She took a moment to decide. “Together. Of course, Cisco.”

He wrapped his arms around her. If he’d been taller than her, like a brother in a movie, he would have pressed a kiss to the top of her head. _We’re Luke and Leia. Freaking unstoppable Force twins._

Zoom wouldn’t know what had hit him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Brief disclaimer: everything in this fic is set last year (and was written before Carrie Fisher's death.) Sorry for the frequency of the Star Wars references!
> 
> Next time: Honestly, I can't even really tell you what's going on next time. Suffice to say, it's not good. Seriously, Not Good.


	56. Jesse, Cisco, Harry, Hunter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, guys. Hopefully, my choices will make sense by the end of this fic. Trigger warnings for the end of the universe (aka Harry and Wally having a civil conversation)...oh, right, also a major character death (non-graphic).

**_ Jesse _ **

Jesse heard voices as she rounded the hallway into the Cortex. Two men, from the sound of it. _Wait a minute..._

“And so there we are, X messed with the cables on us, so we’re trapped in an elevator, okay? And I’m, like, freaking out, because we just fell two floors like on Tower of Terror, and we’re crashed in the basement. Our phones don’t work because we can’t get a signal. We called the elevator help button and no one answered. So I grab my phone, and I start recording voice messages to literally anyone I can think of...my dad, Iris, my friends from Keystone, I think I even left one for my mom’s old number about how I’d see her on the other side. Meanwhile, Jess just sprawls out on the floor of the elevator and _watches_ me freaking out. I think she even pulled her lunch out of her bag and started eating it. So halfway through the meltdown, I come to, and I realize I’m embarrassing myself in front of my crush. I do a double take--this is before I had any clue about X or Jesse being a meta, of course--and I sit down next to her, and I pat her shoulder and start telling her we’re gonna make it through this, I’m gonna protect her, it’s okay to be scared but she needs to talk to me, you know the sort of thing. She gives me this weird look like “what the hell are you trying to protect me for? Go worry about yourself, dummy.” And then she does, like, an unimpressed eye-roll, and takes a big chomp on the sandwich. So I go back to freaking out, and I get going again on trying to call the elevator help button. And halfway through try number fifty-seven, she taps me on the shoulder and hands me her water bottle. I take a sip, she drugged it of course, and fifteen minutes later, I’m out cold, like _boom_! She must have just been waiting the whole time for me to knock myself out so she could get us out of there. Though she swears when I was groggy I tried to kiss her. Anyway, yeah. That’s Jesse. I really like her, but sometimes she is _aggravatingly_ competent. You know, she still teases me about that.”

There was an awkward pause before Harry spoke.

“That reminds me of a time when my wife and I were held up by muggers outside STAR Labs, but, if you can believe it, none of the muggers recognized me. They actually thought we were tourists.” He trailed off.

Wally prompted him. “What sort of thing were they carrying?”

“It was too dark to identify exactly what, but they had guns of some sort trained on us, and we were both unarmed,” he explained flatly.

“Did you have any tech on you?”

That got Harry going. “Experimental pocket microwave technology that I was going to bring home for modifications. The idea was to create a hand-held device that could cook food efficiently. Unfortunately, it tended to backfire and leak radiation. If I used it, we’d all die.” Harry’s voice was getting more animated by the second: trust Wally to know that the way to a man’s heart was invariably through his tech. “I took off my watch and put it down, but as I did it, they caught sight of the prototype in my pocket. They thought it was some sort of high-tech gun, actually, and that I’d stolen it. So they asked me, very politely, with a gun trained on my wife, to hand it over.”

“What happened?”

“I started to pull it out of my pocket, very slowly, thinking I could try to neutralize it behind my back. But they were all staring at me, and there was very little I could do. I began to realize that I was about to have a highly ironic and ignominious end, and I prayed that Tess could somehow survive. I was faced with the option of activating the device and hoping that my wife could escape in the chaos, or handing the device to the muggers, who would undoubtedly activate it anyway. And then, out of nowhere, Tess stepped on my foot, rather un-gently, and started talking. At first, it was a fairly standard line--are you sure you want to do this, what would your parents say if they saw you now, that sort of thing. And then, she got a grin on her face. I knew that grin, of course, it meant that she’d thought of something. She leaned forward, and told them that the man in the mask would be rather upset to see us go.”

“Who’s the man in the mask?” Wally was using his confused voice, and it was _adorable_.

“She made him up, then and there, along with the entire story of how we came into his employ. By this time, they had decided that they needed to know more about this mysterious new crime boss on the street, but they were afraid to betray their ignorance. They told Tess that if she told them everything she knew about the man in the mask’s operations, then they would let us go. My wife somehow managed to cobble together Moriarty, Richard III, and Ernst Stavro Blofeld into a realistic character, while divulging the bare minimum of his fictional operations. It was quite impressive how much she knew about smuggling.”

“Did they let you go?”

“Actually, it turned out that she’d called the police behind her back when they initially threatened us.”

Uproarious laughter, from both parties. Jesse knocked on the doorframe while staying out of sight in the hall, but neither of them seemed to hear her. “Um, Mr. Wells?”

“What?” Harry snapped.

 _Oh no, don’t do anything stupid._ Jesse wasn’t even sure who she expected to do a stupid thing first: Harry, or Wally. “I get things are tricky for you and Jess right now,” --Harry snorted at that-- “but I thought you’d want to know that she really respects you. Like, I’ve pretty much never seen that level of respect from anyone. I get that she acts out. But I’ve seen much worse from people. Anyway, I guess I just wanted to say that I’m sorry I yelled at you.”

There was a taut moment. _Wally yelled at Harry? Why?_ “Apology accepted,” said Harry coolly.

“I mean, who am I to talk about people’s fathers being dead, right? What Barry and Dad have is great. If you and Jesse could have even a bit of that, then it’s not my place to stop you.” He sighed. “I guess I just wanted to clear it up that it wasn’t about you. I think when I told you you weren’t her dad, I was just--I think it’s called projecting?--my own issues about Joe and Barry onto you. And I’m sorry if I dredged anything up. Compared to what Jesse says about Thawne, you’re the best dad she could ever have asked for.”

“It’s not a high bar to clear, West. Now would you mind leaving so that Jesse can stop feeling like she has to eavesdrop?”

Wally made a strangled choking noise. “Oh.” He speed-walked to the door, where Jesse waited for him. “Hey Jess.” He reached down for her, pulling her to him.

“Harry’s in the next room,” she whispered breathlessly.

“It’s not like he never did any of this,” he whispered back against the corner of her mouth. “He’ll forgive us. What do you say we go hit up Netflix at my place? Talk to Harry for an hour or so, and meet me there.”

She giggled. “Are you telling me you two are going to develop some sort of timeshare arrangement? Like I’m his daughter on Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday, and your girlfriend on Wednesday and weekends?”

“What’s today?”

“Wednesday.”

She could feel his grin on her lips. “I might be amenable to that. Can they do without you in the lab? I mean, no disrespect to the coming apocalypse and all, but I’d rather watch TV about the world ending than watch it actually end.”

He must have felt her stiffen in his arms at that, because he let her go. “I’m sorry, Wally. I have to go talk to Harry. I’ll try to find time, but it might not be for a bit.”

“What happened? Is Cisco not okay? I mean, I just assumed he was fine. Is something wrong?” 

“Cisco vibed--he--I can’t even--”

“Breathe.”

She complied, before spitting the words out in a rush. “The-multiverse-is-going-to-end-and-we-may-not-be-able-to-stop-it.”

Instantly, his arms were around her again. “Oh my god, Jess. I’m so sorry. I totally get it. I didn’t know it was that bad.”

“Will you be okay, alone?” she asked.

He laughed. “Jesse, my genius girlfriend and my moderately intelligent siblings are saving the world. I think I can do my part and watch Netflix alone.”

She buried her face in his shoulder. “I’ll miss you.”

Wally wrapped his arms a little tighter around her waist. “Yeah, you will. But you help science the world to safety, and then come right back, okay? I’m only going to wait for so long.”

He let her go in a sudden moment of determination, clearing his throat. But he kept one hand, which he held loosely, trailing his fingers along her wrist. It stretched between them as he walked away, and they locked eyes across the hallway before he turned to leave.

Jesse took a deep breath to collect herself before facing Harry. When she was ready, she wiped her hands on her jeans and poked her head around the doorway. “Um, Harry, do you have a minute?”

“You say that as if I didn’t just listen to...whatever that was.” He sighed heavily, standing up from the desk. “I suppose it’s my duty as the nearest proxy for Thawne to discuss a few things with you--” He struggled to keep the smile in his eyes from reaching his mouth.

“I got the Talk at the age of seven after I came home from school talking about my new best friend, who happened to be male.”

He grinned smugly. “I beat him to it, then. My daughter got it at the age of five. And then I homeschooled her.”

She gave him the requisite eye-roll. “Hey, I’m sorry about what happened. I guess we never really defined what we are to each other--”

“I think the last definition we tried was “uncle”,” Harry supplied.

“Uncle. Yeah, not my best idea. I guess--maybe we shouldn’t try. Just, you know, enjoy having someone still around. To be honest, if my real dad walked in the door right now, I would have no clue what to do. But he wouldn’t automatically mean more to me than you do.”

He tapped his hands on the desk. “By real dad, do you mean Thawne, or my doppelgänger?”

Jesse grimaced. “That’s the question, isn’t it? I guess it doesn’t matter. I lost my dad. He’s dead, either way.” She swallowed. “So I guess you’re--a second chance. Does that make sense?”

“Yes, it does,” he admitted softly, his eyes far away. Then he came back to himself with a harsh bark. “Go on. Tell me. You wouldn’t have apologized this quickly unless you wanted to soften me up for something. What cataclysmic news did Ramon vibe?”

She bit her lip. “Harry, it’s really bad. I think you should sit down.”

He complied. “Make it quick. If you hem and haw about this any more, I’ll tell your boyfriend about your crush on Mr. Darcy.”

“Wrong,” she said. “Maybe your Jesse had a crush on Darcy, but I’ll have you know that _I_ had a crush on Mr. Rochester. Darcy’s a jerk.”

“As if Rochester isn’t. Get it over with. One sentence maximum, Jesse.”

She chose the whole sentence before she spoke, watching him tense in anticipation. “We need your help with the science, but we’re fairly certain that Zoom is about to destroy every Earth except for Earth-1, so that he can rewrite his own life.” Harry didn’t give any sign of having heard her, except for a brief throb of tension in his neck. “Cisco and Caitlin are interrogating Zoom. We need to figure out exactly what he’s planning, so that we can convince Barry to stop him.”

He straightened up, swallowing briskly. “Yes, of course.”

She strode towards him and grabbed his hand. “Harry, talk to me. Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, Jesse. Let’s get to work.” He swiped irritably at his eye with his sleeve.

“You’re not alone,” she pleaded desperately, following after him as he headed for a drawing board.

Harry stopped dead in his tracks. “Jesse--”

She cut him off fiercely. “You don’t need to be alone.”

“But what if I deserve to be?” he snapped.

The words hung there for a moment, just as all the other dangerous words in Jesse’s life always had. “So that’s what it is. That’s why you’re trying to get yourself killed. You could have gotten out of this, Harry. You promised me you’d stay alive!” Her voice was raw with hurt.

“What do you mean, Jesse?”

“Every day, I saw you making ammo for your damn guns. You felt guilty, for some reason that I don’t understand, unless it has to do with the fact that literally everyone in STAR Labs takes on crushing guilt as a hobby. You think this mess is your fault. Do you seriously imagine I didn’t see the CCPD blueprints on your desk? Will you just admit that you were going to attack and get yourself killed? Does a second chance mean nothing to you? Just move on already!” she screamed.

His face blanched, and his fists clenched. “I created Zoom.”

“So?” she challenged. “Barry brought him here. Caitlin fell in love with him.”

“Neither of them intended to.”

She scoffed. “Right, because you built that accelerator with the sole intention of giving a serial killer superpowers.”

Harry turned to meet her eyes. There was something hooded in his gaze that made Jesse’s gut twist. “I could have guessed something like that would happen. I knew it might explode, I knew it might create the metahumans. How am I not ultimately responsible?”

“How have you not paid enough?” Jesse whispered. “You have lost everything. Your entire world might stop existing tomorrow. When are you going to decide to forgive yourself?”

“I did this,” he muttered again, turning away.

“No, you didn’t. You knew that there was a chance that this would happen. All of the worst possible outcomes converged, Harry. Tell me this--what matters more: your family, or the accelerator?”

There was no sound in the room but their breathing. “My family.”

She held him by the elbows and looked into his eyes. “And you lost that. You paid more than any debt you could ever have owed the universe.”

“And the people who the metas I created killed?”

“That’s not your fault. That’s the fault of the murderers.”

His voice was bitter. “I gave superpowers to killers.”

She stood firm. “No, you didn’t. You gave powers to people who decided what to do with them. Even if they were killers before, they could have changed. Do you honestly believe that there is no such thing as redemption?”

“I believe in redemption. But I don’t believe that I deserve a second chance.”

“Too bad,” Jesse snapped. “You have one. You are not alone, whether you deserve to be or not. I am staying right here, because that is my choice, and it isn’t up to you. You are a good man, who made a mistake, lost everything, and did everything in his power to right his wrongs.”

“Stop flattering me, Jesse.”

She tossed him a marker. “You know you’d tell me the exact same thing if I came in here crying about Thawne. I am good. That is a choice I make every day. It’s a choice you make every day, too. And as long as you keep making that choice, every day, then you have no right to feel guilty.”

Harry caught the marker. “Maybe you’re right.” He ran a hand through his hair, laughing nervously. “God, I don’t know where you learned the sophisticated philosophy stuff. Wasn’t me, and I doubt it was Thawne.”

“After he died, I went through a self-help book phase. Oh, that reminds me.” She held out her arms expectantly. “Hugs actually help regulate brain chemistry.”

He complied, stepping over to her and folding her into his chest. “I don’t know what I’m going to do with you, Jess.”

She smirked. “Face it. I’m literally the best second chance ever. You are really lucky to have me. I mean, I’m lucky to have you, too. You’re just luckier.”

“You got that one right.”  
****

* * *

**_ Cisco _ **

It only took Cisco a few minutes to set up a projection system between the Time Vault and the Pipeline. At Caitlin’s request, he hung up a backdrop (a sheet he sent Barry to grab from the West house, actually), so that Zoom didn’t recognize the dot pattern on the walls.

Cisco hadn’t been face-to-face with Zoom, outside of the occasional vibe, since Zoom had taken Caitlin. He wasn’t sure what he wanted to say. There was nothing you could say to make people like that realize that they were in the wrong.

He sent Barry in to set up the other end of the projection system. If he did it himself, it would take too long, and Zoom might try to talk to him.

They started the broadcast with nervous nods at each other. Caitlin squeezed his hand where Zoom couldn’t see it.

“Zoom,” Caitlin said by way of greeting. This was not the Zoom Cisco remembered. Everything about him was desperate, almost unhinged.

Zoom burst into a choking laugh. “Back for more? I know you can’t resist me. You’re so desperate, do you know that, Cait? But I meant what I said.” He leaned forward purposefully, enunciating every word with a slow leer. “You’re out of chances. You could have fixed this, but you’re so selfish, Caitlin. You wanted me while you were needy, and the instant I ask for anything in return, you toss me aside.”

“Cut it out!” said Cisco hotly.

“What do we have here?” He scrutinized Cisco mockingly. “I see, it’s the new boy toy, complete with less emotional baggage than the last model.” There was nothing left of charming, sincere Jay Garrick in this monster.

Caitlin squeezed his hand harder. “We’re here to talk to you about something Cisco vibed.”

“I don’t have to talk to you. You certainly weren’t this cooperative when the tables were turned.”

Cisco took a deep breath. _Go to hell,_ he said to Zoom in his head. _Go to hell, and stop bothering us forever._

“No, I wasn’t. Then again, you were hardly as considerate as I’m being. I think this time around is much more civil.” Cisco wondered how Caitlin was managing to stay so calm. He tried to squeeze her hand again in support, but he couldn’t. She was gripping it like a lifeline, harder than he’d ever felt anyone grip anything.

“Oh, please, Caitlin. Stop pretending that it was so torturous. I even took you out to dinner. I treated you with respect and courtesy the entire time.”

Cisco couldn’t let her take this any more. He stepped in front of her indignantly. “Shut up. When she came back, her entire body was practically one big bruise. I suppose that she got that from falling down stairs at how _courteous_ you were? Are you really going to tell me that she was terrified of needles for a bit because you were so _considerate_ to her? You know, Iris had to sit with her while she ate to make sure she didn’t choke on it, because for several weeks, she got flashbacks of you force-feeding her. Very _respectful_.”

Zoom didn’t answer Cisco. But he turned to Caitlin. “So he cares about you. Do you care about him?”

“Yes,” said Caitlin, inclining her head slightly.

“I don’t believe you,” Zoom said coldly. “You don’t have it in you to care for anyone.”

Caitlin grabbed Cisco’s hand again and pulled him back. “Whatever you want to believe. We know about your plan to destroy the other Earths.”

Zoom laughed cruelly. “Oh, you do? Any requests for your new lives?”

“So you think it’s going to go through, then,” Caitlin said.

“I’m not telling. But you’ve made a big mistake. You thought, both of you, that since I’m in a cell, you can do whatever you like. But what you forgot is that--”

Cisco tried to fight down the encroaching wave of fear. “You can’t lock up the darkness. We get it, it’s your catchphrase. She’s gonna be Killer Frost or Barry’s gonna be a murderer or whatever you want to use it to mean. Whatever. Seriously, consider your catchphrase as good as said. Just confirm it: you were planning to destroy Earth-2 to start a chain reaction that would condense the multiverse to one Earth. Am I right?”

“You’re wrong,” said Zoom slowly. “All right, except for the grammar. Past tense for something that has already happened. Present tense for something that’s happening right now.”

“What?” asked Caitlin. Cisco grabbed her by the wrist and dragged her away from the projector. _We’ve got to get out of here, got to get out, gotta get out, get out, get out!_  
But there was nowhere to go. He dragged her into the cavity on the wall where Thawne’s suit had been. Maybe one of those blasts will come, and I can hold him off so we can make a run for it. Cisco could feel Caitlin’s pulse thundering against his as Zoom’s voice continued. “I _am_ planning to destroy Earth-2 to start a chain reaction that _will_ condense the multiverse to one Earth.”

“He knows this room,” Cisco whispered frantically to Caitlin. She had her phone, and she was pressing the panic button that triggered the alarms and alerted Barry.

There was a flicker of blue lightning on the security cam feed, and then the camera cleared to reveal--Zoom’s dead body.

“What--how?” Cisco spluttered.

Understanding filtered gradually over Caitlin’s face. She squeezed his hand as she whispered, “Time remnant. That isn’t him in there. It’s a time remnant, and the real him just killed it to throw the Wraiths off.”

He wrapped his arms around her. “I need a hug. If we’re going to die, I want a goddamn hug out of it.” She giggled, sadly and nervously.

The lightning passed them by without a sound.

* * *

**_ Harry _ **

He should have known better. The universe didn’t do second chances.

He’d been standing with her when it happened. Reconciliation was a great thing, an amazing thing, but it wasn’t exactly conducive to productivity. So he’d asked for her calculations, and she’d admitted she hadn’t got many. But she’d explained her hypothesis. _Hypotheses_ , actually, and he’d looked on her with barely-veiled pride as she expounded a range of interconnected theories that could possibly solve some of science’s most fascinating questions.

They’d worked quietly for some time, running simulations and calculations in an attempt to prove her theorems. She’d sent off a text to Jay and Tina with some questions she wanted them to look into.

He’d just finished programming an energy transfer model when the marker fell from her hand and rolled across the room. “I’ll get it,” he had volunteered.

“No, it’s fine,” she’d said. “I just got distracted.”

“With what?” he had asked.

She had worried her lip for a moment. “What comes next?” she had asked him, gazing up at him suddenly with the innocent worry of a child. Sometimes he had forgotten how young she was.

“What does that mean? We’re going to be fine, Jesse.”

It had always been too easy to make her smile. “Of course we are. But _where_ are we going to be fine?”

His eyebrows had twitched together. “I don’t get it.”

She had taken a deep breath, evidently to prepare herself. “Are you going back to Earth-2?” she had said, as if she’d been rehearsing it for a while.

He had sighed heavily. “That depends.”

“On what?” She had been perched on his desk, drumming her fingers against it.

“On Wally and Tess.”

She had screwed up her face, trying to make sense of that. “Sorry, you lost me.”  
“It depends on whether Wally is open to a long-distance relationship. And on whether you’re still interested in traveling the multiverse in search of Tess,” he had explained simply.

“What about my training?” she had asked.

He had shrugged. “Barry trained without a speedster. Technically, that is. Couldn’t you do the same?” She had seemed to take a moment to contemplate the possibilities. He had laid a hand on hers. “Just think about it. You could be your own hero, instead of Barry’s sidekick.”

“My own hero,” she had whispered. Then she’d straightened up decisively. “I’ll need a name.”

“Cisco says the Arrow’s sister uses her childhood nickname,” he’d observed neutrally.

She’d scoffed. “Are you really suggesting I use _Jesse Quick_ as my superhero name? Doesn’t that kind of defeat the purpose of having a secret identity?”

“Or,” he’d countered, “it’s a work of genius. Who would ever guess a superhero would use their _actual name_ as part of their secret identity?”

“You are so dumb,” she’d laughed, swatting him.

“Earth-2, you and me. We fix things there, fix what Zoom did. And then: next stop, the multiverse. Find a place where everything can be right. Work for me, adventure for you--”

She had cut him off indignantly. “Are you kidding? I am so going to retire from this the instant I’m not needed. Stopping Zoom and people like that is great, but I hate having everyone freak out about me. I will _gladly_ retire, if it will stop you from mother-hen-ing me.”

He had ignored her. “We can found STAR Labs all over again, make it a family business. You and me and Tess, the way it was supposed to be.”

She had swung off the desk. “That sounds perfect. But let’s stop Zoom first, okay. Save the world today, dream tomorrow.”

He’d been about to kiss the top of her head in agreement when the alarm went off. Blue lightning had flickered around the room, and he had seen her fall. He had reached out to her and felt the horizon spin around him. Now he had woken, alone...except for Zoom’s leering death-mask.

The universe didn’t give second chances. All Harry had left to hope was that Jesse hadn’t truly needed him.

* * *

**_ Hunter _ **

Hunter watched Wells wake. He had all the time in the world for this, and he wanted to make his time count.

“I know you’re awake,” he said.

The other man’s eyes flicked open. “Take off the mask.”

“Why? Does it frighten you?” Hunter asked, genuinely curious.

“No. But I expect you intend to kill me, and I’d rather see my murderer’s face.” Hunter stiffened.

“How presumptuous. You don’t get to make demands. Not after what you did to me.”

Wells leaned back in the chair he was tied to. “I suppose it wouldn’t be helpful if I were to point out that you’ve turned into your father.”

“No,” Hunter snarled, “it wouldn’t.” But he took off the mask anyway.

“What are we waiting for? I thought most murders operated on a strict timetable. Or at least, so Jesse’s favorite detective novels would have me believe.”

“This isn’t a murder. It’s an execution.” He could sense the fear starting in his enemy’s eyes. The sarcasm was merely an illusion, a clever misdirection.

“Why?” Wells asked gravely.

And wasn’t that the question. There were a thousand answers. _Nobody should be a speedster without loss. It isn’t fair to the rest of us, so she has to lose you._

_Your arrogance caused thousands to die, all so that your name could live on. Yet you look down on me as a killer._

_When I reset the timeline, you won’t be here anymore. I can’t get my revenge on you that way, which means I have to do it like this. I get to kill you._

_Because it’ll hurt Barry._

_You’re everything I was jealous of._

_You did this to me._

_Because I want to._

_You deserve to die._

_I hate you._

But instead, he said, “Do you know the works of Mary Shelley?”

Wells snorted. “I assume you’re referring to Frankenstein, since I can’t imagine how Vindication of the Rights of Women applies here.”

“You created me, and you set yourself above me. Now I’m here to destroy you.”

They faced off silently, sizing each other up. “I assume that we’re somewhere symbolically significant, then, instead of a random warehouse. I didn’t create you, Hunter. Your parents created you, and you created Zoom. And I never set myself above you. I have done horrible things with my life, many more than I should have. But my daughter says that every day, I try to choose to do the right thing.” His eyes turned suddenly earnest. “If you kill me, that’s a choice you make, just like hurting Caitlin and Jay and my family. This might even be a choice that you can never come back from.”

“You’re wrong,” Hunter snapped.

“Nothing you did was ever inevitable. You are not a victim of fate, so stop pretending to be one. It’s disgusting. You are not a tragic, misunderstood hero. You are a goddamn villain, and I hope they show you no mercy when--”

“SHUT UP!” Wells was wrong. Wells was wrong, and it didn’t matter what he thought. It didn’t matter what anyone thought. They were all out to get him, anyway. They were all wrong, and Hunter was right.

There was a telltale whir of lightning. “Looks like our time together is at an end,” Wells remarked dryly. But there was a hint of a quiver in his voice.

“Let him go, Zoom,” Barry said, skidding into the room.

Jay followed shortly after. “You’re outnumbered. We don’t have to make this a fight.”

Harrison Wells fixed his eyes on Barry’s. “Tell Jesse that she doesn’t need a second chance.”

Hunter couldn’t stand it any more, this soap-opera love fest, everyone flaunting how much a father’s love meant to a child. It was disgusting.

When he was finished, there was blood on the suit, enough that he looked almost like the Flash again. He turned to Barry and Jay, frozen in identical expressions of horror. _If this is the point of no return, I don’t care._

“Well, go on, Flashes,” he jeered. “Let’s run.” After all, the future was his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I'm horrible. I'm sorry. Next time will be my last update: the final chapter, and a bit of epilogue! I'll just tell you by way of preview that no one is okay.


	57. Caitlin, Jesse, Caitlin

** Caitlin **

They had collected in the Cortex by unspoken agreement. Joe clutched Iris to him as they leaned over the computer. Tina had her no-nonsense face on, but she was twisting her watch around her wrist with nervous fingers. Caitlin could hear Cisco breathing heavily as he typed on the monitor, cross-referencing security footage, triangulating location data, doing everything he could think of to find Harry. All that she could do was hope that her serum, the compound she’d thrown together haphazardly in five frantic minutes, somehow worked.

She’d tried to convince Jesse to go to the West house and wait. Jesse had begged Caitlin for an antidote to the speed-dampeners, pulled off her inhibitors and pleaded with Barry to bring her to fight Zoom. Caitlin had refused, and Barry had left without her. Iris had tried to convince her to go lie down in the Medbay, but she’d been adamant. “I want to help.” So she was tracking Barry’s vitals while Caitlin monitored Jay’s.

“Alright, we’re just outside,” said Barry over the comm. “We’re going in.”

Jesse looked up from the display. “Is Harry okay?”

“Heat sensors read two life forms,” said Jay. “He’s alive.” Jesse sank back in relief.

“Let him go, Zoom,” said Barry.

Jay added, “You’re outnumbered. We don’t have to make this a fight.” That hasn’t stopped Zoom before, she wanted to say. But the last thing Barry and Jay needed was a distraction.

When it happened, it happened before anyone could do anything about it. 

Nobody understood that the mission could go wrong, not really. It had been so long since Ronnie and Eddie. And even with Ronnie and Eddie, there had been warning. There had been no doubt as to what Eddie was doing when he pressed the pistol to his head. And when Ronnie flew up to stop the Singularity, she remembered the acute realization that her husband had a seventy percent chance of dying. Maybe Team Flash had gotten cocky. When Jesse heard Harry’s last words, she smiled, and Caitlin knew she was imagining getting him back so that she could tease him about what he’d said.

But then a series of sickening sounds erupted from the commlink.

Jesse stumbled back from the monitor like it had burned her, staring blankly at it. Cisco scrambled to turn it off of speaker mode, transferring the sounds to his and Caitlin’s ears alone. Tina made a beeline for Jesse, grabbing her fiercely in a hug, superstrength be damned. Iris gripped Joe convulsively for a moment before heading over to Jesse, trying to guide her gently into the Medbay. “He can’t be,” Caitlin heard Jesse murmur as she passed by. Joe pulled out his phone, stepped out of the room, and called Wally.

“Well, go on, Flash,” Zoom’s voice snarled over the comm. “Let’s run.” Caitlin tried not to picture the scene: Zoom’s suit drenched in blood as he stood over a broken body. But the image in her imagination seared itself into her eyelids.

Harry was dead. She’d been proud to call him a friend. He’d filled in the gap that Thawne had left in their lives, and shown them all that they could move on. She’d always known that he would have to leave, but there was such a difference between Harry not being immediately available and Harry not being there. It felt like a punch to her gut.

She fought to regain focus. “Okay, guys. You have to get him injected. If you can do that, the serum will amplify the tachyon residue in his blood.”

“It’ll be like a big screaming beacon for Time Wraiths. A neon sign with the word DINNER,” Cisco supplied jerkily, shifting equipment aimlessly around the desk.

The regular sounds of a speedster fight came through: the whir of lightning, the fast patter of feet, the thud of an occasional punch.

Jay moaned over the link. Caitlin made a grab for the monitor. “Jay, talk to me. Your vitals say you’re fine. What’s going on?” _Please, we can’t afford another loss, Zoom can’t win, please, please._

“Jay Garrick,” Zoom rumbled.

“The same,” Jay panted. “You’re going to lose.” Caitlin refreshed the monitor angrily, but his vital signs still hadn’t registered the injury. _Today, of all days, is a horrible day for our equipment to malfunction!_

“No, I’m not. I’m about to get everything I ever wanted.”

There was a moment where Caitlin could feel her heartbeat pound desperately against her ribs, a moment where everything hung suspended, and it could go either way. And then the lightning resumed, but the satellite began to beep in the background. “Time Wraiths detected,” Cisco told her, and if not for Harry and Jay, he might have been jubilant about it.

There was a scream that set her teeth on edge, stretching for seconds that dragged like days. And then, there was nothing. “Flash, report?” she asked, tremulously.

“It’s over, Caitlin. He’s not going to hurt anyone again. Jay pretended he’d been injured so that Zoom would stop running. Then I injected him from behind. The Time Wraiths came a little bit ago. We’re on our way back.” He just sounded tired.

“What happened to Zoom?”

“He...changed. It’s complicated. But the Time Wraiths took him away. It--it wasn’t pretty.”

“Alright.” She hung up on the link, trying to make sense of everything. Hunter was dead. They were safe. It was over. Zoom was gone. She didn’t have to live in fear anymore, and that was a blessing. She could move on. But in the next room over, Jesse was grieving.

That had happened last time. Thawne had been defeated, which meant that Barry and Cisco were safe. But nobody had been relieved: Ronnie and Eddie had died and Caitlin and Iris had grieved.

She tried again to wrap her mind around those words. Harry, gone forever. Hunter, taken by the Time Wraiths.

For Harry, she could feel grief, even if the reality of his loss hadn’t quite set in. She could understand that she would never see him again, never hear another one of his sarcastic comments, never see the love and pride in his eyes every time he looked at Jesse.

But for Hunter, she felt nothing except an overwhelming sense of relief, tempered by a modicum of pity. She hoped for a split second that he hadn’t been in too much pain. That was the doctor in her, who hated all suffering. Then she remembered his claws on her skin, the sounds from the monitor, the trial transcripts, the horror on Jesse’s face, Harry’s empty desk, Jay flatlining, Barry broken in a wheelchair, and she hoped vindictively that it had been agony. She hoped that he knew that her serum had brought about his downfall.

That still didn’t fix what he’d done to all of them.  
****

* * *

**_ Jesse _ **

_She’d been doing her homework in the Cortex for an hour, and she needed a break. Jesse stretched her arms above her head, yawning vigorously. With a glance at her watch, she turned off the classical music she’d been blaring._ (Always put on music when you work, Jesse. It gives your subconscious a sense of order and time.) _She shot off a text to her dad about picking up stuff for dinner before she stood up and headed down the hallway in search of someone to talk to.  
_

_She wasn’t precisely sure where she was going. Barry and the team had been around the lab less frequently, and they kept turning her down whenever she invited them to dinner with her and her dad. She’d tried to ask her dad about it, but he hadn’t been able to think of any reason why they’d be upset with him.  
_

_Jesse wandered rather aimlessly around the hallways of the lab, peeking into abandoned rooms. She’d grown up here, and she knew all the best hiding places. Every day after school for years, her dad would situate her in the basement lab with her chemistry set, kiss her on the cheek, and leave her to her own devices. She’d learned most of what she knew about chemistry from experimentation. But he’d had a collection of reference books down there for her too, leather-bound, as big as dictionaries. Eventually, some of the scientists had caught on to the location of her hideout (or her dad had sent them down there to check on her; she wasn’t sure)._

_Cisco had been out of sorts ever since what happened with Snart, and his lab was on the way to the old basement. She could check to see whether he was here, and then she could go see if any of her old stuff was still in the basement. It was rare for her to be at the lab without her father, and ever since the accident, he’d been paranoid. He needed her to be within his sight at all times when she was in the lab, or within the sight of one of his workers. But today, he’d announced at breakfast that he had a meeting to go to about revitalizing the lab, and he wouldn’t be home until dinner time.  
_

_He probably wouldn’t approve if he knew that she’d gone to the lab without him, but she’d wanted to corner the team about why they were avoiding him. In hindsight, that would have worked better if she’d called to confirm that they were actually going to_ be _at the lab.  
_

_Cisco wasn’t in his lab, of course, but she continued on to the basement anyway. Someone had probably needed to get something from down there, and so the cluttered piles of boxes had been moved to create a narrow pathway to the wall. There was a faint banging from the heating units, but the air was freezing. Jesse tried to remember whether the basement heat was motion-activated or not.  
_

_She headed over to a box and began investigating its contents, her homework as good as forgotten. One box contained the specialty beakers, the ones that came in odd shapes and sizes and looked like a glass forest when they were all lined up. Another was just pages and pages of employee files marked “resignation tendered and accepted.” A third was filled to the brim with STAR Labs coats of all shapes and sizes. Jesse pulled one on over her tank top to try and combat the chill. She didn’t remember it ever being this freezing in the basement, especially not in May. And the heating, while spectacularly loud, was doing little to raise the temperature.  
_

_With a sudden shock, Jesse realized that the heating units were on the other side of the lab, which meant that the banging was something else entirely. She powered off her inhibitors and tiptoed to the opposite wall. There had been a secret door to a dead-end hallway there that one of the scientists had showed her when she was five. She remembered it distinctly: she had hidden inside it, and burst out the instant her father came for her.  
_

_“Help!”  
_

_Jesse scrambled to open the door._ The Reverse-Flash attacked, and they’re locked in there.

 _But the hallway was empty. She panted momentarily in relief, but the banging continued, even more loudly, and there was_ definitely _someone trapped down there. Jesse tried to visualize a map of the lab in her head, plotting her route on it._ I came in at the north entrance, and I went along the east hallway. Cisco’s lab is on the south end of sub-floor two, but this basement is huge. If I’m on the north end of the basement, that means that the noise is coming from...

...the unused end of the Pipeline. There must have been an escape.

_All things considered, it was lucky that Jesse had been the one to hear the noise instead of Cisco or Caitlin. She wasn’t trained, but she did have powers, and hopefully they would be enough to sustain her long enough to get a detailed alert to Barry.  
_

_She pulled out her phone and opened the heat-scanner app that Cisco had recently invented. There was the signal, to her right and a little below her, but it was..._ sitting _? That didn’t make sense. She felt along the wall, looking for the catch to a hidden doorway. Giving up, she rammed her shoulder hard into the wall, feeling it give a little.  
_

_It took roughly fifteen minutes of exertion before she broke through, landing practically in the lap of a surprised Eddie Thawne.  
_

_“Jesse?” he asked, desperation tinging his voice. He was a sight, exhausted and slumped, with his beard growing out and an indescribable something dead in his eyes. “Are you on his side?”  
_

_She blinked at him in confusion. “Eddie, what happened to you? You’ve been gone for weeks! Iris is going insane! What do you mean, am I on his side? Of course I’m on Barry’s side.”  
_

_Eddie’s voice dropped sadly. “Oh. You don’t know. Jesse, where’s your dad?” She looked up from untying him.  
_

_“At a meeting about revitalizing the lab.”  
_

_He stood up, rubbing at his wrists. “Jesse...he’s--he isn’t who he says he is.”  
_

_Jesse stepped back. “What? My dad’s been around longer than both of us. What do you mean, he isn’t who he says he is?”  
_

_Eddie gently pushed her into the chair by the shoulders. “Sit down, and take a deep breath for me, okay?”  
_

_“You’re the one who got kidnapped! You take a deep breath. I’m fine.”  
_

_She tried to get up briefly, but something in his eyes made her stop. “Jesse, there’s not a good way to say this, but your dad is the Reverse Flash. I need you to think back and tell me if you can think of anything he ever did that seemed suspicious--”  
_

_She shoved his hands off of her and leaped up. “My dad is literally the last person who could possibly be the Reverse-Flash. Do you not know what paralyzed means?”  
_

_Eddie regarded her with sympathy. “I know that just an hour ago, he was walking around this very room. I didn’t believe it either, Jesse. But we don’t have time for this.”  
_

_She spluttered out a laugh. “You’re telling me that Harrison Wells is somehow an evil speedster?”  
_

_“I never said that. The man who’s calling himself your dad is not your dad. He’s a descendant of mine from the future.”  
_

_She practically choked. “Eddie, we need to get you checked out. Do you hear yourself?”  
_

_Eddie gritted his teeth in frustration. “Jesse, it’s not that ridiculous. Barry has traveled back to the past. From the point of view of a person in the past, Barry would be from--”  
_

_“--the future,” she finished harshly. “Yeah. I get it.” A sudden thought struck her. “My dad doesn’t look anything like you!”  
_

_He sighed. “Jesse, he killed your dad and stole his body. He’s not your dad, okay? Now will you stop asking questions and start thinking about how to stop him?”  
_

_Jesse was trying to think of an indignant response that didn’t sound too immature when she heard her father’s wheelchair above them.. “Jesse?” he called. She made a running jump for the ladder and pushed herself through the hole in the wall, sprinting down the dead-end hallway and skidding, out of breath, through the secret door.  
_

_“Hey, Dad. I thought you were in a meeting.” She searched on his face for some kind of sign, something out of place, any indication that he could have lied to her for all this time.  
_

_“It got out early,” he said mildly. “Why aren’t you at home?”_

“I thought I’d drop by and see how everyone was doing.”

_He smiled warmly at her. ”Which of course explains why I find you in the basement, out of breath, and surrounded by half-open boxes.”_

_Her pulse was throbbing to a frantic drumbeat. Jesse could feel a red flush spreading up her cheeks. There was nowhere to go, nothing that she could do to fix this. She wished that she could erase the past few minutes and go back to her homework. Her new knowledge sat uncomfortably in her stomach like a rock. “I heard a noise,” she said, reaching a hand to her pocket. If she could get to her phone, she could try to call Barry. She had him on speed-dial in case of an emergency, and maybe if he heard her talking to her dad about Eddie, he’d figure it out._

_“Is everything okay, Jess?” he asked, peering at her._

_“I think I found Eddie Thawne,” she blurted. “He was calling for help, but by the time I got down there, he’d passed out.” Her groping fingers found the power button and the fingerprint lock. She hit what she hoped was the dial button and pressed 3_. (“F for Flash,” Barry had insisted. “If you put me as 1 or 2, I’d have to be Blur or Comet or something.)  
_Her father blanched, his eyes darting around the room and landing on her, taking in her powered-off inhibitors and the hand in her pocket. “Jesse, are you alright? Do you need to lie down_?”

_“We should go get Eddie. Wake him up, see what he has to say. Please.”_

_His eyes went dark with sudden understanding. “You already talked to him. That’s why you’re acting oddly. Jesse, may I please see your phone?” Jesse shook her head dumbly, stepping back warily towards the wall. She barely had time to blink before he darted his arm forward and grabbed it. “Ah. You called Barry on me. Calm down, Jesse. It's going to be alright.” She turned her face away as he slowly raised his legs from the wheelchair. This isn’t happening.  
_

_Barry showed up in the doorway, grasping the situation at a glance. “Reverse-Flash,” he said, and Jesse choked. He couldn’t have known that unless he’d already figured it out, and if he knew, it meant that they had all known this whole time and decided not to tell her. “Your fight’s with me. Jesse, get out of here, now. Tell Cisco to get in touch with Ronnie and Oliver, do you hear me?” He didn’t give her time to respond, and before she knew what had happened, she was outside the lab, shaking desperately_.

 _Jesse ran like she’d never run before, dialing Cisco frantically_. Get out of here, now. I’ve got to get out. Everything’s gone...lied to me...get out...lost...

She jolted awake to a pair of clear brown eyes staring at her. “Wally?” she asked. He nodded shakily. Jesse sat up. _It’s 2016. Thawne died last year. We defeated Zoom yesterday. Harry died yesterday and we scattered his ashes into a breach this morning_.

He made a grab for her hands, massaging them as if to reassure himself that she was alright. “Jess, what the hell was that? We were talking, and then you just blanked out like I wasn’t there. You were talking to your dad, Jess, and Iris's fiancé, I think.” He paused, running his tongue over his lips. “Have you gone to see someone about this?”

Jesse swung her legs off the Medbay bed mechanically. “They’re flashbacks. Like nightmares, but in the daytime. I stopped having them after the Speed Force. I would have told you, but I didn’t think they’d come back.” She’d thought she would move on. She’d thought it was over, that having grieved so many times, she’d learn to deal with it.

His arms were there to steady her the instant her feet touched the ground. “Do you think it’s because...” Harry’s name was left unsaid.

“I don’t know.” She didn’t mention that she’d been flashing back almost hourly, always to Thawne: her fourteenth birthday, her college graduation, visiting Tess’s grave.

“I...I didn’t know him, Jess. But you don’t have to go it alone. I--everyone here has lost someone, we’re all here for you. I get if you need time, just--just don’t shut me out. I promise, it gets easier.” And didn’t she know that it got easier, wasn’t she living proof that it was never too late to _move on_?

It wasn’t her fault, and it wasn’t fair. There wasn’t even the comfort of hatred and blame. Zoom was dead.

Jesse wished he was alive so that she could kill him again, even though she wasn’t a killer, she hadn’t killed, not even Griffin and Eliza, who she didn’t save. She wouldn’t kill Zoom--she _couldn’t_ kill Zoom, because Zoom was dead already. Jesse couldn’t decide whether to scream into a pillow until her lungs gave out, punch a punching bag until her hands were raw and bloody, or crawl into her bed and never come out. So she did none of those things.

She’d thought that after Thawne, she would move on. But now here she was, a year later, bereft of everything. After enough losses, the prospect of things becoming easier began to look stale and flat. She didn’t want things to become easier. She wanted things to become _better_.

 _Harry died because of Zoom. Zoom came because of Thawne. Thawne was in my life because he killed my dad. Thawne killed my dad and my mom because of_...Barry.

Deep within her, the Speed Force popped back to life like a bottle of champagne, frothing and fizzing merrily at the edge of her consciousness.

“Jess, talk to me here. Earth-1 to Jesse. C’mon. Did you hear what I’m saying? Joe said you can have the couch if you want. And Barry’s moving out soon, so then you can have his room. Nobody likes the idea of you living alone with no one to look after you.” She let him hold her, burrowing her face deep into his shirt as if he might be enough to keep her safe and make her happy.

Then she drew away.

“I’m sorry, Wally, but I have too much work to do. Maybe later.”  
****

* * *

**_ Caitlin _ **

Caitlin moved on, just as she always did. Iris showed up at her door on the anniversary of Ronnie and Eddie’s deaths with a big pot of potato soup, and Caitlin stayed up all night with her, drinking hot chocolate and telling stories about the past. The sleepovers turned into a standing appointment every other week: sometimes at the West house, sometimes at Caitlin’s apartment.

Barry invited her apartment-shopping (“ _please don’t tell Cisco, but I didn’t invite him because he has horrible taste_ ”). They met in the morning, and he speeded her around the city until they’d seen every last listing in his price range (and a few that she was fairly sure he couldn’t afford).

Jay moved to Earth-1 permanently and took over day-to-day operation of STAR Labs so that Barry could focus on being the Flash. He insisted vehemently that he was retiring as a superhero, but Tina told Caitlin in strictest confidence that “the poor man is practically begging for something to do. Managing the lab should be good for him, even if he isn’t the slightest bit aware of how to go about it. He can always ask for my help, anyway. If he isn’t too proud to do it.”

It turned out that Jay wasn’t too proud to ask for Tina’s help. They were married on a windy day in summer, in a small ceremony only attended by the STAR Labs team and Tina’s daughter. “Doesn’t mean that I won’t still trounce your lab in competition for contracts,” Tina said afterwards, with a wink to her husband.

Caitlin met her mother for lunch, and they talked about the latest discoveries in biochemistry. Surprisingly, that turned into a standing appointment, too. “I understand why you didn’t want to work at my lab. I just wanted to make things easier for you, Caitlin. But if working with the Flash is what you want, then you should do that.”

Cisco met her for dinner every Friday, starting two days after Zoom had been defeated. They toasted (“ _to absent friends”, “to Spock, may he live long and prosper_!”), and then proceeded to talk about nothing in particular as though they hadn’t seen each other’s deepest nightmares come true. Cisco told her about showing up on his family’s doorstep with a bowl of soup, an apology, and a rough copy of footage from the new Star Wars spinoff that he’d lifted from some databank. According to him, it had smoothed everything over. She’d been skeptical, but Dante showed up halfway through the dinner and hit on Caitlin with a series of offensively cheesy pickup lines, to the accompaniment of raucous laughter from Cisco.

Team Flash moved on, but they never forgot.


	58. Epilogue

**_ Jesse _ **

Barry found Jesse in the basement two days after Zoom, her arms stacked high with boxes.

“I thought you might be here,” he observed.

“I thought it was about time we got rid of some of this junk. What do you want?”

“Can we talk?” 

She put the boxes down, powered her inhibitors on, and perched herself on top of a pile of boxes. “Sure. What’s going on?”

He dragged over a box to sit on. He looked significantly less haggard than he had the last time she saw him, and Jesse felt a stab of envy. “Joe was wondering why you haven’t moved in. I’m moving out in about a week, and I was thinking that maybe...you could move in with me? It’s a big apartment.”

“Why?” Jesse asked. 

“Because Thawne told me to look after you, and I screwed up. I thought you needed time, but I should have been there for you. We should be closer than we are.”

“Why now?” Barry enjoyed living in denial, but this was a little ridiculous.

“Because Harry died two days ago, which means that you’re alone again. Nobody deserves to be alone. I know I wouldn’t be anywhere today without what Joe did for me--”

“You’re not Joe. I’m not eleven, Barry. And I don’t want your pity or your charity. So the answer’s no.”

There was a drawn-out silence. Barry shifted uncomfortably on the box. “I’m sorry about Harry.”

“No, you’re not.”

He blinked up at her. “What? I am sorry about Harry, Jesse. I tried to save him.”

“No, you didn’t.” 

His face went suddenly pale. “Jesse, I’m not going to do that. I tried saving my mom, and I--I couldn’t go through with it. The life we have right now is good enough, and changing things doesn’t work well.”

Jesse was sick and tired of his moralizing. “As I recall, you didn’t have any problem changing the timeline to save Cisco. Why won’t you save Harry? Why won’t you save anyone? Why didn’t you stop the car crash and save my parents? Why didn’t you stop the accelerator explosion?”

“Jesse, it didn’t--”

She cut him off. He had sidelined her, but he couldn’t stop her from saying exactly what she thought of him. “That’s right, it didn’t work out. To save your best friend’s life, you sacrificed kissing your crush. Sorry to presume on you. I’ll just be going then.”

He grabbed her by the wrist. “Jesse, I get what you’re going through. I’ve been through it, too. But if you make things better for yourself, you risk ruining someone else’s life. Think about Caitlin and Cisco--”

“ _You_ think about Caitlin and Cisco!” she screamed. “What would their lives be like if they hadn’t met you, if you had actually stopped Thawne? Maybe Ronnie would be alive! Maybe Cisco and Caitlin would have lives! Maybe Cisco wouldn’t have died and come back with powers that he doesn’t want!!”

“That was Thawne’s fault--” Barry began.

“--But Thawne wouldn’t even have come back and ruined our lives if you weren’t such a jerk in the future! I might actually have grown up with my parents if you hadn’t somehow screwed up so badly that Thawne went back to kill your mom! And about that: don’t you ever dare say that you know what I’m going through. Not. Ever. Again. Do you hear me?”

“Jesse, you’re out of line. You need to calm down _right now_.”

“Your mom died, yes, but you still have a dad. You have two dads. And you got eleven years with your mom: don’t you understand how lucky you are? If my dad walked in this room right now, it would mean nothing to me, because I don’t even know what his favorite color was, or what sorts of books he liked. I was raised by a supervillain, okay? I didn’t get a big, loving, stable adoptive family! I got Thawne, who--he loved me, but not really as a person, he loved me as a symbol, this...historical figure he was creating. And he’s gone, and Harry’s gone, and--and literally none of it’s my fault. I’m just a _victim_ , and I _hate it_!”

“Jesse, it isn’t my fault either. I can’t control who I become. Besides, do you really believe that Thawne’s version of future events is accurate?”

She set her jaw coldly, but her face burned. “I know that he loved last-year-you despite himself. So if he loved you then and hated you later, that at least indicates that you change in the future, and not in a good way. If Thawne hadn’t come back, then hundreds of people wouldn’t be metas. Your mom would be alive, my parents would be alive, Ronnie would be alive--I mean, if there’s even a shred of a chance that by rewriting the timeline, we could help any one of those people, then what gives you the right to stop me? You are not the only one who gets to decide what’s right and wrong, Barry. Stop setting yourself on a pedestal.”

He sighed heavily. “Jesse, you can hate me all you like, but I--I’m begging you, don’t do this. Think about Wally. You have something good in your life right now!”

 _Wally_. For a second she wavered. Then she lifted her chin. “I’m not going to stop for Wally, Barry. You know why? Because I trust him.”

“Jesse, trust isn’t enough--”

“I trust that if he’s with someone else, he picked someone good, who deserves him and makes him happy. I trust that if he wants to be with me, he’ll make that clear to me, and I know, one hundred percent, that even if he doesn’t, we can be friends and have each other’s backs. And most importantly, if he's unhappy, I trust that he will do everything in his power to help himself. Look, you can go ahead and try to stop me, but I--”

“You think you’re making everyone’s lives better. Because you think you know what everyone wants--Jesse, how is that not putting yourself on a pedestal?”

“Just shut up!” she snapped. _I’m right about this. Everyone’s going to be happier._ “I am going to save my dad, and I don’t care what you think.” Deliberately, she pulled her inhibitor bracelets off of her wrists. With a deep inhale, she crushed them in a fist. And then she was off, stumbling with the wobbly legs of a newborn colt, Barry tearing after her. She gave him a good punch to the side, just enough to wind him, and she made it to the treadmill room, locking the door with Thawne’s overrides.

Jesse tugged her mask out of the pocket of her jeans, smoothing it onto her face as she stepped on the treadmill belt. _Here goes._

She wished she could save Harry, too, but without Barry, Zoom would probably never have kidnapped his daughter. So he’d probably be happy.

She hoped he’d be happy.

Jesse drove the Speed Force within her to its absolute limit, watching her legs blur below her, watching the number on the display blink ever upward. She forced her strength into her trembling limbs, pounding them down ever faster, faster, _faster_...

And then she was somewhere suspended in the midst of a blue tunnel of pulsating light like the breach to Earth-2. Jesse closed her eyes, trying to feel the exact moment when she reached her destination, and--there. A tiny pinprick of yellow, barely a glimmer. She choked another breath into her lungs. _I can do this, I have to keep on running, I am strong, I cannot be beaten._ She pushed herself again, but Thawne remained tantalizingly out of reach.

She had been running for hours, it seemed. Her breath was coming in panicked wheezes, but she forced her legs to keep pounding. The Speed Force crackled in her veins, and she pressed harder against the timestream, straining toward that distant yellow dot, until at last, she glimpsed the distant outline of a breach. 

It was as if she had gained a second wind. Jesse positively flew. _This is for my dad...no, it’s for everyone, I’m not selfish like that..._

Jesse sailed through the breach, landing solidly on the ground in a heap. Coughing, she raised herself onto her hands and knees, although all she wanted to do was spread-eagle herself out and go to sleep. She crammed gulps of air down her burning throat. _In...out..._

There were hands on her shoulders, spinning her roughly around. “Who the hell are you?” 

She stared up defiantly into his face, thrusting his hands off her (and wincing slightly as his upper arms snapped). “I’m here to save Harrison Wells. Listen, this isn’t going to work. I’m from a future where you try this, and--listen, nothing you do, ever, will make this work. So you can fight me, or you can get out of my way,” she growled. Jesse pushed him over, fumbling in the pocket of his suit for the device he was about to use to steal her father’s DNA. His hand beat hers to it, but she snapped his wrist deftly, holding the device in front of his eyes as she crushed it. He moaned in pain a little, but he tried to get to his feet. Jesse turned her face away as she broke his ankle. He wasn’t her father. She had to do this to save her father. “This will heal in a few days if you keep it still. If you try to change the past again, I’ll know, and I’ll stop you.”

The car roared around the bend. Coercing her legs into one last burst of speed, Jesse flung herself in front of it, shoving against its impact with all her might, scrabbling for traction on the road. 

The car shuddered to a stop, and the driver’s side door was flung open crossly. “What the hell is going on?” _Dad._

She scrambled to her feet, grinning despite herself. “I’m Jesse Quick, and I just saved your life. I wouldn’t drive any farther until you get some help. There’s spikes in the road. I--I’m glad you’re okay,” she finished softly.

Leaving him staring at her, Jesse sped off.

* * *

Cisco met Caitlin for dinner every Friday, starting two days after Zoom had been defeated. They toasted (“ _to absent friends”, “to Spock, may he live long and prosper!_ ”), and then proceeded to talk about nothing in particular as though they hadn’t seen each other’s deepest nightmares come true. Cisco told Caitlin about showing up on his family’s doorstep with a bowl of soup, an apology, and a rough copy of footage from the new Star Wars movie that he’d lifted from some databank. According to him, it had smoothed everything over. Caitlin had been skeptical, but Dante showed up halfway through the dinner and hit on Caitlin with a series of offensively cheesy pickup lines, to the accompaniment of raucous laughter from Cisco.

* * *

Cisco met Caitlin and Ronnie for dinner every Thursday. The conversations were generally a little awkward, though, considering their history. When Cisco didn’t show up one day, they just assumed that he didn’t want to continue the tradition any longer. When they read the obituary in the paper that weekend, Caitlin cried a little, but the main effect was that Ronnie refused to let her go driving at night for weeks in order to avoid drunk drivers.

* * *

Cisco was mildly surprised when the girl he’d met at a bar invited him to dinner. But after losing the PalmerTech job and his father in the space of a week, he deserved a bit of fun. He wore jeans and a nice button-down and slid into the booth across from her, but she didn’t look up from her phone call. When she finally hung up, he fixed her with a winning smile. Iris apologized profusely, but her friend Caitlin’s brother had just died and she needed to go be with her. Could they reschedule? Cisco knew being stood up when he saw it, and her excuse sounded so fake that she could have been a Doctor Who companion. So he never called her back.

* * *

Cisco met Dr. Tannhauser over lunch to discuss the merger. He laid out STAR Labs’s preferred terms. She listened, a finger twirling through her hair, before she laughed and announced that her company was in no way as desperate as he seemed to have imagined. In fact, they could most definitely continue on without the merger. A year later, Caitlin Tannhauser’s lab was back on its feet, and stealing contracts from STAR Labs left and right.

* * *

Time spun for Team Flash, around and around, possibilities ticking by like numbers on a roulette wheel.

The ripples evened out, the timestream righted itself, and the world adjusted in a thousand ways to the fact that Harrison Wells and Tess Morgan were alive.

Time shifted and spun and flowed, until suddenly, the roulette wheel stopped.

One single strand in an endless rope of possibilities suddenly turned into reality, and Jessica Chambers Wells woke up in her own bed to the sound of her parents making pancakes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! I'm finally done!
> 
> I've never finished a fanfic before, so I'll keep it brief. I have loved writing this work, even though it got ridiculously long! Thank you so much, if you're reading this, for sticking with it. I can't describe how much fun this has been. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did!
> 
> I intend to do something in the way of a sequel with this (eventually.) If you people have anything you would like to see, shout out in the comments! I can't promise to do everything, but I'll try! (Although I probably won't start writing a sequel until season 3 is over, just so I have a sense of the season as a whole.) But I'm open to anything, really...oneshots, fics about side stories...you name it! (No smut, though...sorry!)
> 
> I can't stress enough how much I'm going to miss this fic and fandom! Thank you, thank you, thank you!
> 
> Love,
> 
> formergirlwonder


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